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2002 18 November :: 7.29pm
:: Mood: awake
A convo that I think should be read. This is mostly between my brother and laurel, and very little of it is actually me.
Cut my life into pieces says:
Charlie wants to know who manvin is
I CANNOT wait until this weekend, or for that matter SUMMER!!!!!!! says:
LOL, i didn't know who we were talking about
Cut my life into pieces says:
lol
I CANNOT wait until this weekend, or for that matter SUMMER!!!!!!! says:
Manvin is a freakazoid......that needs to get help from a doctor fast
Cut my life into pieces says:
u can shut up about charlie now
I CANNOT wait until this weekend, or for that matter SUMMER!!!!!!! says:
he called me a slut!
Cut my life into pieces says:
umm.....
I CANNOT wait until this weekend, or for that matter SUMMER!!!!!!! says:
um.... what?
I CANNOT wait until this weekend, or for that matter SUMMER!!!!!!! says:
I'm not a slut!
I CANNOT wait until this weekend, or for that matter SUMMER!!!!!!! says:
I WAS a player I admit it
I CANNOT wait until this weekend, or for that matter SUMMER!!!!!!! says:
I was in teh 6th and 7th grade
Cut my life into pieces says:
I concur
I CANNOT wait until this weekend, or for that matter SUMMER!!!!!!! says:
??
Cut my life into pieces says:
(that was charlie
Cut my life into pieces says:
)
Cut my life into pieces says:
I had to fight him off
Cut my life into pieces says:
I CANNOT wait until this weekend, or for that matter SUMMER!!!!!!! says:
oh, i'm not a slut i have never had Sex
I CANNOT wait until this weekend, or for that matter SUMMER!!!!!!! says:
And Matt was my first kiss??
Cut my life into pieces says:
One night at band rehearsal I had one girl behind me singing a song, it went something like this:
Cut my life into pieces says:
" I'm a whore, virgin whore,virgin whore, I'm a whore, virgin whore virgin whore." to the tune of Appalachiam Spring part one
Cut my life into pieces says:
It was charlie
Cut my life into pieces says:
Oh and what about Darin?
I CANNOT wait until this weekend, or for that matter SUMMER!!!!!!! says:
so u'r saying i'm a virgin whore??
I CANNOT wait until this weekend, or for that matter SUMMER!!!!!!! says:
Darin??
I CANNOT wait until this weekend, or for that matter SUMMER!!!!!!! says:
oooh we held hands
I CANNOT wait until this weekend, or for that matter SUMMER!!!!!!! says:
I told you he was a chicken and we held hands
Cut my life into pieces says:
No I'm saying that just because your a virgin does not necessarily mean that a person is not a slut
Cut my life into pieces says:
I'm not saying you are, I'm just saying that it doens't prevent the possiblity
I CANNOT wait until this weekend, or for that matter SUMMER!!!!!!! says:
slut is someone that goes around and sleeps with people
Cut my life into pieces says:
*doesn't
Cut my life into pieces says:
and seduces them
Cut my life into pieces says:
and gives them "sexual favors"
I CANNOT wait until this weekend, or for that matter SUMMER!!!!!!! says:
I've never seduced n e one!
Cut my life into pieces says:
I've seen the way you strutted around this summer
Cut my life into pieces says:
Oyu can't tell me that you didn't seduce that poor boy
I CANNOT wait until this weekend, or for that matter SUMMER!!!!!!! says:
what!?
