lifesuxsodanz
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2004 13 May :: 11.14pm
Seniors last show tonight....so sad I can't imagine life without them. A bunch of alumni came got to see Ashley and Jenna again that was nice.
Michelle picked me and lauren up from school we went to my house to get ready lmao I love listening to them fight...
michelle: " I TOLD you 4:00 we HAVE to leave now!"
lauren: "buddy why the hell are we leaving a half hour early u can speed and get us there in 15 minutes?!"
michelle: "If your not a half hour early youre a half hour late!"
lol she was busting out with the soccer mom quotes all nite...."shut the door hillary what were u raised in a barn?!"
got to the show 35 fricken minutes early went to starbucks....frappacino was a bad idea before dancing.
Danielle and Heather showed up which was nice. Dances...looked like shit o well me....sick and naseous and dizzy uggghhh lol thought I was gunna puke on the audience.
Mad weirdness everywhere....alberto and alejandro came alejandro was with sum other girl....francisco was there I havnt seen him since our drunken makeout session on danielles couch almost a year ago....lol he didnt come over when the twins did....there was other weirdness too crazy nite.
Didn't go out to dinner cuz it was just the SENIORS lol I see how it is. They had to discuss banquet and who is getting what position and whatever other suprises they have planned...secret stuff psh.
Some weirdass spanish guy called a couple times...claims I met him and gave him my # a few weeks ago I don't remember...his voice sounded like I had heard it b4 tho....idk he freaked me out a bit.
Cleaned out my locker today had to carry so many books like a true IB nerd lol thank god german was by me in the hallway when I was tryin to make it to north lot after chem.
Chem was actually pretty fun we had a sub...ignored the work played cards bonded as a class lol exciting shit.
TWO MORE WEEKS!!!!! TWO MORE WEEKS!!!!!
~fuck yeah~
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dmlxoxo
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2004 13 May :: 7.44pm
quiz
MARCH:
Attractive personality.sexy. Affectionate.Shy and
reserved. Secretive.
Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves
peace and serenity.
Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily
angered. Trustworthy.
Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and
assesses others.
Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves
traveling. Loves attention.
Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home
decors. Musically talented.
Loves special things. Moody
What does your birth month say about you?
brought to you by Quizilla
almost all true. im a typical picies...coulda told u that one.
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dmlxoxo
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2004 13 May :: 7.33pm
:: Mood: relieved
:: Music: love song for no one- john mayer
global is over thank god----no more textbooks dominating my life :) :)
There's a secret romance blooming!
Go for it, in spite of your hesitation.
Lucky Numbers: 10, 14, 41, 44, 45, 46
its weird how this makes sense and i got it. i was planning on meeting jeremy this weekend but was kinda thinking nah, im too nervous. this was the little bit of encouragement that i needed. how kickass would that be if that fortune was accurate? chinese people at tasty house give out good fortunes.
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spinoangel
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2004 12 May :: 8.07pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: american football - "never meant"
i only write about bad days and bad feelings, because that's usually the only time i need to vent in my journal because i'm tired of venting directly to all my friends. its a lot easier to just talk to myself than try to bring up my personal problems in everyday conversation. no one has to read it... it's just me being my moody self. k? yeah.
it's over. it's all all over. thank the lord. and i feel sooooooooooo much better. greta's dad is very generous. greta's sister is funny. i love greta. thanks for a nice winding down.
<3
sigh. great times from here on out.
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alwaysfalling
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2004 11 May :: 11.07pm
ap tests start in eight hours. don't forget your stickers!
i'm out. going to watch peter pan preview on the love actually dvd just because i love it so much.
imagine a world like nothing you've ever seen where everyday is an adventure, a world where you'll never have to grow up or grow old, come with me, all you have to do is leave home behind but you can never come back...
<3
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spinoangel
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2004 11 May :: 4.37pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: ben jelen - "falling down"
can i just go to sleep and never wake up? goddamn i feel like i'm being crushed with metal plates... physically AND mentally. it hurts so much, and i feel so tired i just wanna lie in bed and be a vegetable. walking home, i felt like i was gonna collapse in the hot hot sun.
why cant we just do this shit without studying. i need rest and relaxation but noooooooo.
mmph. i hope these feelings go away for friday.
