everyone we know is growing old

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everyone we know is growing old

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:: 2009 15 July :: 5.55pm

I bought some new makeups today! They are very.. rainbow-y and wonderful :) now I can finally have the colourful look i've always wanted! But in the meantime I get to experiment and look like a whore at the same time haha

I've changed a lot. And I know that because I've made a really big mental effort to change the way I am. I'm tired of being stuck in a little box of close-mindedness about myself. I want to enjoy the things I'll know I'll enjoy and not worry so much about the social implications of it. I haven't been mean to myself or put myself down for a week plus now (i know that doesn't sound like a long time, but compared to how i used to treat myself, its a big deal). I'm able to say n when I want to and just let people be pissy if they want to be pissy.

I'm so glad I can finally just let stuff go.

and I finally don't blame myself for what happened with my brother.

So.. things are happier and a lot less stressful. Now if only I could fix my spine, things would be amazing!

1 told me | i want to hear the stories of your love for me

:: 2009 3 July :: 11.04am

so we're leaving to seattle either today or tomorrow.

my back meds aren't doing very much for me and it really sucks. i'm in constant, excrusiating pain that stops me from sleeping, moving or even sitting comfortably. it makes me cranky and it makes me want to cry. ALL THE TIME. i've even lost 30 pounds and it still hurts.. more now that 20 pounds ago i might go so far to say.

i'm not really sure what's causing the pain. it is.. spread up and down my entire spine, not just where i have the herniated disk... this pain is really getting me down. i'm going to call my doctor to see if he'll switch me back to celebrex.

i'm sleepy. i haven't felt rested in a while. and that's probably due to high levels of exercise mixed with high levels of stress and anxiety mixed with tossing and turning all night due to pain.

i'm looking forward to seeing fireworks, i'm not looking forward to any other part of going to seattle this time. lots of sitting uncomfortably, lots of standing uncomfortably. BAH vicoden is coming. cyclobenzoprine is coming. hopefully they will help.

3 told me | i want to hear the stories of your love for me

:: 2009 30 June :: 2.46pm

so.. things are tight this week.. BUT luckily next week they'll be fine.

i'm trying not to stress out over things like this, because i know, honestly, we are going to be 100% fine. maybe (probably) i'm addicted to worrying.

I asked my dad to help me pay for my COBRA since.. you know I'm not really supposed to be on his plan. he hasn't said anything. i'm hoping he's just busy.

i had my first meeting with my psychologist yesterday. i'm hoping she'll be able to help me. there was a lot of things that just came pouring out. lots of crying.

and i realised today that.. all of my BEST and FAVORITE paintings are in the hands of two of the most.. horrible.. people i've ever met. and to be totally honest, i will bet you anything that those two people destroyed those paintings. and it really really pisses me off and it acutally feels like a little piece of me dies whenever i think about it.

oh. and i'm blonde now. and i hate it... i'm hoping its just a temporary hate and i'll get used to it.

i want to hear the stories of your love for me

:: 2009 28 June :: 8.50pm

flirting with girls is SO hard when i am sober..

i feel like a creep.

i want to hear the stories of your love for me

:: 2009 28 June :: 12.17pm

so.. 4th of july is up in the air.. waiting to see when sus's orientation is..

i have an appointment with a dr on monday. super nervous and not excited in the least. i'd rather just not exist than talk to someone about my problems at this point..

no real news other than sus has a job now :) which is perfect and makes me very happy.

i have 16 weeks to lose 40 pounds. that's a little under 3 pounds a week. which i think is completely obtainable and very safe weightloss. meaning it will stay off most likely since its a slow loss.

hopefully that will help me feel better about myself.

i hate spokane.

i want to hear the stories of your love for me

:: 2009 27 June :: 6.01pm

On following God's will...
"This process makes me think of a cross-country runner. Getting to the point where it's enjoyable to run requires the runner to work and do things that may not be easy. But when the runner is in great shape, it is a true joy to run. Likewise, once we start down the path of doing the work God calls us to do, we find great joy in doing it."

