moana
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2005 20 January :: 2.35am
for AC
a certain woman i know had the capability of smuggling me out of kuwait. my mother gave me her number before she went to 7ajj, "just in case" something happens to her and i end up here with my dad. so i asked her if i could take someone with me. she said i could.
more news. when you get your jinsiya and jawaz, you don't need your father's permission to buy a ticket. if you have them with you, all you need to do is go to the airport and buy a ticket.
also, get this. the american embassy loves these sort of "child abuse" cases, meaning, they will help you get out if you go to them. not directly, but they will help.
hang on right now, because it seems like a long way back to sanity. whenever you so much as think of thinking of giving up, think of your siblings instead. iyyanee oo iyyaach you do anything to compromise their well being. if it all works out like i want it to, then i'll even watch over them for you while you go set your life up.
there's light at the end of the tunnel, and the sun rises on your eighteenth birthday.
IF YOU HAVE A JINSIYA AND A JAWAZ, YOU DON'T NEED PARENTAL CONSENT TO BUY A PLANE TICKET.
it's not long now.
i love you.
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moana
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2005 18 January :: 8.10pm
:: Music: bjork - i miss you
i know i already woohued today but, this one's for you, baby boy
I was looking through an old chronicle I kept a few years back when my brother first went to college, and found a whole section on air, or wind. I like this part of it.
"The rush of air, humid and stale, thick with the scent of rain and damp is as refreshing as any spring breeze. Any air that moves and changes of its own accord carries with it a calm and peace, a confirmation of life that no air generated by machine can ever emulate. Only when the air moves by itself, scattering my hair into my eyes and my face, do I appreciate reality, not as it is defined by the media, but rather reality as few know it, and those few only know it at rare time intervals. This realization of reality is often spurred on by the most unexpected things; a content, familiar face, a patch of comfortable sunlight in my eye and often, a sudden breath of air, from nature or by a loved one's lips... It's a reality I love and adore. It isn't frightening or unhappy as so often is impressed upon us, but pure and rich..."
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moana
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2005 18 January :: 3.07pm
i'm sorry, i just had to post this, had to. it's almost as good as the lollita test.
She Wants to Move by N.E.R.D. |
"Her off beat dance makes me fantasize
(Her curves) She's sexy!!
Her ass is a spaceship I want to ride
(Her ass) She's sexy!!"
In 2004 you got your groove on - and had the best time ever.
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moana
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2005 17 January :: 4.53pm
:: Mood: sick
there's been so much terrorism around lately. in these past couple of days there have been houses and apartments searched just to find ammunition, shotgun shells, heavy artillery, home made explosives and, scariest of all, plans to blow up and destroy areas of heavy foreign presence. this meant embassies, certain resteraunts and coffee houses and, you guessed it, private american and british schools.
i don't understand what's going through these people's heads. i'm not scared, it's about that. i don't feel threatened at all for some reason. but i'm confused. i wish i could understand what was happening. why are muslims killing other muslims in the name of islam? it just doesn't make sense to me. no foreigners have been hurt or killed or even inconvenienced. four policemen have died, and five are in hospitals with gunshot wounds.
i don't understand it.
my mother left last night to hajj, the holy pilgrimage required of every muslim once in a lifetime to mecca. while we were in the car driving her to the airport, we got the news that the saudi arabian government was spreading out 50,000 soldiers to "protect the pilgrims". it should make me feel better, but it doesn't.
i have a bad feeling.
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moana
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2005 15 January :: 1.55pm
:: Mood: warm and fuzzy
:: Music: zodiak - everything goes
They say it's a night in a year, when everything goes
Today I turned 17 years old. I took an Arabic exam and an IB HL Math exam, 20 Paper 1 questions. In other words, 20 questions on everything I've taken this year and junior year, straight forward math problems. And we're done our core for math. From here to May, it's reviewing for the final exam, and Paper 2, which is conceptual and abstract, the really hard stuff. There's never been more than one question on a Paper 2 exam, and it's never been less than 30% of the overall score. Basically, these are the thoughts that have occupied my mind all weekend (minus 2:06 on the phone with California, when I stopped thinking about math, science and... well no, I didn't totally stop thinking about free will).
I know today is supposed to feel special, but it doesn't. It's just another day: I had exams. But today, people gave me things, like swiss cake rolls and Interpol CDs *cough*.
But today is special, because I checked my mail and I had all the people in the world tell me how much I mean to them. Thank you guys, it's not the birthday that's special, it's all of you for making it feel like it is.
I love you all.
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moana
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2005 12 January :: 1.12pm
:: Mood: non-human
:: Music: kidney theives - arsenal
plants and snails
Some middle schooler walks by Andy, 7amada, Zed and me carrying a plant. This was our reaction.
Andy: Oooh look! Plant!
