krazykelc1
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2004 17 April :: 6.14pm
:: Mood: HAPPY!
:: Music: none
I'm so happy!!!!
MY CELLPHONE WORKS!!!!
I'm so happy... my cell phone works! I dunno how the hell I got txt messaging back but I hope Cingular isn't charging me for it cause then my rentz would flip..
I'm goin to Britt's house tonight, I'm waitin for her to pick me up now..
Then tomorrow me,amanda,liz and britt are goin to Maine for Britt's b-day :-)
which is another suprise because I was suppose to be *grounded* this weekend.
Today is a good day.... :-)
Well I'm out, write more tomorrow night when I get back.
-kelsey
1 comment |
you better fucking comment!!
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GoLdIe18
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2004 17 April :: 3.29pm
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: *John Mayer*
hmmm...
confused.
talking to Jonah about it, but hes in Israel still, for a little over a month more and I dont know if he can be much of a help right now.
Sam R is amazing. She is SO funny. I hate those two slutty whores too! no worries and oh yeah Sam..im not a trashy hoe! hahaha behind the dumpster! haha gts! xoxo biffle
So many new friends Ive made this year, and so many old friends Ive gotten closer to, and sometimes I choose to be blind and not realize it and thats what brings me down and now that I know what bothers me, I can stop it.....or at least I can try.
well...must go do my project for spanish cause Its due after vaca and Im not around.
cant wait till Monday ((great way to kick off an amazing vacation)) Sarahs, Randalls then off to Montreal..looking forward to it allllllll!
*Fly Away With Me To NeverNever Land*
you better fucking comment!!
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silentcriez
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2004 17 April :: 1.43pm
questions
MissGolightly9: okay....if you could do anything with the rest of your life wat would it be?....wats your favorite color?.....wats the best memore u have?
i would sing. forever and ever. singing songs i write it makes me happy :-)
my favorite color is blue
my best memory i think.. hmm i dont think i have a favorite memory i liek all of teh happy memories.. and hate all teh sadness
iceyhott1769: if you could go anywhere in the world where would it be?
iceyhott1769: hmm and then......if you could have one thing in the world what would it be
iceyhott1769: if you were to change one thing about your past..what would it be
i would go to venice italy and look at all teh amazing art... the structures.. the gondola boats the romance.. but id never go alone...italy is romantic...
if i could have one thing it would be a singing career.. or not even that big.. just to be noticed and appreciated, as something great.. to make a difference
i wouldnt chaneg anything from the past because everything that has happened has led me to where i am today and iwthout all fo teh bad times iw oudlnt be who i am now..everything happens for a reason and u cannot toy with those reasons...
BronzE322: who has always been there for you and how important are those ppl in ur life
BronzE322: would ur life have changed at all if BJ Brondeau hadnt moved
BronzE322: what do you think would have changed in ur life if ur parents hadnt split up
always been there... well theres noone whose alwys been there.. i guess ive always been there for myself and even then i fail myself... but my friends are here for me... liek emily and lizzy and kelsey and meg and katie and everyone.. and ic are abotu them so much i woudlnt knwo what to do if i had to live without any of them...
i would have another best friend.. if bj b hadnt moved.. i think i would have had someone to talk to who actually understood me.. someone to save me from myself.. and i miss you bj :(
i wouldnt be in this much pain if my parents hadnt split...i would be happy and be a normal teenager doing normal things not doing what im doing to get away from my emotions.. to get away from myself and i dont think iw ould have to search for new flaws inside myself every day iw oudltn have to look for a reason i am unwanted....
Dannyboyy002: why does my heart skip a beat wen i c u? why does my soul laugh wen u say the simplest joke? why am i all into u
cuz of those little butterflies flying around in your tummy silly
cuz im just so funny lol jk
i dont know cuz im nothing special.. really... i dont see anythign in myself and i dont see why u should!! but thank you for flattering me
Juggalo 1110111: 1. Will you fuck me?
Juggalo 1110111: 2. Will you fuck me?
Juggalo 1110111: 3. Will you fuck me?
Juggalo 1110111: Have you ever wanted to kill someone?
yes
yes
yes lol
omg yes all the time.. but most of all myself.. because i could never hate anyone more than i hate msyelf... gr
Fal3nT3arz: why is life so fucked ?
because we allow it to be.. we are obsessed with ebing in control of things in life and one thing u cant crntrol is life.. its teh oen things taht is unobtanable and you cant control your emotions.. and we allow ourselves to get caught up in teh heat of teh moemnt and act upon impulse.. and noone takes teh time to understand eachother we just stick to what we think and what we feel .. and never listen to anything else...that we dotn agree with and we take eveyrhting for granted.. and want and want and want... until we use everything up and are upset.. we cause our own misery... every inch of it...
you better fucking comment!!
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silentcriez
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2004 17 April :: 1.10pm
It's words you forget
To anniversary songs.
The bottles bite back,
Your tolerance wrong.
Your good intentions count for little anymore.
You're sorry why wage war?
I'm not fully convinced.
There's something wrong with this.
Could another point of view,
Biased and untrue,
Tear me away from you?
Will you be my valentine
If I'm a world away?
Apologies
Are breaking me.
Constants aren't so constant anymore.
Two days I wait for
Calls to come through.
Tonight for me translates
To yesterday to you.
