goobs827
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2004 5 August :: 5.19pm
:: Mood: good
:: Music: Los Lonely Boys--Heaven
YES... I got a Ricky Williams jersey--you go smoke that marijuana you stud!
blahblahblahblah...
Once again I feel like I should update...
Yeah so the village DID suck. I was really dissapointed. It was a great idea but it wasn't really thrived on that well. And the "scary" parts were a joke--I was like laughing, parts of it were actually so ridiculously stupid.
Things are getting better. I had the day off today because my boss said it was "going to be a monsoon." It rained for like 10 mins, oh well. It was so funny, yesterday it was this boy's (see prev. post) birthday and my boss who is just old and nuts and just crazy was like 'So it's ya birthday robbie, gabi's gonna give ya a big kiss.' It was really funny and totally random.
Anyway, things are getting better and I'm having fun--I just miss people and I hope all my visits work out.
I totally refuse to watch TV for the next 2 weeks--ENOUGH with the back to school commercials it's still summer...It depresses the crap out of me. But I'm really not TOTALLY dreading school actually.
and i have a birthday coming up--and this year there's things i actually want--yum. can't wait.
ergh, ashlee you are SO not punk simpson screw you and your stupid #1 album. you suck.
big kissss<33
i'd dance 1000 steps for you...
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goobs827
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2004 1 August :: 8.40pm
:: Mood: weird
Just Got Paid...Fri---Sunday Night :)
Blah, I knew this day would come. I haven't updated in a while, and I just have to update even though I don't really want to. I just have to. Blah.
Where did I leave off? Edgemont? Okay, yeah so I'm here upstate for good. It's been a little slow but I think it's gonna be fun. I've been hanging out with Meredith a lot so that's been cool. I guess it's just hard to break into your second home...I still feel like I'm staying in someone's house. But I'm really excited for friends and family to come up. REALLY excited for things to fall into place.
Then there's work...I work at this stand at the race track selling famous horse photos--sounds horrible but it's not bad--I do a lot of people watching, people come and talk to me when it's slow, and it's very fun when I get sales and get to be all professional. The people I work with are great too. My weekends are a little distorted though, Monday and Tuesday. It's fine but I think I'll love it when it's super busy. I hope so at least.
Plus, my handicapping skills are SICK...I've been winning so many bets and I give tips to customers and then if they're right they have to come back and buy something.
Have I mentioned how much I MISS everyone. It's insane. I need my stellars. I hope people can come visit :-/ ...every once in a while I'm just like "WAIT, why am I so EMPTY-feeling?" It's like a part of me is incomplete :(
How about them Yankees, eh? Adios Jose...and adios Nomah--ha.
I can't really get this lump (metaphorical lol) off of my back...it's like I'm scared to have fun and that I'm not gonna have fun. There's just a lot of things I hope to be able to do and I hope work out. I also miss my tiny jockey friend Rudy...he's so cute/cool. I need to hang out with him more--even though he's like 30 lol. And I think I may be babysitting John Velasquez's kids...that's like kind of a scary responsibility :?)
Bottom Line: It's like I have it all planned in my mind of how i want this trip to work out. I hope it does. I hope it effing does.
Blah, I'm so confused about soccer...It starts so fucking early and I'd miss like at least 2 weeks of preseason and I just don't knoooow. Eeeeeks. And I hate the fact that I have to make a decision.
Tomorrow drive-in to see The Village (even though it sucks, Cheriii)... I think that will help tame the "lump."
Oh, and I think I've acheived the impossible--I've met a really NICE guy...his dad's a jockey--muy cool.
Well, I hope everyone's having fun...miss you all.
anddddddd i'm off...xo
3 steps |
i'd dance 1000 steps for you...
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goobs827
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2004 22 July :: 3.42pm
:: Mood: good
Raining in Scarsdale?
Beginning of Yankee Game:
Michael Kay: Well we're getting this weather report that its raining in Westchester, but really only in Scarsdale. That's very interesting.
