xsilentxsuicidex
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2005 27 January :: 7.17am
I love you!
Even though it's in 11 days.
"You're right! It sure is."
;D
Curiousity screams
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wonderelf
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2005 26 January :: 7.36pm
:: Mood: shocked
:: Music: good charlotte-movin' on
today was a shitty day. day three of my cold, day two of staying off school. trying to hold down barf all day wasn't to my liking, lol. i sat on the internet alllllllll daaaaaaaay loooooooong...doing nothing...listening over and over and over and over and OVER again to the media-player-thingie on http://www.lpjz.com...haha, i have the cd, and yet, i stream it...anyhoo...
around 2pm, my dad called off of his cellphone. welllll, here's how it went.
me=italics
him=regular
hello?
rinne?
yes? daddy?
why are you home?
i'm sick
oh...is...is your mom there?
no...why?
i need to talk to her...what's her work number?
###-####, i think...why, what's wrong?
it's gram, sweetie, she's not doing good...
oh my god, what happened? is everything okay?
she's had several heartattacks this week, and a few days ago, they had to fly her to hershey medical center...tiff and i didn't leave here until after midnight last night...we came back today to get pap and bring him to see her...
daddy, is everything going to be okay?
she's in surgery right now...i'm going to go and call your mom. say a prayer for gram.
alright, i will...love you
love you too, bye
bye
much better than the last phone conversation, length-wise, as well as the fact that it wasn't as weird - but still, it wasn't good...so alllllllllll day i was worried sick...
...i...never...prayed...
well, the rest of the day was boring. around 5:45 pm, my dad called - but nobody got it. he didn't leave a message, so my first instinct was that something was wrong. well, about ten minutes later...he called again.
my great-grandmother, someone very close to me passed away. i loved her so much, and never again will i see her. it's so heartbreaking to me...before, when others close to me died - well, that's the thing - they normally weren't too close to me...and besides, the last few times anyone has died, i've been too young to understand death. but now, i understand perfectly, and god has taken someone very, very, very special and close to me, away from me. my mom told me not to put this on my journal, but i felt that i had to get my feelings "out," because any time i talk to her now, it's so, so, sooooooooooooo weird and i can't talk without bawling. i can't do anything without bawling right now - it sucks.
well, i'm going to go now. although she's gone, please continue praying for my family and i, and please, pray for god to continue watching over my grandma, although we already know that she's probably in heaven. :)
thank you so much annette for your support!! -pokes the comments to the entry below this one- you're such a great friend and i'm so glad that you're willing to be there and help me through these hard times. thanks again. lylas!
Curiousity screams
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ImUgly
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2005 26 January :: 4.28pm
:: Music: fear and wonder(dimmu borgir)
schliess auf diese tur
i got my shoes today. they are so rad. oxfords own. im pretty sure theyre gonna be the next emo kid shoes. if not, who cares. at least i think theyre awsome.
tomorrow im going to chicago. ill be back on saturday i think. it should be fun. i burned 3 cds today. it took forever cuz my computer's a bastard.
Curiousity screams
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xsilentxsuicidex
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2005 26 January :: 1.36pm
:: Mood: Woo.
:: Music: People yelling. YAY BLACK PEOPLE!!
I are at school.
I'm so rebelious. Updating my journal at school. Ph33r me. Haha. Me and Dylan are sitting here messing around on the computers, and the substitute doesn't even notice. It's funny. (:
I am kind of bored. Today has gone pretty good. Three substitutes so far. But next, I have Mrs. Connors. UGH! I hate her. ;_;
I'm done for now. I'll update later!
~Zennousha
PS: I loff my wegro. (:
Curiousity screams
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xsilentxsuicidex
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2005 25 January :: 6.57pm
:: Mood: <3
:: Music: Letter Kills- Hold My Heart
Think of me when you're dreaming, and know that I'm wide awake, thinking of you...
Wow. Today went surprisingly well.
Mr. Riel was in a really bad mood, but we sang a lot, so I was happy... But when it came to the Small Ensamble thing, I was the only Soprano 1. So... I was by myself singing that part. It wasn't too bad. But I kept getting off pitch. Oh well.