7amada: Can you smoke that thing?
me: I want to pee on it...
Andy: No, I want to look at it and admire its beauty...
*Andy and I crack up*
Read more..
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moana
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2005 10 January :: 11.26am
You're Chino! You are the ultra talented lead
singer of the Deftones. You write and deliver
some incredible lyrics, and always with that
extra oomph of sex appeal. Surprisingly, for
such a hard band, you really like softies like
Weezer (and actually stated that if asked to
join you would) showing the many sides of your
personality. I worship you!
Which Deftones member are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
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moana
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2005 7 January :: 10.51am
:: Mood: *sigh* ready
:: Music: interpol - evil
this is not goodbye
I've been happier lately. This vacation was just what I needed: time. I needed the time to party, I needed the time to jump around my room to The Strokes or Morrissey or Interpol or Mindless Self Indulgence, I needed the time to sit down with my brother and play Naruto until we both had tears rolling down our faces from concentrating on the tv screen for too long, I needed the time to sit down with him and watch disgusting comedy after another, I needed the time to sit down with my mother and figure things out, I needed the time to draw, sing, dance, write and most of all, I needed the time to spend with my friends.
If someone comes here and tries to tell me time is just a manmade concept and shouldn't affect us, fuck you. Don't you dare. No matter what there will always be twenty-four hours in a day, always be seven days in a week, time goes on, it's a real dimension and it marches through the three dimensions we inhabit, whether we like it or not. The only manmade concept here is the clock, the ability to track time and see how much of it we have left to get done what we have to get done.
That's a tangent.
I enjoyed this vacation so much. It meant a lot to me, in several ways and through several aspects, and though there were rough times (Laurence knows what I'm talking about) and I'm a little big caught up right now, I wouldn't change a thing about this vacation if i went back and did it again. If i could change it though, I'd put more hours into the day, more days into the week, more time to just... you know?
I'm going to miss it all when this vacation's over. I'm going to miss having the time to talk, having the time to relax, having the time to create. I'm going to miss you specifically, my personal gorgeous.
So i might be really absent. And if I am, well, don't change in the time it takes me to get back.
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WhitePony
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2005 6 January :: 3.46pm
:: Music: Underoath - The Impact of Reason
I was at work today, doing my own thing, making copies or something equally exciting while listening to Katie's and Tiffany's conversation. Tiffany's four year old son goes to preschool at a private school and Katie was asking questions about it; how much it cost and whatnot. Then she proceeded with questions/comments that weren't very clear, about if you pay for the schooling there are most likely to be kids who's parents really care about them or something. The way she was wording it was odd, like she was beating around the bush about something. Then she finally said "what I'm trying to get at is, there aren't like toothless dirty mexican kids there right?"
I wish I weren't so soft spoken and polite. I wish I didn't hold my tongue in certain situations. That kind of shit pisses me off SOO much. I wish I could've said something to her. She's not blatantly racist or anything. She doesn't use the slang words in reference to anyone, but still. I HATE hearing stuff like that. She could've made her point just as clearly by saying "toothless dirty kids" why she had to throw in "mexican" is beyond me. Every race has poverty problems, not just minorities. You want to know how to get me heated or piss me off? There's your answer.
Let me know when we evolve
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moana
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2005 5 January :: 1.13pm
:: Mood: content to wait
this isn't all about science.
i want to talk about the first four dimensions: level, depth, width and time. the first three dimensions are about space, about distance and how far apart we are. the fourth dimension is about time, maybe not exactly as we know it, but very similar to it, about how long we have to wait and how long we have to interact.
the first dimention, width, is what allows us to go back and forth. remember, we aren't talking about time, but take a step forward, then a step backwards, and you are nagivating the first dimention: width. walk in a straight line, and you're walking a whole dimension.
the second dimention is levels. if you're going up a flight of stairs, you're moving in the first and second dimensions. climbing a perfectly vertical ladder, you are navigating only the second dimension.
the third dimension is a little more complicated. if you were going up the stairs in a diagnoal line, you'd be navigating all three dimensions. if you were to go up a flight of stairs sideways, that's just the second dimension and the third dimention. if you're walking a diagonal line, that's the first and third dimensions. if you're sidestepping, that's only the third.
then the fourth dimention. you can't really move through it. you can't go up a flight of stairs and change time. there's no where you can go to make time that's been lost. once time is gone, it's gone. and if time is on its way to you you can't just step away and have it pass right over you. time is... weird. you can't go to it, you have to wait for it to come.
isn't that what we're all doing? waiting for another time? a time maybe when things are different or better or just a time when you're not alone. a lot of people like company, and not just the miserable people. but time can't be navigated independently. can it? i don't know. i just wonder, who knows where we'll be in the first three dimnsions in time?