Ken Singleton: Well...It's a good thing we don't play Yankee games in Scarsdale. It'd probably be pretty expensive to build a stadium there anyway.
haha. good god. yeah so it seems like its only raining here (or it was)..kind of strange.
Anyway, yesterday I went to work with my dad. It was great fun even though I had to work. I love going to his office and having everyone suck up to me because they know I can be their boss one day. It's kind of scary though. I'm not used to so many people being so nice to me. I got $100 and a Coach wallet, ha. I went to Coney Island too for "lunch break" and I went on the Cyclone, it was so fun. But really scary because it's so old and i thought i was going to die.
I talked to Kate and Stacey...I can't believe it's been a month since everyone left. It makes me sick to think how FAST this is going by. And I had a conversation with my mom last week and she was like asking me out of all my friends..."who's the most---"who's the least likely to do---" It was a fun conversation and it helped me clarify many things. And it's not like I think "God why are they like that?" I embrace their flaws because I know I have plenty of my own. It makes you unique. And I think finding what you don't do too well in yourself and other people helps you work to a better friendship and teaches you how to react to things and what to avoid and how to say things. It also helps you realize what you love so much about them. It's certainly worked for me. The conversation also made me sad because I miss so many people.
I'm off to Saratoga either tomorrow or the next day...Excited to start the second half of my summer.
Okay well I gotsta go...great Yankee game on.
Big Kiss~GG
i'd dance 1000 steps for you...
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goobs827
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2004 17 July :: 11.22am
:: Mood: calm
:: Music: Tamyra Gray~Legend
What's on my mind/happening these daYS
1) So I'm back in Saratoga--We're moved into our house...it's by no means all furnished but it is so precious. I love it...and I can't wait for visitors..it's gonna be a really fun house.
2) I come home Monday and then...I come back like Saturday for good and for work. I'm excited. I love the track and the track people. It's just too much fun up here. The townies are a little bizarre--its that whole upstate state of mind but whatev. Everyone has a summer place--I think mine's a little different than most people's though.
3) And also, now you can't say I didn't try. Maybe we should just stop. And frankly, that's fine with me. It's no longer my fault. I blew my chance and tried to make ammends for it, but now you blew yours.
4) I just found out some unfortunate news about myself. And I really have to keep my composure in times like this....I know it will be okay in the end if I just don't go insane and can do it.
I hope everyone's summers brighten up a bit.
Love you all~
i'd dance 1000 steps for you...
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goobs827
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2004 11 July :: 10.02pm
:: Mood: nervous
It amazes me how hypocritcal some people can be..it's really everything that defines Edgemont and it's major flaw. People pretend that order and society doesn't matter and that individuality is key to success and blah they're all "rebellious" and then meanwhile deep down they DO insanely care about all of those things and have no shame in showing it. It's just a bad message too, like you can just get whatever you want if you whine. And unfortunately people here feed into that and will give you whatever you want even if it's not right for you.
RENT was fantastic. JAI from queer eye was in it omg what a surprise! And we got autographs and pics at the end :) WOW it was great seeing scary...she wasn't a great Mimi vocally but it was awesome seeing her. I missed Manley though :( I honestly pity anyone who hasn't had the privelege of seeing that show. IMO, it's brilliant. And the people who say they don't like it are just talking out of their asses and pretending to be such non conformists.
haha, i'm quite nice today aren't i?
WELL that's all.
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i'd dance 1000 steps for you...
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goobs827
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2004 9 July :: 10.13pm
:: Mood: anxious
:: Music: yanks game
there's no place like home...(couldn't resist)
It's GREAT to be back.
For once, it really is. I'm sick of being around my bratty cousin, the three-month- behind radio stations, the boredom and the marlin fans. (had to go to a game ugh...it was fun but the fans are pathetic and there's these whore cheerleaders...it's an atrocity to the sport it really is) It was a really fun trip though lol. I got so much driving practice (on the street..uber scary)!
One good thing that came out of my cousin's mouth on the trip:
"Anyone who says High School is the best part of your life, is living really freakin small."
