cowboy67
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2004 18 October :: 3.06am
inside her skin
it had something to do with
lights flickering
inside an empty bath tub or
hanging off a clothesline
she threw a cup of tea at me
and inside that meta for
life
began where?
i blinked backwards, to find out
how it is that she can sleep, searching
for coins in the sidewalk cracks --
and sometimes -- skin cracks
"did you find what you were looking for?"
and do you mean my wife?
i left her at the corner of love and hate
waiting for a ride and
making change for a dollar
it had something to do with that, i think
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cowboy67
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2004 17 October :: 2.37am
days pass and this emptiness fills my heart
"touch is an end in itself. it is a primary form of communication, a silent voice that avoids the pitfall of words while expressing the feelings of the moment. it bridges the physical separateness from which no human being is spared, literally establishing a sense of solidarity between two individuals."
(masters & johnson, 1976)
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moana
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2004 16 October :: 8.38am
:: Mood: green
:: Music: van halen - panama
i'm jealous...
of your family. i'm jealous of the fact that you don't visit your father/mother. i'm jealous of the fact that your parent doesn't give/receive allimony. i'm jealous of the fact that your parents are both going to your graduation. i'm jealous of the fact that all your brothers and sisters are your brothers and sisters. i'm jealous of the fact that your parents can sit down in the same room. i'm jealous of the fact that it grosses you out when they're romantic. i'm jealous of the fact that you can have a meal with your whole family. i'm jealous of the fact that both your parents love you and love one another. i'm jealous of the fact that you're not a "divorced child". i'm jealous. i'm jealous of you.
3 comments |
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moana
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2004 14 October :: 7.13pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: deftones - one weak
my body.
warm breath. wide hips. tight skin. slender arms. smooth flesh. scented hair. love handles. moist lips...
frail.
vuluptuous.
small.
alluring.
mine.
yours.
you spend two years of your life, two years, two years which is a long time when you're just 16 just being together, being the greatest of friends, doing what you do best together. you're there everyday, and he's by your side, and no matter what trouble you get into, he's got your back, he's always there.
he was my friend. he was my best friend. that time lucy took the bat for me he was there to drive us to the hospital. when i owed zachary all that money, he came through. that day jamelle stepped on the wrong toes, he didn't have me, didn't let me make a mockery out of myself for that scheming conniving bitch. when i came so close to...
then you get drunk and stupid.
and then he's up your shirt.
and you're thinking, "when did this happen? why did this happen? why is this happening to me?"
why? i'm not sure. young and drunk is a bad combination.
i loved him in such a special way, and things got in the way of that. he got in the way of that. and instead of my best friend, he turned into this "close personal friend". and everytime i said it, i felt...ick. how could he do that to me? how dare he?
how dare you? how dare you want this from me? how dare you believe that just because i exist my body belongs to you? how dare you expect me to be yours because you did something for me? how dare you want my body for nothing in return? no care, no love, no consent... you need my consent.
you should've asked.
i should've stopped you.
i should have done a lot of things.
and in the end, i can't list off all the "how dare you"s i want to yell at the world. i want to yell at every guy i've ever dumped, and every girl that's ever dumped me and i can't because i just don't have the right. i gave my body. i didn't stop him. i didn't stop her. i didn't stop anybody. because i love everybody.
stupid. i want to make the world happier. how stupid of me. what was i thinking?
so i yelled.
"you call me and expect me to come crawling back to you? what do you take me for? your booty call? at least have the decency to say so if that's what you want, i've been booty call before! you killed this, not me, and if you ever think about touching me again i will personally tell the boys to rape you! how dare you, how dare you how dare you!" i yelled for so long. then i cried. i can't believe i cried. he made me cry again.
but no i can't blame him. not entirely, anyway. i cried because i felt guilty i was yelling at him. stupid.
i'm so stupid. i was so stupid. forget it, fuck that. this is my body. the least you can do is ask. i'm not a drunk anymore. i'm not gonna be stupid. this is my body. you want in, then you want everything that comes with it. my head, my thoughts, my feelings, my, my...
if you want the vessel, you're getting me with it. i'm in it. i can't leave it. you can't take me out of it. you can pretend i'm not there for the time being, and it helps when i wish i wasn't there. but it's over. i don't wanna leave my body just so you can have your space with my flesh and my skin. i feel like scratching it all off. i feel like i wish i was somebody else, in another body, i wish i could peel the very life off of it.
stop trying to get into my pants. stop asking me to spend some time with you when what you're really thinking is "let's have a few drinks and get on the couch." stop it.
stop it before i kill you.
