blondie17
|
::
2005 17 March :: 8.49am
oh wow.
it happened
now that worry is setting in
stress get off of me!
we kissed.
im scared
im happy
AHHHHHHHHHHH!
WOOOOHUUUU!!!!!!!!
feedback
|
stinko
|
::
2005 17 March :: 7.55am
back to back we stand back to back
gaaaah!!!!!!!!!
perhaps this is where i have been dreaming of.
1 comment |
feedback
|
onceagainistandalone
|
::
2005 16 March :: 7.25pm
i this update by writing about everything thats bad or worng. then i deleted it all.
but now i don't know what to say really.
its alot easier to write about the shitty stuff.
i just want to come home. but im used to that by now.
to whom it may concern:
i miss you.
love,
matthew james hinton
1 comment |
feedback
|
|
blondie17
|
::
2005 16 March :: 11.56am
:: Music: the used
my stupid poem
Head over Heals
Understanding the nothing that is there
wishing that something was more than whats intentions are trying to make it.
Screaming through an invisible sound proof wall
wanting that nothing to be something
to catch me when i fall
Yet warned again then falling fast, faster than just nothing
this is something
reading wrong whats been prescribed...overdosing, to find that
hidden cry
Nothing is what is there while somethings what I crave
standing alone yet again someone else will get what i want
ill begin to fade
always finding that middle ground, im a friend, only what you want
isn't what ive found
Overbearing signs that scream deaaad END! In wich i only yield.
then being alone wishing for that nothing to be something
i know is real.
falling over the mountain for you
head over heals.
feedback
|
|
stinko
|
::
2005 16 March :: 11.57pm
:: Music: clicking noises im making with my tongue
one whole week of not being crazy!
hurray for me!
and i still have a smile on my face. perhaps i should have tried this much sooner.
4 comments |
feedback
|
|
blondie17
|
::
2005 15 March :: 12.22pm
:: Mood: envious
:: Music: johnny logic
why cant i just get someone that i am attracted to. to like me like i like them?
Nothing more : By Casey Volkers
THIS is just the beginning of a long un-traveled path
A path that I’m not sure my amateur mind can handle
A path that a match could begin, that then turns into a forest fire
A tornado that will feed off of others accomplishments and fade when its destruction has left many alone, and empty
THIS is not what I can begin
Loneliness for so long
Open heart, broken heart, open mind now closed
THIS is a path I know I’m not ready to emerge upon
How can what I want be so god damn hard to ask for?
How can I want something that I know is wrong to want?
THIS and this alone may ruin my inner ambition of love
Wrong time, right person? Right time…wrong person?
This might be too hard. Just friends…Stop! Just friends
Nothing more.
feedback
|
|
stinko
|
::
2005 15 March :: 12.18pm
we are so cool
throwin down rapper style
what what
one day our cookie parties will be bomb!
3 comments |
feedback
|
|
blondie17
|
::
2005 15 March :: 9.40am
i dont know what to do. ...i dont know if telling him would jepordize our relationship. pretty sure he already knows i like him.
feedback
|
|
blondie17
|
::
2005 15 March :: 9.23am
well im falling for someone...whom im supposed to be "just friends" with. how can you be just friends with someone you are attracted too so much? i can tell. hes almost an exact replica of weston, just so much better. god. He does all the music stuff. hes attractive. he is nice. we are friends. we dont do ANYTHING, accept hang out and cuddle. I FRICKEN JUST WISH THAT FOR ONCE WHEN I LIKE SOMEONE LIKE THIS IT WAS RECIPROCATED. i FEEL LIKE FUCKING SHIT! i FEEL LIKE A CRAVING LONELY GIRL WHO WILL NEVER GET WHAT I WANT. you know im starting to think i dont deserve anything that i want or work for. i am not good enough to get what i want EVER! whenever i think somehting is going good, it turns around full circle and becomes shitty.
1 comment |
feedback
|
spud
|
::
2005 14 March :: 11.52pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: Pillar - Fireproof (c'mon, i'm trying to stay awake)
well. i like lime coke. and i like liquorice altoids. but not together. thankfully, salted peanuts are a marvelous palette cleanser.
really, i wanted ice cream. what the fuck. but i know that would put me straight to sleep.
i'm such a lazy ass loser. i'm still writing my term paper. oh well. it'll get done. and it'll be kick-ass. i'll just be dead until spring break.
i've had worse...