I sat by myself during gym. We were outside. Just Wadsworth's class. I have no friends except for Marcus in that class, and he always plays basketball. I'm scared of basketballs. (I'm being serious.) So I sat on a bench and read my book, and wrote a paper for Riel. I felt like a NERD. I like the word nerd a lot now. Ha.
Mrs. Johnson is gone! YAYY!
Mr. Moore's class was cool, as always...
Didn't read for AR time! Woo.
;_; Mean people pushed me down at break. ):
Mrs. Glasgow wasn't here today. (: I didn't read at all. I messed around online for the whole class period. Haha.
Mrs. Connors isn't taking our notebooks up, the one time I have it all together. Just my fucking luck. -_- Oh well.
I love John more than he loves me.
He is my bit... I mean, love. (:
~Zennousha
Curiousity screams
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xsilentxsuicidex
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2005 24 January :: 7.55pm
:: Mood: *sigh*
:: Music: Crossfade- So Far Away
Note to self: I miss you terribly.
Today was alright. I hate Mondays, though. I was so exhausted... In Chorus, we worked on Lullabye. I like it a lot. And I have the Soprano 1 part. ^_^ I'm excited, but nervous. I'm in a small ensamble, and Rhianna and I have a duet. We have to perform them at some PTA meeting. o_o;; TEH NERVOUSNESS.
Started Health class today... We went to the weight room that I didn't even know we had... Then, Mrs. Johnson wasn't there. Substitute teacher for 2 weeks. w00t w00t.
We had a really deep conversation with Mr. Moore about drugs and stuff... About how life was going to be different in High School, and those were the years that determined your future. He also told us that lots of guys use girls in relationships, haha. But, yeah... It was neat.
Mrs. Glasgow wants to talk to me about a paper I wrote... She didn't seem mad... And she gave me an A+, but I'm still nervous.
I think I did good on the test in Mrs. Connors class. I totally cheated, though. Haha. I wrote all the formulas on a peice of paper. Oh well. ^^;;
Apparently, my new name is Delicious Dana. Along with Super Staci, Joey the jew, and Jolly Jesse. "DAGGON, DELICIOUS DANA!" "That man is DEEEADDDD! Lemme, tell yuh!"
...Completely different note: I'm somewhat nervous about John starting public school. Haha, I feel like a mother sending my kid off to their first day of Kindergarten. :P But yeah... o.o Paranoia. Gah.
Speaking of which, he called today. We didn't get to talk much, but it was good to hear his voice. (Yeah, I'm lame... Shut up.) I think I have free long distance. I'll check with my dad. I really miss talking to him...
I have Phantom of the Opera songs stuck in my head... and it's kind of depressing me. Oh well. =/
We never said our love was ever-green, or as unchanging as the sea, but if you ever find a moment, stop and think of me.
1 Open this door |
Curiousity screams
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xsilentxsuicidex
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2005 23 January :: 10.32pm
:: Mood: I love John?
:: Music: Eminem- Ass Like That
There will never be a day when I won't think of you...
Saw Phantom of the Opera today. It was so good. I saw it on Broadway over the summer, and I'm reading the book. None of them are the same. Ha. It was really good, nontheless.
I'm talking to John. Yay. I can't wait til I talk to him on the phone again, though...
I'ma talk to John then go to bed. Monday tomorrow. Ugh.
Note to self: I miss you terribly. This is what we call a tragedy. Come back to me, come back to me, to me...
1 Open this door |
Curiousity screams
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wonderelf
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2005 23 January :: 7.46pm
:: Mood: accomplished
:: Music: ciara/missy elliot- 1, 2 step
happy birthday to my daddy! (:
hey...check out my new away message!
Alright, kiddies! Listen up!
Step 1- Put Green Day in your CD Player ((Any song, any CD))
Step 2- Start singing the song; right before the chorus, make up your own words and make a song. Make sure that the song deals with or is along the lines of getting out of school tomorrow for a snow day.
Step 3- Repeat.
Step 4- Before bed, sing your song again. And then pray. Pray pray pray. PRAY, DAMNIT. PRAY THAT WE WILL GET OUT TOMORROW.
Now. Why do this? Because. Green Day brings good luck to even the worstestest of peopleses. Just do it. And don't forget to worship all of the band, while you're at it.
That is all.