Bend and you wave
You're barely away.
I wish I could say tonight
When you bend and wave goodbye
You'd take me with you.
Will you be my valentine
If I'm a world away?
Apologies
Are breaking me.
Constants aren't so constant anymore.
The constants aren't so constant anymore.
Will you be my valentine
If I'm a world away?
(Constants aren't so constant anymore.
Constants aren't so constant anymore. )
you better fucking comment!!
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krazykelc1
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2004 16 April :: 11.23pm
:: Mood: uncertain
:: Music: Clay Aiken-The way
Such a good song... Such a terrible day
I heard this song on the radio yesterday in the car and I absolutely fell inlove with it!!
Theres something bout the way you look tonight, Theres something bout the way that i can't take my eyes off you. Theres
something bout the way your lips invite, maybe its the way that i get nervous when your around. And I want you to be mine
and if u need a reason why,
It's in the way that you move me, and the way that you tease me, the way that I want you tonight,
It's in the way that you hold me, and the way that you know me, when I can't find the right words to say,
You feel it in the way, you feel it in the way.
Theres something bout how you stay on my mind, theres something bout the way that I whisper your name when I'm asleep Oh
no. Maybe its the look you get in your eyes. Oh baby its the way that makes me feel to see you smile. And the reasons they
may change but what i'm feeling stays the same.
I can't put my fingers on just what it is that makes me love you, you baby.
So don't ask me to describe, I get all choked up inside, just thinking bout the way.
Today was a fucking bad day...
I got in a fight with my parents over me not having a cellphone, which is a big fucking issue for me. Then my dad "grounded" me?? hah that lasted for about an hour. Then I casually walked out of my house and met Lizzy and Amanda downtown.
Then for the 2nd time in two weeks my friends were ripped off by fucking Framingham kids. that is gay.
Not sure yet if I'm still gonna be able to go to Maine on Sunday for Britt's birthday... but I really don't give a fuck what my parents say they can bite me I've had enough of their shit >:O
basically the whole day sucked.. besides the fact that I saw Joe for the first time in soooo long. It was so random, we were sitting on the corner of west st. infront of the HS and all of a sudden I hear Amanda say "Kelsey look it's Joe" and I turn my head expecting to see one of the Joe's from around here...but nope. haha so that made my day basically...
It's such a weird feeling though, seeing the person you used to love..the FIRST person you ever loved... so randomly and after so much time has passed. It's weird not feeling the same way I used to....
But anyways I'm out, write more tomorrow
-kelsey
1 comment |
you better fucking comment!!
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silentcriez
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2004 16 April :: 4.40pm
I want everyone who reads this to ask me 3 questions. Anything you want. Then go to your journal, copy and paste this allowing your friends (including myself) to ask you anything.
2 commentz |
you better fucking comment!!
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cocopuff
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2004 16 April :: 4.39pm
I want everyone who reads this to ask me 3 questions. Anything you want. Then go to your journal, copy and paste this allowing your friends (including myself) to ask you anything.
1 comment |
you better fucking comment!!
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silentcriez
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2004 16 April :: 6.59am
All day staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something
Hold on
Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown
And I don't know why
[Chorus]
But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be...me
I'm talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
And I know, I know they've all been talking about me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow I've lost my mind
[Chorus]
But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
I've been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're taking me away
[Chorus]
But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
Yeah, how I used to be
How I used to be
Well, I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be
How I used to be
I'm just a little unwell
you better fucking comment!!
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silentcriez
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2004 15 April :: 8.30pm
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: i'm alright - twiztid
u only saw the outside... u never knew what i was feeling
i dont know what to say.. i guess i feel as if i am already out of words to profess to u how i feel.. i just wish there was some way i could figure out how i honestly feel and project it fluently and freely woithout it sounding reheresed.. i cried liek hell today with liz n kels at johnson... talking about my issues... which there are many... i guess i just dont understand how a mother can walk out on her kids. i hope that i am never as self centered as her. i want to talk to her honestly i do but i know it would kill me if i ever really did. i would go to pick up the fone and here it ring listen to her answer.. in her overused secretary voice and hang up after a couple seconds of silence... i fel as if there is so much to say yet so few words to explain it. iw ould just freeze or start to cry i mean i dont understand how i feel i dont get it
i mean im not talking to her because she doesnt udnerstand at all that what shes doing is wrong it makes me so angry because she leaves me these messages like "this is dumb its been 6 months wee need to talk" making it liek im teh one at fault. when its really her fault we dotn talk..
its fucking almost my birthday and im not even really excited.. how sad is that.. ill prolly just end up spending the day cryign my eyes out wishing mom would come back.
i have been having trouble sleeping lately ill lay up and i see this image of myself spinning in my head when i lay in bed at night and its just me looking at myself in a picture.. liek one of those big pictures that they put by ur casket at a funeral.. and i look at it and the eyes are closed. teh portals to my soul... gone liek i was blind to everything and theres like this voice in the back telling me whats going on.. so then i walk over to the casket and i look in and its me laying there pale and white and i bend down to kneel like u do at a wake.. and the body reaches out and grabs my wrist and starts to cry. and i ask it why its crying and it says nothing...then the image fades out and theres leikt his huge movie screen projecting fuzzy black words and i cant read them so i run forward trying to make out what it says and i get close enough and it says time.. and the letters crumble to nothing and i wake up.