Cut my life into pieces says:
Of course he wouldn't do anything unless he was willing to be lead
I CANNOT wait until this weekend, or for that matter SUMMER!!!!!!! says:
I never "lead"
I CANNOT wait until this weekend, or for that matter SUMMER!!!!!!! says:
trust me
Cut my life into pieces says:
Oh so the French are the assertive ones', but I thought Americans were good at copying the French
I CANNOT wait until this weekend, or for that matter SUMMER!!!!!!! says:
U make NO sense
I CANNOT wait until this weekend, or for that matter SUMMER!!!!!!! says:
have u looked the word up "seduce"
Cut my life into pieces says:
That's why I am in college and you are in middle school
I CANNOT wait until this weekend, or for that matter SUMMER!!!!!!! says:
yeah tell me the deffinition OUT of the dictionary
I CANNOT wait until this weekend, or for that matter SUMMER!!!!!!! says:
not from your mind
Cut my life into pieces says:
to lead a person away from duty or proper conduct
Cut my life into pieces says:
yes, mhmm
Cut my life into pieces says:
entic into wrongful behavior; corrupt
I CANNOT wait until this weekend, or for that matter SUMMER!!!!!!! says:
I have not seduced Matt!
Cut my life into pieces says:
is that the best you can come up with
Cut my life into pieces says:
there, now you know it's me
I CANNOT wait until this weekend, or for that matter SUMMER!!!!!!! says:
shut up i have no clue how we're related!
Cut my life into pieces says:
It's my font
I CANNOT wait until this weekend, or for that matter SUMMER!!!!!!! says:
Cut my life into pieces says:
I CANNOT wait until this weekend, or for that matter SUMMER!!!!!!! says:
It isn't funny! thats not true!
I CANNOT wait until this weekend, or for that matter SUMMER!!!!!!! says:
He shouldn't be the one talking
Cut my life into pieces says:
trust me that wasn't my point!!!!!
Cut my life into pieces says:
It was sticking my tongue out at you, I"m not implying anything
I CANNOT wait until this weekend, or for that matter SUMMER!!!!!!! says:
I know but hes a dick
Cut my life into pieces says:
Laurel, this is michelle, remember, u promised, so don't get into anything I regret secrets
I CANNOT wait until this weekend, or for that matter SUMMER!!!!!!! says:
he was implying that i was a virgin whore!
I CANNOT wait until this weekend, or for that matter SUMMER!!!!!!! says:
I didn't say n e thing to him
I CANNOT wait until this weekend, or for that matter SUMMER!!!!!!! says:
its just me and you right
Cut my life into pieces says:
No I was not
Cut my life into pieces says:
YOu wanted to argue, So I was arguing
I CANNOT wait until this weekend, or for that matter SUMMER!!!!!!! says:
I didn't not want argue, well I did because I'm not a slut!
Cut my life into pieces says:
My point simply was that just because a person is a virgin it doesn't necessarily preclude them from being a whore
Cut my life into pieces says:
I was not saying anything about you
I CANNOT wait until this weekend, or for that matter SUMMER!!!!!!! says:
yeah it does
I CANNOT wait until this weekend, or for that matter SUMMER!!!!!!! says:
look it up
Cut my life into pieces says:
K, laurel, I'm back
I CANNOT wait until this weekend, or for that matter SUMMER!!!!!!! says:
okay
3 orgiasticals |
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2002 17 November :: 7.37pm
:: Mood: awake
Today
Didn't do much today. I practice, read, ate, watched t.v., played on the computer (The Sims is the greatest game invented), I did about a million sit ups (not that you can tell under all my flab), and I did other assorted things like played scrabble with my mother......
1 orgiastical |
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2002 15 November :: 7.30pm
I'm Feeling fairly normal today
It has been a long day. I find myself withdrawing, and it not being appreciated. Here are somethings that hopefully will make you all realize some aspect of me.
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit. - Aristotle
Hold yourself for a higher standard than anyone else expects of you. - Henry Ward Beecher
All things excellent are as difficult as they are rare. (16th century philosopher) - Benedict Spinoza
It's only those who are persistent, and willing to study things deeply, who achieve the Master Work. (from The
Alchemist) - Paul Coelho
One that desires to excel should endeavor in those things that are in themselves most excellent. - Epictetus
And finally...