5 Open this door |
Curiousity screams
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wonderelf
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2005 22 January :: 8.43pm
:: Mood: artistic
:: Music: death cab for cutie-photobooth
Cocktail
?? Which Alcoholic Drink Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla
Green Day | Created by crazychick425 and taken 36 times on bzoink! | | Green Days music. | | Whats your favorite CD? | International Superhits...it has all the good songs <3 | | Whats your favorite song? | Boulevard of Broken Dreams, Waiting | | The Band. | | Whos your favorite member? | Billie Joe | | Why? | He's hawt <3 | | Do you look up to any of them? | Sure | | If you do.why? | They rock | | Do you think Billie Joe is sexy? | Yah yah | | Do you think Tre is the coolest person ever? | Mhmm, he's so funny | | Mike.The most normal of them all? | I guess? | | Ok.This was short | | Are you gonna go listen to Green Day Now? | I already am | | Was this quiz boring? | No, it dealt with Green Day | Create a Survey | Search Surveys | Go to bzoink! |
Green day Questions!!! | Created by xgirlgonewildxx and taken 40 times on bzoink! | | Small talk | | Hey, hows it going? | Good | | Oh i see so anyway do you like green day? | Hell yeah | | oh... i do! i love them... why or why dont you? | Their music kicks ass | | Have you heard american idiot? | Duh | | If you dont like them why are you taking this quiz? | I do like them, you idiot | | If you do like them stay if not leave Retard.. | Stop talking to the mirror | | Anyway have you seen the american idiot music video? | Yes | | do you have any of their cds? (which ones?) | All of them | | Do you know any of the guys in the band names? | Dug | | If you dont itz billie mike and tre! I fantasize about billie! | Ok... | | I have a green day pillow case and pins..do you? | Maybe | | Do you live for Green day? | Yes | | Have you ever seen them in concert? | No | | This quiz sucked......... :) | Kinda | Create a Survey | Search Surveys | Go to bzoink! |
Which Or which? (Green day Preferences? | Created by GreenDazedGrrl and taken 167 times on bzoink! | | >>Songs<< | | One For the RazorBacks Or Scattered? | Scattered | | Having a Blast Or At the Library? | Having a Blast | | Longview Or Basket Case? | Undecided | | PopRocks And Coke Or Maria? | Poprocks & Coke | | Church On Sunday Or No one Knows? | No One Knows | | J.A.R Or 2000 Light years Away? | 2000 Light Years Away | | Nice Guys Finish Last Or Green Day? | Nice Guys Finish Last | | Do Da da Or Stuck With Me? | Stuck with Me ((Which is, in reality, if you know the history, the REAL Do Da Da today...)) | | I wanna Be alone Or Going To Pasaquala? | Going to Pasaquala | | Dissapearing Boy Or Blood, Sex,And Booze? | Blood, Sex, and Booze | | Armatage Shanks Or Bab's Uvula Who? | Bab's Uvula Who? | | >>Band<< | | Who Is your Favorite Band Member? | Billie Joe | | Who is Your Second? | Tre | | Third? | Mike | | What Is your Favorite Song? | Boulevard of Broken Dreams/Waiting | | What Is your Favorite Cd? | International Superhits - it has a mix of their bestest songs | | Ever Been To a Concert? | No :'( | | If You Haven't, Ever Hear Thier Live Stuff? | Yes | | Do you Know What Billie Has Been Arrested For? | Yes | | Do you Know what Feature Tre Is Missing From His body? | Yes | | Do You Know What Happened To Mike's Parents? | Yes | Create a Survey | Search Surveys | Go to bzoink! |
[the alphabet survey] | Created by thetoasternetwork and taken 9445 times on bzoink! | | Act your age | 14 | | Born on what day of the week | Monday | | Chore you hate | Dusting | | Dad's name | Anthony | | Essentail make-up item | Lip gloss | | Favorite actors/actresses | Joaquin Pheonix-Actor | | Gold or sliver | Silver | | Hometown | :x | | Instruments you play | Alto Saxophone, Electric Guitar | | Job title | Student...lol | | Kids | None | | Living arrangements | I live with my mom | | Mom's name | Mary Jo | | Number of socks you own | Who knows | | Overnight hospital stays | 2 | | Phobia | A lot | | Quote you like | "If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?" | | Religious affiliation | Christian | | Siblings | None | | Time you woke up today | 9:23 am | | Unusual habits | Looking and remembering what time I woke up... | | Vicious thing you've done | Um... | | Worst habit | Biting the skin around my nails | | X-rays you've had | A million...no, probably...um...about 30 | | Your favorite season | Fall | | Zodiac sign | Leo | Create a Survey | Search Surveys | Go to bzoink! |