Read more..
7 comments |
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cowboy67
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2004 13 October :: 7.18pm
no, don't look away.
if you don't stare, i won't feel right.
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cowboy67
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2004 12 October :: 3.55pm
your life is yours
okay, let me get this straight. or crooked. or whatever way i'm going to get this.
we hate what we are.
we hate who we are.
we want to be anyone else but us.
we hate everyone else because they're not like us.
that's how it works, correct?
have you ever wondered why we pride ourselves and our children on innate differences between us and them? why is it black vs. white, woman vs. man, jew vs. gentile, etc.? we're fixated on our differences, as minute and meaningless as they are. there's so much energy channeled into proving that we are better than everyone else based on things we have absolutely no control over, while bitching and moaning about everything we do have control over, yet never taking any action to improve these conditions. you suck because you're not from the same country as me. you suck because you're a different race. you suck because your father sucked. i suck because you can dance better than me. i suck because you're nicer than me. i suck because i'm not like you.
so...
you're not who you want to be, eh? well, who is it that you do want to be? why? will you ever be that person? no. will you ever be happy by wanting to be that person? no. is there a way to get around this? yes.
there is a way for you to be everything you ever wanted to be.
how do i do it?! i'm a lame, piece-of-shit excuse for a human being, laurence! i suck! no one likes me, and no one should like me, because i'm a terrible person! and i'm scared of everything! i don't want to get close to anyone because that makes me weak! i suck! but i'm better than everyone else because no one understands me!
timmy, please, calm down. you've just described every human being alive.
well, i'll be jiggered.
yes, i know timmy, it's a rather hard concept to understand at first -- but don't be fooled, every person alive is weak, afraid, and wants someone to take care of them.
but what about steve, the football captain? he's so cool! everyone loves him!
steve has herpes.
oh. yeah, but, i suck! how could anyone possibly ever like me, let alone love me?!
timmy, that's the beauty of humanity. no matter what your age, your sex, your weight, your height, your IQ, your skin color, your beliefs (or lack thereof), your culture, your strengths, your weaknesses, your talents, your faults, your personality, your shoe size, your ass size, or your nose size, you are capable of giving and receiving love.
ha! you don't know nothin'! i've never been loved my whole life! everyone puts shit on me and takes advantage of me! nobody's ever loved me and nobody ever will!
do you love yourself?
hah. what's to love? i'm worthless to the world and to myself. i should kill myself.
so why haven't you, yet? is there hope inside you somewhere that maybe all of this emotional subjective bullshit talk about that stupid 4-letter word has some truth to it?
what?
did you ever consider the fact that it's no one's responsibility to make you feel anything?
what are you talking about?! other peoples' actions make you happy or sad or angry, come on. it's always someone else that makes you feel something!
why are you getting upset?
ugh, because you're such an asshole! cramming all your pansy opinions down my throat! god, can't you just leave me alone! i'm a bitch and i like it, okay! i've had enough of this self-help crap! i'm outta here!
listen, children-who-call-themselves-adults, here's the deal:
1. i hate myself, you hate yourself. we have something in common already.
2. i want love, you want love. ah ha! something else in common.
3. no one else in the world will ever make you who you are or make you feel how you feel. no one. ever. you're alone.
you are all by yourself in that body. yeah, just you. and you'll always be that way. you're stuck forever in that body, with that brain, with those hormones, with or without those talents, with every insecurity, with every memory, with every experience, with every attitude, with every pain, with every joy, with every single thing that has ever been inside of you or outside of you. you are you. you make choices. you act. you speak. you control how you react. you make yourself beautiful, or you make yourself ugly. you make yourself what you want. you are your own responsibility, no one else's.
get it straight, or crooked, or however you can. just get it already.
5 comments |
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moana
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2004 10 October :: 11.21am
:: Music: muse - microcuts
Drama class...
ToTo: What are you doing?
Andy: Writing my monologue *writes "Monologue" at the top of a blank piece of paper* See?
ToTo: ...*wild laughter*
Andy: How come I feel like everytime I say something, you're going to blog it?
ToTo: (under her breath) Baa Raaa...
On the phone long-distance to California...
Kaileen: What're you doing?
ToTo: I'm trying to open the thing, but the thing is gone.
