mudpiegrl
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2005 16 December :: 1.34pm
now i have an immense amount of shame. i want to hide. i want to die. why did i tell anyone? i know. because i wanted to change my image. i knew that before. i knew that and i told people. i guess all i wanted in the first place was to be told that i should have no doubts, btu the only person who could convince me didnt. i wish he had. i wish he loved me, too. now, ive hurt myself and everyone around me. how dumb, how perfectly stupid i am. that doesnt make anything better. i see how the cycle perpetuates. i wont do it again though.
what do i want? why does everything feel so wrong? why do i ask so many questions? why does it hurt that everyone is angry at me...why?
1 people are in a Solitary Shell |
Are you in a Solitary Shell?
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mudpiegrl
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2005 12 December :: 9.00am
pigeons!
if you want a little entertainment, go to google and type in cold pigeon and find the images. all the ones that their heads hidden in their little bodies look like the ones i pass everyday. it makes me kinda sad that they're so cold because it's not their fault that people are dumb and feed them, but at the same time, they are sooo cute.
i woke up really late...like six-thirty. that's usually when am getting on the train. but oh, well. technically, i should be in class now until nine-twenty, but i didnt want to walk in a half hour late when, lately, ive been walking in fifteen minutes late anyway. so ill just ask someone on facebook for the notes.
i asked zak to drive me on wednesday in the morning and he could take my car, but i get the feeling that wont go over so well with my parents, so am going to talk to tyler to see if he will take me with him on the cta. then he can drive me and i dont have to worry about my car at all. im actually kind of excited to go to al's on wednesday, but it's kind of a pain in the ass because of the car and i need like twenty dollars (of which i have negative) and i'll probably get bitched at by the vh kids who depend heavily on me for my car. that never makes me feel good to think about.
ama go study for japanese because we have the chapter five test today and it's the last and then on wednesday i only have a history final and a party!!! woo! but i have to finish a paper before friday, which is weird, cuz the last class is today...
Are you in a Solitary Shell?
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sweetyas
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2005 11 December :: 1.22am
Finals make me nervous....i havent studied yet. That sux.
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Anytngbtordinary
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2005 10 December :: 8.34pm
Ok just cuz i'm on a xanga break doesn't mean i cant write in here right?
Good cuz i'm bored.
And I'm eating through this thing of cookie dough. Its amazing.
I've lost weight since I got here so its ok...because this is amazing.
This is more of my analyzation journal anyway.
Once i finish this cookie dough im going to study...it needs to be done.
I learned all about plants today...gymnosperms, angiosperms, conifers...haha man its super. I know all of their reproduction cycles too ::nods:: Im so smart...::rolls eyes::
I need Kingdom Hearts...it stops all thoughts.
I've hit a certain degree of insanity, i've hit it with a large hammer that doesnt even exist.
O.o
a'g;lhjrh-]iikht
I'm going to study and pray that it saves me from myself.
~Jackie
2 people are in a Solitary Shell |
Are you in a Solitary Shell?
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Anytngbtordinary
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2005 10 December :: 8.34pm
Ok just cuz i'm on a xanga break doesn't mean i cant write in here right?
Good cuz i'm bored.
And I'm eating through this thing of cookie dough. Its amazing.
I've lost weight since I got here so its ok...because this is amazing.
This is more of my analyzation journal anyway.
Once i finish this cookie dough im going to study...it needs to be done.
I learned all about plants today...gymnosperms, angiosperms, conifers...haha man its super. I know all of their reproduction cycles too ::nods:: Im so smart...::rolls eyes::
I need Kingdom Hearts...it stops all thoughts.
I've hit a certain degree of insanity, i've hit it with a large hammer that doesnt even exist.
O.o
a'g;lhjrh-]iikht
I'm going to study and pray that it saves me from myself.
~Jackie
Are you in a Solitary Shell?
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mudpiegrl
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2005 10 December :: 3.07am
So you're afraid of coming to conclusions [about yourself], thereby possibly nullifying other possibilities.
You want to remain open minded to the point that you can't trust your own intuitions.
true for me?
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toki
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2005 9 December :: 3.10am
GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!
I'm a fucking mess. I don't even know why.
Plus, I'm tired of drunk people. I just want to sleep.
Are you in a Solitary Shell?
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sweetyas
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2005 8 December :: 1.14pm
I failed my bio test...i really honestly dont think i can become a doctor. I am failing freshman year biology!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Yea not good. Fuck i screwed my friends speech over so bad so now i have to go help her...we have to add a minute to her speech. Adios
Are you in a Solitary Shell?
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mudpiegrl
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2005 4 December :: 12.59am
have you ever been walking up the stairs and you forget that there isnt a step...so you prepare for one...and sort of lunge forward because of surprise and then upright yourself, and look around to make sure no one's looking?
Read more..
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