There is no excellency without difficulty. - Ovid
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2002 14 November :: 6.42pm
The whisper of death
I can feel the rope around my neck,
The whisper of death in my ear.
I can hear the knife slit, as blood pools around,
And The whisper of death in my ear.
I can feel my unsettled stomach, knowing the pills are working,
I can hear the whisper of death in my ear.
I can feel the cold barrel against my head,
I can sense the whisper of death in my ear.
I can feel my body floating, through the air of 78 stories.
I can feel the whisper of death in my ear.
I can feel the cold water, my submerged, oxygen lacking body,
And the current of death, whispering in my ear.
I can feel the harsh, perfect blade of that dagger,
I can feel the incorrigible whisper fo death in my ear.
A million ways to die, and million different people,
Who all witnessed the whisper of death in their ears.
6 orgiasticals |
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m&ms487
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2002 14 November :: 6.36pm
:: Mood: aggravated
I could kill somepeople and cuddle w/ others...
Well, today. Wow. Not much to say about that. Well, during health I took this little quiz thing b/c we are talking about depression and suicide and it said that if u had 3 or more 'always' on a question, then you are currently depressed or there is a situation that happened not long ago that was depressing. I got 4 "always". I really don't think I'm depressed, I'm just pessimistic, agnostic, and really fed up with the high school society's naivtivity. If that's even a word. I'm frustrated, I'm hurt, basically anything but happy. Well, I guess that might be considered as depressed. I don't know. I know things that happen sometimes..................n/m. I don't want to get into that. Somebody will just thing I'm a freak or something. Oh well. Buh bye.
1 orgiastical |
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2002 11 November :: 7.00pm
:: Mood: complacent
Wouldn't it be nice...
Wouldn't it be nice to live your life,
Like everyday had a meaning.
Wouldn't it be nice to love someone,
And have them reciprocate the feeling?
Wouldn't it be nice to sleep in a while more,
Wouldn't it be nice to have someone to wake up for?
Wouldn't it be nice to blind yourself with laughter,
Wouldn't it be nice to turn back the hours,
And find the one who for so long you've wanted?
Wouldn't it be nice to have everything you want,
Wouldn't it be nice to be a perfect soul?
Wouldn't it be nice to do all that is right,
Wouldn't it be nice to achieve a life long goal?
Wouldn't it be nice just live another day,
Wouldn't it be nice to have someone not stab you in the back,
But you know what? The world isn't nice, and it's not a safe, fair world. So if you want your life to be nice, fuck you b/c it will never happen.
3 orgiasticals |
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2002 8 November :: 5.55pm
:: Mood: Euphoric
If you don't don't what Euphoric means, it means really really good. Almost like getting high, but I wouldn't know about that...Anyway, the reason I'm feeling that way. Auditions. WOW. Is all I can say. I got 3RD CHAIR. Which is really good. Considering it's against the whole High School flute section, there are about 15 of us, and I'm only a freshman! And I also beat Dani, and the only reason I take that is a good thing is that I know how GOOD she is. Wow. Yeah, to give u and idea, first chair is a junior and second chair is a senior. Wow, again. I think somebody said I only beat Dani by 1 point. Close, and i'm gonna have to work a bit if she wants to challenge later. But again, WOW. I didn't think i was that good, and especially because i didn't try that hard. I just let be what let be. Just imagine where I would be if I had done the best I could have....I don't know.
Today in biology, we had to "get married" and Perry picked our couples. Oh, god, I got Josh Kidder. We had to have kids too, all boys, (he named them) Shang 2, Dush, and Billy (Bob). Oh my, it was a lab on chromosomes and genetic assortment and that type of crap. I will like that class much better when Perry leaves (she's a student teacher). Armstrong can be boring, but hey, you can get him talking about something for the rest of the hour and then you don't get any homework! Fun stuff.