Kaileen: Oh yeah, that thing and like you pull it to open the thing...
ToTo: Yes. But the thing's broken and now I can't open the thing.
Kaileen: Uf, I hate those things.
ToTo: Things should die.
Kaileen: We're talking about sex, right?
12 comments |
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cowboy67
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2004 6 October :: 10.50pm
condensed cognition
i'll keep saying it. i'll keep telling people to love themselves and to love the people around them. i'll try to show people that it works. i won't stop. but that's all i can do.
12 comments |
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moana
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2004 6 October :: 6.55am
:: Mood: hot.
:: Music: eels - i need some sleep
what's your favourite flower?
i don't have one.
and since i'm sick with a fever (i missed school today) you will all send me flowers. not literally.
your favourite flower. show me a picture.
*sneeze* poor sick little tater tot. make me feel better, ok?
13 comments |
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cowboy67
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2004 5 October :: 5.59pm
to one of the best women i know
happy birthday, breezy!
7 comments |
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moana
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2004 5 October :: 7.47am
The ToTo: cowritten by Dr. Andony Dookhi, PHD ToTo-ology and the Original ToTo (born Fayer Bo3riki)
Observe the elusive ToTo in its natural habitat.
Unbeknownst to many, the ToTo has no cheeks, but possesses cheek pouches, much like a small chipmunk. This is what enables the ToTo to consume great amounts of food without exploding. However, at times, a ToTo will emit strange sounds.
Though initially born human, ToTos are devolved into a subspecies. They are asexual beings that, while may show outward sex-traits, will interchange and mate with both sexes of their kind (and others i.e. humans). They must continually mate, otherwise their punis will shrivel up and turn black.
A healthy punis.
A shriveled punis.
ToTos are originally classified as scavengers, but they are known to eat fresh food. They'll eat anything.
You know what, they are of no use to the human race. They only serve as entertainers and loose sexual partners.
The ToTo's life is based around mating and eating. So great and equal are these needs that, to a ToTo, food and mating are interchangeable. Watch as a ToTo tries to copulate with its sandwich.
Though they are a subspecies, they are remarkably intelligent when dealing with mating habits and nice Catholic boys will like ToTos whether they have ears or not.
Many humans will adopt domesticated ToTos as pets.
The ToTo does not have a regular hibernation schedule, but does so in between snacks and whenever necessary. When a ToTo is hibernating, it gives a false appearance of cuteness, but may become very aggressive if awakened. However, they are usually docile, friendly creatures.
In conclusion, be nice to ToTos. They are small and helpless and make nice pets so long as they are fed and sexually satisfied.
Save a ToTo. Go on a diet.
Save a ToTo. Screw abstinence.
14 comments |
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moana
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::
2004 5 October :: 1.48am
:: Mood: sick and hungry
:: Music: fozzy - stay hungry
random thoughts from a toto's mind.
the beauty of IB Theatre Arts... where else do i get graded to dirty dance to britney spears? (don't ask)
Gigli. ok, so i hated this movie, but i just had to, had to, share this.
Read more..
in more toto related news, you may have noticed my absense. this is due to the fact that a month into school, i have turned into a lifeless slaving studying-machine. i don't go home til 4. saturdays and tuesdays for forensics, the rest of the week for math. see, they're getting us IB students to tutor the pre-cal classes before their big test on matrices, and well... you don't need to know anymore.
but i do miss you all. i promise you i'll try to make a come back tonight, if i get done all my homework early enough. vanden boom, verstraete, get online! i miss all both of you!
oh and whatever happened to that online party you were throwing for me, vanden boom? you trying to cheat me out of a party? *narrows eyes suspiciously*
so i'm watching this discovery channel thing on formula 1 "indie" cars. it's a follow up on last week's. did you know that an indie car can go from naught to 160km (100miles) per hour in just 3 seconds? a lot of people say it's the car that makes the winner, but let's be objective about this. so ferrari, now the leading champions for 6 years in a row (going on 7), did not win a single tournament, not even for third, from 1979 up to 1998 (i believe). in 1995 they hire micheal shcumacher, the greatest driver in the world. for the first 2 or 3 years, he's warming up, and then he goes on a winning streak.
jack vilnov, the canadian driver, did not win a total of 10 races in 3 years. they boot him and get button, the brit guy, to drive the exact same car, and he suddenly starts winning.
cars make the winners? i think not.
indie cars have wings on their sides. true, honest-to-God airplane wings. the only difference is they're turned upside down. if they weren't, the cars would fly. the wings are used for the opposite effect. while airplane wings require lift, indie cars use their wings for "down force". it helps the driver control the car better. the down force is so great at top speeds, that by the time the driver reaches 190km per hour, he can drive the car on the walls and ceiling of a tunnel. it's even greater than the force of gravity.
you think anyone can drive that kinda power?
cars make the winner?
please.
don't insult heroes.
oh and, andy, woohu-man. happy birthday!
p.s. the good news is, i don't have to go get that pesky surgery on my eyelid, so yay!