i dont know exactly what this means... it kinda scares me.. im afraid of what i am becoming and why i am the wya i am .... grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr why cant things be easy i want so badly just for things to be ok... just for once be ok...
iceyhott1769: its like u think you're running out of time
iceyhott1769: i told my shrink all about it
iceyhott1769: they said "you fear you are running out of time with the things you love the most and your life is about to take a drastic turn, you just dont know what the future holds and you're afraid"
*theres a voice inside my head telling me to get some sleep because tomorrow might be good*
this dark pain
this empty emotion
it flows within my heart and beats violently...
the rain washes away the tears
but these scars remain forever open
every night i rip them open violently...
senses unleashed in the heat of the night
lust enveloping my every move
you rip my clothes of violently...
as thunder claps
and lightning fills teh sky
my world is shaken violently...
these pale eyes will be awaken
with the dawning of the day
my sleep is broken violently...
in depth you speak
and your words cut like a knife
they peirce my skin violently...
---------------------
im frozen here in front of you
bleeding for all to see
wont you love me?
and kiss me too...
ill pray for lust to shine on me
my kisses arent enough for you
werent good enough
for what you had in mind
you took a taste
and walked away
but im still in your veins
dancing upon your skin
frozen like the crystals floating in the air
patterins so detailed
not one is the same
is my heart the one at fault?
am i teh one to blame?
i guess its my stupidity
shouldnt have trusted you at all
i should not have counted on you
to capture my fall
so freeze me and foregt me
preserve me for another day
in my dreams well be together
hurry, before i melt away
-----------------------
these roads begin to spiral into eachother
can you feel the wind in your hair?
wandering freely
the blue bird lurks there
feilds and medows
tainted with the sins of teh past
sun once so bright
stains skin red
withe the blood of the night
dripping with envy
feinding for hate
segrigation has found me
knocking upon heavens gate
love me for a moment
for once let me smile
kiss my lips...
release love toxic and vile
1 comment |
you better fucking comment!!
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krazykelc1
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2004 15 April :: 7.54pm
:: Mood: just one of those terrible moods.. wats new :-(
:: Music: Twiztid-Your the reason
I love you but you don't care...
what the fuck else is new....
today after school Liz Amanda and I had a very deep and emotional conversation at Johnson. haha. we sat there for about 3 hours and just rambled on about whats been happening lately. All of it just made me think about how lucky I really am. I used to think that lil song that went something like "everything means nothing if I ain't got you babe.." was soo true, but after talking about things the whole afternoon it made me realize how selfish I am. I really do have it all... although there may be one thing/person I am without, that doesn't mean my life is as shitty as I make it out to be. I'm just one of those people who focuses on the one thing they dont have rather than the great things that already surround them... like friends and family.
Maybe if I didn't take things for granted as I have so far, then things would work out better for me.
My girls... I love you sooo very much, I don't know where I would be without you. <3
Show me the reason why
we do the things that we do
Show me the reason why
Take a chance with me, I won't let you down..
Tomorrow.. last day before april k-shun :-)
5 days.
3 commentz |
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GoLdIe18
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2004 15 April :: 5.19pm
:: Mood: anxious
:: Music: *One call away- chingy*
one more to go
one day left till spring break! I CANT WAIT!
montreal in 5 days- gonna be amazing! :)
marathon monday: possibly dt to sarahs?
then straight to RANDALLS! sleepin over there
TUESDAY BRIGHT AND EARLY-off to MONTREAL baby! hellz yeahhh!! ahhh!!!
no game, no practice-chillin today :) its goood
the week after vaca....4 games tho..:-/ i guess itll be okay, possibly 5 if todays is rescheduled till then but who knows, cant wait for my lax clothes! yay! hhaa...mwahh!
*come Fly Away With Me*
you better fucking comment!!
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krazykelc1
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2004 14 April :: 5.39pm
:: Music: Puddle of Mud- Blurry
have you ever jus sat by the window and thought about life
jus thought about all the shit
and you say you had enough
but never change
then you find yourself in the same postition
feeling guilty cause you didnt listen to yourself before
try waking up every morning
wishing you didnt
jus cause you have a problem you cant fix
no matter how hard you try
nothing will work
anyone relate to that at all.. ?
5 commentz |
you better fucking comment!!
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krazykelc1
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2004 14 April :: 4.51pm
:: Mood: contemplative
:: Music: Trapt-These walls
Nothings changed..
There's too much drama in my life at this point. I can't say things have never gotten this worse, but they are quickly sliding downhill. Whoever said it was right, I've got to stop assuming things. No guessing, no risking, no straying outside of the lines. It's my own fault things fall the way they do. Problems don't work themselves out..don't assume they will.
This afternoon was all about thinking for me... But sometimes I think I do a little too much thinking. I need to stop trying to pick apart every situation I find myself in. And stop trying to find the reasoning behind everything... why the hell can't I see things this way all the time is beyond me... I have an odd way of portraying certain things.
I read old conversations once again this afternoon. It only made me that much sadder. <- is sadder a word ? :-\ *sigh*
I wonder if he ever thinks of me....
Poetry time...