Have You Ever? | Created by voidedINK and taken 8744 times on bzoink! | | Have you ever hit someone forcefully? | No | | Have you ever thrown anything at a moving car? | Yes | | Have you ever been in a fist fight? | No | | Have you ever laughed so hard you cried? | Yes | | Have you ever hit an animal on the road? | No | | Have you ever seen a Beatles film? | No | | Have you ever cussed? | Yes | | Have you ever been on a subway? | Yes | | Have you ever taught a little kid to cuss? | Yes | | Have you ever cheated on a test/exam? | Yes | | Have you ever skipped school? | Yes | | Have you ever egged someones house? | No | | Have you ever gotten a computer virus? | Yes | | Have you ever cried for no reason at all? | Yes | | Have you ever missed someone? | Yes | Create a Survey | Search Surveys | Go to bzoink! |
**~Long Survey~** (w/ good grammar and decent, unique questions) | Created by donttalktome and taken 5998 times on bzoink! | | The Basics and Some Personals | | Name: | Corinne | | Age: | 14 | | Shoe Size: | 9-ish | | Height: | 5'3" | | Weight: | You should never ask a girl her weight...lol | | Pants Size: | I dunno | | Shirt Size: | It depends | | Innie or Outie? | Innie | | Love Questions | | Are you in Love? | Yes | | Are you single or taken? | Single | | If single, for how long? | Forever | | If taken, for how long? | Never | | If taken, by whom? | Nobody | | Do you like guys or girls? | Guys | | What do you think about Sporty guys? | ...yeah | | Smart? | Sure | | Dorky? | Umm | | Popular? | No | | Your Favorites | | Kind of Food: | Anything German | | Color: | Orange | | Song: | Boulevard of Broken Dreams/Waiting | | Band: | Green Day | | Singer: | ... | | CD: | Green Day-International Superhits | | Kind of Music: | Any type of rock...mainly Punk | | Animal: | GIRAFFE | | Place to be? | Home | | Vacation spot: | Ocean City | | Actor: | Joaquin Pheonix | | Actress: | Renee Zellweger | | Comedian: | ... | | Soap Opera: | ... | | Day Time Talk Show: | OPRAH...lol...j/k | | Game Show: | The Price is Right | | All Around Favorite Show: | The OC | | Drink: | Dr Pepper...Dirty Bananas... | | Restaurant: | The Stube <3 | | Number: | 20, I guess...? | | Letter: | C? | | Word: | Avacado | | Your Short Opinion on.. | | George W. Bush: | For | | Gay Marriage: | Against | | Rocketing Gas Prices: | Blaaaaah | | Minimum Wage ($6.75): | EW FUCK IT | | Drunk Driving: | woohoo | | Legal Driving Age: | Screw it | | Anorexia: | Against | | Mary-Kate and Anorexia: | Against | | Lindsay Lohan (18) and her 23-year-old boyfriend: | She's a slut, I guess I understand | | Young Marriages: | Why not | | Young Parents: | No | | Pregnency without a Marriage: | Ew no | | Telemarketers: | They need to all go to hell | | Pop Quizzes: | Ewwwwww | | This Survey: | It kinda bores me | | Label Your Friends! | | Loudest: | Annette...Chelsea...LOL ((good times at the movies...good times, good times)) | | Quietest: | Jessy | | Nicest: | Jessy | | Person who doesn't think before they speak: | Me | | Outspoken: | Annette | | Annoying: | Claire | | Popular or has best chance of becoming popular: | Annette/Leah | | Best Dressed: | Leah | | Worst Dressed: | I don't make friends with people that dress ugly | | Sweetest: | Evan ((he's sweet to Annette)) | | Giving: | Jessy | | Selfish: | Me | | Ungrateful: | Me | | Social Butterfly: | Me | | Will be crowned Most Likely to Succeed by their class: | Victoria | | This or That | | Soda/Punch | Punch | | Sour/Sweet | Sweet | | Summer/Winter | Winter | | Christmas/Thanksgiving | Christmas | | Easy/Challenging | Easy | | Light/Dark | Dark | | Sun/Moon | Moon | | TV/Movies | Movies | | Out with Friends/Out with Family | Out with Friends | | Cat/Dog | Cat | | Penguin/Dolphin | Dolphin | | Book/Magazine | Magazine | | Last Questions about the Survey | | Did you like the survey? | Not really | | Would you reccomend it to a friend? | No | | Where will you put your results? | On my journal | | Thanks for coming... | Whatever | Create a Survey | Search Surveys | Go to bzoink! |
Curiousity screams
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xsilentxsuicidex
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2005 22 January :: 8.22pm
:: Music: Screeching Weasel- You Are My Sunshine
Please don't take my sunshine away...