1 comment |
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moana
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2004 29 September :: 11.54am
Miraculous in silk
drapery blinds salvation
May in feathers find all lost
All sold
for the bliss of holy sundown
Take me now.
-Madison Gaths
an exerpt from "Deadly Sin"
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cowboy67
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2004 28 September :: 10.33pm
it's the air
"so when i travel to different places, i can experience those people, but what really gets me is the air. there's something different about the air everywhere you go."
absence may make the heart grow fonder, but it makes the mind grow crazy.
2 comments |
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cowboy67
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2004 28 September :: 4.50pm
while talking about reaching orgasm:
"if you're laying there thinking, 'how am i breathing?' chances are, you should be thinking about something else."
- my human sexuality professor
16 comments |
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moana
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2004 27 September :: 1.29pm
:: Music: deftones - elite
when you're ripe
henrich ibsen is my new hero.
read hedda gabler.
books have got to be the greatest thing to ever happen to the world.
when i was a kid i started reading everything i could get my hands on. by second grade i was done with beverly cleary and betsy byars. so i wanted bigger better books. by fourth grade i'd read 7 shakespeares, ivanhoe, 12 mercedes lackey books, moby dick, jane eyre, little women, pride and prejudice... creepy little kid, huh?
picture little faygo, sitting on a minature rocking chair, feet won't reach the floor, reading a book bigger than my head.
it happened every day for years.
my brother thought i was sick. he yelled at me, then went whining to my mom that i wasn't right in the head. "what kinda kid sits in her room and reads for fun? why won't she go to her friends' houses? why won't she watch TV?"
the more he wanted me to be like him, the more i wanted to read. i've always been stubborn.
the truth is...
i wanted to be smarter than my brother. i thought if i was smarter than him, i might have a chance, might be a worthy competitor for the love, affection and attention of our parents. my father noticed, and he taught me other things, things i didn't learn from reading my books. somehow, my brother was still ahead. so i read even more.
it didn't work. oh well.
eventually, i figured out that i wasn't gonna get what i was after by reading. so i started figuring, i have to start looking for answers. and when i figured that, i figured, i need some questions. and so it began.
questions. my whole life revolves around questions. in everything i do, everything i say, i always have questions. and the more questions i came up with, the easier it got for me to find my answers in the world of literary giants. and i won't stop asking my questions. answers mean nothing if you didn't ask the question.
i found a lot of answers. not just in literature like the kind i stuck to as a kid, but elsewhere. i can listen to other people, and i can learn what i want to learn from them. most of the time i seem kinda spaced out, but i still listen.
i love it when other people, people around me, also have questions. if i have the answers they're looking for, i can share them. if i share the questions, then we can look for answers together. i'm not very good alone, it seems. i never really thought about that.
books.
i love books because
the truth is
books give me questions. they make me want to look for answers. books won't make me smart, books won't make me loved, books won't make me special. they'll just make me want to learn. then they'll help me learn, because even when we're looking for answers, books won't give them to us, they'll just sort of, tell us where to find them.
books. they're the greatest thing to ever happen to this world.
14 comments |
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moana
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2004 24 September :: 4.29am
:: Music: billy holiday - blue moon
the most beautiful morning in the world
Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
and you wasted the beautiful morning sleeping.
then you wasted noontime walking around in your pajamas, cursing at your family.
by midday, you've achieved nothing. you haven't even stepped outside to enjoy the breeze. what a waste. what a waste.
have you ever noticed how beautiful people look in sunlight? sunlight is the most natural and astounding form of beautification known to humankind. in the sunlight, hair seems to be alive, like an independent entity, its own form of beauty. the way you squint a little in the sun, and shade your eyes with your hands. it's staggeringly beautiful. the colour of your eyes gets lighter, and they look like water in the sun.
