boricuababy
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2004 29 July :: 1.26pm
:: Mood: crappy
:: Music: Selfish-Slum Village n Kanye
i'm callin..(yea maybe i'm selfish)..out to..(i want u to myself i can't help it)..all my..(yea maybe i'm selfish)..ur my ladies and i can't..(maybe i'm selfish)..let you..(i want u to myself i can't help it)..be with no one but me baby..
o0o..thatz my song..lol..i love the video too..cracks me up..mr. bentley..lmao..anyways..wussup peoples??..nutten much here..my step daddy brought me home from work early today..im feelin to crappy..im sick..my stomach been hurtin and i have a baddd headache..i popped a couple tylenols..been layin down..now imma eat some soup..so yea im sick..i better get better by next saturday!!..lol..my sicknesses dont last long imma prolly be better by tomoro..thank god..lol..sammi left today on her cruise..shez coming back on my birthday..i havent talked to amara in awhile..i miss them..:(..we didnt get to chill as much as we had wanted to this summer..meli invited me and emir to go see the village on friday..that movie looks good..i love scary movies..but i cant go..we're gonna be busy wid gettin everything ready for the party and all..tonite china and papito get here!!..im so excited..lol..iight buddies..imma update later..x0x0
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lifesuxsodanz
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2004 29 July :: 11.09am
It's so fucking early...
Yeah well my dad decided to be a little bitch and wake me up before he left this morning probably on my mom's orders because he doesn't so much as breathe unless my mom tells him to >:o
Yeah so I of course got no sleep last night and I am quite irritable and don't know what to do with myself. Jessic'a morning does not start until 1:00 pm. *sigh*
Bah so yeah the past few days....back to my reality...my reality being eagle-ettes. My schedule is typically wake up around 2:30 in the afternoon do some stuff around the house read the english book (finished that by the way I actually liked it) then at 6 we have prcatice until effing 10:00!
Yeah so it's been going well I think. Being in charge is very weird but it kinda feels natural idk. Lauren was late on tuesday so I had to call squad and hearing 35 people jump to attention at the sound of your voice is only slightly awesome lol and no i'm not power hungry or anything : P
Yeah so we already have some drama and were already having to talk to people and be all diplomatic about things we didn't waste any time. It's all kind of stressful but in a good way because it keeps life interesting and really all I have thought about all week is getting ready for school and dealing with dance. I go home all wired and sometimes don't fall asleep until 6am and then the cycle starts over. *shrug*
Next week we are out on the football field and have to be there at 8:00 in the morning
ugh I'm jus enjoying this week while I can.
I'm still avoiding some problems at home It's so bad. It's not that I don't care I've just kind of developed this mental block that makes me forget anything is wrong. My mom's birthday kind of blew over I felt bad.
so...yeah...not much else to say
love to all
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sammibaby
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2004 29 July :: 10.30am
:: Mood: happy!
:: Music: take me away
ok, ok. i lied.
now im gonna say good bye. im leaving in a few hours. everyone is getting all worked up. so its hectic but still fun. hopefully by the time i come back i'll be tanner and my hair will lighten up. lol. i'll see you on monday with a full report. love ya! x0x0.
<3
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sammibaby
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2004 28 July :: 12.56pm
:: Mood: accomplished
re-did my woohu...
do you like??
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<3
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sammibaby
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2004 28 July :: 11.57am
:: Mood: excited
:: Music: {look at the subject line}
1.2.buckle my shoe.3.4.shut the door.5.6.pick up sticks.7.8.lay them straight.9.10.lets do it again.
yesterday was a busy day. correction: very busy day. went to exercise like usual and around 11, chiara calls me to go to the mall. but i already had plans with amara. boy, was it hard trying to fit both of them in. let me explain:
-> me and amara had no rides.
--> we were going to take the bus. so chiara and i would go to the mall and then i would be dropped off around 2:30 at amara's house.
--->amara finds out she can't ride the bus.
----> i call my aunt, she says she can take us. i had chiara drop me off there. picked up amara. and i convinced my mom to pick us up. even though we had to wait til 8.
complicated, but we managed. me and chiara were doing indian voices. lol. "my name is Kurpow and i work at 7-11. we have hot dog. you want?" anyway, she found a lot of cute stuff and we had lunch. [(switch friends)] i found a cute shirt. and i found a skirt for kaila's party. me and amara looked in every single store. it was insane. i've never been in any of them. i tried on a $300 dress, things i would never even dream of wearing. by the end of the day, we looked drunk. we even walked the mall barefoot. and cell phone service can kiss my ass. we had to walk the mall an extra time just to find service and when i did find it, i had to squat, because if i stood up i wouldn't have any. then we sat in the burdines shoe section waiting for my mom. it was a fun, yet complicated, day. while we were driving home, my mom took the liberty of telling stories of how the family loves to tease me. amara got a kick out of that.
then i got home and ate dinner. watched the movie we rented. it sucked. [Intolerable Cruelty] tried on some clothes- hoping i would have a top for the skirt. i didn't, but i did find some outfits for school. lol. then i went to bed.
and tomorrow i leave for my cruise!! i come back on monday. since i'm most likely not going to see you guys today. i'm gonna say good bye and i'll miss you! x0x0.
<3
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playmate101
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2004 28 July :: 12.00pm
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: autobiography // ashlee simpson
you can get everything you want. just work. duh.
wowzers. x posting. <3
daddy picked up dunkin donuts for breakfast. =) yesterday for lunch we went to Patillo's and man.... their food is priceless... i no longer "eat to live" i now... "live to eat". this food up here is so much better than in florida. afterwards we found lights to take home for our kitchen, which took 5 minutes. then we went to the mall. it was downhill from there.
---> went into A&F, daddy grew impatient and mommy and daddy started fighting about money again. i swear my dad is jewish. no offense anyone. now we leave the mall and come back to gail & jimmy's house. played with Casey & James some more. they are just adorable, i have pictures, and i will post them when i get home. but... then we headed to uncle critter's house. hung out with my little cousin brandon, n gave him a biggggg wedgy, and i go, "what are you gonna do now?!" and he goes, "go give auntie sherri (my mom) a wedgy." lol. anyways... we went to Ariello's for pizza. and damn that was the best pizza in the world. my dad was like, "its amazing that you can come back to the SAME place after 35 years and they still make the pizza the same."
after dinner ---> aunt maria, me, brandon, my mom, and sister left in the suburban... and uncle critter, lil chris, my brother & dad left in the mustang. well the suburban got home... but uncle critter's car didn't. turns out they got pulled over for speeding. the cop handcuffed my uncle cause he was "wreckless driving" and he got his car towed. plus, my uncle and dad both had a beer in the car, and 2 margaritas each at dinner, and my uncle's license plate was expired... geesh. my uncle was talking to my papa and goin', "if i had to empty my pockets, i would have had it in for myself." <--- implying what he had wasn't good. COUGH COUGH! lol... but he didn't get a DUI... just a speeding ticket or something and now he has to go to court. but that was his fault. ---> just showing off his new mustang. but that was the night.
today... i'm not sure what our plans are. i think i need to shower & when my dad gets home, my mom & i are going school shopping. =) bye byes xoxo
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lifesuxsodanz
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2004 27 July :: 2.04am
deep unpleasant thoughts...
so much for not hurting myself anymore...on two accounts no less. There goes my willpower : \
some things I just can't take anymore so I will go back to my old way of handling things and just try not to let it get out of control this time.