1 told me | i want to hear the stories of your love for me

:: 2009 26 June :: 4.30pm

we got a slow cooker :)

happiness is my kitchen right now.

i want to hear the stories of your love for me

:: 2009 25 June :: 8.42pm

i never realized how much i love 80's and 90's music.

it brings me fluffly giddy excitement and joy.

i want to hear the stories of your love for me

:: 2009 25 June :: 7.10pm

i really love shiny toy guns. NOT le disko. but their other music.. like turn to real life.. and rocketship. they are just so cute and sweet and wonderful.. and they are all upbeat.

i have a craving for sad music. but i can't think of any that i haven't listened to a million times before. it sucks. i'm going thru new emo music withdrawls.

i want to hear the stories of your love for me

:: 2009 25 June :: 11.20am
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: beach boys - wouldn't it be nice?

oh wouldn't it?
i love when cats drag themselves along the floor on their bellies. its so silly.

my back hurts and i'm frustrated with my life. I'm so sick of these mood swings.

I'm alos very sick with feeling so untrusting all the time. i know i never thought people were inherently good, but at this point i feel like everyone's out to hurt me ultimately. it sucks. leads to much depressed feelings.

this journal is really one of my sole means of entertainment. sad.

i love the song slip like space.

i want to hear the stories of your love for me

:: 2009 24 June :: 9.54pm
:: Mood: bored

i really need to get a hobby. or actually start caring about one i have..

i'm so bored. and i don't have the energy to do anything right now.. i just am like.. a blob of painful stuff that is tired and bored a lot.

blah.

i want some excitement in my life. i need some friends.

we saw josh today finally!! he treated us to sushi and it was super amazing <3 I missed him so much! he's so skinny now.. he's lost around 30 lbs since he was admitted :/ so he's like... skeletal. poor thing..

also.. today. sex so good it made my ears get plugged up and my throat a little sore :). i haven't had an orgasim that big for a while... RAWR

i want to hear the stories of your love for me

:: 2009 23 June :: 7.58pm
:: Mood: drunk
:: Music: COME ON EILEEN!!!

so i'm a little drunk right now.. wine drunk. :)

anyway, i made some super amazingly tastey hot wings today! MMMMHMMMM they was spicy and they was moist and delicious~! they were the best hotwings i've evbetr made1

anyway. haha so.. I', thinking that the posts i've been posting have been ot relly me talking but the depression. at this point i'm prettyt sure its a chemical imbalance and not just be being a big fuckign whiner. (i know, i know, WTP haven't i just accepted that yet??)

so i've been bugging my work about COBRA (HISSSS no really it stands for the Consolidated Omnibus Budget Reconciliation Act that i think was passed in '84 or '94 but idk i can't remember. i llike the workd omnibus, or anything with omni in it ahahah) so i can go see someone and get some MEDZZZ so I can acutally enjoy the life i want to destroy YAY!

but today really turned around.. lord knows why. I was so bummed and depressed and crying this morning and now i'm all drunk and tipsey and giggly.

OMG i want a friend to go to karaokee bars with!! I can't wait to get trashed and then sing my lilttle heart out infront of strangers!! what oculd serisously be betytet? wtp better hahah

I ALSO need to tell you all about my super hot boyfriend. SUS.. pronounced Suh-ssss.. not like Zeus with an S instead of Z. He is really hot when he is all shiney from working out and he shows off all of his amazing muscley goodness. and his nice hands. he has really nice elegant and strong hands. and he's amazing at sneaking up on me. he scared me so badly once, it was greay! I screamed like a little scarey cat! and he's soooo adorable when he's sleepy and he looks so happy. and he has really nice hair. and really hot snake bites. and he is treally hot in the bathtub when he lays down. he always looks liek he's really enjoying washing his hair. it makes me all warma nd fuzzy inside!!

i wish i had never told him about the soap on his forehead. tho sometimes he forgets and its the best.

he's 11 ninjas.]

i've lost a lot of weight since i started being serious about dieting. before the weekend at home i was down to 195!! so proud of myself :) and now with these hot wing i am UNSTOPPABLE

<3<3

i love sus.
and i love spicey food.
and i love.. me when i'm happy,

M#gakrga
lo ve love lvoe!

<2 amelia

1 told me | i want to hear the stories of your love for me

:: 2009 23 June :: 11.34am

well.....