I can almost hear the tinkling
as my heart shatters to the ground
I can almost hear the rain
as my tears fall without a sound
I can almost feel the sizzling
of your anger burning me
I can almost feel the truth
in something that could never be
but now I feel nothing
not the pattering of rain
just the constant sensation
of ever thrumming pain
and though the clocks keep ticking
it's just a waste of time
forever spinning round and round
because I know you wont be mine
hate burns you like a fire
as my tears fall like the rain
putting out your fervent blaze
as you fill me up with pain
a hundred lies like cutting glass
pierce my heart so deep
blood flows like a river
from behind my mask it starts to seep
night falls like a shadow
but your eyes are bright as day
I speak to you like I'm a fool
because I dont know what to say
and I cant go on pretending
my heart is strong as stone
but I'm too afraid to tell you
cause I dont wanna be alone
Sober for 4 days if you're counting saturday night. Countdown: 6 days. // shouldn't be too exciting for me anyways, but we'll see what happens
you better fucking comment!!
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cocopuff
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2004 13 April :: 9.22pm
:: Mood: lonely
:: Music: none...
im teired of being alone
i hate it, im sick and teired of being second best... i don't get y but i guess thats as good as ill ever b.... im sick of being alone and i was hopeing that would change but i guess not, im sick and teired of things not going my way... what did i do to never get nethin i want, i don't everything all the time but i would liek to just once get what i want more thne nehting... im sick and teired of it all.....i hate u!!!... y?y did u even bother if i was only second best... IM SICK AND TEIRED OF BEIGN SECOND BEST!!! y can't i mean nething more then just sex to someone?? is that all im good for? if it is then y do i waste my time falling in love with ppl who could care less about me... i guess i should have learned my lesson a long time ago, thats im nothin to ne one and i never will b... its sad but its reality, and u know what reality sucks... but im sick and teird of hiding my feelings to make everything go away cuz trust me shit never goes away, and it always comes back to hit me in the face... what did i do..... what can i do to b more then 2ed... ill do nething.. but its like u don't even see me nemore..... im still here!!! LOOK AT ME!!! I FUCKIN LOVE U!!!! but i guess thats not enuf for u... Its never eunf and im sick and tried of that too... im soo sick and teired of everything... i don't understand y god loves to see me unhappy cuz believe it or not under all my happyness thats you see is the pain iv felt for years and today and for now on im not goin to hid it cuz it gets me nowhere way to fast....and u know im soo sick and teired of not gettin the love i deserive.. im sick and teired of it all, im sick and teired of being alone, im sick and teired of only being second best... but most of all im sick and teired of loveing you
1 comment |
you better fucking comment!!
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GoLdIe18
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2004 13 April :: 7.09pm
:: Mood: accomplished
:: Music: SL
finished :)
I FINISHED MY TERM PAPER FOR MRS.WARD'S HISTORY CLASS. WOO HOO!!
no game today postponed till tomorrow
330 away @ Norwood
then to jeW sChoOl
note to Elyse- made it 2 days :) kudos to me!
you better fucking comment!!
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krazykelc1
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2004 13 April :: 5.44pm
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: none
Muppets on Drugs™
Kermit the frog on Weed
Oscar the Grouch on X
Elmo on Acid
Big Bird on Mushrooms
Cookie Monster on Crack
Ernie & Bert on Opium
Miss Piggy on Angel Dust
-Jess & Kelc
you better fucking comment!!
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GoLdIe18
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2004 12 April :: 8.23pm
:: Mood: aggravated
:: Music: *Starting Line...*
long week then fun fun fun in montreal...without SOmEoNe :(
talking to Benji right now, and i am pissed because HE ISNT GOING TO MONTREAL!!! :( hannah said he was, and i was like YAY! cause he could teach me how to skate ((dont laugh ive never iceskated in my life)) and yeah, hes cool, and i want him to go, but nooo hes being mean! :( :( :( :( :(
BENJI.......GOOOOO!!!!!! itll be funnnnnn!!!
report cards suck btw:
A+ ~gym
B- ~ english
C ~ history
C+ ~ phys. sci
C ~ algebra
D+ ~ spanish
A ~ power point
yea i know, horrible horrible HORRIBLE i can do better, im capable of A's and B's. yeah so by now your thinking what are her punishments?...: the parentals took away:
SPRING CONVENTION
TEXT MESSAGES
AIM/ AOL ((mostly))
AND PHONE TIME...((cept w/adam))
this sucks..but i guess it could be worse...
still have montreal..but i wish benji would go
***SINCE YOUR GONNA READ THIS:***
HEY BENJI! xoxox GO!!!!!!! :) for me :)
and thats all folks...im out
~come fly away with me to neverneverland~
2 commentz |
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silentcriez
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2004 11 April :: 9.41pm
i guess it is obvious now that i really have no reason on this earth i guess ive comfortated myself with ethe thought that i was here for some purpose that iw ould make something fo myself.. i guess ive always felt destined to be something great but i dont think its so true anymore. my heart weeps in despondency i am nothing but salted fears and stale memories. nothing is really left for me things i used to find comfort in slowly metling awwy. all my old emotions gone.. i mean i dont care about myself.. let alone liek myself. but no, i would never choose to be anyone else. i guess if i had to suffer as anyone it might as well be me...
