the end is the beginning is the end

the end is the beginning is the end

:: 2004 14 May :: 3.18pm

ARABIC BEEBOL!
You are an Arab if...

1. You say "bolice" for "police" and.
2. You inherited or will inherit land in your home country.
3. You brag about your kids even if they are bad.
4. Your spouse is also your first cousin.
5. Your dad eats mensef with his hands and forces his son to "join the men."
6. You're fat and blame it on the kids, or you're bald and blame it on the
stress.
8. Your aunt asks you when she can dance at your wedding.
9. You smoke as if it were your last day on earth...and you only
smoke MARLBOROS.
10. You wear more cologne than deodorant.
11. You pronounce "comfortable" cun-fort-a-bull.
12. You say the letter "h" like "etch."
13. You put olive oil in and on everything and brag about how healthy it is.
14. You gossip about your own family...with members of your own family.
15. You have more then 4 kids.
16. You eat humus at least 4 times a week.
17. You cook a meal that lasts 3 days.
18. You talk crap about the abeed, but love them when they buy from you.
19. At parties, you think it's cool to dance and smoke at the same time.
20. You pity anyone who is not an Arab and think all other cultures are morally
corrupt.
21. You have fruit trees in your backyard and when they are in season you live
on them.
22. You don't use the word "tease" in English cause you feel weird.
23. You watch the hell out of the Arabic channel and talk crap about the rest.
24. Your father swears at you with words that effect himself.
25. You have 500,000,000 cousins.
26. At weddings it takes the bride and groom 4 hours to kiss all the guests.
27. You "get down" from the car instead of "getting out" of it.
28. You act like you want to pay, but in reality you hate to pay.
29. You have a gold necklace of your name written in Arabic.
30. You own and/or play a tubleh
31. Your middle name is your father's first name.
32. If you are male, you're named after your grandfather or great-grandfather.
33. You play cards till the break of dawn.
34. You never run out of bizzer.
35. You can't have a meal without bread.
36. You get offended when Americans call Arabic bread "Pita bread,"
37. If you are an Arab woman, you dye your hair an obviously fake shade of
blonde that is nonexistent in nature and swear that it's natural.
38. You feel proud when someone famous or a celebrity has any Arabic blood in
them.
39. You teach your American friends Arabic words (mostly bad ones) and get
Happy when they use them in normal conversations.
40. Your Mom has a creative nick name for you like Susu, Natoosheh, or
Tuntooneh."
41. You have a difficult Arabic name so you come up with an Americanized
version of it like "Sam" or "Mike."
42. You have someone tell you your fortune through your coffee cup.
43. You love Um Kalthoom and if you don't, your dad makes you listen to her and
tries to translate the words into English so you can appreciate her as much as
he does.
44. Three or more relatives live in your neighborhood.
45. If you're a single Arab guy, you tell women you're a "successful
businessman" or that you "own a successful business back home" even if you're
an unemployed goat herder.
46. Your favorite food is warag dawali, but you are embarrassed to tell your
friends that you eat leaves for dinner.
47. You get really happy and call the whole familyto the room when there is a
special or documentary on Arabs or anything Arab-related on CNN or PBS.
49. You have a uni-brow...and if you don't, you pluck it.
50. You bump Arabic music at all times!

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WhitePony

:: 2004 12 May :: 5.46pm

Bear with me... my computer broke

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moana

:: 2004 12 May :: 12.31pm
:: Mood: *cough*

right. so i went to the doctor's this morning, missed most of first period, drama. after that was over, i don't really remember much of the rest of the day. my motor skils waver and i tend to be more giggly than is appropriate. i managed to get through the day, though, with only faint memory of being unable to tie my shoe. by physics, last period, i had managed to calm myself and sober up. doppler effect can do that to you. i left physics, feeling a lot better, but still somewhat unbalanced. leahy gave me grief for inapropriate behavior *shakes head* and i've been hearing stories about lunch that i simply do not remember. after school was... interesting. all i wanted to do was lie down and weep. but i didn't picked myself up, plastering myself over everything that had ap enis, and some things that didn't *coughCATHYcough*. andy noticed, but blag got a kick out of repeating "you're high" at every chance he got. it bothered me, but he didnt stop no matter how many times i denied it. how i wanted to beat him, but something about my shoes and i can't remember how to tie them... so yeah... we went to the roof, we started kissing, then he stopped. he said it wasn't such a good idea. he said he didn't want me to do anything i'd regret. he said he didn't want to take advantage. i felt sick and started shivering when he told me all that stuff. how was i supposed to feel? irresponsible? high? weak? maybe i was supposed to feel grateful? so thankful for my noble boyfriend who wouldn't take advantage. i didn't really feel that way. i was just kind of angry at him. so i said "forget it," pickedu p and walked away. he followed, we sat, we watched the plays, we laughed. we flirted, tickled one another, but he knew i was hurt. he caught me staring at him once and when he turned to look at me i didn't look away. he tried to joke, said "you look freaky" but i didn't say anything. i jsut turned to face the stage and kept my mouth shut. i was silent the way i knew he expected me to be. if i was happy i was high, if i was sobered i was still high. so i kept my mouth shut. i regret that now. whatever though, too late. i jsut wish people could put some faith in my ability to decide. it's not like i'm insane. AC pissed me off too. she took me aside at lunch, telling me "what the fuck are you doing? you're acting fucking insane!" i wanted to beat the shit out of her. i remember that. so i avoided her for a while, but i had class with her next. it's jsut been a hard day. i had to keep yelling at people i wasn't high. they must have thought i was kidding. it doesn't matter anyway. so i got a little uninhibited, so i have some major memory gaps of the past few days, i don't care. i jsut wish people would stop acting like i'm incapable of doing anything for myself. i'm not on drugs, i don't need you to take away dangrous tools from around me. maybe i'll expose myself a bit, but i won't do anything i'd regret. it's hard to get people to see that sometimes.