I just reread that last entry, and accidentally bolded "I still love my ex", which is completely not true. Ha.
Aisha came over, and straightened my hair... And I looked for things I could get John for his Birthday. Aisha and Rhianna both have their dresses for formal, and it's not until April. Ha. Losers. (I'll probably get mine last minute. Oh well.)
I miss being able to talk to John often. It sucks. I miss him a lot. I'm really sleepy. Carly woke me up at like, 7. Ugh. I probably won't go to bed anytime soon, though.
I've felt pretty much emotionless for the past couple of days. I mean, for the most part. I got to talk to John a few times, and then I was happy. Otherwise, I felt... blah. I donno.
I don't have much to update about.
I love you, John.
1 Open this door |
Curiousity screams
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wonderelf
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2005 22 January :: 10.41am
:: Mood: anxious
:: Music: green day-haha you're dead
mmkay, doing some green day quizzes...:
i couldn't choose my favorite...so i randomly picked hitchin' a ride <3--
Curiousity screams
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wonderelf
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2005 22 January :: 10.39am
:: Mood: amused
HAHAHA! I DID EVA ((no, not literally...haha...that's annette's job LOL)), AND LOOK WHAT I GOT! HAHA!
sorry, i just thought that...all of these songs were pretty funny to be matched with a guy...lol...
Curiousity screams
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wonderelf
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2005 22 January :: 10.26am
:: Mood: crappy
:: Music: mest-some song
here, i did that song thing for some of my friends and family, lol...
HAHA-THIS ONE WAS FUNNY--
time for family...
bootylicious...date rape...? grandma?!?!? wtf have you been DOING???
((yes annette, this is the CRAZY one! lol!))
...okay, that's enough...lol...
Curiousity screams
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wonderelf
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2005 22 January :: 10.19am
:: Mood: sad
:: Music: mest-burning bridges
my dad called today.
frank decided to be an retard and pick up the phone. well, anyways, so, i was forced to talk to him...the first in what, two months? here's our conversation.
me=italic
him=normal
hello?
is this my long lost daughter? that i haven't talked to since around christmas?
yes...hi...
it's me...
i know...
i've been trying to call you the past 3 weeks...
oh really? i haven't heard about that...
yeah, i've been leaving messages for you...
oh
...and your mom always calls back for you and tells me that you can't come over.
oh...um...yeah...i've had a lot of plans lately...
yeah...so...are you excited about the snow?
yup
well i was just calling, i thought i would make my weekly attempt...
oh...well...i'm trying to have a sleepover here tonight...
oh...alright then...i'll let you go...love you bye
lo-
he hung up on me...
so i went upstairs and told my mom to never pick up the phone again if it was him. and then i came down here. and now i'm so confused and guilty and upset that i'm bawling like a baby...
2 Open this door |
Curiousity screams
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xsilentxsuicidex
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2005 21 January :: 5.16pm
:: Mood: Moderate.
:: Music: The Exies- Ugly
Melted bread.
Put everything that's true about you in bold type.