RENT tomorrow! Words can't even say how excited I am (I'm sure you can tell and are sick of my away messages lol) But seriously...I cannot freaking wait!!
I'm also excited to be able to just take it easy, hang out with the edgemont crew and whatnot. There's one thing in the near future I am highly not looking forward to...but I know it'll be fine once it's over with. Not everything can be perfect.
El Report Card came. There were a few things I was baffled about. 1) Spanish fourth quarter grade was much better than I thought 2) Espanol final was much...worse 3) 90 on the regents..holy shit!!! The hardest final was the one i did the best on! (I got the same grade on all my other finals, ehh w/e) I KNOW I could have studied a lot more...But I'm just NOT an overacheiver, I never will be...thats not who I am. And I'm fine with that and happy about it. I'm proud of myself.
just saw dodgeball haha...too funny.
I feel really bad for Mary-Kate Olsen...sorry that was extremely random but for some reason it really makes me really sad :(
I'm so excited for summer...I get the feeling this is gonna be a great one.
goodbye love<33(ahhh rent omg lol)
i'd dance 1000 steps for you...
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goobs827
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2004 4 July :: 11.04pm
:: Mood: quixotic
HaPpY bIrThdAy AmEriCa!!!
Just finished a nice lil fourth of July. Fireworks across the water were nice but our home fireworks were siiiiick...so much fun! And my american flag cake was gorg.
It's been a good trip. My cousin who everyone worships (nicknamed "The Messiah") just got back from Asia so I'm happy about that. We've done a lot of things I used to love to do here but lately stopped doing so I'm very happy about that too. I saw The Terminal, it was muy bueno. Did some awesome shopping as well and got my first juicy item (GASP! I'm prob the only one in emont)!! A cute white peasent skirt :)
I've also had some driving lessons from my aunt!! She's taken me to the church parking lot in her lexus and I was so scared I was gonna total it but I'm doing pretty good actually. She says i dont give her whip lash like her kids gave her.
and some SICK yankee v. red sox games this past week--they were just swept by the mets, yikes, but its all good. I may be dragged into a MARLINS game this week--Gads!!
hmmm...not really much else worth talking about. I'm excited to get home in a few days and hang out with the e-mont crew.
I hope everyone's having fun.
CiAo
i'd dance 1000 steps for you...
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christini
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2004 1 July :: 7.22pm
:: Mood: cold
:: Music: switchfoot
ive decided to start alternating between here and eljay now, it seems like less people read up here. i like that its more.. hidden, i guess.
things have been really weird lately, i feel something else everyday. no consistency whatsoever.
emy and i broke things off i suppose, im happy/sad about it ,
happy cause, well, all we do is fight anymore, and it seems as if lately all hes been doing is provoking me and TRYING to make me mad, and just been getting on my nerves and hurting me left and right, and i just need the break.
sad , cause, well, as much as i dont want to, i do love him. and whenever i get lonely all i want is to be in his arms again. and, thats always gonna be there. until i have him back or until i fall for someone else. thats just.. how it works i guess.
it seems to be a mutual decision now, cause we've gotten to the point where its not really anything but a physical relationship now, and well, it used to be so much more. we used to be best friends.. and now, i feel like we dont know the first thing about eachtoher. and that only makes it that much easier to fight, when you dont know someone . so, maybe since we have that whole, physical aspect down pat, if we swerve away from that for a while and just not allow it, and work on the friendship we once had so well, maybe one day things will turn out the way ive wanted them. but maybe not. who knows. maybe one day we'll be such good friends that we wont want to ruin it again. maybe we'll get back together. maybe he'll fall in love and ill be heart broken. maybe we'll drift apart even more. maybe we'll hate eachother. i really dont know anymore. but im just , sick of hoping and dreaming and wishing on stars for him. whatever happens, happens from here. im done planning it out. cause that leads to nothing but disappointments and feeling of failure. and im really sick of that.
all i can hope for is the best. and that one day ill truely be happy.
hey, it could happen.