I don't know how I feel anymore so I've given up on feeling. I still don't know if finding someone is the answer to my problems I could never see myself letting anyone in right now I just feel scared and I feel like I am supposed to be alone. I truly don't know how to be any other way. don't look at me...don't touch me...it's just not good for either of us.
I had the most aweful dream...coffin being lowered feeling regret eating my words graphic and poignant nothing ridiculous like I am used to...I think I woke up with tears in my eyes.
Fuck my family even my mom doesn't want to see them anymore these days. Don't act all sweet and phony around me and then bitch at my mom behind my back for being a horrible parent and talk about how shes let me fuck up my life and I am going nowhere. And don't you fucking dare condescend to be concerned about it or me. I wouldn't even bother to see them if it was up to me so if they're going to treat me like a fucking four yr old who is too stupid to see past their bullshit then I'll make it my choice.
God just fuck people
I don't know where this mood came from. I'm not apologizing or anything I just was feeling positive a minute ago.
Interesting
I need a drink so bad alcohol can replace every emotion I am devoid of at the moment I am sure of it. I'll be happy and god knows I will want to be touched and everything will just become so clear. People will be grouped into two categories I love you I hate you nothing will hurt...its a beautiful thing.
Build me up buttercup is the best song of all time. The lyrics are so damn depressing and the song is so upbeat. It is like a stupid little girl who loves being in love even though it is terrible and painful...
and the worst of all
you never call baby when you say you will
but I love you still...
who are the people you consider your friends...what has to be there in order to call something a friendship. Random poll anyone who still reads woohu comment. There was a reason but I don't think it matters...mostly Im just curious
end
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alwaysfalling
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2004 27 July :: 1.38am
:: Mood: lonely
:: Music: postal service - brand new colony
i would love to write a nice long, interesting journal entry but i find nothing to write about, so i'll write about my weekend and some thoughts, maybe it'll turn out to be lengthy.
so we went to orlando. we being tina, her little cousins, megan and morgan, their mommy, the grandparents, and the parentals. we arrived in the early afternoon saturday and headed for the mall, only to find it overcrowded and not fun for shopping due to long lines and such. so we went to the hotel and went swimming and hot tubbing. then went to anne's more private pool at her house. swam for a good hour. tina likes taking advantage. the kids were fun. chicken fights with the girls... haha. tina got slapped accidentally. morgan and her no fear. went back to the hotel, showered and changed for dinner. went back to anne's house and got pulled over in the process. whew. scary. thank goodness for being "tourists". ate dinner, watched vietnamese music thingys, got abused by the little kids. silly kids, trying to jump on danielle's back. went back to the hotel and slept in the freezing room. interesting dream. woke up sunday to go to blizzard beach. boy was it cold in that room. got dressed and ate breakfast at perkins. people sitting behind us were muy interesante. they sounded like they had a fun saturday night. went to blizzard beach. got settled and just had an enjoyable day at a waterpark. i love disney. everything about it. especially those great looking guys in bathing suits. mmm... i'll take one of those. ate chinese food afterwards then it was back home. good times.
current thoughts:
the dmc started tonight. sadly, i watched a lot of it. listened to all of jimmy carter's speech and al gore's. i hope their optimism for the future works out cause it sure does sound like they want to make this world a better place, so vote kerry if you can vote.
thats another thing, why can't we vote? i imagine a lot of us are just as smart or smarter than a good portion of the population that can in fact vote so why not let us?
i don't get guys and their bullshit. whatever works for you. good luck in the future.
christina and i figured that i should just baby-sit kids and not parent them since i have a problem about being mean and disiplining. i will just be the favorite aunt.
i love no sales tax week and shopping in the dark except for the no ac part. dance party in the dressing room with the flashlight!!
imissyoutoomuch.
<3
not as lengthy as i would like. whatever.
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<3
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sammibaby
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2004 26 July :: 11.24pm
:: Mood: enthusiastic
:: Music: cant get no better
she works hard for the money.
i cleaned out an entire garage. from 11- 6. that's definitely 7 hours of hard work. but it's worth it, i'm getting paid.
last night, i talked to my ashley from 12 - 3 am. that was fun, as usual. then my i found my sister sleep walking and talking. that was freaking hilarious. got up today- cleaned. showered up and went to dinner. then i drove to walmart to drop off the film and picked some colors out for my blanket that i'm having made. it's gonna be purdy. ran into some friends while i was there too. drove home. and decided that it was time to take mommy for a spin. it's the first time she's driven with me. haha- she was so nervous. so, of course, i got nervous. i still managed to do well though. but one downfall is i have to get used to the dark tinted windows. i'm used to driving my aunt's car, which isn't near as dark. so being that i'm gonna have my mom's car, i need to get used to it. anyhoo, i made it home, and now she feels better about me driving.