In speech I have to write a persuasive speech for my final exam (7 minutes memorized). I'm doing it on Cedar Springs Public School's Bus overcrowding. This afternoon we had 3 people in every seat except for 2 and there were 2 people sitting in the little seat. I do believe that is a problem. Although 30 people get off at the first stop which is the trailer park, there is still no excuse for packing us on a bus like that even for 15 minutes. It's unsafe. Not to mention uncomfortable. i want to put this in my speech, but I cannot, "Just because they want to cover their ass (the transportation department) doesn't mean they cover our's." Which is to mean that the 3rd person in a seat has only about half a butt cheek on the seat b/c that's all the room there is.
Oh well, see ya lata.
4 orgiasticals |
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2002 7 November :: 6.26pm
:: Mood: annoyed
:: Music: no music, not now
Today
Well, today has been sorta crappy, but I feel better, or should I say more like myself, than for a long time. Robuck gave the band the option to go to east g.r. tomorrow for the football game or to not. Well, there was a vote and he said there was enough people to say that we were going (i don't think there was, but eh, what I'm I going to do about it?). So, tomorrow, I get to go watch the hawks lose to east and freeze my ass off when I can be laying in a warm bed reading a good book. Eh, like i said, what am i gonna do about it? Auditions aren't posted yet. The flute section is done. We had to sight read, play a melody, and play 3 scales. I hope I did good! Like I said, I didn't do as good as I could have, but eh, again, what am I gonna do about it now?
I took a bio test today. Eh. Medal and his peas. Fun stuff. Not much more happend. Got the Nutcracker stuck in my head. The Dance Of The Sugar Plum Fairies. That's sorta a hard part when it goes fast.
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2002 6 November :: 6.36pm
:: Mood: okay
I'm scared of the world right now. Well, not exactlly the world, but more like what it's going to do to me. I don't know if I want the fate that befalls me, or has yet to befallen, but I don't know if there is anything I can do to change it. I'm scared b/c of auditions for band. I didn't do as good as I could on purpose, I don't know why, maybe my fear of becoming a part of something that I know I'm not ready to handle when everybody else says I am. I"m afraid of the people who call me their friend b/c all they do is lie, and for once, unbeknownst to them, i got even. I'm scared for myself. Things have never been like this. I'm losing all sense of joy and wonder and living on jagged parts of hours which seem to pass by with no concern of thought. I have no light in my day, well, maybe except A Friend. But, is it worth it when you have to worry about becoming what you know you can, but don't want to? The tides are changing, hopefully for the better. My mom keeps asking me why I've been so quiet. I didn't know I had. Being by yourself isn't dangerous if you are ok. I think she thinks I'm depressed. In health we are talking about suicide and mental disorders.. How ironic.
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2002 3 November :: 6.25pm
Went to a party last night and didn't come home until 1am, didn't go to sleep until 3. It was fun. Watched some movies, played some basketball, danced a bit. Last night I got a new insight on the world. More like a revelation. It's hard to explain. I just look at things differently now. Somethings will never change, and some always have to.
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2002 1 November :: 3.49pm
:: Mood: ecstatic
:: Music: Eminem-lose ur self
Various little tibits throughout my day:
To Gunny: I don't think u even read this but; Although it may sound uneducated, the term "Fucking Fucker" was a very correct and useful (might I add descriptive) phrase for the time.
And for all the stress I have encountered in the last 3 days (5 hours of homework last night) I have now come to the conclusion why I do it. This is my report card for 1st semester:
Marching Band A 96%
Biology A 98%
P.E./Health A 98%
Honors English A 94%
Geometry A 94%
Speech A- 90%
Yeah! That makes me so happy. So, this means, to this day I have not gotten anything lower than an A- on a report card although I have lowered my standards to except B's. I'm proud. I'm a perfectionist, but hey, I guess it is worth it.