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moana

:: 2004 10 May :: 11.07am
:: Mood: *deep breath*
:: Music: the strokes - someday

sometimes, sometimes...
life is good. the weather was shit today. is it weather or whether? i've NEVER been able to keep them straight. like is it camel or dromedary with two humps? whatever, i forget. the point is, life is good. and the climate sucks. i wanted to have a pool gathering this wednesday at my house, but now i have PMS and no motivation. so i'll go to barney's drama thing afterschool. i remember last year when i had to perform those horrible one act plays for drama/speech 1. i had the lead, opposite zeina. and cathy was co-lead (?) opposite noor. it was fun, a lot of fun. it was a shit play, but it was fun. hehe, right before the curtains came up, literally minutes before we got onstage, zeina's behind the curtains crying. she lost it, and i waned to beat the sense back into her. i didn't though. and we did relatively fine. people ket coming up to me for days afterwards going "good show", people i didn't even know. it wasn't anything, just a class grade. one act, one scene, ten minutes. just a skit really. nothing like steel magnolias. how did i go off into this subject? right barney's show... i discovered daniel's gonna play justin timberlake in their show. i find that hilarious. nasser was teasinghim, singing "cry me a but hole" all lunch. i ate crusts. they begged around for enough moeny to buy an entire pizza. they got a whoe KD off me, and i ate the crusts, because i don't eat cheese. they found it wierd. random. so, i think i'll go to barney's show after school today. no i'm already done with school, not today. wednesday. yeah. i think i will.

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moana

:: 2004 8 May :: 2.01pm
:: Music: beegees - the joke was on me

ouiser
i am the comic relief of life. i was comic relief in every performance, i am the comic relief to most people that know me in real life. generally speaking, i am there to make people laugh, to let them relax a bit, loosen up, and laugh. that's all i'm good for. not really that great for advice, apparently i'm too blunt for consolation. but i will laugh with people, or give them something to laugh about. it's what i exist for. seriously, it's all i exist for. it's all i'm good for. it's kind of sad, but kind of funny. since i was the little kid in second grade, i've been the one cracking jokes, and when no one laughed at the jokes, i was the one jumping off desks to make the kids laugh. that's who i am. it's who i've always been. it's starting to look like it's who i'll always be, ever, for the rest of my life. i can make my peace with that. i've already made my peace with that. that's why i'm always in character. isn't that funny? screw you i find it funny.

i guess that's probably why i'm already so sick of people coming up to me going "you're ouiser!" it's not like they're complimenting me on a character i played well, it's like they're condemning me to be this woman. and what's funny is, we decided during our little character study, ouiser is really sad. like she's suffered and stuff. that all that exterior is just defensive. and you'd think after all that character study, they'd realize what they're condemning me to be when they tell me "you're ousier." guess not. who knows? maybe they do know what they're doing to me? i don't know. there seems to be a lot i don't know lately. it's sad. it's funny. isn't it funny?

it's close.

i'm almost out of things to say. i pride myself in being able to say anything and everything; just like ouiser in a sense. not afraid to speak my mind. but i always end up being the joke, the punchline. it's funny. it makes others laugh. sometimes, it makes me laugh, too. sometimes it makes me want to scream. but i don't scream. i just laugh. it's what i do. it's become who i am. that's funny.

i started a joke which got the whole world crying. only i couldn't see that the joke was on me.

i look at the sky running my hand over my eyes and i fell out of bed hurting my head on things that she said.

i started to cry, which got the whole world laughing. only i couldn't see that the joke was on me.

it's a sad song, but it's kind of funny. i find a lot of things funny. i got put back on a small amount of pills again, those little harmless painkillers. just for a little while, and then i won't have to take them ever again. but i think i took too much, because i hurt, and now i'm fine. it's kind of funny. isn't it funny? i think it's funny.

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moana

:: 2004 7 May :: 2.30pm
:: Mood: craving
:: Music: weezer - hashpipe

my kingdom for a fag
yes i am craving (again). *sniff* *spit* and then...

ok, so after my father's hosue today i've decided. i hate going to his side of the family. they're tight asses, capitalist consumers, insane islamic fanatics. it makes me sick. if they could go out and martyr themselves for the sake of free market, they would. i need to gag.