now i think i'm going to go watch Intolerable Cruelty. or maybe i'll just go to bed? i dunnO. peace out homies. <3
<3
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boricuababy
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2004 26 July :: 4.57pm
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: Sunshine-LiL Flip
my birthday is a week from today...:D
im homeeee!!!..i just got back today..it was definately a train ride from hell..err..it was delayed frickin 2 hours..almost three..i wuz pissed..lol..the reason was "train traffic"..wutever..lol..my week in tampa was greattt..the grandparents were fun to hang out with..they spoiled us..lol..not my fault tho..we went out to eat alot..chili's, bennigan's..some italian place with the best food ever..omg...so good..lol..im glad to be back home tho..i missed my mommy..lol..and roxy..i saw the notebook on saturday!!..that was the best movie..yea i cried..lol..it was saddd..i saw spiderman 2..i really wanna see catwoman..that looks hott..and i wanna see the bourne supremacy..and i wanna see i robot..lol..therez so many movies out now..i wanna see em all..lol..gotta get started..ehh..im boredd..i just finished unpacking..fun stuff..my mom bought me a new pair of KSwiss..and she bought me new clothes..cute stuff..i wouldnt normally wear the tops she bought me..but i like them..there cute..im so ready to go back to school shopping..lol..i wanna go to sawgrass..if u wanna come with me..hit me up so we can figure something out..x0x0
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playmate101
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2004 26 July :: 11.02am
:: Mood: curious
:: Music: i got u babe
brrrrr. i'm outta florida thank goodness. =)
heyyy people. updating this journal from ---> chicago =)
we got here sometime around 1pm yesterday. the flight was smooth. we got off... got our luggage after waiting awhile cause the luggage door was stuck & they couldnt remove the luggage from the plane. grr. but papa picked us up & we went to Nikobee's for lunch. i coulda gone for some traditional real white castle, but eh... w/e. then we went to grammy's work & looked at houses to buy. we found one we really liked, its 2 story with a basement n its b-e-a-u-tiful. i shoulda took pictures of it, but i left the camera in the car. anyways... afterwards, we went to visit uncle joey & everyone. it's chilly up here. nothing like florida. everything is made of wood & bricks... it looks like the 1970's all over again, and it felt like it too when papa was playing his oldies music in the car. but yeah.... so we went to uncle joeys... i saw little milly & maddy all grown up, they're like s0o adorable & they look like twins.... then there is matt who is 16 & acts like my brother. i find that sick, but i talked to him & his friends for awhile... i didn't find out the name of the cute boy cause he was kinda quiet, but there was courtney who is carls girlfriend, which sux cause carl is cute hehe. but matt.... idk he's like my brother... the pictures make them look cuter than they really are lol. anyways stacey should be coming home 2night or 2morrow. so i'm excited to see her. omg lil' brandon = adorable.... but he has this obsession with pitching butts. kinda scary. he pitched my butt like a million times... n it hurts lol, but he is so cute. n lil' chris is adorable too. & he's sweet & funny. auntie mary & chris are funny as hell. aunt paula is kinda weird, but she is sweet. anyways... i'm sitting here on the computer cause i am waiting for my mom to finish getting ready before we go pick up some starbucks & head to pick up auntie trixie & go to portabello's for lunch =D i just lost a ton of weight from cheerleading and i get to gain it all back. ha. nice stuff. anyways.... it is an hour earlier here than it is over by u guys in florida. =/ but i have to give jonah a call tonight, and ashley.... ur letter is in the mail <33 o it doesn't look like i can go to hollister to shop..... its farrrrr away from here. in the woodfield mall which sux. o well <3 hope u enjoy the rest of ur humid summer.... cause the rest of mine is gonna be kinda chilly, and we don't even know when we are going to be leaving here... just praying i will be home on the 7th for the orientation. <3333333
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lifesuxsodanz
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2004 26 July :: 12.09am
god free will sucks...
Sometimes I wish I was compleately driven by animal instinct (tho I am my fair share lol) but seriously I am the most aweful person at making decisions. It all comes back to my rear of regret thing....no matter what I decide is wrong and it gets to the point where I don't want to move...I'm afraid to breathe for fear of some miniscule movement reaking havoc on my life. It's like the chaos theory a butterfly flaps it's wings and a hurricane blows a hemisphere away, small things have great effects and each of us is a microcosmic universe, and sometimes it seems that the simplest of sentences, a few mere breaths of dialogue can send entire planets spinning out of alignment.
But really the analogy makes perfect sense...every move we make somehow brings us closer to our own entropy you cannot escape it for every imaginable thing is a decision even if it really is as simple as the decision to stand still. And the worst part about it is...we know we know what is to become of us we know that we have options to weigh and risks to assess and it kills me (well metaphorically) making decisions terrifys me making a move of any sort and sometimes I think this decision to spend my life indecisive is the most wasteful contribution to my own entropy to my own death. I am wasting my life away and driving myself insane compleately utterly insane if you have read this far you should understand that by now. If you knew what this entry was really about you would tell me I was stalling and being indecisive and most of all you would tell me that you didnt see what one thing had to do with another and that god knows how my mind makes such connections and I dont even really know myself. Im just blindly typing in order to keep myself moving I have more thigs to say and more important things to be concerened with but for some reason this is all that is comming out maybe this is the easiest of my problems and I am making it seem bigger to take my mind off of theserious. Ok I am going to go and I am going to...idk of course i dont but I am going to stop this that I know.
end
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sammibaby
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2004 25 July :: 11.35am
:: Mood: flustered
:: Music: they
this a lot harder than i thought it would be...
i can not, i repeat, can not find an outfit for kaila's party. i have looked up and down the entire mall, even went in stores i normally wouldn't. maybe amara will open my eyes to something on tuesday? hope so. it's cutting it close though, especially being that im leaving on thursday. i'll try and be optimistic.
anyhoo, on friday i went out to dinner with some friends at T.G.I. Fridays. it was fun, we realized guys arent gentlemen. or should i say we were reminded. went back to chiara's house to look at pictures. danny showed off, i shot him down. sorry kid, just hadda do it. then, chiara wanted to sign up for her SAT and ACT..and for some reason i have to be there. lol. well, we couldnt remember our user name, so we had it emailed to us. but we also forgot our password. not olny that, but the answer to our security question. so i think we have to start all over :(. the process is soo long. she drove me home and saw my room. she liked ;). and shes scared of harely. lol. she left around midnight. it was a good night. oh, and i finally saw zoolander. it had funny parts. but i was expecting more. i think i should stop expecting stuff from movies, becuase whenever i do, it never happens. lol.
------------>f.y.i. i drove in the dark, on a road, with cars, by myself. only about a mile. but i was proud. :D
then saturday, i went to the mall with my sister. made some exchanges. shopped. didnt find a thing. ate some lunch in the food court. later, my aunt met up with us, for back to school shopping. still didnt find anything. so we stopped looking for us, and got some baby clothes for my other aunt's new baby. [they live in japan.] the clothes are so adorable. i picked them all out. i have decided that im going to have one cute baby. i picked out their future outfits. lol. then i drove all the way home. :D about time right? yeah, a little more of this and im on my way to the licsense!!
today, mommy is taking in 3 rolls of film for me! yay. pick them up on tuesday or something like that. and i dont have to pay. :) tonight, i think im gonna go out with some friends. in the mean time, im gonna go lay out. or if the sun decides to hide, i'll just chill inside.
adios amigos. <3
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lifesuxsodanz
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2004 25 July :: 4.25am
DELERIOUS!!
Updater™
Your entry is as follows:
Today was really awful.
I got out of bed really early because my mom was yelling at me.
I feel sad, because Sarah and Britney are complete bitches. They told everyone I have an STD, just because I slept with both of their boyfriends on Saturday night.
I'm so sad. My kitten got run over this afternoon. I found him when I was coming home from school. His head was all squished. I took some photos. I'll miss him. Poor kitty.