4 comments |
feedback
|
|
onceagainistandalone
|
::
2005 14 March :: 7.17pm
to my dearest troy
You're cold with disappointment
While I'm drowning in the next room
The last contagious victim of this plague between us
I'm sick with apprehension
I'm crippled from exhaustion
And I dread the moment when you finally come to kill me
love,
matthew james hinton
feedback
|
happygolucky4646
|
::
2005 14 March :: 1.06pm
:: Music: Norma Jean ~ Face:Face
Leech with two daughters.
Give give they cry.
Her name is, she is a liar.
I refuse to be hers.
A kiss from her is one of the grave.
Bullets by her mouthfull an enemy at the six.
She simply will not die.
3 comments |
feedback
|
|
spud
|
::
2005 13 March :: 11.14pm
:: Mood: grateful
:: Music: Windows Media Shuffle
This weekend was good. but yet again, i didn't get jack shit done. and i won't tonight. and i won't tomorrow. but i actually - come to think of it - did quite a bit this weekend. just not enough. oh well.
maybe someday i'll get off of this damn computer and catch myself up.
in the meantime, though, i can wakka wakka wakka to entr'enet pron.
Bands // Song Titles | Created by BourdiezFreak and taken 23176 times on bzoink! | | Choose a band/or artist and answer only in song TITLES by that band: | Barenaked Ladies | | Are you female or male: | What a Good Boy | | Describe yourself: | The Humour of the Situation | | How do some people feel about you: | Never Do Anything | | How do you feel about yourself: | Too Little Too Late | | Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend: | Maybe Katie | | Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend: | Alternative Girlfriend | | Describe where you want to be: | In the Drink | | Describe what you want to be: | Second Best | | Describe how you live: | Intermittently | | Describe how you love: | Great Provider | | Share a few words of wisdom: | The Wrong Man Was Convicted | Create a Survey | Search Surveys | Go to bzoink! |
2 comments |
feedback
|
holiday
|
::
2005 13 March :: 8.59pm
:: Music: Nekromantix- What's on your neighbor's bbq?
Well. Sometimes I just don't know what to do. But that is life, right?
I just can't wait to get out of this place/work routine. I am beginning to like it, but usually 2 months into a job, I start wanting to leave and getting lazy. Eh. We'll see. I'm doing well right now. I can't wait till I can move out.
2 comments |
feedback
|
|
onceagainistandalone
|
::
2005 12 March :: 4.20pm
i said what i said that id tell ya
sometimes..
i just end up in these situations.
call it impulse..passion..whatever.
but it takes awhile before i realize i don't know what i've done.
or what i may have overlooked in process.
im sorry.
on an unrealted side note, my dryer sucks. laundry day takes all day. all day where i sit around in pajama pants unshowered because i have no clean clothes. it sucks.
feedback
|
|
onceagainistandalone
|
::
2005 12 March :: 11.14am
sleeping makes my back hurt
i need a new bed
and a personal massesuse
love,
matthew james hinton
2 comments |
feedback
|
|
holiday
|
::
2005 12 March :: 1.53pm
:: Music: The Mars Volta
I was kind of let down with The Jacket. The ending was kind of crazy and just thrown out there. And some things were just stupid.
feedback
|
|
blondie17
|
::
2005 11 March :: 11.56am
i wrote a great poem about love lol. i wish i would have brought it to school so i could write it. i think im finally getting in touch with the i hate the word love phase. lol. ill write it on monday.
feedback
|
|
stinko
|
::
2005 11 March :: 11.05am
oh how i love naps.
it is like an escape from time. or really a jump to a new time.
when you wake up you have jumped into a time in space as if no time had passed.
sleeping is so wierd like that. it's like no time passes, but really hours have.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
5 comments |
feedback
|
|
spud
|
::
2005 10 March :: 10.41pm
:: Mood: pensive
:: Music: BNL - (WMP on shuffle)
well, i almost feel like i got a little bit done today. but, then again, maybe not. i don't know. i never know. i really like musical, though. it's much better being in the pit now, than when we were just aimlessly rambling in the band room. i feel like i have a direction and a goal now. not to mention it's just fucking sweet to be sitting in the orchestra pit. and there are all the actor girls to lavish me with attention. it's just flippin' sweet.