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lifesuxsodanz
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2004 10 May :: 11.43pm
:: Mood: BAH
i should be in bed or doing my daybook or studying...bah
I have summeritis I'm just stright up choosing not to do assignments anymore. Its not like I'm evern forgetting about them I just remember and say...fuck it I'll turn it in late. BAH
today me n danielle colored in stats I was the coloring book Nazi and didn't let her give up. It was mad retro cool (lol made up that new phrase for manda) lyk kindergarten all over again...JB knew his disney fairytales a tad too well for my liking....Dr. Baum made fun of us : P
Today was my captain audition and laurens...I'm so glad it's over with. Basically I had to choreograph a minute long dance make up formations and then teach it to the whole squad in only 45 minutes with no help and all of the seniors being obnoxios. They were really ridiculous thank god lauren went first. I wanted to cry they were so mean to her. Danielle actually brought her pet ferret and had the coaches EXTREAMLY annoying 8 yr old son logan release it in the middle of the dance room so every1 freaked out and nobody would listen to her. lol Dicillo eventually calmed everyone down and made the seniors stop so Lauren could finish.
I think mine went a bit better which suprised me. I knew what to expect from the seniors so it wasn't as big a deal. And I didn't run out of time or anything and everyone said they really liked my dance. Nicky said her and a lot of ppl she talked to gave me perfect scores on my evaluation sheet...idk Allison Britt and Charde still have to go on wednesday. We all know we are getting the top five positions we just don'n know in what order. It would be ridiculous for anyone but lauren to get captain since she is the only senior so I'm basically just shooting for co-captain. whatever I'm glad its over now I just have to wait until sunday @ the banquet to find out.
I called michelle when I got home and we talked for a long time...lol she wouldnt tell me what my score was tho which pissed me off....shes supposed to be my informant!! we took some online tests and found out that we are very much certifiable alcoholics and if they are at all acurate....we might need some help lol. fuck it I love life, and if that's living...so be it.
BAH more homework to do...jus checking in
~much love~
Jess
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dmlxoxo
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2004 10 May :: 5.25pm
:: Mood: sleepy
:: Music: jimmy mathis- bubba sparxx (awesome song, u should dl it)
"then whats left of me, ill give to you?"- j.m.
its kinda sad. usually, i see this as such a secure relationship...someone i know i can always rely on, someone i see as one of the best people i know, someone i know who accepts my flaws and even when i act stupid and weird will be laughing with me, not at me- but lately this security hasnt been there. i feel like i went to sit down in a chair, but before my butt actually reached the seat, someone pulled the damn thing out from under me and now im sitting on the floor with nothing...by myself. every weekend we used to hang out, just do nothing, sit around and watch tv, go online, bake stuff. we havent done that since the week before april vacation. i used to get calls from her all the time, but now when i call her mom goes: hi! [that i havent spoken to u in the longest time voice], hang on a second....its danielle! [talking to her] remember her? i just feel like her time has been consumed with all this stuff lately, not that i can blame her for that, but she hasnt had any time---literally. she does stuff with other friends on weekends, but i dont go....3 movies in a row and i havent been invited to one. actually, i take that back, i was invited to the last one, but i cant help but think that the only reason y i was was because she was talking about it with someone in front of me. when i come to school in the morning, shes always off on her way with her morning posse to her class...today she didnt even stop to say hi. i walked over to her talking to someone she spends a lot of time wth now and stood there hoping, wishing she would say hi....NOTHING. when i make weird comments, which i am known to do, she no longer makes the wtf faces at me, she makes them to other people, in a mocking way. and although i know its just kidding, it hurts to know that shes not making the faces at me. shes doing it to someone else now. this has happened before, and it always hurts the same...ive been the most loyal friend there is- even when she didnt want to be mine. there just isnt any time for me any more. i cant talk to her about it, i just cant, i would start crying...its happened before. i dont want my best friend slipping through my fingers like this...i miss those blue cupcakes.
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alwaysfalling
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2004 9 May :: 11.53pm
this weekend was enjoyable.
friday - dinner with the whole Kwan family at buco di beppo. <3 them mucho. then, movies with tina, adam, and tina's mom. saw mean girls and boy were those girls mean. slept over tina's house.
saturday - ate leftovers, kept myself busy while tina studied watching tv and going online, did tina's hair, laughed, danced, had fun times getting dressed-up. boy do i love her. came home and cut the grass because i was so happy.
sunday - did pretty much absolutley nothing much of anything. washed the floors and straightened up mi casa for my mom, a little cinderella action, while the boys just sat around and did nothing. threw away all of my stats stuff, talked to my aunt, tried on my dress for my aunt and little cousin, sat and looked at the yearbook with my aunt.
aunt jenny: you're right, the senior guys are much cutier then the sophmore guys.
i ate a lot today. i love food, such a chub.
two ap tests this week on the same day!! ugh. and ms.french thinks we are coming to class that day... heh.
try to enjoy this stressful week, the end of it shall be wonderful.
love to all.