i find myself constantly writing of love and search for happiness.. but my heart does not truly love anyone.. oive been proven not to trust anyone throughout my life. i am only 14 years old and i have already lost faith in all, including myself. i find it sad how in teh depth of depression i feel teh best... and when i torture myself it makes the slightest lift of stress all that better.. sometimes i just want to hurt myself.. get teh courage to press down teh blade... hurting teh thing on teh outside because i hate whats on the inside.. its such a fad now... ppl showing off that they cut... its a real issue.. nothing to be joked with. nobodies issues can be bad enough to cut. they dont even udnerstand it...the seriousness of all of it... teh symbolism of the blood.. the rush in the sting of the blood seeping from your veins. all of your emotions draining from pale skin like the years you cry... not even i fully understand...
sean told me tonight i always need to get my way.. i guess its true dammit... why am i so stubborn? well its easter.. didnt do ANYTHING special.. dad got home around 5 from florida...i made dinner... and he got me some stupid easter bunny candy.. not like he really cared about it. my first easter without my mom.. and it was a sucky one.. she called my cellfone to talk to me.. and i still am not speaking with her.. when will she understand that what she did was wrong and that i am not teh one being stubborn here. until she realizes the flaws in her ways i will not speak to that selfish woman...
oh the insanity i felt last night.. the chemicals sworming my system.. i kept thinking about tihngs when i was trying to go to sleep.. i thought about how im moving wayyy to fast and im only 14.. i need to slow down.. liek drinking and smoking...its horrible in teh next couple years im already gonna be sick of it... well my birthdays coming up soon.. its gonna suck... moms prolly gonna try n call me or somethihng.... erg my first birthday without my mom... prolly spend it crying or something... damn... i hate this and i hate every emotion running through my veins.. wont they just freeze.. and i wont wake up.. all would be so much easier....
5 commentz |
you better fucking comment!!
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cocopuff
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2004 11 April :: 4.12pm
:: Music: Gin Blossums-"Hey Jealuosy"
Im back!
lol yea well im back from hickvill... lol well other then the whole trip it was fun! lol all i did was sit on my ass and watch ppl get shit faced and b the biggest hicks iv ever seen.. hahah but i guess thats where i get my hickness from... lol but im happy to b back!! i missed everyone!!!!lol yea well im home soo im happy and i don't have tiem to waste updatign this but i might later...
you better fucking comment!!
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krazykelc1
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2004 11 April :: 3.09pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: Ruff Ryder All Star Freestyle
Easter is such a fucking boring holiday.
+*+ Essentials +*+
Name: Kelsey Elisabeth
Age On Your Next B-Day: 15
B-Day: July 21
Zodiac Sign: Cancer
+*+ Your Room +*+
Color of Walls: Nostalgic Deep Purple
Computer?: Duhh
TV?: Yep
DVD Player?: Yep
VCR?: Yep
Phone?: Yes...I have it all
Bed or Futon?: Bed
Twin? Full? Queen? KING?: Twin
+*+ Beloveds +*+
Book: Haunted Sister
Colour: uhh pink purple black white silver..
Year In School: uhh 8th I guess, Freshman year sucks
Friend: I love em all
Sport: Soccer
Smell: The Ocean, barbecues, summer nights
Magazine: Seventeen
Lotion: Abercrombie Sweet Blossom, Perry Ellis America
Body Spray/Perfume/Cologne: Bath&BodyWorks-SweetPea & Moonlight Path. Victoria's Secret-Sexy. Axe/Old Spice/Curve
Beverage: Chocholate Milk,Lemonade, Orange Soda,Coffee
+*+ Cronies +*+
Secret Keeper: Kate
Good Listener: Kate
Trustworthy: Kate & Liz
Good Shopper: Meg
Best Personality: Liz
Best Athlete: Dont know
Best All-Around: not sure
Most Honest: Liz
Liar: dont know
Betrayer: umm I've decided to forget that
Lovestruck: Meg
Moody: Meg
Morbid: whats that mean?
Drama Queen: Andrea
Annoying: I could name a few
Dork: Meg & Kate
Intelligent: Amanda
+*+ Your Family +*+
Like 'em?: Depends on who and whats going down
Brothers?: 2
Sisters?: 0
you like your parent(S)?: At times
Why?: Long story
Oh...: Ya....
+*+ Misc +*+
like to shop?: Yep
Colour of Backpack: umm I have a skyblue one and a navy blue one
Brand of Backpack: LL.Bean
Email Address: babyblue2189@aol.com
AIM ScreenName: krazykelc1
Burn CDs?: Yep
DL Musak?: Yep
Awesome-est Site: dunno
Did You Like this survey?: If I didn't would I be taking it?
Why?: Are u that thick?
Oh...: Ya..you are
What Kinda Comp/Laptop you got?: Dell
niiice...: ya u know it
Ciao: adios
you better fucking comment!!
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krazykelc1
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2004 11 April :: 12.03pm
:: Mood: drained
:: Music: Mobb Deep-Got it twisted
Happy Easter
HaPpY EaStEr!
I woke up early this morning, around 9:00. I had gone to bed early because my stomach hurt and my eyes were aching from being dilated so long. yesterday was my 2nd time tripping..it was really intense. time flew by so quick and when the trip was over I could barely remember anything I did. I only wish Liz could have been with us this time since we had enough for one more person. anyways...today I don't really have anything planned. My parents didn't make me go to church which was suprising. my brothers coming out from Boston sometime this afternoon and some of the cousins from N.H.