Last night I had to masturbate twenty times. I'm so horny. Click here to see my website.
I want to tell the world to get fucked.
I am updating this journal for the first time in ages, because I've been in prison.
I want to say thanks to the world for absolutely fucking nothing! You all suck. I feel so alone, no one ever reads this journal, or even comments to let me know that I'm not suffering alone. It's cold here, and I want to die, but I cannot figure out how many of you to take with me when I go.
I went to the doctor yesterday, and he said I have bipolar disorder, which makes me different enough to be interesting, but the same as all the other cool people with bipolar disorder.
its 4 in the fucking morning and if you possess half a fucking brain cell u should have figured this entry out...
That's enough for now. But I'll leave you with this thought - sharing your life with strangers on the internet is the cheapest form of therapy available. Leave a comment and tell me I'm beautiful.
Created with the Gregor's Semi-Automatic LiveJournal Updater™. Update your journal today!
Powered by Rum and Monkey
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playmate101
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2004 24 July :: 11.44pm
:: Mood: rejected
:: Music: la la // ashlee simpson
you make me wanna la la in the kitchen on the floor. <333
today was the last day of cheer camp. awesome fun. talked to mike this morning, n worked on stunts most of the day... um... i didn't do much of anything else. we threw mike up into a basket toss... which i have a picture of. haha. and then for lunch, karen, me, brittany, michelle, heather & angie decided to get some chili's for some drink stealin'. lol. umm... then, we finished up practice & i finally got home.. and packed & jackie came over then i showered n we headed to the mall. afterwards we came back & ate some food & doug called jackie. since he had nothing to do, we picked him up @ taco bell... after jackie wanted to repeatedly take left's lol. umm... so we all came to my house... jackie hit doug in the eye with a marker & we laughed at dead baby jokes... which was filthy. doug beat me up with my pillows... & ummm we just had fun talking. but yeah... that was my night, they just left like around 11:40 which was like 5 minutes ago. and hmmm. now i am talking to jonah, who is now going out with whitney = awwww <3 congrats. but, i need to wash up & get my rest so i can sit on the airplane for awhile. ya know... i'm not sure when i'm coming back... but i have a performance on the 7th so my dad wants to leave like... the 5th s0o we can be home on the 7th? idk but its bedtime now... and if carol gets me my dooney & burke purse, i willllllll be happy for the next... month. who needs a boyfriend if u have clothes & purses? lol <3 bye byes
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lifesuxsodanz
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2004 23 July :: 2.32pm
Nice Day...
This morning I had to get up early cuz I had a doctors appointment . I swear to god my mom said I had to leave at 8:45 but she really meant 8:15 so I had 10 minutes to get up and get dressed. Yeahhh so afterwards we were near west palm so we had breakfast in the most adorable place ever it was this artist's cafe and they had little tables with cool antique furniture and art all over the walls and art books everywhere and we were practically the only people there.
Afterwards we went to city place just as the stores were opening and it was really quiet. I did some major shopping it felt soooo good. I got the prettiest outfit from white house black market and another shirt along with earrings and shoes to match. They were having a really good sale. I love that store everything is so classy and elegant I wish I had an excuse to dress up all nice everyday. I'm going back for my homecomming dress.
Then I went to macy's and got these BCBG capris that are dark red (of course) and a couple of really cute shirts. I also got one of those chunky plastic bracelets to go with the outfit I had bought earlier. idk my mom was in a really good mood this morning for some reason.
Yeah so then we came home and I played with all of my clothes some more and my mom left for her doctors appointment....I hope everything is ok with that : \ don't really wanna talk about it...
anyway just another pointless entry
love to all
~*Jess*~
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sammibaby
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2004 23 July :: 11.53am
:: Mood: bored
random quizzes..enjoy.
You've Been Bit By the Shopping Bug!
You're constantly adding to your wardrobe - and it shows
However, you can show some restraint. You love good deals.
Your love of the clearance rack has paid off...
You probably have only maxed out card or two, if at all!
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Are You a Shopaholic? Take This Quiz :-)
Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.
You are a Blanced Babe!
You're direct and to the point, but never dramatic
You've got the confidence to speak your mind to anyone
But you leave the theatrics to Hollywood
Level headed and emotionally stable, no wonder everyone loves you
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Are You a Shopaholic? Take This Quiz :-)
Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.
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Not a Jealous Bone in Your Body
You're secure, trusting, and giving with friends and lovers
And while you may have been hurt before, you've bounced back
You're generally happy with your life - and no one's grass is greener than yours
One word of caution: some may see your lack of jealousy as indifference!
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Are You Jealous? Take This Quiz :-)
Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.
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boricuababy
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2004 23 July :: 10.39am
:: Mood: smiley
:: Music: Toss It UP
i'm coming home on mondayyy!!!
hey buddies!! hope everybodyz enjoying themselves and having fun!! i miss u all..:(..wen i get back we gotta chill..emir sent me this really cute email..sayin he misses me and all..he apologized too..so thatz straightened out..i dunno if i mentioned this..but i found a dress!! itz really pretty..a really light blue..itz long..to the floor long..tz hard to describe but itz so0o pretty..it's a lil dressier than i has wanted but i fell in love with it..lol..i bought shoes to go with it..so im set..my mom already made all the appointments..hair appointments..nail appointments..all that good stuff..i finally convinced my mom to let me get acrylics too..i cant wait till the party!!..itz gettin closer n closer..:D..so yea i get home on monday..in the afternoon..we're takin the train..which sucks..i didnt like the train last time we went..oh well..alrighty guys!!..talk ta ya so0n..x0x0
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playmate101
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2004 22 July :: 9.03pm
:: Mood: sad
:: Music: surrender // ashlee simpson
open up your eyes, don't u know u only get one life.
cheer camp was eh. but omg omg. i got my backhand spring on the cheese mat, by myself & 2morrow the dude from UCA is gonna help us with tumbling... i hope i can get it on the floor with a spot. =D i'm so intimidated with all the other girls' skills though. gosh, jealousy.
when i got home, i went straight to bed. i couldn't even bring myself to the bathroom to shower lol. but when i woke up, that's the first thing i did. =D
so my mom was talkin' to Cheri Hood from work. & Cheri was talking about how spoiled i seem because when i work... if there is nothing to do, i rest my head on the counter. & my mom was telling her to just tell me to get to work... but shit.. i work harder than half those people there... plus i got shit outside of work that i do... i won't dedicate myself to that fucking place. w/e.
so i'm thinking about going to get therapy. i don't think i can do this alone anymore. i hate sitting in camp or practice & getting those looks like "who wants u over here?" and stuff. idk i gotta find my independence in this world because i have this feeling that i'm bound to be alone. like... i don't even have a shoulder to cry on. whatever.