01. I miss somebody right now
02. I don't watch much TV these days
03. I love olives
04. I love sleeping
05. I own lots of books
06. I wear glasses or contact lenses
07. I love to play video games
08. I've tried marijuana.
09. I've watched porn movies (...Only 'cause they're funny.)
10. I have been in a threesome
11. Ive had psycho-ex in a past relationship
12. I believe honesty is usually the best policy
13. I have acne free skin.
14. I like and respect Al Sharpton
15. I curse frequently
16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year
17. I have a hobby
18. I've been told I can suck the chromes off a trailer hitch.
19. I carry my lighter everywhere with me at times
20. I'm really, really smart at times.
21. I've broken someone's bone/bones
22. I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal
23. I love the rain
24. I'm paranoid at times
25. I own a 90's pop CD
26. I need money right now
27. I love Sushi
28. I talk really, really fast sometimes
29. I have fresh breath in the morning
30. I have long hair
31. I have lost money in Las Vegas
32. I have at least one brother and/or one sister
33. I was born in a big city
34. I shave my legs (females) or face (males) on a regular basis
35. I have a twin
36. I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past
37. I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
38. I like the way that I look sometimes
39. I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months (No big lies)
40. I have brown eyes
41. I am usually pessimistic
42. I have a lot of mood swings
43. I think prostitution should be legalized
44. I think Britney Spears is hot
45. I have cheated on a test
46. I have a hidden talent
47. I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
48. I think that I'm funny
49. I am currently single
50. I have kissed someone of the same sex (Not like made out or anything...)
51. I enjoy talking on the phone (With people I'm comfortable with)
52. I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants (Most of the time... Or whenever no one's around.)
53. I love to shop.
54. I would rather shop than eat
55. I would classify myself as ghetto. (Hell yes, my brothers.)
56. I'm bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders
57. I'm obsessed with my online journal
58. I don't hate anyone.
59. I'm a pretty good dancer
60. I don't think Mike Tyson raped Desiree Washington
61. I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother
62. I have a cell phone
63. I believe in God
64. I watch MTV/Vh1 on a daily basis.
65. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
66. I love drama
67. I have never been in a real romantic relationship before (Hopefully this one will change that...)
68. I've rejected someone before
69. I currently have a crush on or in love with someone
70. I don't know what I want to do for the rest of my life
71. I want to have children in the future
72. I have changed a diaper before
73. I've called the cops on a friend before
75. I am a member of the Tom Green fan club
76. I'm not allergic to anything
77. I have a lot to learn
78. I have dated someone at least 10 years older or younger
79. I plan on seeing Ice Cube's newest "Friday" movie
80. I am very shy around the opposite sex sometimes
81. I am online a lot
82. I have at least 5 away messages saved
83. I have tried alcohol before
84. I have made a move on a friend's significant other in the past
85. I own the South Park movie.
86. I have avoided assignments at work/school to be on Xanga or Livejournal
87. When I was a kid I played "the birds and the bees" with a neighbor or chum
88. I enjoy some country music
89. I want to beat britney spears with a rock for over an hour
90. I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
91. I watch soap operas whenever I can
92. I'm obsessive, anal retentive, and often a perfectionist
93. I have used my sexuality to advance my career
94. I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
95. I know all the words to Slick Rick's "Children's Story" close 96.
97. I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it
98. I have dated a close friend's ex
99. I'm happy as of this moment
100. I was born in the 90s but I am truly a child of the 80s
101. I haven't showered in two days. . . and I like it.
102. I'd rather be in Germany than anywhere else.
103. I’m obsessed with getting manicures/pedicures
104. I want to visit Italy either for the first time or again
105. I'm one of those types who is easily amused; the stupidest of things can make me laugh.
106. I have cried in the last week
107. I have flirted with someone I didn't like just to get something out of it.
108. I like at least three British Comedy TV Shows
109. I've lived in one place for more than 10 years
110. I have overslept and missed my classes
111. I've been on TV
112. I listen to music no matter what I am doing
113. I yell at the tv when I watch sports
114. I miss being homeless
115. I am obsessed with WB dramas
116. I was in a situation where I almost died.
117. I think that Burger King has the best burgers
118. I still love my ex
119. I voted. (HELL YEAH! I RAN FOR PRESIDENT, BITCHES!)
