eehhhh...i wanna crawl up into a ball and just die....so much shit happened last night..i dont even know where to start......emy and amy talked...and he was being a jerk to her... basically saying how me and him are too alike to be good together, and how supposedly i blew him off for 5 days...i dont get that part.. i mean the first two he KNEW i had a fuckload of hw.. and the other three he wasnt home, i wasnt home, how were we gonna talk.. hes just said some really hurtful things..and i have a feeling this is just the beginning of it.. so after i heard what they talked about......i emailed him, again, asking him to maybe clear up some things cuz i had no idea where we stood.. and i asked him if he was planning on responding and hes like no not really, and he was just being a complete jerk the whole night, all he was saying was how it was all my fault that we didnt talk for 5 days, and he kept stressing on that, and every time i tried to steer away from it we ended right back up there... i mean, i have to give him that, that we might be too much alike to be good for eachother, cuz we always act the same ways when we dont get our way, or when we fight, and i think thats the problem, that were both too stubborn to give in and we just keep defending ourselves.. and i dont know, maybe hes right, maybe all my friends are right, maybe its just time to move on, cuz from one point, i agree with that, but then my mind drifts off thinking about all the times he held me in his arms..our first date... stuff like that, and i just get lost in those thoughts, and think how amazing it is when were together, and then im back to square one. i know that the thing best for me would be to just move on, but i cant and i dont want to let go of him, what we have is too special to just let go like that... and thats why im so sad.. just for that reason alone, from when he left last night, till like, 12:30 am i was crying at the thought of losing us, thats how much he means to me. amy tried to make me feel better , and believe it or not it kinda worked hunny..and then sam called me and i guess we were talking about other stuff how all guys are asses and theres not one thats good out there, and she kinda steered me off the topic i guess and got my mind off of it and actually got me to stop crying.. but then my mom came in and sat with me..and yeah.. she got me crying again.. but she had some pretty good points.. that if a guy can make u cry once, he'll probly just keep doing it over and over.. and that all men are assholes..and some of the stuff she said actually helped.. and she just sat with me till i dozed off.. but then theres SOME people dont understand how hurt i am right now.. Marjorie.. that fucking bitch, she doesnt know shit about me or how i feel about him or anything like that, and she strolls along with her little bitchy friends trying to persuade him to break up with me. i dont understand how she has the nerve to do that.. shes fucking ruining my life.. shes already told him some complete bullshit about me and hes been believing it, like a while back she was telling him how i was always all over other guys or something and how i was "talking shit" about him all the time in school..well guess what...i never fucking even talked to her in school how the fuck was i gonna talk shit about him.. the only time that MAYBE came to that was when me and emy were BOTH in a fight and we were both pretty pissed but that was it. she just goes ruining my life without knowing the first thing about me..she thought i hated her or something , wehn i never did, but hey, guess what, now i do!! i hate her with a passion. she tries to go ruin my life and steal the one person i care most about in this world away from me by telling him all this crap and getting him to believe it and turn him against me. and who knows what else shes been doing, hes told me that she keeps stressing that THEY go out , she just cant find her own guy to get, she has to go after mine, well i have news for you bitch, if you ever get a guy, cuz ur so fucking ugly, then one day, hes gonna realize what a mistake it was to go for a little whore like you, and hes gonna dump your ugly ass, and, boohoo, youre gonna be heartbroken too, and guess who'll be laughing then.. i just cant believe u have the nerve to walk into my life and ruin the one thing that means the world to me. thats just wrong. go to hell. she came to me pretending to be all nice, and friendly, and "oh im so sorry i didnt know you still liked him" and then she goes to him, telling him all this shit about me, like oh dont go out with her she just wants you cuz i want u and she hates me and she just doesnt want me to get u, and all this fucking shittttt, WTF , honey, why in the world would i just want him cuz you want him. i dont even understand that. i wanted him cuz i missed him. you never played any part in my decisions about him...ever..dont go thinking my whole world revolves around u, she was just, such a two-faced bitch i couldnt believe it. i used to think she was a nice person.. but now... ive never hated anyone more than i hate her right now.. she thinks she has everything figured out about me but she doesnt know shit.

2 steps | i'd dance 1000 steps for you...