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2002 30 October :: 6.33pm
:: Mood: cold
:: Music: Kelly Rowland-stole
I am so weird sometimes
Someday...Somewhere... says:
I see with jaded eyes of pure evilness and the darkness is no cloak of security, just secrecy
CKY says:
of course
Someday...Somewhere... says:
The soul finds no home therefore the home has no soul and those who propose that a house is not necessarily a home have no sense of self
CKY says:
right
Someday...Somewhere... says:
wtf am i saying? I think i'm going insane
Someday...Somewhere... says:
Or is it my insanity that speaks so profoundly?
CKY says:
the insanity
Someday...Somewhere... says:
Insanity is but an event in the mind, an event in which confused thoughts are entangled with past expiriences and therefore profound, yet confusing, and sometimes brilliant thoughts and works are produced
CKY says:
yeah
Someday...Somewhere... says:
Insane babblings are sometimes confused as great intelligence and that is how we have the great self-actualization of this century
Someday...Somewhere... says:
And self-actualization can only be achieved if the basic fundamentals of life are achieved and because of the world's recent economic growth and new inovative ways of production and growth we have achieved many things of which self-actualization can only pale in comparison
Someday...Somewhere... says:
:)
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2002 29 October :: 6.42pm
:: Mood: I'm cold and sick :(
Today
Today was a day of silence, and boredom. Yep, I didn't got to school. I sat at home and read magazines and watched t.v. I have a cold, but it is really bad this time. I woke up this morning and my throat was on fire. It hurt so damn bad. I drank some water, but that didn't help, oh well. The only good thing about being sick is that I feel like I'm floating whenever I walk around, so i guess that's a sorta plus cause I don't have to take anything for that feeling? I don't know. Well, I do know I have a biology test to make up and geometry homework to do.......well, that's tomorrow. I won't worry about that until then.
Oh, and for all of u who don't know, Jessie Gillette, one of my bestest friends in the world that i have known forever has had a terrible event in her life occur. Her Grandpa died yesterday. Condolences and hugs to u jess, luv ya lots.
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2002 27 October :: 6.21pm
:: Mood: amused
This weekend was great. The only hindering is that i know some people who i enjoy the company of are still mad at me. I luv u guys, I'm sorry, for whatever I did.
K, this weekend. Boy it was fun. We had to clean up leaves up at the lake, and we were gonna stay the night in my trailer, but Laurel and uncle larry didn't end up coming. Well, Donald (13) and Matt (15) Bergman came up and helped w/ leaves along w/ their friend named phil (?). Anyway, we only cleaned about an hour before it started raining and we quit. My parents and I decided to come home for the night b/c it was cold up there and there was nothing to do. That night we went to the Lenard Skinard (spelling?) party that was hosted by Don and Matt's dad. At their house. Boy that was fun. Kristine and her friend Janessa were there (My dad is in a band w/ mark (don &matt's dad, kevin (russell's dad), Ron (kristine's dad) and this guy named rodger) and they are both in the 6th grade and may i might add way too young to be doing what they were doing w/ the guys. Anyway, there were like 6 guys there including matt and don all in ages from 13-17. One of the kid's name Joe was really nice.......Anyway, the guys all drank some, but Don got so trashed, god, I don't think he'll ever put vodka in his grape kool-aid again. He's reallly nice tho, even if he was drunk? This morning Don was suppose to come up w/ Matt and Phil to do leaves again, but ah, as u might suspect as I did when i left the party, he wasn't gonna be feelin too hot in the morning. I heard he threw up in the kitchen at 4am. Then he was throwing up the rest of the night. WELL ALRIGHTY KIDS, WHAT DID WE LEARN TODAY? Not to get so trashed at ur dad's party? Righto. See ya lata.