i just really want to get away for now. even if its just a sunny getaway with my parents. itd be nice to just go someplace i dont know and lay in the sun and listen to music and read books all day. i havent had time to read a book ive wanted to read in, ages. i never have time for me anymore. and from now on, thats my first priority. cause before i can find what i want in someone else i have to find it in myself. hopefully that getaway will come soon enough.
summer school may be over today for me, idk yet. cause even if i get an A, it might drop my hpa as it is, cause i think this class is only on a 4.0 scale. so it wouldnt make sense. plus i dont want to wake up early anymore. and i dont pay attention anymore, so , there really is no point. shrug. i guess i'll just decide by monday night.
someone wanna take me in for the fourth of july? i dont really wanna stay here. but dont really wanna impose upon people. maybe ill light some sparklers and just dance around my room. but then again that could be a fire hazard. we'll see. :/
now on to that me time.
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i'd dance 1000 steps for you...
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goobs827
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2004 29 June :: 2.25pm
:: Mood: pensive
:: Music: RENT
All my life I've longed to discover something as true as this is...
I haven't been woohu-ing for a few days due to my excessive time spent on the computer which lead to a "whole-summer restriction" but now I'm in Miami, on vacation so I'm allowed. But I don't think that the punishment will last very long.
My Mom & I have been having plenty of problems lately...She told me that it's not the same and won't be for a while and never imagined us fighting the way we do. That made me very sad but I know it will go back to normal in a few years...we have a very tight relationship...But she's reading this book about mother/daughter relationships and I read a few pages and one part really stuck with me. It was all about seeing another half of someone's story--like many times with your mom you say/think often (or at least I do) "She sees me as a...." Or "She doesn't see why/how..." And the truth of the matter is that we don't truly want to be seperated completely from our mothers, that's a myth...all we really want is "connection, respect, and recognition."
I've been thinking about my grandpa lately. Well, not actually thinking...like he comes into my mind and I quickly scatter to find something else to think about. I'm not ready to go back just yet.
Anyway...it's been a fun few days in New York. Saying goodbye to people was very tough and I think it'll be hard this summer...but besides that...Sunday the city with Mer & Elise, American Girl Cafe is too cool...and the Gay Pride Parade, Carson from Queer Eye totally waved at us! Too funny. (And we just got the tix for RENT for the three of us. Ahhh Scary Spice here we come!) And then that night the Subway Series--a little shoutout for my dad's bday in the Stadium's marquee thing was very fun. And these few days are the Red Sox! Niceee. But I don't think all get all 3 on TV down here, grrr.
*
And now I'm back here...it's like 1000 degrees, but I'm happy to be here...I hope it's a fun trip. It's certainly very hot...the weather in New York was perfect when we left.
I hope everyone's summers are off to a great start.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAUREN!<33
ciao
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i'd dance 1000 steps for you...
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briggs17
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2004 26 June :: 11.21pm
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: breaking the habit
i dont know why i instigate and say what I dont mean....
hey ya'll dorina just left my house and no1s really home yet, so i felt like sayin hello.
hello.
hope all is well, sadly enough ppl are dropping like flies and woohu will come to an abrupt hault for the summer for most of us..which is cool..some peoples next entries will be talkin about how excited they are for the school year to start or how sad.....wow......weird to think about..
I PAINT IT ON THE WALLS..CUZ IM THE ONE THAT FALLSS....I'LL NEVER FIGHT AGAIN....AND THIS IS HOW IT ENDS...
sry, random outbursts are my specialty!
ive got a really long and crammed week ahead of me! im so excited!!! hopefull y i'll b able to go to bball on tuesday, fit in an hr of work out..altho im soo out of shape yo!
aite..i started this entry at like 11 and procrastinated duin other stuff and now i dun wana write n e more
ttyl
God Bless,
<3Briggs<---
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goobs827
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2004 25 June :: 12.18am
Why Do I Just Want to Cry Right Now?
Maybe it's because a few of the friends I've grown with and experienced with this year are just suddenly--leaving and gone. Like that. Tucked into a world that I feel I may never be able to live up to.
Maybe it's because of something I never thought I'd let myself get upset over.