I got $20 from my parents as an Easter gift.. I was planning on using it to reimburse myself from the money I spent on the shrooms but I'm not even sure if I wanna do that anymore... I think I might just save my money from now on instead of splurging on drugs.
COUNTDOWN: 9 days
you better fucking comment!!
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GoLdIe18
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::
2004 10 April :: 11.42am
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: *beauty & the beast*
*feeling better i think...
my headaches gone which is super! my tummy hurts a little tho...ill be okay i hope!
dinner with Andy, Randall and our fam's then LiNdSeYs ToNIgHt will be a PaAaaRTttaAayy syced for a night with the girls! xoxo
well....alls well that ends well i guess .... my whole dilema...seems to be fading, life should be good for awhile...kudos to that... xoxo
fly away with me....*Tinkerbell...
you better fucking comment!!
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GoLdIe18
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2004 9 April :: 4.10pm
:: Mood: crappy
:: Music: none.my head hurts
pretty pretty princess...
im so sick...head...stomache, have it all so i am stuck in this crummy house tonight, not being able to see adam...lets hope i can go to lindsey's party tomorrow night :/....
few things here:
for starters go see the pics (courtosy of a friend) from the john mayer and guster concert. Yes i was at the concert..our seats werent good for picture taking tho..so i am using a friend'd pictures....
http://community.webshots.com/user/goldie1807
Fairy Land....Never Never Land...My Fantasy...
"create me a utopia
unlike any other
where dreams come true
and everyones pretty
nothing goes wrong
and everythings fun
life has no troubles
and love is in the air
create me a utopia where
home is a place in your heart
and where everyones liked
create me a utopia where
theres no such thing as war"
Becca- thanks for last night, and trying to help, i dont see myself as beautiful, and i dont know why you do. but thanks! so glad were finally friends...it took too long! xoxox
Fly Away With Me To Never Never Land...
you better fucking comment!!
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GoLdIe18
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2004 8 April :: 8.41pm
:: Mood: cold
:: Music: BoN JoVi- livin on a prayer:)
"lifes a beach, ride your own wave"-jg
I can imagine being the princess, my dreams of walking into this big, fancy ball room and having everyone turn to look and be like "wow, its Jodi" and saying how beautiful I am. My silver sparkled shoes, my gorgeous light pink, white/silvery, sparkly dress, made for a queen... My hair all nice, and pretty im all done-up, and to make it perfect, a tiara...glittery make up and my prince. Everything is perfect. I love my world, but then...as reality hits and come into the ballroom, everything fades to black. Its over, its gone, life will never be like it is in my dreams, my fantasy world, in my Never Never Land....
*Ill never be the princess wearing the tiara and being gorgeous. I have my prince, but im not and never will be...a princess :( *
you better fucking comment!!
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cocopuff
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::
2004 8 April :: 3.17pm
:: Mood: busy
:: Music: Garbage-
lakjsdbh
Yea well what did i tell u... lol shit hit the fan but thats ok... im gonna talk to who ever the fuck i want to talk to and they can do w/e they want but im not going to stop.....
Yea well im gonna write this fast cuz i have to go pack for dumb ass Canada... yea i know whats ur thinking wtf what are u going to Canada for? lol sadly i have family there ahaha... yea soo this sux... fisrt nice weekend in a long ass time and im gonan b in the cold and all alone..... this is liek the fisr weekend in soo long that i havent done nething and its soo sad!!!! im gonna miss my Kelsey, Manda, Meg, Jess, Brittany, Darien, Nikkie, Kimmy...and everyone els i forgot..... lol yea well u all have fun w/out me lol but keep me in sprit... i love u guys soo much!!!
off to Canada
<3Lizzy
you better fucking comment!!
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krazykelc1
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::
2004 7 April :: 6.18pm
:: Mood: blank
:: Music: 50 Cent/Tony Yayo-Face down
Sarah McLachlan mood..
I Love You
I have a smile
stretched from ear to ear
to see you walking down the road
we meet at the lights
I stare for a while
the world around disappears
just you and me
on this island of hope
a breath between us could be miles
let me surround you
my sea to your shore
let me be the calm you seek
oh and every time I'm close to you
there's too much I can't say
and you just walk away....
and I forgot
to tell you
I love you
and the night's
too long
and cold here
without you
I grieve in my condition
for I cannot find the strength to say I need you so
oh you're so beautiful
with an edge and a charm
but so careful
when I'm in your arms
cause you're working
building a mystery
holding on and holding it in
yeah you're working
building a mystery
and choosing so carefully
you woke up screaming aloud
a prayer from your secret god
you feed off our fears
and hold back your tears
give us a tantrum
and a know it all grin
just when we need one
when the evening's thin
oh you're a beautiful
a beautiful fucked up man
you're setting up your
razor wire shrine
Sweet Surrender
it doesn't mean much
it doesn't mean anything at all
the life I've left behind me
is a cold room
I've crossed the last line
from where I can't return
where every step I took in faith
betrayed me
and led me from my home
and sweet
sweet surrender
is all that I have to give
and I don't understand
by the touch of your hand
I would be the one to fall
I miss the little things...