<3
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sammibaby
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2004 22 July :: 6.05pm
:: Mood: high
:: Music: material girl
who loves shopping? sam loves shopping. i do, i do, i do0.
woke up around 10:30 and was told that i'd be left home alone. i was fine with that. but then they(mom, dad, and reece) decided to take me with them. thank god i went. we first went to the jewelers because my mom had a credit. she got a tri-gold chain, its really pretty and my dad got his wedding ring sized. and this is where i fell in love. with a bracelet that is. its gorgeous..white gold butterflies/flowers with diamonds. only problem- the price tag read $495. so im putting the beg on for my birthday. ya never know. then we went to the mall. got 2 Guess shirts, a jean skirt, and a black XOXO purse from burdines. a white Billabong belt from pac sun. and a shirt from express. so yeah, i did some damage. had some lunch in the food court. then it was time to head home. went to exercise at 4:30.
im gonna go now- eat, shower, and such. we're gonna rent Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen. x0x0.
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<3
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playmate101
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2004 21 July :: 10.26pm
:: Mood: hyper
:: Music: love makes the world go round // ashlee simpson
when you say love makes the world go round. ---> my broke heart has no f*ing use.
....today i woke up at 9ish... somehow i ended up in my mom's bed? perhaps i was sleep walking... i do not know. but anyways, i threw on some clothes & went to the mall. my mom got her haircut & while she was doing that my sister & i walked around the mall. i finally got the ashlee simpson cd. its hot shit. some songs remind me of hilary duff though. =/ n other people say it reminds them of avril. *shrug* whatever.
so when i got home... i talked to jonah over the phone... and then... got off the phone with him & fell asleep. the stupid thunder & lightning woke me up. then later... our new suburban rolled up in our driveway. damn its so hot that i just wanna hump it lol. its like... got a dvd player / tv with wireless headsets to listen to the sound. then we have XM radio, on star, we are getting limo tint 2morrow & when we get back from vacation my dad is buying 24's for it. awesomenesssss! omg it is so hot. so we took it over to my mom at work, and of course i got to drive, and like... mike came out with my mommy & him & i talked while mommy checked out the suburban. omg awesome. n then... i came home... then we ran out to get wendy's but i didn't eat. wasn't hungry. then i came home & watched simple life two. omg i love that show, holy shit. u f*ing rock, lol. u silly bitch. that's hot. XXX. omg baseball players are f*ing beautiful and like.... i want them so badly. nicole reminds me of my attitude.... not nice. o well. haha. i love paris. she is so cute. anyways i gotta get to bed, 2morrow is our first day of camp. haha! woot. only laura, chelsea & nikki aren't going =/ o well, me, michelle, n karen n angie will have fun. <3 bye bye
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<3
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sammibaby
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2004 21 July :: 10.18pm
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: dip it low
just got home...
from a wonderful night with amara. we saw The Notebook and may i say a.m.a.z.i.n.g. i loved it. i want/will own it when it comes out. i didnt cry like people told me i would do, but i did tear up a lottt. just go see it if you havent. other than that me and amara just caught up with eachother and looked through magazines. or as this random guy said, "forget it. they're looking through bitch magazines." whatever..lol. i missed her! it was definitely nice to see her again. hopefully it'll happen more often though.
im out. gonna call chiara. ttyl. x0x0.
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<3
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lifesuxsodanz
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2004 21 July :: 4.43pm
:: Mood: happy/tired
Interesting day at the beach...
So Jimmy and I actually went to the beach today I didn't think it was gunna happen for some reason idk, but yeah it was nice seeing him since I haven't since the last day of school and it was also nice not having to sneak around in order to hang out like we used to.
Yeah so he came to pick me up and calls me halfway into my neighborhood to tell me that one of my neighbors up and died or something and there was like 2 ambulences in the middle of the street and he was all pissed off. For a split second when he said one of my neighbors was dead I thought he meant that there was just a dead guy in the middle of the street and he was calling me to bitch instead of calling the cops. lol c'mon it would have been a little funny. Then it got me thinking that like, what if we treated people who get hit by cars like roadkill. No one goes a picks up dead ducks off the road what if they just left a person in the middle of I-95 to just keep getting run over....I'm sorry those are sick morbid thoughts that shouldn't amuse me so much. Oh yeah and he also forgot all of his pictures from Europe to show me which was like one of the main reasons we were gunna hang out today lol.
Anyway we chilled at the beach for a while there were no waves whatsoever and the sun would only stay out for like 10 minutes at a time but it was fun watching jimmy's attempts at skimboarding especially when the water was so still. He kept falling on his ass and asking me how it looked like it looked any different each time it was pretty entertaining though. He was like yeah i'm gunna teach you now and he kept trying to get me to do it but after seeing what a dumbass he looked like I decided to pass, plus i'm sure if I fell at least one half of my bathing suit would have fallen with me and there were like 3 guys right near us watching lol. We started talking about our plan again to take a roadtrip through Europe together when we graduate it will be so great if we actually pull that off.
We were leaving when we ran into Jimmy's friend Barret and some chick I think I knew in middle school Barret wanted to try out the skim board so we hung out with them for a little bit before attempting (and yes i said attempting) to leave.
Yeah so we decided that the day world war III breaks out Jimmy and I are going to be hanging at the mall or something because us together is just the worst combination for bad luck. He goes to the beach all the time but today was the ONE day he had to lose his keys in the water. We ended up sitting in the back of his truck waiting for his dad to bring a spare for almost an hour. It was pretty funny actually.
Yup so he brought me home and got all molested by my dog lol and now I need to go eat something and take a shower so I'll write later.
~love~
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<3
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sammibaby
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2004 21 July :: 12.16pm
:: Music: gett his party started
everyone seems to be doing the
1. i prefer being called sam
2. my eyes are hazel, and they can change color
3. my middle name is ann
4. i do have curly hair
5. i have one brother and one sister
6. my favorite color is purple
7. i love monkies and butterflies
8. i love hugs and kisses
9. i hate when people judge me
10. i am a procrastinator
11. i am out spoken
12. im very independent
13. i enjoy alone time
14. but i also love being with people, even if we dont do anything
15. i will do almost anything for friends
16. even if i dont like it
17. my parents alomst divorced and my dad moved out for a week
18. i was forced to visit
19. i wanna go to UF
20. not sure if i wanna be a lawyer or a psychcologist yet
21. i am smart, im just lazy
22. i dont like people who are concieted
23. i love to help people
24. i like photography
25. i am a shop-aholic
26. i'd rather have a few good friends than a lot of 'ok' ones anyday
27. one of my interests are in archiology/geology
28. i love drawing
29. yes, i did have a piece in a museuem. but i was young.