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bocaheath05
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2004 9 May :: 3.45pm
i'm so random today
HandOfDoom21: hows it going heahter
iluvBITP: weird, you just signed on and i'm listening to satellite, i believe thats the song you played for me on the phone
iluvBITP: and im sick and am horse and i sound like a hooker man
iluvBITP: whatcha do yesterday?
HandOfDoom21: hahhaha
HandOfDoom21: you should get that fixed
HandOfDoom21: go to the docs
iluvBITP: like phone sex man
iluvBITP: all i know is that i keep blowing my nose in the same napkin and its small and wet
flirtygrl202: i used adams deodorant.. i smell like a man
iluvBITP: ahh we're so random
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lifesuxsodanz
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2004 8 May :: 10.19pm
:: Mood: fat
I'm fat
ugh just got back from carrabbas, good food, too much....ughhhh. Oh well I've decided to eat up until summer (A) because I have no one to impress and (B) my mom flat out told me I was going on a diet this summer.
Today was tiring. I had to be at tryouts at this morning all the seniors set up and lauren and I led warmup. Me and Jenn were in the 2nd group so we got it over with right away, my audition went really good I nailed both of my switch leaps and the guy judging from southern just kinda stared in suprise for a sec. Afterwards Shersty drove me Jenn Brittney Rolle and Rashunda to dunkin doughnuts to get some FOOD. yay for food!
Then we came back and Michelle was the senior in charge of watching the ppl outside so I had her fill me in on everything I'd missed from the night before. I was kinda glad I didn't go because it gave michelle a chance to have more fun. When I'm there no matter how drunk she is she is so paranoid about me and who is keeping an eye on me and all the boys (lol) that she doesn't enjoy herself. Whatever will I do without my legal guardian.
Then FINALLY they were done tallying up the scores and announced who made it. Then they announced the top 5 dancers. Guess who got number 1??? thas right yours truly I got the highest score outta like all 50 people trying out. w00t!!!
Thennnnn michelle and I headed to the mall in search of last minute mother's day presents. I came home took a shower talked to heather and danielle and then we went to target for sum shit...saw my half cuban bro there (armando for those who don't know)...then we went out to eat.
Heather and Amy are fighting, it saddens me. lol I know I always preach to heather but hopefully some of my advice is somewhat helpful. I don't like seeing her go through the things I have gone through but it is an inevitability. Close friendships are like relationships they take a lot of work, unfortunately sometimes they are just not worth the effort they require and it's nothing that can be helped. I hope that is not the case with amy and heather.
I want this week to be over...banquet is next sunday I cant wait. I get to find out what position I got next year but I will surely cry during senior speeches.
Once the AP government exam is over I can relax a bit until finals....not that I have started studying or NEthing : \
~I love~
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lifesuxsodanz
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2004 7 May :: 11.24pm
I couldn't tell you how today was, I'm so tired I guess it is for the best that I couldnt go to that beach thing with Michelle and Danielle and the applebees crew. Yeah they were having a party at the beach all night along with Gary's guitar and all the leftover alcohol and such...would have been nice I do love the beach at night. Oh well I hope they all have fun without me....my parents continue to suck.
Tryouts in the morning I'm so nervous....not.
I am nervous for my captain audition which is on monday. And the Government exam on wednesday.
I'm sorry everyone I have things to say but nothing seems important right now, I can't stop staring at the wall.
...you wish you knew what CHUB was
~Jessica~
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boricuababy
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2004 7 May :: 6.29pm
:: Mood: hyper
:: Music: dickey ride..
wooooooooooo...im feelin madd hyper..i dunno why tho..lol..today wuz a good day..and imma have a good weekend..lol..psshh..studying for examz and all..x0x0
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alwaysfalling
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2004 6 May :: 11.11pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: third eye blind - semi-charmed life
Sophomore year is coming to an end, 15 more days of school left. It makes me go through a whole bunch of different emotions. At first, I'm happy... 2 years left, we are half way done and I'm so very satisfied with the past two years. Then, I wonder about those people leaving and become saddened. Those people leaving, they aren't just those friends... the ones leaving are my family. Briana, JB, and Ashley Cline. My memories from my teenage life so far come from them mostly. Briana... she's my sister, the one that became my friend in Ms.Barbose's class in 6th grade, she's the first one that took in my funky personality. We both have learned so much from each other and have been through so much together. I believe though that our friendship is able to with stand anything. I know 5 years from now when she is cheering in college, I'm going to go and see her and cheer her on. Then there is JB... that boy that gave me my first kiss, let me know that is fun to be friends with boys, he's leaving and going to grow up and be such a wonderful man and person, he tells me not to worry though because he will always come down to my house and visit me. Lastly, there is Ashley Cline, that girl that became one of my best friends in school during the past year, the one I have experienced so much with, I'm scared to see her go, I will miss everything that she has to offer. I can't wait to be able to visit her in Tally though. I like the person I have become with the help of these people and others.