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2002 26 October :: 2.58pm
:: Mood: amused
Ur dog is a fish
Hey ya'll, u know this summer when rob would say, "your dog is a fish"? Well, I saw the funniest thing today. I was watching saturday morning cartoons and I happened to flip to Blue's Clues (I luv that show, it's so cool, it reminds me of the cartoons and crap that were on when i was like 4) and anyhoo, it was the halloween one, and one of the dogs (magenta) was dressed up as a fish! That was so cool. I don't know, the simplest things amaze me. I luv all u guys. ~Michelle
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2002 24 October :: 6.39pm
:: Mood: cold
Why do i even bother? People don't understand. I want what's best for them because I can't help myself. Sometimes it makes me look like a bitch, which i don't intend to be, people just don't get it. I'm in a unique position which people misinterpret, and if I try to explain, it only causes problems. So, i'm just not gonna try anymore. No wonder it's so much easier to be superficial.
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2002 22 October :: 7.02pm
:: Mood: amused
The simpliest things in life are the best
CKY says:
odd yet a little bit of candy to it
Purple grape flavor, please. says:
oh yes, i agree?
CKY says:
yes but at what cost?
Purple grape flavor, please. says:
a fake fur coat maybe?
CKY says:
but what about the rainbow trout?
Purple grape flavor, please. says:
I think he needs some sparkly dangly earrings
CKY says:
yes
CKY says:
but maybe with a goldfish attached at the end
Purple grape flavor, please. says:
by tail or gill?
CKY says:
the colon
Purple grape flavor, please. says:
what about the kidney, won't it feel left out.....wait a sec, do gold fish even have a kidney...or a colon for that matter?...
CKY says:
i'm not sure
Some people just, um, either have issues or arent' tellin me where their keeping their good stuff. I have a crap load of homework and i left half of it at school, i think the teachers need to tell us when they want things due, so I don't have to learn about it the night before from a friend!! UGH! Some people's kids. I had to dress up today b/c I had to give a formal speech for speech class. I had to wear high heels and a skirt and crap, I hate skirts,and I had to put the sweater right back on after I ran a mile in P.E., I'm so freakin slow, i ran it in like 11:44, my last time was 11:50, I only sprinted the last lap b/c if we got over our time from last time, then we failed the class for the day. Fuck gym.
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2002 20 October :: 6.21pm
:: Mood: annoyed
This weekend has sucked. I can't believe how much it has suck. It has made people cry, and also do things unlike themselves. Well, Friday we had a football game, and I'm in band, but it was raining, so we didn't go play because 1. it would ruin our instruments. 2. it's dangerous marching on a really muddy field 3. we had competition the next day and no way were we gonna have uniforms, shoes, instrument, and kids all fucked up from marching on a cold, muddy, wet, field. If u get the picture. Anyway, then Saturday. first of all, I was going to go home on the late bus from the band competition because, umm, well, if u know me, then I'll tell u lata. And anyway, Jenison is always raining, and I expected that, but Friday they had a football game, and when we were going to perform our show, the field was "unsafe", well, it did have 4 inches of mud on it in someplaces, so we had to play on the track, and we were only judged on playing. It sucked, some of the seniors were crying because it was their last band competition. Now Robuck is talking about going to another competition so the seniors can march. Oh well, I wouldn't mind, we have to march for at least another week anyway because the football team made play offs Friday. Which brings me to the other thing. Saturday morning, we came in from rehearsal on the field, right before lunch, then we were going to leave for jenison, but Coach Gallery came up and started bitching to Robuck about how it really hurt their seniors that we weren't there playing for them. What an asshole. He doesn't realize the thousands of dollars we have in our instruments, uniforms, and other costs. It's not enough that we don't get that much money, but we are expected to compete and support the football team and the basketball team. Coaches don't realize that we have to be everywhere for everybody, that we get squat for help or for budget money, or procedes, and they don't realize, that unlike their players, if we don't show up for 1 game, or 1 performance, our grade drops. And we also go out on a cold, wet field everymorning at 7:30 am in 30 degree weather, just so they can have "support" that isn't always appreciated. I have now bitched my part, I don't expect any of u to agree w/ me, just that u realize what it's like. And we do it for the music, all for the love of music.