oh I miss everything
it doesn't mean much
it doesn't mean anything at all
the life I left behind me
is a cold room
Do What You Have To Do
What ravages of spirit
conjured this temptuous rage
created you a monster
broken by the rules of love
and fate has lead you through it
you do what you have to do
and fate has led you through it
you do what you have to do ...
and I have the sense to recognize that
I don't know how to let you go
every moment marked
with apparitions of your soul
I'm ever swiftly moving
trying to escape this desire
the yearning to be near you
a glowing ember
burning hot
burning slow
deep within I'm shaken by the violence
of existing for only you
I know I can't be with you
I do what I have to do
I know I can't be with you
I do what I have to do
and I have sense to recognize but
I don't know how to let you go
Spend all your time waiting
for that second chance
for a break that would make it okay
there's always one reason
to feel not good enough
and it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
oh beautiful release
memory seeps from my veins
let me be empty
and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight...
COUNTDOWN: 13 days
2 commentz |
you better fucking comment!!
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cocopuff
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::
2004 5 April :: 6.49pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: oasis-
I Love u!!
yea well im off to go shopping now i jsut figured id write a quck little note in here to keep all thoes who resad happy... day was moday but it was the first good monday in a while... the nice weather makes me soo happy... and it seems for once mayb things are ok.. but watch i just jinksed myself and shit will hit the fan tomorrow... but hey i love to b ahppy as long as its only one day outta the rest of my life.... uim happy to see that ppl can mayb grow up a little.. ahvet gottne ther all the way yet but things aer lookign good(oh no ther i go jinksing my slef again) i can't wait for the summer!! its soo close b ut soo far!! but thats ok vacatiojn in liek 2 weeks or something soo thats always good and what makes it better is 420 baby!! lol party at miss mandas!! lol oh and Happy very early birthday my love!!... well afater beign happy i can tell its all gonan go away soon.. it always does but hey imma live it up whoile its here... soo im off bubye
<3Lizzy
you better fucking comment!!
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krazykelc1
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2004 5 April :: 3.41pm
:: Mood: grumpy
:: Music: Ruben Studdard-Sorry 2004
New Journal
I had to reset my journal because it got fucked up somewhere along the way... so I decided to completely start over, hope you like...
-kelsey
Why do you cry?
brought to you by Quizilla
you better fucking comment!!
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silentcriez
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2004 4 April :: 8.13pm
:: Music: sweet surrender
why does the bluebird sing?
and why do the swans love forever one mate?
living alone if one shall die.
an eternal bond.. a mate for life
no questions
no strings attatched
a love for all seasons
all shapes, all sizes
all species
such a primitive topic
which we have tangled up in this game called love
emotions thrown wildly
in the grasps of lust
do your fists clench tightly...
or do you kiss palm to palm?
sweetly in a mid nights breeze
caught up in a romance
just a moment more.. and commitment is over
we are ahead physically
and mentally behind
progressing so fast that we have forgotten where to go
what to do
how to love
such an obvious idea
projected upon this vast wall
this empty space
vacant of thought and passion
strip our race of all superficial
will there be anything left when its all over
once this game has come to an end
once the fad has died out
twisted so tightly
we have been dragged along this leash
showing us our boundries
an outline for life
we know so much about everything
but can you tell me why the blue bird sings?
and why the swans love forever one mate?
living alone if one shall die.
an eternal bond.. a mate for life
no questions
no strings attatched
a love for all seasons
all species...
such a primitive idea.. so commonly overlooked
brushed aside
like a withered leaf fallen from the great oak
they preach so violently about llove
and lust and claim to know it all
but they cant tell me why the bluebird sings..
its echos remain a mystery
fore, anyone can listen...
but only few can understand
there is no equation to compute...
no logic to this puzzle
tis' life...
the bluebird sings for those who have no boundries
for those who shall forever love...
-------------------
did you ever think that this blade could push so far?
that the blood could be drawn so fast?
that life can amke you do crazy things?
did you ever fear not waking in the morning
and live each day as if its your last?
did you remeber to tell everyone how you feel about them..
have you said all of your thank yous
breathed in all this fresh air?
did you walk along the ocean...
nothing to obstruct your view just a vast blue pool of forever...
have you let the wind rush through your hair
and sweep across your chest?
did you hold yourself like no one could be better?
and think like you could never be wrong?
have you indulged yourself so deeply into something that you feel so amazingly beautiful?
have you felt truly happy?
have you planted a flower.. and given something back to the world?
have you waved to a lonely person..
or helped someone in need?
live each day as if youll never get another chance...
breathe each breath liek youll never breathe again.
will you leave this place having made a difference?
or will your presence be overlooked?
like the millions before...
candles burning to the bottom of the wick
only to be replaced by a new?
live like each day is your last...
and never regret...