....

i don't think i want to be anyone anymore.
i think i just want to be what other people want still.
its easier that way. and there's less internal conflict..

i mean.. i'll hate myself either way, right? so why waste all that effort just to continue with the hate?

i feel lilke my life is so futile and mostly empty. i feel like i'm going to be stuck waiting for something to happen forever.. i don't even feel like writing this.

i really just want everything to end. i feel like i have no meaning to live anymore. my life is void of any meaningful goals that are obtainable. i feel like there's really nothing for me here. I hate spokane with all my heart. i hate what its done to me and to sus.

i really hate me too. because i'm stuck in a horrible limbo of being me and being who i think would make him the happiest. all i really want is reassurance from someone... anyone.. who i can really talk to.. so i know that i'm not just doing things for him... and that the things i am doing are what is right and good for me.

i feel so mentally retarded and emotionally fucked up. i hate this.

i want to hear the stories of your love for me

:: 2009 22 June :: 1.11pm

so this weekend was.. OK.

I spent it with my family because Sus was in Seattle visiting his dad. It was weird to spend so much time in my old home.. All the familiar smells and rooms... It felt so wrong and alien and towards the end led to some small anxiety attacks. I felt like everything was.. Like a dream that I had forgotten so long ago. The house felt so empty and cold, tho, just three years earlier that was how I lived my every day life. It was such a strange experience.

It was a really nice feeling, tho, to see the face my dad made when i gave him his present. He smiled. For real, and it made me feel like I really made his day with it. I've been waiting to feel like that from my dad for a really long time now. It made the weekend pretty ok.

Sus came home last night late.. Around 3. I had to fall asleep in the house alone.. In the dark.. Before he got home.. And it was terrifying! But I did it. And no nightmares :). When he got back we were both exhausted, but he was just looking so fucking hot and I had missed him so insanely much that we had some really nice, passionate, I missed you so much sex. It made me purr. and if I didn't have a sore throat it would have probably made me scream too :) he really is amazing. like.. ZOMG amazing.

orgasmic even hahahah

Josh might be getting out of the hospital today!!!!!!! I really cannot wait to see him.

1 told me | i want to hear the stories of your love for me

:: 2009 21 June :: 8.47pm

I sometimes wish responsibility didn't exist.

i want to hear the stories of your love for me

:: 2009 18 June :: 1.51pm

i have some turkey legs and i have NO idea how to cook them.. I loved smoked turkey, but I have no liquid smoke or a smoker.. :/ lame. I'm probably going to end up poaching them or braising them and then using the broth and what not for soup or something.. we'll see.

i'm super tired today. i took a melatonin thinking we'd sleep in, but we didn't get to.. oh well.

i'm tired of searching for jobs. there are none and that's completely retarded.

I think I'm hungry.. but I really don't want to eat anything we have.. it's all just so... blah. meaty. I hate diets.

I want josh to get out of the freaking hospital already. GRRR. and I want to meet some new people. But its spokane.

Kitty's going to be moving in with us soon. We're going to draw together and decorate her room together and she'll get healthy and happy and then we'll all go back to seattle in october and things will be peachy!! Only two more weeks.

We went to the dollar store yesterday and bought some little cups.. They are really cute! We got 6 for $3 and they all have some kind of fruit or veggie on them. They are super awesome!

Chase is a shitty ass bank. I want wamu back.. :(

[ edit ]
so i roasted one of the turkey legs. it was f'ing delicious! tho, i think i'll marinade it next time.. it was kind of... bland.. then with the other two i boiled them in chicken broth with carrots, onions and celery with some herbs and olive oil. i'm going to take the meat off of the bones and then make some potato dumplings for sus to enjoy with our.. turkey and dumplings! turkey is a lot cheaper than chicken for some reason.. and i personally think it tastes a lot better, so we're going to be eating more turkey from now on.

i can't wait until i have a slow cooker :)

i want to hear the stories of your love for me

:: 2009 15 June :: 8.53pm
:: Mood: cheerful

i think i think to myself too much.
at this point i can't remember what i've said and what i have only had in my mind.. it's kind of funny haha

today i met josh's jaja. i think that's how you spell it.. at any rate, she was super cute and really sweet. she touched my tattoos and told me that they were very beautiful :) she also joked with either josh or her husband that she was checking me out haha it was so cute. apparently josh's family completely adores sus and i which feels really good. i'm glad that josh thinks so highly of me and that his family does too :)

crazy summer rain today! sus caught a rainbow and sent it to me <3 he's so sweet! I got totally drenched and then sat on the porch with my brother, just watching the rain. it was breathtaking. i can remember storms in the summer from years ago.. running in it barefoot with sarah.. dancing in it.. the big downpours in the summer were always the best.. there's just something so magical about it. its one of the things i really love about spokane and something i really miss.. but it was wonderful to feel like that again. to forget that anything is wrong and just be totally in the moment..