Maybe it's because I feel like everything I thought I had I really never did.
Maybe it's because I just don't believe in everything I want to accomplish.
Or maybe I'm just being dramatic. Maybe I'm delirious and I need to gather my emotions and figure it out. Yeah, I think I'm okay. I just need to...organize myself.
Or maybe--I do just need to cry. Maybe I am upset and angry and feeling shitty.
Maybe for once I just need to let myself accept the fact that I can't always be happy and pretend that I'm "just being dramatic." And maybe things aren't so easy.
Acceptance.
"My simpleness threatened by my own admission."~No Doubt
^absofrickinlutely
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i'd dance 1000 steps for you...
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briggs17
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2004 24 June :: 2.48pm
:: Mood: full
:: Music: shes so high
time is drawing closer
im madd nervous for this conventioN! but i kno me and my girls can do it, for sure!! this weeks gatta be 10000000% devoted to the bb though!!!
aite-- hows every1? hmm, well..ericas pissed at me, i have about 12 mosquito bites or more frum the party last nite, i have to babysit tonite and i dont have a ticket to my cousins graduation,im not goin to graduation today..which i dun really care about but hey its somethin,i feel like i should be doin something but i dont know what, somethin is definately missing...
but besides all that im actually in a good mood! lifes been treatin me well thank God and i hope it stays that way..omg...exactly 1 weeek...im flippin out frum nervousness and excitement at the same time im ganna die ahH!H!H!H!!!
ilu all n hope u all have awesome camp days
God Bless,
<3Briggs<---
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briggs17
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2004 21 June :: 11.17pm
:: Mood: the mood ive had all weekend!!
:: Music: she will be lovedd
BeauTtyy QuEen Of OnLy 15...
i was just about to press update journal after writin every detail of my amazin weekend, but i cleared it all..cuz i really dunt want ppl hearin bout it unless i tell them personally...
i was gone for the past 4 nites over diff. houses and im back home....
bottom line......i was the most fun and interesting and exciting weekend of my whole entire life.
remember everyone, even if you dont want to believe it, BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER......always.
God Bless,
<3Briggs<---
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goobs827
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2004 21 June :: 11.21am
:: Mood: almost perfect...
first day of summer!!!
Saratoga was nice...i'm excited that i get to like design my room and stuff..the house is really pretty and cute and i'm so excited to get up there. It's just too much fun.
The thing I'm a little annoyed about is that I have to work until the end of the track meet which is like septemberrrr...but hopefully it will lighten up and i'll be able to come home more frequently...and hopefully I'll get some visitors! I know florida people are coming but I want some edgemontians to come too.
i saw the day after tomorrow this weekend. i really enjoyed it. scares the hell out of me to imagine something like that happening. but it got me into quite the movie mood.
I dont think i updated about everything being OVER! Earth sci i found very hard and it was def. made out to be much easier than it was. But w/e it's done and finished...not going to worry about it.
Wow...sophomores. I just can't believe it. We're growing up so fast. This is the last week that we're all like home before we go our respective ways. It's really kind of sad. 10 months of drama and what-not and then its like a fresh slate.
But for once I'm actually not dreading the end of the summer. I'll be excited to go back and see everyone. I feel like this year I finally found myself and my place here.
so here's to summer '04...hope everyone's is awesome. Don't forget your roots.
...Until September
*Gabrielle
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i'd dance 1000 steps for you...
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christini
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2004 18 June :: 8.04pm
it seems i havent updated this thing in centuries....... yeah. yeah yeah. april. dadadamn. i neglect this woohu thing. why did i pay my two dollars? who knows.
summer has been fun. relaxing, no work, sun, friends, f.u.n. i love love love it. people who say they get bored over summer when they're by themselves dont know what theyre talking about. i cant seem to find enough to do all the stuff i want to do. <3
summer school starts next week : (
but its only 11, or maybe 10 days. so. the countdowns already relatively low from the first day :). im excited/scared to have him in school with me. we'll see.
i feel like im finding a new person in me.
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i'd dance 1000 steps for you...
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