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2005 3 January :: 6.42pm
:: Music: Smashing Pumpkins - Bodies
Random Moments on Random Days
So yeah, as some of you know I've finally achieved audio capabilities. Not through speakers, but instead I have headphones hooked up to the back of my computer, which means the cord isn't very long and the tower sits on the ground so the head phones dont reach my seat, so I have to scrunch up into uncomfortable positions to wear them. When I listen to all the little goodies you people send me I must do that, but if I want to listen to my beloved and dearly missed MP3's I just have the volume up and the headphones sitting on the desk and it works fine. So a certain song came on.
With that said, I thought I'd share a silly Smashing Pumpkins anecdote with all you fans out there. I'm sure some of you have heard this before, but what the hell.
So this is back when Mellon Collie came out so back in 1995.. what was I around 12ish? Anyways, so my brother had the cd and I was listening to it in my room while doing homework or something. The song "Bodies" comes on, and you know how it starts out abrupt and scratchy, well I thought my cd player was messing up his cd and I jumped up and freaked out. Then realized, "oh wait, thats how its supposed to go" Stupid little 12 year old Joe.
On a side note, while I was in mid composition of this entry I took a brief interlude to eat. While I was eating some girl called out of the blue, who normally doesn't call. So I was talking to my mom about how random it was and she says..
Aveva: "Well you know what they say..."
Joe: "What?"
Aveva: "What?"
Joe: "What do they say?"
Aveva: "OH! I dunno. I figured you knew"
Joe: *laughs* "What the hell!? You're nuts!"
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WhitePony
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2005 2 January :: 5.50pm
:: Music: Saves The Day - My Sweet Fracture
If you didn't read my last journal entry, don't read this one. So that philosophy paper that Kyle had asked me to do. The one I stressed over. The one I knew nothing about. The one I worried about because the required 5 papers fell short half a page. The one I had written despite never taking the class. Well the day Kyle took the final, the class turned in their essays and the teacher gave them thirty minutes to study. During study time the prof stopped the class, and announced that she had just read an outstanding, model paper, an A+ paper. That obviously this person had spent a lot of time and researched a lot on this paper (keep in mind it only took one day) and I guess she actually talked to him about it after class and whatnot. I was so relieved, I was worried I was going to be his downfall. Worried that he had counted on me and I let him down. It felt so good when he told me that. But on the other hand my head got really big... but who's wouldn't? I guess I can't take that class next semester.
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moana
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2005 2 January :: 7.17pm
:: Music: deftones - deathblow
salad fingers
for andy.
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moana
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2005 2 January :: 11.36am
:: Music: the strokes - soma
2005
Happy New Year, everybody.
my mom came back home last night and gave me my birthday present early: a digital camera. 3.2 megapixels, 4x digital zoom, video capabilities with complete audio (poor audio, but still). expect better pictures to come with my posts from now on.
i hope you all had a raving good new year's, i sure as hell did.
woo woo!
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moana
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2004 30 December :: 12.38am
:: Music: The Strokes - Take It or Leave It
ToTo-ology 102
Faygo is a highly toxic liquid that is fatal to the ToTo. If a ToTo imbibes said substance, its hoo-hoo will wither and die.
This is definitely fatal to a ToTo.
In case the punis gets tired or broken from overuse, a ToTo has multiple sexual organs. A ToTo is a multi-hoohooed subspecies, like an alien!
A ToTo is very sensitive to touch, but not to beating. You are much more likely to raise a ToTo's angry response by touching its hair than you are by slapping its ass. Hair-touching is a very sensual experience to a ToTo and shall not under any circumstances be undermined, elsewise a ToTo is known to scratch, bite, punch and kick in the balls. Though usually docile, adorable creatures, ToTos have been known to attack dogs. ToTos dislike dogs. ToTos dislike dogs very very much.
In a recent experiment, the ToTo has had DingDongs infiltrated into its diet. This has caused the ToTo great confusion and delight as it satisfies sweet taste buds and inflicts childish laughter at the hoo-hoo type nature of the name of this product.
The ToTo is notable for inventing more terms and phrases for sexual encounters than should be legally possible. Most prominent are hoo-hah and wiki-wiki.
[No image available at this time.]
Much like the comic book heroes of old, the ToTo has a singular weakness that renders it incapable of eating OR hoo-hahing. This is the common household product that in layman speak is referred to as 'cheese'.
In conclusion, be careful of where you touch a ToTo and what you give it to eat and drink. To win a ToTo's favour, it is advisable to give your ToTo froghurt, Pepsi (not Coca Cola) or choclate custard. A ToTo will also take doughnuts from nice Catholic boys.
This is a ToTo, this is me. Take it or leave it. If you take it, take it all and if you leave it...
Save a ToTo. Screw abstinence.
Save a ToTo. Go on a diet.
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