just happy that the world could be so.. perfectly chaotic. and so refreshing.

today has been a really nice day, despite having to not be with sus for it :/ which super sucked. the only thing that would have made the rain better would have been watching it with him.. <3 but tomorrow we will see each other again and it will be sooooo nice!!

things are going really well. and my life is getting better. and in a few months we'll be in seattle, where my bed can be under a window and i can hear the rain fall every night.. where i can meet people who think like me and sus and i can make new friends and have new experiences together.. and just be... happy. :)

i can't wait to start my life again. i can't wait to start a real life with sus.

<3

i want to hear the stories of your love for me

:: 2009 14 June :: 5.36pm

ok so. sangria. tastes like fruity beer.

and it really fucked me up haha.
it was really fun.. except when i woke up still drunk haha.

we started watching John Adams and Firefly. Both of which are AMAZING shows and I love them both very much. We tried to watch a robin hood series but it really didn't work out.

I'm starting to think that.. I only feel really, manically depressed and hopeless when I'm on my period. And I don't think I acutally feel half of the things I felt when I wrote that entry. I just was having hormone issues haha. go being a girl.

Home is boring. We bought a new scale. It measures body fat percentage along with hydration levels and bone density. i'm a little worried, tho, because no matter how much water i drink, my hydration stays at 44% or so.. it should be 50%. when i go bathroom i'm peeing water. so i'm not really sure what's going on or if its something that i should be worrying about.

we fixed our vacuum :) it runs like a motherfucking champion now! it had the wrong size belt and it also had a completely full filter. we cleaned the filter and the horrible wet dog smell went away haha.

oh. last night we went on a late night run to walmart to get the sangria. i was driving because i hadn't had anything to drink since like.. 8 or 9 and it was 1 am haha.. on the way back there was a dead animal in the road and i freaked out a little. haha once i swerved to miss hitting a little mouse (which, btw, we saw a little cute mouse at walmart by the carts!) so i didn't want to hit whatever it was since i thought it was still alive.. but it had already been hit by another car. i couldn't really tell you what it was.. it looked like a gigantic mole, but idk if moles could get that big..

anyway.. things are ok. once we get jobs things will be bitchin'.

5 told me | i want to hear the stories of your love for me

:: 2009 11 June :: 7.05pm

well after that rant i feel a bazillion times better..

i think.

idk.

i need a friend. and not the shitty friends i used to have.. i need someone who will keep my secrets liked i keep theirs. someone who won't abandon me for dicks and booze.. someone who really means it when they say they won't judge me and really trusts me when they say they trust me. i don't want a liar or a two-faced egocentric selfish spoiled rat who says things to make herself look better. someone who wants to be independant and will say so. someone who loves themself.. someone who really gives a shit about people.. i need someone who's patient and will help me.

i really need help. and i really doubt that any human in this whole world is even remotely capable of what i need in a friend.

and i'm not saying i'm perfect. but at least i can keep a secret...

(tho i really don't want to.)

actually i take that back.. people are capable of being good.. they are just WAY too busy being assholes to care anymore. they need to be stuck in their shitty relationships and dead end jobs and they need to do all their drugs and drink all their booze and then piss on the people who care about them and laugh about it. because that's what "adults" do and that's what we have all been waiting to become.

FUCK THAT.

if i could, i wouldn't live in this apartment. i wouldn't live in spokane. i wouldn't constantly worry about all the shitty things going on in my life and i wouldn't think about all the horrible things that have happened to me within the last year for no reason. i would lay in the grass... i would look at the clouds. i would have friends and just forget about how shitty every little thing in the "adult" world is. because it really is all shit. ALL of it. and it isn't worth wishing your life away when you're young.

but i'm going to become someone now. i have a new attitude. i have.. no hope or optimism for the future, but at least i don't have to worry about next month's rent.. and i'm ok with that..

i really just have to take my life one day at a time right now. i just really need to stop dwelling on my past and i need to think about how i can be a better me right now.

or that i'm already an awesome person and people love me.
its just hard to remember. it always has been. ever since elementary school.
but sus loves me. and adam loves me. and josh loves me. and they are all really amazing people.