this morning, i woke up, stood on my balcony and watched the boys from upstairs swim in the pool downstairs. russians, 3 brothers. 19, 17, 12. the oldest one just sort of sat around and read, every once in a while he'd look up and check on his brothers. he was acting like a parent. it was the most charming thing i'd seen in a long time.
a relationship is something between equals. when you're a 14, 15 year old housekeeper, you kinda look for responsibility in your relationships. it's what suckers me, someone who can carry their own weight. i admire a man who can be home alone all weekend and not trash the place, get arrested and lose his virginity in 15 minutes. it's kinda rare. sucks.
but back to beautiful mornings.
mornings like this i kinda wish we had green grassy hills to lie down on, and flowers over your head with clouds that look like famous people. then i wish there's someone there who'll point them out and laugh at you when all you see in them is matt bellamy. laugh at me.
i wish the whole world could be awake every morning and do that. the whole world should wake up on beautiful mornings, find someone nice and lie down on grassy hills with flowers over their heads and look at the clouds that look like famous people. or if you're in kuwait, go out to one of those nice lonely areas, where it's windy and lie on top of the car and watch the clouds go by. everyone should.
the most phenomenal things in the world happen in the morning. sunrise. birds. flowers bloom. that perfect light that makes everyone beautiful. the clouds. and everyone's asleep. what a waste. what a waste.
what a waste.
6 comments |
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moana
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2004 22 September :: 4.33pm
waaaaaaait a minute.... i know that guy...
6 comments |
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cowboy67
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2004 22 September :: 11.02am
you don't have to be a female to be a feminist
tears for fears - woman in chains
you better love loving
and you better behave
woman in chains
calls her man the Great White Hope
says she's fine, she'll always cope
it's a world gone crazy
keeps woman in chains
trades her soul as skin and bone
sells the only thing she owns
woman in chains
men of stone
well, i feel deep in your heart
there are wounds time can't heal
and i feel somebody
somewhere
is trying to breathe
well, you know what i mean
it's a world gone crazy
keeps woman in chains
it's under my skin
but out of my hands
i'll tear it apart
but i won't understand
i will not accept the greatness of man
it's a world gone crazy
keeps woman in chains
so free her
4 comments |
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moana
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2004 22 September :: 9.32am
:: Mood: hot
:: Music: aimee mann - wise up
weekend
http://www.bookcouncil.org.nz/writers/williiamsmona.html
my english teacher. she interviewed with oprah winfrey. she published at least 24 children's books. she is awesome.
moving on...
things that happened this week. i made a calculator from scratch on msdos. i took a math test. my chorus class destroyed the song that was "i will" (beatles). ms. williams said "praise you!" three times to me because i'm reading king lear for the hundredth time. i'm ahead of the class in java and CAD programming. i also found out, i'm the only girl in the whole class, and one of only 3 girls taking the course in total. i hung out a lot at the office and with mr. ray. (i've come to the conclusion that both ray and harring are CIA. why else would they have been in our school since it opened?) i learned the chauffer and hands. that's pretty much it. not a very interesting week.
on a brigter note, the wedding wasa huge success! laughter and nice things like that. you know. dancing dancing dancing, eating eating eating. then again, there were quite a few horrors. some dressed in giant orange christmas trees, others, fake blondes with gigantic breasts and a practically-tube-that-i-have-to-hold-on-to-or-i'll-flash-the-room-top
that beat themselves when they danced. mfunis was everywhere. but we had fun. we danced. arabian style. yay.
oh and i've got a surprise for you later on tonight. keep an eye out for funny things from sears.
Read more..
3 comments |
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cowboy67
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2004 21 September :: 5.52pm
as reported by alexandra zavis in the AP:
In Monday's video, al-Zarqawi announced that Tawhid and Jihad was taking revenge for female Iraqi prisoners and called Bush "a dog."
The U.S. military says women are not held at either facility but has acknowledged it is holding two female "security prisoners" elsewhere. They are Dr. Rihab Rashid Taha, a scientist who became known as "Dr. Germ" for helping Iraq make weapons out of anthrax, and Huda Salih Mahdi Ammash, a biotech researcher known as "Mrs. Anthrax."
dr. germ and mrs. anthrax?
tell me we're talking about a real-life war and not marvel comics.
4 comments |
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moana
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2004 20 September :: 2.32am
:: Mood: i feel like making trouble
:: Music: interpol - roland
computer geek wants what she wants
i don't need this, i take programming and scripting, i make my own results. *pops knuckles*
you know you all wish you were this good
1 comment |
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cowboy67
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2004 18 September :: 10.48pm
don't give up your lover tonight.