30. i took dance for 6 or 7 years.
31. ib forced me to quit
32. i really dont think ib is THAT bad
33. i think since we all procrastinate- it makes it suck.
34. i will stand up for whatever i believe in..no matter who you are too
35. i have never tried drugs or smoking
36. i hate hilary duff
37. you could say i have a very messed up family
38. my grandpa passed away a day after my birthday. RIP charles
39. a good friend of mine was murdered because an idiot thought he was gonna rob his house, but yet, he answered the door and saw him running away. RIP mark
40. who answers the door for a robber?
41. i have 6 nationalities: italian, trini, irish, german, english, and venezuealan.
41. i love being girly
42. but i also like acting like a boy at times
43. food is a passion in my family
44. its one way we show that we love eachother
45. we now own a motorcycle
46. im attached to my cell phone
47. i do like taking care of myself--no im NOT superficial
48. i dont like people who think theyre better than ohers
49. i feel bad for nerds
50. i have never seen snow
51. i have never been out of the country
52. im extremely organized
53. its one form of therapy for me
54. i always write when im upset
55. to relax myself i like to burn candles and listen to the ocean
56. i like all kinds of music- for the most part.
57. i love being stupid
58. and i really love it when other people are stupid with me
59. i dont worry about the future
60. i try to be very positive
61. i swallow a lotta crap people do to me
62. when im really pissed, i hit things..but not people.
63. i like dancing in the rain
64. i think a family is very imprtant in a person's life
65. im mature for my age
66. i am a bit of a perfectionist
67. i think the beach is a great place to be when you need alone time
68. i think im cinderella
69. i adore the mountains
70. i love animals
71. i go away every summer with my aunt and uncle..along with my brother and sister.
72. i do not know how to do laundry
73. baking is another way for me to relieve stress
74. and its also really good
75. i have a banking account
76. i tend to take care of people. kinda like a mom would when theyre little
77. im not a morning person
78. i really like english
79. i actually like going to museuems
80. i think dinosaurs are cool
81. i fear sharks and dark bathrooms (dont ask)
82. i hate coffee
83. i scare very easily
84. i shake while i laugh
85. and i squeak
86. i can be very gullible
87. i was a girl scout when i was little
88. i used to live in coral springs
89. i was a safety patrol :(
90. i freak out when i see bugs
91. i hate complainers. people need to be more grateful
92. i think if people were to look at the good things in life insead of all the negative, they'd have less stress
93. nor would they get depressed as easily
94. i think people should always take responsibility for their own actions. you cant blame any one but yourself
95. my last name is hum-phrey not hump-free
96. i dont like crying, therefore i rarely do. unless the time calls for it
97. i like making people happy- even if i have to make a fool of myself
98. i dont like video cameras
99. and i do take pictures, just not by MYSELF
100. i never thought i'd reach this point.
wow. im def. done. x0x0.
<3
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boricuababy
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2004 21 July :: 12.49pm
:: Mood: lazy
:: Music: How Do U Want It??
it's still raining...
still wid the grandparents..nothing exciting has really happened..the rain makes me sleepy and i'm feelin lazy..it's 12 something and it looks like itz 7 p.m outside..i've been sleeping in late..that only adds on to the laziness..i'm bored..home alone right now..jon is over my aunt stephanie's house..he went there last nite to hang out with the kids..everyone else is workin..tonite we might go to the movies..prolly to watch spiderman 2..i told nico i'd take him to see it..so i feel bad..i'll take him wen i get back..this weekend im going to hang out with kristina and her friends..they're koo..we gonna go to busch gardens..hopefully this weather clears up by then
<3
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playmate101
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2004 21 July :: 1.07am
:: Mood: accomplished
:: Music: she will be loved // maroon 5
100 random things that i bet you never knew about me...
1. people can explain my feelings better than i can.
2. my middle name is Kristine & i wish it had been my first name.
3. i don't mind Briana, but i love when people call me Bri.
4. shopping, cheerleading & talking to boys are my only forms of therapy.
5. i love my friends in many different ways, yet, i couldn't categorize any of them as my best friend because they are all amazing.
6. i hate people who talk a lot about shit that i technically don't care about.
7. music is my comfort and i love to write my own lyrics.
8. but i would much rather be an actress because it has been my dream since day one.
9. i think that god punished me in 5th grade with chicken pox because i believe that if i didn't have the scars now, i would be too pretty for my own good.
10. my prettiness would bring me fame and things, and i don't think god wanted to put my family in the spotlight.
11. i rarely find myself being insecure, but everyone has their insecurities.
12. i'm really not ready to announce this... but i have tried to follow the tactics of bulimia and aneroxia.
13. solemnly believe that i didn't do it because i am uncomfortable with myself... but i've done it because i get caught up in believing since i am skinny, i should be that way.
14. this summer has been the worst for me... my cat was put to sleep, my boyfriend broke up with me, my parents have been threatening to send me away, i have indulged in eating disorders, and i am going to a new school ---> hopefully to find that friend connection that i've been dying for.
15. i am sickeningly independent on the inside.
16. i don't depend on boys, because they come and go, and i believe i'm decent looking enough to have enough confidence that i can find more.
17. i'd rather hang out with a buncha guys anyday, i find it hard to make friends with girls unless its a group like nikki, chelsea, & michelle who i can just be crazy with & stick together.
18. i'm horrified of alcohol & cigarettes, and i don't wanna be peer pressured into trying pot, just because i might give in and i don't want to.
19. my mom smokes cigarettes & i want to puke everytime i think about it, but my dad does pot with his friends.
20. i'm not afraid of the future... i just don't wanna grow up, i like being 16.
21. my family prefers that i was 4 years old again, because i was much easier to deal with.
22. but my dad's anger reaches so high towards me these days that he enjoys throwing objects like forks to my tummy & remotes to my head, only to say a weak, unacceptable "i'm sorry" to me afterwards.
23. i believe in fate and that everything happens for a reason, and you should never attempt to bring your past into your future... there is no need to let history repeat itself.
24. mr. g taught me that.
25. i loved him, along with mrs. stoughton, they got me to enjoy eighth grade.
26. i'm not conceited, just very comfortable with the way i look and act... i blame jonah for that lol.
27. i get eager to say "i love you" to people.
28. so don't be scared, i just like to say it, in hopes i can hear something meaningful, in response, coming from people's mouths.
29. i've only been jealous of britney spears, & the hot people of hollywood, because i could have had that lifestyle, yet i am so in denial.
30. nobody loves me the way i want them to, but i know, that doesn't mean they don't love me at all.
31. personally, i don't think people should have regrets.
32. i dream so much, that i could stay in bed all day & think about doing so many enjoyable things, and be happy the rest of the day, because i can pretend like i did them.