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nerdalert

:: 2004 7 May :: 1.59am

ohman
so today i played hockey again....from like 6 to midnight. we moved locations like 34382305 times! we started at civic, then went to the rink at schroeder and stevens, then to ligget where the security guard kicked us out, then to ryans. it was a good time! now im dead tired. but like physicaly....but im like wide awake too, its weird!

im going to be so bored tomorrow! janet and adam and mel and craig and ryan and his g/f (jessica?) are all going to rosevilles prom, and i think laura said shes hanging out with either danielle or stephanie. OOHHHH! i can call stein, thats it, i just had my revolation!

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buttercup954

:: 2007 6 May :: 3.11pm
:: Music: interpol

~~so.... i never use this thing anymore. but since i'm only 50% lazy, i still paid the dinero for it. basically this will be a sort of last post kind of thing.~~
friends only.

from now on, please go here.

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moana

:: 2004 6 May :: 4.15pm
:: Music: distorted penguins - cloud 9

hoo-hah
right, so the show's done and over with. it's sad, i was kinda getting happy with it. now it's gone and it's not so fun anymore. fun to talk about, but we're not doing it anymore. i'll miss being ouiser (oyyser). it went great. people laughed a lot more, which just goes to show you, having a clump of teachers for an audience will earn you more laughter at the subtle adult jokes than a mass of high schoolers. i certainly felt much more appreciated. it was a good feeling. *giggles* hoo-hah shadow... anyways... yeah. *giggles osme more*. so after it's all done and we step out for the curtain call, we bow, we give flowers, blah, then all of a sudden, i stop the curtains, just before BJ closes them and go "wait! the crying mother, m'linn, turned 16 today" and people started whooping, cheering and clapping! andy turns to look at me, goes "i hate you" with this huge smile on ehr face, i don't mind. well, afterwards, i went to andy's house to spend the night. i attacked her in my sleep, stole her covers, she rolled over on me numerous times. it was ok, we laughed over it in the morning (er, noon). it was a good weekend. i enjoyed it. thank you andy, for moral support, being a good sport, and just big boobful hugs. you rock. *dances the andy dance in celebration of you*.

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nerdalert

:: 2004 6 May :: 2.04am

last night in LBN was a blast
we did power hour, i finished a 40 and a quarter of another one....in an hour....one shot of beer per minute. i dont like beer so it was rough for me...but i handeled it.

these were the funny things we did....
walked to the cafeteria bc christen insisted there was a study break tehre (they have thoseduring exams from 10 -12, but not last night. so we went to mandy and sandi's room and got my cup....finely lol. then we walked back to the room, and i yanked this flower off the tree because christen wanted it. i was spitting for some reason, i got one in the tree, it was sweet! then we went to the bowling alley. ipicked up a spare and got 2 9's. i rock at drunk bowling! ;-) then we came back and i crashed in my bed at like 2. aparently sandi called me at like 5, but i was way passed out and my phone didnt even wake me up. this morning was hilarious, everyone was barfing or had barfed and felt like shit....not me, i dont barf or get hangovers...i know i rule, be jealous. haha.

got home today at like 2, played hockey, played basketball, rode bikes, played ultimate, played basketball, played hockey. im dead right now, so im going to bed!

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moana

:: 2004 5 May :: 4.38am
:: Mood: still rushed and somewhat flushed
:: Music: muse - butterflies and hurricanes

we rocked! woohu!
ok so yesterday, as it turned out, blag ended up staying with me at school the whole day. he suggested we go back to his place, but i don't know why i decided against it. (seriously i don't know why.) so we stayed in school, folding programs, walking around, then we got a hold of conway's keys and went to her room for a while. it was really really nice. i'm going to make a restriced entry about it later (for my personal enjoyment *winkwink*). so anyhow, we had a great time, and we talked a lot about everything and nothing in particular. at one point, when all the girls came back to school and started getting in costume and makeup, someone asked him "so are you and fajer dating?" and he goes "i don't know, hey ToTo, are you and i dating?" so i thought about it for a while, then shrugged and responded "you tell me." funny. they laughed. i laughed too. well there's more! the show starts up and we get on stage. it's not perfect but it goes well. people laughed when i got on stage, they laughed at most of my funny lines in fact. well come act1 scene 2 and yes, here comes the screw up. cathy forgot her line. so reem fed her the wrong line. all of a sudden, i'm staring from backstage, jaw open in shock as cathy skips 6 pages of script and starts saying MY LINES because i'm not even on stage yet! well i grab concubine, who is practically crying "it's not use it's ruined! it's over there's no point getting on stage now!" and try to talk some sense to her. i don't get through, so i grab her by the wrist and drag her on stage, literally DRAG her on stage. we cover up beautifully. i was impressed. as soon as the curtain closes we run at each ther, hugging, jumping up and down, not believing we fucked so bad and yet pulled it all together. it was beautiful. when the play was over, and concubine and i stepped out for our curtain call, the clapping turned into whooping. i felt ready to burst. it was one of hte most precious moments of my life thus ar (yes that's al ine from the play). so tonight, i hope to repeat the process, only BETTER and without skipping six pages of script. until then, i go.