i've decided i love my dad. but i still feel so dependent on him. it's pathetic. i use mom for her money, and dad for his philosophical enlightenment, and i feel guilty for both of them. and mom usually does a good job of nullifying any of my philosophical breakthroughs, so really all i wind up with is her money, and incessant bullshit. but she does it with the best of intentions. we always do - everyone does. i hate being this way. and i don't know how to be anything else.
i honestly don't care whether i find a sudden tolerance for my situation, or find a way out of it, but either way, i'm ready for something to happen. and i don't think it will. but i really don't know. i still haven't figured out how to see the future yet. but when i do . . .
shit, i'm tired. yet another night wasted away without doing calculus. i'm such a whore. but i feel good anyway. i just feel guilty for feeling good, when there's all this stuff to feel bad about. it's like i'm not being true, like i'm ignoring it when i shouldn't, and that makes me feel guilty. like i'm just sucking up all this attention and money and love, and just leeching it out, to seemingly no productive end. and that aggravates me. i'm not that kind of person.
is it ever going to change? yeah. i think so. maybe.
2 comments |
feedback
|
crazygirl
|
::
2005 10 March :: 1.31pm
i'm so fucking tired of people twisting my words around.
what the hell is so fucking wrong with telling the truth?
1 comment |
feedback
|
|
blondie17
|
::
2005 10 March :: 11.38am
i just want to cuddle. cuddleing anyone?
3 comments |
feedback
|
|
stinko
|
::
2005 10 March :: 10.59am
:: Music: nora jones
we're gonna be alright
people do look better with smiles on their faces.
it's good to know that someone else notices when you're smiling.
:)
2 comments |
feedback
|
|
onceagainistandalone
|
::
2005 9 March :: 7.21pm
yep.
fell off a truck today.
sprained my ankle.
3 hours at the hospital because thats how hospitals are.
no work for a bit, and i can't afford that because they don't pay me for not being there
what can ya do.
please, for me, be safe when you are securing shovels in the back of a truck..because you never know when you are going to try and tighten a strap down only to find that its not hooked to anything and the vigor with which you tightend the strap propels backwards over the edge of the truck, causeing you to hit the edge and flip over the side five feet down to the pavement and sprain your ankle. so, in conclusion, its a dangerous world folks, so safety first, always check that your straps are securly fastened before you yank the shit out of them. thank you.
love,
matthew james hinton
3 comments |
feedback
|
|
spud
|
::
2005 9 March :: 6.06pm
:: Mood: subdued
i've been so emotionally volatile lately, it's rediculous. i just get so furious at the drop of a hat. i haven't been like that in a long time.
i guess i'd just spent so long using her as a crutch, to regulate my anger. if i ever got angry at someone, i could stop it - for her. now i can't do it for her anymore. and there's nobody left i can stop it for. unless they're right there. she helped me keep my cool even when i was 300 miles away, and she didn't know i was mad.
god, i'm pathetic. it was really nice talking to jessie, though. i just wish we could've had more time, and a more comfortable place to relax. but hey, beggars can't be choosy.
i have noticed that lately. suddenly lots of girls are giving me lots of attention, and that's something i haven't experienced in a long time either. i'm not sure whether the attention had stopped, or whether i just didn't sense it, but it's back in full force. which MAY be a good thing, but i'm not sure. i think it's a good thing. i always liked that. having girls around that i could be friends with, and not have any sort of romantic involvement. the only problem is, i remember how frustrated i would get - being surrounded by all these hot ladies and wanting to devote myself to one, and i couldn't. it was somehow extremely lonely. even if i never was really alone. i don't know. right now it's good, though. right now i don't NEED to devote myself to any of them. well, i shouldn't say that. really, i devote myself to all of them. i guess it's just not in the same sense. now i'm just rambling. all i really wanted to talk about was how i've been losing my cool lately, and that's just ... uncool. so, hopefully i'll manage to find a way to do better with that.
7 comments |
feedback
|
|