i'm lucky to have what i do.
and i'm lucky that i have so much feeling and passion in my life. and that i feel something new everyday. even if its painful or horrible, its something beautiful in its own way.

the world is very beautiful.
somehow i forgot that.

but... i'm glad i'm here. even if its hard.

i want to hear the stories of your love for me

:: 2009 10 June :: 3.41pm

so.. i'm all mood swingie..

and it sucks, but w/e.. it'll be over soon enough.

i keep dreaming about death or the apocolypse.. it's kinda scary.

josh is getting better :) they finally figured out what was wrong with him and now he's walking again! I'm so excited for him to get out of the hospital and get rested up so we can hang out again! I miss him!

200 new jobs posted for spokane and i can't apply to any of them because i'm not a doctor or a previous manager. LAME

i want to hear the stories of your love for me

:: 2009 8 June :: 3.47pm

so...

i hate my life.
and..
i have no where to really express the hatred of my life.
i want to take a million showers a day to try and wash off myself.
but water can't fix what's on the inside.
it can't fix what other people have maimed..

its not my fault i hate myself. its my fault that i can't just take the whole bottle and forget it.

[ edit ]
so.. there's something that i want to get off my chest:

Read more..

i want to hear the stories of your love for me

:: 2009 6 June :: 8.19pm

Even though we all drifted apart, we're still connected.
Connected through this place, it brought us together and tore us apart and brought us together again.

Funny how that works.

i want to hear the stories of your love for me

:: 2009 1 June :: 11.12pm

i'm bored. and lonely. i wish i had a job.

i've been thinking a lot about myself lately.. doing some introspection.. trying to figure things out so i can stop being so damned depressed all the time.

it's a known fact i hate myself, i always have.. but i never really knew why. i feel like a person that society hates. that the conservative christians would burn alive if they could. i feel like if i believed in god, i would surely believe i'm going to hell and i hate that. what i hate more is knowing that i'm going to die and my life will be completely moot and i can't enjoy my life despite that fact. i want to be happy and take advantage of my youth and have a really good time while i still can. i also want to buy a house and have a family.

i just don't feel like i can do the first one.

i feel like if i enjoy the things i wish i could, i'll be a bad and irresponsible person, despite the fact that i'm the most responsible person i know. i feel like i'll be disappointing someone, though at this point i don't know who that would be since i'm just one fucking huge disappointment to anyone who i might care about in that reguard. i don't really understand why i feel this way. why i feel like no matter what i do i'm a bad person - for either enjoying my life or not living my life. it feels like those are my only two options. and its not fair.

i want to be ok with the person i am. i want to love myself. but there are so many things i perceive as wrong with me that i don't think it's possible to dig myself out of this hole of self-loathing. i "know" who i "am" but i don't feel like that is me. i feel like i'm an observer in this body and the things i do aren't really things i would do. idk.. it's confusing and i just wish i could flush all these thoughts down the toilet. that's where they belong.

i want to hear the stories of your love for me

:: 2009 1 June :: 9.18pm

Fuck allergies.

Seriously.
They make me so not happy.

i want to hear the stories of your love for me

:: 2009 1 June :: 12.52pm

while we were driving on the highway, we hit a deer. it was being a complete fucking dumbass like all deer and was hanging out in the middle of the lane. it was the one second sus looked at me rather than the road and it hit on my side and it seriously looked like it exploded all over my side of the car..

we found the body and he was still intact, but his spine was shattered and his legs were going all the wrong ways.. there was deer hair all over the car.. dents in the door.. the hood is totally fucked and so is the light assembly on that side.. and sus thinks it might have fucked up the radiator too.. its going to be pretty spendy :/

and the best part is!! we just recharged the a/c on the car. haha and now the car is pretty much totaled. :) i love my life!

but on the positive side, on the car ride we talked about a lot of things.. and i feel like he understands where i'm coming from better and understands why i do the things i do better. and i understand him a little better too. this weekend was kinda shitty, but we went to neighbors and it was really, really fun. i didn't drink until i got home, but i still had a fucking blast hanging out with four wasted people haha. though, the day after i had the worst hangover i've ever had. and then we hit that deer and i almost threw up.. the adrenaline was making me feel SO fucking sick.