6 comments |
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moana
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2004 18 September :: 3.09pm
my terribly snobby high-standard list of things i want in a perfect mate
i need a toto.
someone who's willing toeat with me when i'm hungry, who is secure enough to let me pay for my half of the bill but who's nice enough to offer anyway. someone who can taste and try new things, not just in food, but in life, and who doesn't need to look perfect for me. meaning, whipped cream on the chin is cute, and a mouthful of food is irresistible. i need a human-being, not a model. and screw diets, eat when you're hungry!
i need a hoo-hahsexual.
comfortable with physical intimacy, understands the difference between love and heat, can diffrentiate between passion and errotica. it's ok to show me how you feel sometimes, without saying anything, because it's different when it's with feelings. it's ok to experiment, and try new things, but it's also ok to have boudaries and respect the limits and sanctities of the human body.
i need an activist.
so maybe you don't march on the abortion clinic every weekend, but still, everybody's got to believe in something and follow it through, all the way. it works if i don't agree with it, because disagreements make life interesting. i can't stand someone who's totally indifferent, there's got to be some drive in his life. i don't care what it is, but care about something to the point of healthy obsession, and make that your passion, your motivation, all that jazz.
i need a genius.
maybe not a literal genius, but someone who knows what he knows and is willing to learn. i'm full of useless information, and he should be too, because it's so much fun sharing those tidbits. i can't stand it when someone goes "what's your favourite subject in school?" and this person goes "nothing, i hate school." you've got to love something you learned in school. physics, chemistry, biology, history, mathematics, anything.
i need art.
how many girls do you know aren't suckers for an artist? a painter, a sketcher, a sculptor, a musician, a dancer, a singer, a writer. smart is fun, but artists see the other side of it, they see the beauty of simplicity as opposed to the thrill of the complex. someone who can appreciate the miracle in a cool breeze doesn't need to be able to explain it scientifically, he just needs to feel it. artists can feel things in a sort of strange way that science can't explain. it's the mystery that makes them so wonderful.
i need a flaw.
so i've described mr. perfect. well who wants perfect? perfect is boring, and everyone interesting's gotta have a character flaw. maybe he's shy, maybe he makes funny smacking noises when he eats, maybe he bites his nails. it's adorable. he's gotta fall down somewhere, some place along the line there's got to be a crack in the sidewalk. he can't be irksomely perfect all the time.
i need to laugh.
a sense of humor is a MUST HAVE. even if he's not funny, he's gotta laugh when someone/something else is. laughter makes life easier. i'm sure some famous dead person said that. it's great to be able to laugh with someone, it automatically makes you comfortable with them. friends, family, whatever. if you don't laugh together, chances are you're not at ease with one another. then again, it's a fine line between the genuinely funny and the obnoxious/retarted funny. i'm not 6 anymore, contarary to popular belief.
i need to eat.
hoo-hah is hoo-hah and a girl's gotta eat. he needs to be yummy.
i need to breathe.
i cannot live with a neatness freak. i just can't. i need to live in a land where people can spill and throw and forget to put things away. i need to live in a place where there is no anti-bacterial for everything. i have to settle down in a place where it's ok to be messy and a slob. where it's ok to eat food off the floor and occasionally wipe your nose on your sleeve and once in a while wear the same socks for 4 or 5 days in a row. i can't stand germaphobes, and i have to have stains on my furniture.
misch.
- doesn't compulsively shake his knee (you know what i mean?)
- listens to good music
- reads for pleasure
- appreciates me
- belives in women's rights
- admits his flaws and can ask for help
- will stop for directions
- helps out with "girly" things like cooking and cleaning
- can operate a washing machine
- isn't intimidated by me
- is ok with us not being attatched at the hip 24/7
- has other friends
- lets me have other friends
- can be romantic on occasion
- is ok with forgetting birthdays and anniversaries
- doesn't think marriage is a plot by the government to keep tabs on us
- belives in God
- doesn't do drugs or alcohol
- cares enough to make me quit smoking
- can be honest enough to say "you're putting on some weight" or "if you do that it's just plain stupid"
- lets me clean his nails for him
- will play with my hair
- is faithful
- never breaks a promise
- is mature enough to know when to let things go
- doesn't insult my tastes or opinions
- wants to have children and then actually help take care of them
- belives in love
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