I miss spending time with my family. My older cousin still isn't talking to me and she just moved back to her home in North Florida and is not coming back next year to Palm Beach Atlantic most likely. =( I miss her. I know it is my fault for all this and it's just... sad. Who knows, maybe during my brother's graduation, when they are all down here we'll make-up.
I'm tired of living at home, but I'm sure most of you know that. My dad works til 11 every night since he is teaching the afternoon and night class, the only time I get to see him is when he drives me to the bus stop in the morning when I'm not in the mood to chat that much. My mom refuses to take her thyroid medicine and everyday she comes home and is tired and worn out and ends up just falling asleep and leaves me and my brother to find whatever we can to eat, which leaves me in charge since my brother has no clue. And when she does wake up she is irritable and then my dad comes home from work and is irritable too and then they argue. Next year I imagine it will be worse, but thankfully I will have a car. My brother is leaving in less than a month, for a pretty long time and I will miss him dearly. He's my brother, that guy that when I was little, beat me up and teased me, but we grew up and he is weird but I still love him so much.
I wish my bruises would go away, they still hurt when I touch them and they make me feel insecure with a big mark on the side of my arm. I wish I had someone to kiss and hang out with. I wish summer would come now, so I can forget about school and just have plain fun.
peace. <3
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sameen
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2004 6 May :: 7.43pm
Was up?
Today was all right. Chem, the power was out, so we all gathered our stuff and went by the cafeteria. It was nice. Nice change of pace. Just sit and relax while working on those stoichiometry problems that I just live for. Ceramics was boring. We just helped set up 4 the show tonight and I glazed my project. I like spending lunch in Morone. I duno why. It's nice hangin out wit that group of girls. There's just all good feelings between us and it's just chill. Listenin 2 random Disney songs and sharing eachother's food like when we were little. English was all right- took our vocab quiz and read a story. Mo's done a really good job wit the analysis stuff. Finally.I mean before all we learned was vocab and we read shit but we never did nething 2 understand it. Definitely gotta do that daybook 2 bring up my grade. I did well on my poetry anaylsis tho- 98. I needed that. Even PETER said it was good, he was like- I didn't know you were smart. If I'm not mistakin' I think that's a compliment ?? Spanish was all rite- nothing special. I think she's a nice lady tho. She's a stickler 4 the rules, but nice. I probably just said bad things about her just cuz I was bitter about my B, but it's all good- rite? Not good 2 hold onto things from the past- especially when u can't do nething. Worrying, complaining, and just being overall pesimistic will only have you going around in circles- you're not gonna get anywhere with it. I mean, don't keep it bottled up, but time could be more well spent just doin something else... working harder to correct the screw up. It's good 2 remember ur past, but work towards the future. Anyway, stayed after school 4 Art tutoring. We did multiple based slide questions, I did pretty decent, I got 25/35. Which is a C average. I don't think that's that bad, especially after getting 35 wrong outa 85 or 84. Then I helped Mrs Howard wit the Art Show setting up. I figured what was the point going home if only 2 came back in 2 hours, especially since I know it's not my mom's favorite thing 2 drive around town(s) so much.
I dunno y, but I just like being by myself. I dunno if that's just weird but I do spend a lotta time by myself. I think I'm not a type of person who depends on other people 2 make myself happy. I think it's cuz when you set expectations for other people, and they don't meet them, u just get let down. And frankly, I'm tired of bein let down. I dunno realizing this makes me lucky or just makes me look at the world ina bad way. But, I just hope I don't end up alone one day.. like I'm about 2 retire but I'm all alone. I think that's one of my worst fears. And dying.. and no one missing me. I hope when I leave this world... some part of me will live on and some sort of legacy will continue. I just wanna be a good person. I think the happiest people aren't necessarily the richest people. It's like that story we read in English about how one guy killed himself for one reason [I dunno y ] and the other killed himself cuz he "had everything" I dunno, just my thoughts. But I just wanna work hard 2 get 2 the places I want 2. Working hard makes you feel good about yourself, it really does. It makes you feel accomplished, sure u get tired, but that's what "life's all about" right, working towards perfection?? Or at least being happy with your imperfections- but hey, I never was settler.
All right.. I'm out.
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