33. i get cold very easily, same with being hot.
34. i can't be mean to ANYBODY, but there are people that i just don't like, yet they have no clue because i am sweet to them.
35. i don't like when someone i care about is even slightly pissed at me.
36. i get nervous, my hands shake, and i tend to throw up.
37. politics confuse me, so i tend to not listen to them, i just want to vote for president and be done with it.
38. half of the time, i forget who is running the country anyways.
39. i don't believe in a family... technically, you are forced to live with strangers from birth & you grow up and learn about them & are forced to say you love one another because you live with them and they are labelled as family.
40. but what if you were too busy being punished and hurt to get to know your dad?
41. i am ashamed of my dad because of his temper, my mom = because she smokes, my sister because she snaps back, and my brother because he is into drugs and is wigger - ish.
42. i love my dad because he has given me so much, but he's too busy to give me his time. my mom, i love her because she will do anything for me and i can spend time and talk to her. my brother, i love him because him and i can be stupid without fighting. my sister, because she n i are just wonderful together.
43. i procrastinate, and i tend to not get things done, but i always seem to come out as the over achiever... or just on top.
44. what i wouldn't do to be a top priority in someone's life.
45. i admire --> britney spears, mariah carey, whitney houston, my mom, carol, eminem, ryan, & jonah.
46. i want two kids, but i can't see myself being married.
47. i pretend to be spoiled, but i'm not.
48. always found that school was a waste of my time.
49. tend to learn more reading and doing the work at home than in school.
50. i fear nothing but death.
51. it's not that i couldn't handle IB, i just wasn't comfortable there, at atlantic.
52. i adore sleep, but i can't stand sleeping in my own bed. but i have my teddy that i ALWAYS sleep with.
53. i'd rather sleep in someone else's bed, just because it's not "mine".
54. i wish to attend UCF because of cheerleading... and psych. and hema and jonah.... etc.
55. for some reason, i'm not eager to find a guy to love me, like everyone else is in dying need to feel a guy's arms around them.
56. the best way to ruin a relationship is to rush into one and start it off.
57. i know this is none of your business, but my period is irregular because of how fast my body weight changes.
58. i love the feeling of being alone and independent.
59. i have so many hopes and dreams but none of them have ever came true...
60. deep inside, everyone is the exact same... and that's how i know i can relate to everyone.
61. i grew up wayyyy to fast because i've always hung out with older people.
62. i miss bret daniel.
63. "she will be loved" by maroon 5 is my latest favorite song.
64. i've always wanted to have sex with him, but because we broke up, i'm glad i didn't.
65. i don't know if i can wait until marriage, but i'd love to.
66. my favorite words in the world are: fruit, doushe bag, and kinky.
67. i never realize when i'm being taken advantage of.
68. this 100 thing is getting harder than i thought.
69. i've always wanted green eyes, but lately, i'm thinking twice about them.
70. i love collecting and counting change.
71. but i don't like the way change smells & how it leaves your hands smelling.
72. i never liked taking pictures until i saw the ones that brittany took of me back in December 2003.
73. i wish danielle & brittany didn't have to grow up. i'm still ready to make more franklin tapes & water balloon fights...
74. if i ever get a boyfriend, i want to go out and have fun, but be able to hang around the house during the day & watch movies and munch, plus it'd be nice if he became friends with my parents.
75. i will never forget when brett came over and watched football on t.v. with my dad a few years ago.
76. with the millions of guys that i have went out with... i've always seemed to have had... MY heart broke.
77. somehow i am still standing here today... and i'm not depressed and i don't have suicidal thoughts. i've had my heart broken... more than 11 times.
78. i love listening to other people's problems, but i feel guilty when i don't have any advice or any comments, i just like listening.
79. i miss my cat. and when my dog goes away... i'll miss her too.
80. ever since the day i was born my cat was in my life... she was 18, and had the same birthday as me.
81. ...my mom has the same birthday as me.
82. my cat was my only comfort.
83. i feel helpless for my mom... i want her to be happy & active like she used to be. work wears her out.
84. i think the weirdest things are hot.
85. i love my feet.
86. and my tummy.
87. you don't have to tell me twice... i have a big apple bottom, and if i sit on you, and you become a pancake... i'm truly sorry.
88. i don't like to read. i want to read, but unless the author puts the middle of the book in the beginning of the story... i won't enjoy it.
89. i don't think i would have a problem putting in contacts because i always touch my eyes, and i don't even blink, nor is it complicated.
90. i do love the ninety's.
91. my favorite numbers are all odd. 3, 19, 21, 69, 91.
92. i love accessories, and my favorite one would be either bracelets or purses.
93. i would die for a yorkshire terrier.
94. if someone tapped my butt repeatedly when i was a little girl... i would fall asleep.
95. there are such things as miracles.
96. i wish nobody had to die.
97. you are my support.
98. he has made me a better person, and i can't explain how much thanks i have for him and how much respect i have for him.
99. cheerleading is my anti-drug....
100. and so are you. i love you.