120. I'm really shy around the same sex sometimes.
121. I am partially gay and very much proud of who I am
122. I’ll sing no matter where I am or who I’m with
123. People generally confuse me.
124. I'm a stoner and proud
125. I'm in love.
126. I am really mad at someone right now but will probably get over it...maybe
127. I love someone that will never appreciate how much i care for them
128. I want to be somewhere else right now
129. I love Al Green and George Clinton & Parliament Funkadelic
130. I love downloading illegal music
131. I have the best friends in the entire world
132. I love my car more than life itself
133. I'm part of American University Class of 2009.
134. I like the way black nailpolish looks.
135. I love using the word "ya'll".
136. I play a musical instrument and enjoy it
137. I'm dead sexy, and conceited.
138. I would like a new life at some points.
139. Anything would be better than this right now.
140. Some one has chosen Halo over me
141. I enjoy classical music.
142. I have been to at least five other states (and driving through them doesn't count).
143. I would rather read than watch TV or play video games.
144. I'm addicting to Live Action Role Playing
145: I've payed monthly to play atleast 3 online video games (not all at once though, mind you)
146: I think penguins would make one of the best pets
Today was alright. Sulva made me feel really smart. There was dough, and he said, "What is that, melted bread or something?" Ha. He was being serious, too.
I love John. (:
1 Open this door |
Curiousity screams
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ImUgly
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2005 21 January :: 9.30am
:: Music: act of depression(underoath)
RAWR
im so jealous, i wanna take a baseball bat and beat someone up. have you EVER fealt THAT jealous? i think not. kevin gave my brother tickets to taste of chaos. i wanna cry. its not fair. if someone doesnt get me tickets for that feb18 show, im gonna die of envy of his posession of those tickets. ill probably not be allowed to go, but...meh. i must.
6 Open this door |
Curiousity screams
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wonderelf
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2005 20 January :: 5.29pm
:: Mood: bitchy
:: Music: pedro the lion-((insert song name here))
yaaaaaaaaay i got billie! <3 tehe
Curiousity screams
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xsilentxsuicidex
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2005 20 January :: 5.16pm
:: Mood: Meh.
:: Music: HIM- Bury Me Deep Inside Your Heart
Exsistance is merely an illusion.
...It still hasn't quite set in that he's really not coming home. I mean, I didn't get to see him much as it was, but things will still be different.
I don't know what's going to happen. I would like to try to make things work, because I love him. I think I may be being unrealistic with the thought of that. I guess I'll have to talk things over with him. He means so much to me... You guys have no idea.
If Alex and Ben could make it, I think me and John could... That is, if he wants it...
I went to school, and stayed for the whole day. I was proud of myself, although I was out of it pretty much the whole time... I've slept even less than before the past couple of nights.
I had a really good dream... One of those dreams you don't want to end. Ever. I hate that feeling you get, whenever you wake up and realize you were only dreaming. *sigh* Life is just fucking grand.
So everything is hazey, and I have no idea what is going to happen next.
I'll just leave it to fate, I guess.
1 Open this door |
Curiousity screams
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xsilentxsuicidex
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2005 19 January :: 8.16am
:: Mood: Heartbroken.
:: Music: Shinedown- 45
Swallowed by pain, as I slowly fall apart.
So John's not coming home.
And when I talked to him, I didn't get to tell him I love him.
I kind caught up in my throat, and he just said bye, and hung up. =/
I didn't sleep well. I cried for a really long time, and I think I kept Carly up. I'm not going to school today. I wouldn't be able to pay attention. Plus, I keep getting really nauscious.
I don't know... My parents keep telling me everything will be okay. My dad has a case up in Virginia and he said he'd take me to go see him if I wanted.
I can't wait until he gets his charger... I need to talk to him.
*sigh* So, here I am at home... Left alone to dwell on it.
Maybe I should've gone to school... This might not end very well.
Edit- 10:55 AM-
*sigh* The one thing I've wanted so bad for so long... Whenever I finally have it, it's gone. I hurts really bad...
He's not coming back, and I can't do anything about it...
I fell asleep and woke up like 4 times now. It gets harder to fall back asleep each time, and it hurts to wake up.
Even the nightmares make me forget that you're not here...
Edit- 11:44 AM- I keep wondering what's going to happen next... And I know I've said it before, but I truley mean it when I say I will wait for you... Even if it is forever... I mean this with all of my heart. You are my everything.