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2002 18 October :: 8.49pm
ARE U A POISER?
The Real Deal
Congratulations! Despite the small-minded cliques and snobbery of
the modern high school, you've managed to remain honest. You'd
never drop a friend to become a member of the "In" crowd, nor
would you change the way you dress in order to "fit in". This
doesn't make you weird or an outcast -- it just makes you, you. In
fact, we bet you're an intelligent trendsetter in various arenas
(fashion, music, etc.) with a strong sense of self. Just make sure
your cool self isn't too cool to remain open-minded about making
new friends or even having fun with a passing fad.
http://appjava.alloy.com/multiquiz/servlet/Quiz02.MultiPageQuizNew?quizname=Poseur&qaction=1
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2002 15 October :: 6.31pm
:: Mood: amused
Last night was so fun, but it's been a week, and yet again I am on the look out. I'll probably just umm....n/m, prying eyes don't need to know. Anyhoo, last night Liz had a 'friend'. His name was peaknuckle and he was a pine cone. Liz suggested some, ahem, things, and I made a few *ahem* sexually gestures toward him...? Anyway, she gave him a firery death in the burning barrel where be burned all our drills cause it was the last monday night practice of the year! Yeah!
Anyway, we have competition wednesday, a football game friday, then competition saturday, so it looks like I'm gonna be sorta busy. Hey, get this, we have a half day on wednesday, then we have to be back to school at 5pm for band! we don't get back until 10:30, and we still have to go to school in the morning! I actually like to sleep, so i might have troubles.Oh well, at least I get to go shopping tomorrow too, doubt I'll get anything tho, I really dont' need it, well cept for jeans, but I know I'll get some of those. So, buh bye!
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2002 12 October :: 7.17pm
:: Mood: surprised
Today is the day
Well, we had band competition today....we all thought we were really bad, well, we were. We messed up many moves, and I thought we did pretty okay in music. Well, the judges thought we did a whole bunch better than what we did. Get this, Cedar Springs, who are the crappiest marchers in class B, got the award for best marching in class B (they give them for color guard, music, percussion and marching). Okay, if that wasn't surprising enough, guess what place we got? Well, in past years the best we have gotten is 4th or 5th out of 6 or 7 bands, ha! We got 2nd. And we only lost by .2 of a point! God, when we heard that we could have killed ourselves, or jumped off the bleachers or something. Whitehall beat us. Well, we have competition on Wednesday night and next Saturday, so we'll see how we do..cross your fingers!
5 orgiasticals |
don't question bruce dickenson
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m&ms487
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2002 9 October :: 7.12pm
:: Mood: cold
Innocence is the virginity of vulgarity.
don't question bruce dickenson
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m&ms487
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2002 8 October :: 7.27pm
God, I'm doing it again. I don't know what to do, I keep having these freaking mood swings, and really, they aren't mood swings, they just pop up out of nowhere, and I can't control them.
don't question bruce dickenson
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m&ms487
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2002 8 October :: 7.22pm
I'm lost in this world,
It's graying around,
But I see the bright colors,
Of shirts from ambercrombie,
And pants from Gap.
I don't know what to think anymore,
I question everything that I'm told,
I don't believe in life, or love,
I'm a lost soul among many.
I walk the hall during the day,
Each person going seperate ways,
To each little group and little cliche.
I only wish that I could find,
Someone more like me,
To pass by the confused days,
And to help me find the way.
don't question bruce dickenson
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m&ms487
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2002 8 October :: 7.15pm
THE WORLD HAS ENOUGH ASSHOLES SO FUCK OFF!
19 orgiasticals |
don't question bruce dickenson
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m&ms487
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2002 8 October :: 2.19pm
:: Mood: unloved
And then...