charissa was really awesome :) probably the most fun cousin i've met simply because she's a lot more like sus and i than any of the other cousins. and she smelt really nice. at first i thought she didn't really like me because we didn't really don't look similar at all.. she looks like a party preppy ish girl and i looked like trash ahaha. but she was super nice and everything. her bf was ok. he kept touching my boob tattoos and i think it made everyone feel really awkward.. but i didn't really know how to tell him to stop. haha he also stroked my hair and told me i was beautiful. so weird.

anyway.. i'm getting sick of having something good going for me and then having something fucked up happen. but at least soon i'll be out of spokane and able to find a job and make things work.

i want to hear the stories of your love for me

:: 2009 30 May :: 1.30pm

It smells so good outside today.

i want to hear the stories of your love for me

:: 2009 29 May :: 12.55pm

I emailed West to see if I can get my job back with them.

We're going to Seattle this weekend! I'm so excited! We get to eat SUSHI!!!! And see Sus's cousin.

I can not frickin wait to move back over there!!!! I think we're going to live in MLT or somewhere around there... I kinda want to move to Edmonds. I really liked it there when I went with Shaunte. Sus is interested in Shoreline or MLT... And I haven't really visited either place so... i'm not sure..

All I know is if we save up the $4,000, we can replace Sus's crappy car when we get over to Seattle, and then we'd only need to rent a truck to move with. OMG I am so fucking excited!!

But October is SO far away.. :/ I don't want to wait that long. By then it will have been a whole year since we moved over here.. It's been so long. It's been too long in this stiflilng little shit face town. I just want to leave and never come back...

I hung out with Josh yesterday and we got sushi. I haven't been out in a really long time and it was nice to sit and eat good food and listen to his stories.. I'm really going to miss him..

i want to hear the stories of your love for me

:: 2009 26 May :: 1.52pm

i went to my family's home yesterday and spoke a lot with my brother.

i need to get some help.. i feel like i'm as lost as i was when i was 17... I know that what I want and what I need are completely different and I know that my family knows nothing about either. Some of the things my brother told me made a lot of sense and I completely agree with, and other things I really didn't see eye-to-eye with him.

I talked to Adam too, who I trust his opinion more than almost everyone else's. I'm so glad I have him as a friend still, and I'm so glad that I can always go to him without being afraid that he's going to judge me and condemn me for being myself. He told me that the plan I have is good and all that is holding me back is myself and my fear. And I agree, I'm just so scared that I'm going to fail that I can hardly make the first step.

I've decided that I want to succeed by myself. I think I may have said it before and I keep flip-flopping on the issue, but yesterday really helped me open my eyes. I'm so easily swayed by what I think will get me the most love, and not what I think is best for me. Being happy is what is important to me. Living in Seattle makes me happy, doing things on my own makes me feel accomplished and happy. I don't need anyone else's help but my own.

I've decided that I'm going to move back to Seattle as soon as possible. I'm going to extend my lease until October and advertise our extra room so we can save more money. Then, I'm going to get a job in Seattle and work off my debt for a year and get emancipated from my parents so I can get fincial aid and Pell grants. Then I'm going to find a school and get a degree in radiology because it is a field with job security and it will always be something I can build on and it will always be in demand, and it pays very very well. Plus I am intelligent enough to get through it with good marks. And besides, I need to finally have a CHALLENGE in my life.

I'm really lucky to have the friends I do... I'm so glad Brittany and I reconnected! We're going to Seattle this weekend together! I'm so fricken excited! We're going to meet Sus's cousin Charissa and we're going to go to a club or two! Brittany, Sus and I went to Demsey's on Friday and it was SO FUCKING FUN! The drag show was totally wonderful ahaha and we met a guy named Martin who was pretty fun! He's never been to Seattle.. Which is weird to me... But whatev, it was a lot of fun!

And it's going to be a lot of fun this weekend. I'm just a little concerned about money, but I'll work it out!

I just need to stop being afraid and commit. There is nothing I can't do.

[ edit ]

i honestly didn't think she could get any lower. but seriously.. i hope she really does gets aids. and herpes. on her mouth and in her crotch.

i want to hear the stories of your love for me

:: 2009 20 May :: 4.49pm

Why are we still here?

i want to hear the stories of your love for me

:: 2009 19 May :: 10.45pm
:: Mood: happy

Mhmmmmmmmm today was a good day :)
and i hope a lot more of my days will be at least half as awesome as today.

i love sus <3

i want to hear the stories of your love for me

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