-----------------------------
fear not for dying...
fear for living forever...forever without a meaning...
tis' not the end of your journey..
your glass is not yet empty
just vacant for time
waiting to be filled again..
once youve reached the bottom the only way to go is up.
bubbles flowing from your mouth
air bottled up inside
water filling your lungs.
and you can see the light of day above you
and you can feel its warmth just out of reach
and you want so badly to swim upwards
but your body will not move
will not swim
will not breath
all of life flashing before you
regret after regret
every could have been pulling you below...
and a vision of what you were floats above you
just a vacant soul waiting
waiting to die...
and when pulled to the bottom..
waiting to be rescued,
rescued not from death
but from life
a life without meaning can kill...
as the water slowly takes over your body
you think to yourself...
if only life gave second chances...
if only things were as they seem in movies
if only reality werent so permanent...
life is death... and each day we plunge into this bottomless pit of liquid
this blue susbstance which decides our fate.
bubbles flowing from your mouth
air bottled up inside
water fills your lungs.
and you can see the light of day above you
and you can feel its warmth just out of reach
and you want so badly to swim upwards...
a black figure appears in sight
a life line... a second chance
will you take it?
---------------------------
two hearts dwelling in one body
two minds bottled into one
in unity you stand
together.. but still so alone
baggy clothes can only cover so much
lurking in the depths of you
its waiting
are you ready
can you handle this
can you hold on long enough to make it through
you are the creator of a life..
the worlds last link to evolution
if never were for our generation
soon our world would fall.
if killed off and brushed aside
we all would die in time.
and this nation would be purified.
taste not the sour of the apple.
but the sweet of the nourishment..
two hearts dwelling in one body
two minds bottled into one
in unity you stand
together.. but still so alone
----------------------
i cannot face the evils in this world
i cannot stand when the evil is myself
i cannot love when love is tainted
and cannot look into this mirror when this mirrors lined with hell..
a link to all despondent
a love which has gone a wry
tasteless, but still so sour
in each bite a toxic fumes teh reason why
why we all lie tained..
sit sick and full of hate
teh evils in the music
heavens far too late
they wont hear it
wont have any good news
will it be heaven or be hell
how shall one dare to choose
such a dangerous restriction
borderline of insanity
slap this face off my projection
and slowly melt down all of me
in sickness i lay crying
i am nothing yet i am all
lack of faith and lack of love
it is now that i shall fall
give it time and i will crumble
peice by peice returning to this soil
into teh depths of satans layer
when my skin will start to boil
and every sin inside of me
evolving into something new
all iw ant and all i need
just searching for something true
i wish to help all and make it better
give the poor much wealth
when the truth is i cannot help at all
if i cant even help myself
2 commentz |
you better fucking comment!!
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GoLdIe18
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::
2004 4 April :: 2.07pm
:: Mood: anxious
:: Music: Blink 182*
SoOo ExCitIng MonTh oF ApRil*:
cant stop thinking bout the things to come this month..starting this monday its gonna be a fun busy exciting time heres an overview of every day cause who knows when ill decide to write again or even when Ill have time to write again...: EnJoY :)
Monday April 5th:
-one year and one month with adam<3
-school
-pesach starts at sundown...seder @ lanas
-away game for lacrosse in braintree
-doctors apt. for ankle :(
Tuesday April 6th:
-pesach...seder @ scotts
-bat mitzvah-2 yr anniv. april 6 2002
-school
-lacrosse
Wednesday April 7th:
-pesach
-school
-lacrosse
-dentist apt.
-adam comes home :)
Thursday April 8th:
-passover
-school
-lacrosse
Friday April 9th:
-pesach
-good friday NO SCHOOL!!
-lacrosse
-going out at night
Saturday April 10th:
-pesach
-LiNdSeY's PaRtY (w/girls night)
Sunday April 11th:
-pesach
-lacrosse
-prozdor
-JeN's PaRtY
Monday April 12th:
-pesach
-school
-lacrosse
Tuesday April 13th:
-pesach ends :) thank you lord!
-school
-lacrosse
Wednesday April 14th:
-school
-lacrosse
-prozdor
Thursday April 15th:
-school
-lacrosse
Friday April 16th:
-school
-lacrosse
-vacation starts after school
-partyyinnn the night awayyy!
Saturday April 17th:
-YeLlOwCaRd & SoMeThIng CoRpRaTe with Kay and Steph...((maybee now))
Sunday April 18th:
-holocaust memorial thing in Boston
Monday April 19th:
-resting up...
-sleeping over Randall's....
Tuesday April 20th:
-LEAVE FOR MONTREAL!!!!! w/prOzDoRkz
Wednesday April 21st:
-MONTREAL!!!!! w/prOzDoRkz
Thursday April 22nd:
-home at night from MONTREAL! w/prOzDoR
Friday April 23rd:
-lacrosse
-resting alottttt
Saturday April 24th:
-prozdor semi!
-lacrosse
Sunday April 25th:
-lacrosse
-prozdor
Monday April 26th:
-school
-lacrosse
Tuesday April 27th:
-school
-lacrosse
Wednesday April 28th:
-school
-lacrosse
-mom & dad leave for vegas... ;-) :-) :-p
-pdor jew school
Thursday April 29th:
-school
-lacrosse
-mom and dad away
Friday April 30th:
-school
-lacrosse
-mom and dad away
-PARTY?
SPRING CONVENTION IS MAY 6-8th I CANT FREAKIN WAIT! I LOVE N E R U S Y forever!!!
CAMP PEMBROKE- 87 DAYS LADIES! get syced cause yrush 2004 will make this summer unforgetable! rock on girls!!! xoxox
***Come Fly Away With Me To Never Never Land Like Peter Pan And Tink Well Be Together Forever and Ever*** ~Jodes
you better fucking comment!!
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