2 Open this door |
Curiousity screams
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xsilentxsuicidex
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2005 18 January :: 6.51pm
...I can't breathe. It hurts to cry...
He's not coming back...
Curiousity screams
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xsilentxsuicidex
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2005 18 January :: 5.02pm
:: Mood: Depressed.
:: Music: The Killers- Mr. Brightside (It's about to make me cry...)
*Sigh*
I came home today. "Sick"... I've had this sinking feeling ever since Sunday night... It's not stopping. *Sigh* Hopefully, everything will turn out alright. I haven't really been able to talk to John about all of this, which sucks...
The fact that my parents are talking to me about it is making it really set in... My parents never talk to me about my personal problems... It's kind of awkward.
This song brings tears to my eyes.
Marcus told me not to leave today. He said he knew I wasn't sick, and I was just depressed, which is weird, because I thought I was hiding it pretty well... =/ Bah.
Carlos was trying to cheer me up, too. He can always make me laugh, though. "Got that Rick James in your veins." Heh.
BLAH! Life can be a real bitch. But, I'll still be optimistic. I mean, there's a reason for everything...
I feel sick to my stomache.
1 Open this door |
Curiousity screams
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wonderelf
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2005 18 January :: 2.18am
:: Mood: anxious
:: Music: nothing )':
| C | Cool | | O | Overwhelming | | R | Responsible | | I | Insane | | N | Natural | | N | Neglected | | E | Energetic |
Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com
yeah. anxious. ANXIOUS TO SLEEP. gooooooooood night.
Curiousity screams
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wonderelf
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2005 18 January :: 1.49am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: green day-extraordinary girl
ahem. is it just me, or is almost everyone on this site from michigan? or, let me narrow it down...cedar springs? i guess andy must get the word out (; lol...
...any marylanders here? o_o
2 Open this door |
Curiousity screams
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xsilentxsuicidex
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2005 17 January :: 8.05pm
:: Mood: Shitty.
:: Music: Mary J Blige ft. Ja Rule- Rainy Days
Whenever the sun shines bright, it gets so cloudy.
Keely just left. I started crying. I don't know why I don't want her to see me cry, but I don't think she ever has...
*sigh* I've cried so much today and last night... For a while I had myself convinced that nothing could mess this up, and that I would actually be happy...
I can't really eat... Carly and Keely kept trying to make me, but whatever I did eat, feels like it's coming back up soon enough. I feel so nauscious. I don't know what's wrong... It's never been this bad before. =/ I wish I knew more details, but I don't.
Just yesterday I was thinking about how no songs made me cry anymore. Heh. Man, was I wrong... I don't think I've heard a song today that didn't make me think of John.
Everyone around me keeps telling me things will be okay, and as much as I want them to be, I don't think they will. Part of me is saying that things might go back to normal, but subconsciouslly, I know it probably won't... and it hurts really bad.
I don't pray much... But I have so much in the past day...
It's scary how fast things can just change like that... It really is.
School is going to be Hell tomorrow. I'll probably end up leaving. Teachers can kiss my ass if they don't like it.
I'm rambling an awful lot. No one really reads this, though... So I guess it doesn't matter.
I couldn't sleep last night. I doubt it will be any different tonight.
John left his charger, so there goes that...
I don't even know what I'm saying anymore. I can't hold back the tears, and it sucks.
I love you, John... Even though you probably won't read this anytime soon.... You mean so much to me...
3 Open this door |
Curiousity screams
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xsilentxsuicidex
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2005 17 January :: 1.43pm
:: Mood: Fucking awful.
:: Music: Destinys Child- Emotions.
...
I don't know what's going on.
All I know is I can't stop crying.
I was so happy for such a long time. It hurts so bad to cry. I forgot what it felt like.
People keep telling me everything will be fine, and that I shouldn't worry about it... But I don't know.
---------------------------------------
Where are you now that I need you? Tears on my pillow whenever you go. Cry me a river that leads to your ocean... You'll never see me fall apart- In the words of a broken heart; its just emotions taking me over- caught up in sorrow, lost in the song... and if you will come back, come home to me, darling...
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"Cherish every day you have, you never know what the next one will bring."
1 Open this door |
Curiousity screams
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