good night homie. xoxo <3
<3
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sammibaby
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2004 20 July :: 11.59pm
stole from kaila
| Basics | | Name:: | samantha aka sam aka sammi aka..... | | Birthdate:: | 12.o3.87 | | Age:: | 16 | | Birthplace:: | coral springs, fl | | Eldest, Middle, Youngest, Only Kid?: | eldest | | Family:: | mom, dad, sister- alex, brother- reece | | Pets:: | my baby- harley | | Life | | Do you go to school:: | yes..ib nerd | | What is your highest level achieved?: | 10th grade | | Religion:: | catholic | | Do you have friends?: | yes ma'am | | Do you like to be lonely?: | no..who does? | | Appearences | | What color are your eyes?: | hazel..but im told they change | | Do you like it?: | yes | | What color eyes do you want?: | mine are good | | What color is your hair?: | dirty blonde | | Do you like it?: | yeah.. | | What color do you want?: | a little lighter than it is | | Do you dye your hair?: | nope..all natural | | If yes, how regularly?: | never | | Do you wear glasses?: | nope | | Do you have a trademark?: | my eyes, the whole butterfly/cinderella thing is catching on though lol | | How tall are you?: | 5'2" | | What's your heritage/nationality?: | lol..italian, trini, irish, engish, venezuelan, and german | | Do you have the same hairstyle everyday?: | no..thats boring | | Do you think you look exciting?: | i guess/hope so | | Are you self concious?: | yeah :( | | Do you obsess over your looks?: | not obsess..but i can be picky | | Do you even care about your appearences?: | yesss | | How long do you spend in the bathroom?: | well, to get completely ready about a half hour | | About life... again | | Punk/Goth/Ghetto/Prep/Jock/Nerd/Other (list)? stereotype?: | i dont really fit into ONE category | | Do you pick your nose? In secret?: | no.. | | Do you like yourself? Life?: | for the most part | | Are you liked by people?: | i think so | | Do you want to become famous?: | no, just rich lol | | Do you want to make a difference in this big world?: | yeah | | Why?: | i just think some major changes need to be made | | Fun Stuff | | Which celebrities do you worship in secret?: | not really...maybe..i dunno | | Blues/Rock/Jazz/Classical/Pop/Urban/Country?: | urban | | Are you one of those people who diss fans of a music genre you don't like?: | no. i hate when that happens | | Which pop princess shits you?: | shits me?? | | Can you sing?: | i sing when im alone | | Can you act?: | depends when... | | Who is your fave actor?: | dont have one | | Fave movie?: | dont get to see enough movies to have one | | Backstreet Boys or Nsync?: | backstreet boys! lol | | Good Charlotte or Blink 182?: | good charlotte | | Christina Aguilera or Britney Spears?: | christina aguilera | | Slayer or Black Sabbath?: | huh? | | The Beatles or The Monkees?: | the beatles | | ABBA or the A Teens?: | a teens | | Guilty pleasure?: | dipped strawberries..cheesecake | | The Simpsons or Family Guy?: | never saw family guy.. | | MTV... yeah or neah?: | yeah | | Friends | | Do you have a group of friends?: | yes | | How many?: | well..i have 2.. | | To an onlooker, what would your group be viewed as?: | craazy, fun, loud, probably think we're high lol | | Who are you closest to?: | kaila, amara, amy, carlos, chiara, lisa, sameen, ashley | | Who is your best friend?: | didnt i just answer that? | | Are any of them bad influences?: | no..well maybe amara..jk lol | | Who are you in your group? The leader? The leader's bitch? The follower?: | hmm..dunno..both leader and follower | | Are you dirty minded?: | heh..i admit it | | Do you have any sexual feelings towards friends?: | no.. | | Generally, how are you viewed in your group?: | oh, im loved. | | Do your friends know you?: | i'd say so | | Relationships: | | Are you single or taken?: | single :( | | If single: | | Do you want to stay single?: | no | | Why are you single?: | how the hell would i know? | | Do you date around?: | i go out..but nothing serious | | When was the last time you have a bf/gf?: | :(..a whilee.. | | Life... yet again. | | Are you bored?: | sorta | | Can you play any instruments? Which ones?: | nope | | Math or English?: | english | | The Arts or Sciences?: | arts | | Technical or Creative?: | creative | | Are you poetic?: | can be | | How many babies do you want?: | 2 | | Do you spend most of your time on the net?: | depends what im doing | | What do you think of your country's leader?: | i dont think he's that bad | | Do you love me?: | sure.. | | Why?: | you took up my time | | What kind of meat do you like to eat?: | chicken | | What's your favourite food?: | chicken parmesan | | Drink?: | sprite | | I'm bored now. Wanna stop?: | yeah | | Because I am. |
A long survey to do when you are bored brought to you by BZOINK!
<3
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sammibaby
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2004 20 July :: 11.23pm
:: Mood: dorky
:: Music: scandalous
OH MS. KAILAAA----
what do you want for your birthday?? i was thinking of that while watching tv..so i decided to put it in my journal. and i know you read it..so i'll be waiting for a reply!!
x0x0. love you!!
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<3
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sammibaby
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2004 20 July :: 7.53pm
:: Mood: relaxed
:: Music: get out
relaxation is my new favorite thing.
it turns out i left my camera in chiara's car and she still hasn't returned it. so obviously, i haven't developed them yet :(.
what did i do yesterday? hmm..oh yeah. i cleaned. still working off the bill- but i might ask for the money so i can have it for the cruise. and then start working again to pay her back. i also need a real job. im looking at panera bread so far... who knows...
----> speaking of the cruise. my family finally told my great grandma that while we're gone, she's going to go to a home. [she can't take care of herself] heh, what happened you ask? she's extremely pissed. which i knew would happen. so yeah, she refuses to go and pretty much wont talk to anyone. i have no clue what's gonna happen. hopefully they can think of something.
today, i just cleaned some more. my grandma came over and dropped off our boarding passes. she hung around for a bit, but then she had to leave. my mom made curry chicken. [from the new cookbook] it was good..needs to be more spicy though. but i liked it. she was happy that it came out right. and my dad is all happy because this is the kinda food he grew up eating. pretty much everyone is happy with it. lol.
now im gonna go. ttyl. x0x0. <3
<3
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lifesuxsodanz
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2004 20 July :: 12.56am
:: Music: beach boys-wouldnt it be nice...dont ask
this is one of those entries you shouldnt bother with...
well...I'm kinda idk what I am I'm just updating senselessly this is really mroe a rant for livejournal but I already updated that...
I read the notebook and I have to say I was disspointed as hell. Nicholas Sparks is a terrible author and reminded me of why I lean towrds the classics and modern english writers so much...americans authors suck these days they just keep writing crap and people read it thinking it is quality and they make lots of money off of amature level work. I men seriously I could have written some of that crap. He wrote an book entirely devoted to a love story which is risky because it has to be a damn good story to keep an audience intrigued, but not only that he wrote of these two lovers compleately driven by passion who were compleately complacent. He rushed through the conflicts of their youth compleately unceremoniously. You get no true sense of how deeply in love they were and the heartbreak they went through in each other's absense becuase he just fumbled through the entire backstory giving it to you reluctantly in bits and pieces in some attampt at literary device gone compleately wrong. The whole story was cheesy and the characters unconvincing in general. Books are supposed to sweep you into a new realm of reality to the point where you can believe anything they tell you because it is just that well written.
But yeah back to the complacency thing...one of the great paradoxes of life is that the greatest love stories are those arising from intense passion, but passion...is fed by strife and tragedy. There is heat there is anger there is nothing passive about it. Yet in the book when Allie is about to leave Noah for her finace after spending like 2 days of amazing sex together he just says ok well yeah I get it see you later. Nobody passionately in love would let them go without a fight. He wrote them with outside conflict keeping them apart which is good but there was no conflict within their relationship no heat nothing to fuel the passion he was insinuating. I don't think I am explaining this properly and maybe it was just me but...idk the movie was better and it's sad when the movie is better than the book it originiated from.
I never thought I could make it as a writer because I have yet to achieve that depth and richness in dialogue and character and plot development. It is always too simplistic and predictable and the only aspect of my writing with any possible merit is in descriptiona nd word usage. But apparantly that is enough these days so maybe I have hope yet.
I was so meaning to write about my weekend but bitching about retarded things comes so much more naturally to me
oh well...I'm a loser it's ok
~love~
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