Well, and it was going so well. I really need some freaking help or something. Curtis broke up with me today. I thought it was going so well because I got him to kiss me last night and all (I think he had this fear of kissing me). I don't know, I cryed almost all 2nd hour, and I've gone through so many moods since then, I really am starting to think there is something wrong with me, or is just the world? I don't know. Seriously tho, it scares me when I go from crying to bitchy to stoned (I wasn't, I was just acting like it), then to serious, then to loud, then to quiet, all in about 2 hours. I don't know what's the matter, I get like that sometimes, but usually it doesn't scare me, I just go along with it. I'm at a point right now where I think it may have been a good thing that we broke up. I don't know. It saddens me how all my friends act tho. I ask them how they feel about him and they say nice things, but once I'm not in a relationship with him anymore, they are so cruel, and they expect me to feel the same way, I'm sorry if I'm forgiving. I don't know what to think or what to do now. I'm probably making this more of a deal than it really is, but I have to wonder.......
2 orgiasticals |
don't question bruce dickenson
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m&ms487
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2002 7 October :: 2.34pm
:: Mood: amused
Is it me that changed or u,
Am I really me,
Or are you you,
I don't know you anymore,
Who does?
I wish for those days,
Those days all alone.
Is it just me or is it you,
I don't know what I'm going to do,
I don't know anybody anymore,
I can't tell,
What is going on,
I don't know,
And it's killing me,
But I can't find a remedy,
No failure,
Means no success,
I try my best,
But it's all wrong,
And you know it too,
And I don't know who you really are,
And none of you know me, the real me either,
I wish I could show you,
Who I really am,
But I'm sorry that I can't,
I don't know me anymore,
And I can't help but thing,
I'm just imagining shit,
But I don't think I am,
Because what i write is true,
And this is the realest, truest thing I know,
I know it better than myself.
3 orgiasticals |
don't question bruce dickenson
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m&ms487
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2002 6 October :: 6.57pm
Something
I don't feel like writing much, but I did feel obligated to write something. I don't know..
Well, you'll all be happy to hear that I started crying today for absolutely no reason. Out of nowhere. Maybe it's because I don't have control over anything anymore, maybe it's a way of life is coming to an end. I don't really want to talk about anything right now, but people are pushing me, and they really aren't going to like what they find. I'll see ya'll later.
1 orgiastical |
don't question bruce dickenson
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m&ms487
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2002 2 October :: 7.30pm
:: Mood: good
The Highlights of my week so far: In Speech Ms. Loughin (the student teacher) asked the class if they wanted to "get ahead" which all the senior guys in the class thought meant get A Head, and then she was like, "what? I like to get ahead". If u don't get it, oh well, u should have been there. Anyway, and the other was in health and Mr. Reed asked us to make a postive personality trait acronym out of our name, and this girl Jessica (she's a dumb blonde with opinions and a big mouth) said for J was Jolly and Mr. Reed said outloud, like "HO HO HO?" god, we all almost fell over, because she is a bit of a ho, and well, Mr. Reed just didn't get it. Anyway, the week is flyin by. Red flannel is fastly approaching, and I won't be able to enjoy it. Oh well, make the best of a bad situation!
4 orgiasticals |
don't question bruce dickenson
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m&ms487
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2002 1 October :: 6.54pm
:: Mood: aggravated
Today in health we had to write down a goal that we had and our personality trait's. Well, my goal was to have at least a 3.9 gpa when I graduate, and Reed couldn't just take "because I'm a perfectionist" for the reason why. So, we got in this whole long thing about how grades arent' important, but I place them at high value and crap like that. People in my health class think I'm crazy because I consider getting a B- failing. What a bunch of ----------------------. Anyway, the personality traits, I hate that class for many reasons, and one of them is having to identify who u are. Maybe I dont' know who i am? I have contradicting personality traits which leads me to believe my whole freakin life is an oxymoron (which I believe i already said). So, now I'm going around in circles AND I have no freakin clue who I am, that's okay, tho! The world is but a stage and we but actors making our entrences and exits.
2 orgiasticals |
don't question bruce dickenson
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