:: 2004 24 May :: 6.24 pm

Enter value(s) in comment, then copy & paste to your own journal

0= I don't know you
1= I like you
2= I love you!!
3= You are funny
4= You are cool
5= I don't really care for your personality
6= I want to fuck you
7= You are sexy!
8= You have a nice body
9= I want to get to know you
10= I hope you die

---------

dear amanda-

i hope that the end of school is coming fast enough for you. It musty be different without kailtin there. dad said you were kind of down last week and i wasnt sure if it was due to mothers day, or my letter to you. i just wanted to tell you that i love you; i love your poetry and your lyrics and your caring nature. i know that you are still very angry, but its important for you to see me and spend some time together. it might help me to be able to hear from you in person just how hard all of this has been for you. ill be coming to see you on Friday, june 4th after school. id really like to take you out; at least to talk and tell you in person just how much i love and miss you

<3 Mom

xX.Inspiration.Xx

:: 2004 22 May :: 1.37 pm

She falls apart by herself
No ones there to talk or understand
Feels sustained, dries here eyes
Finds herself, opens the door inside
People see right through you
Everyone who knew you well
Falls apart, might as well
Day is long and nothing is wasteful
Runaway runaway [Rodney background:] runaway runaway
Hold, hold you but your going away
Runaway runaway [Rodney background:] runaway runaway
[Rodney: Want]
Hold (Want) you tomorrow but your leaving today
You walk along by yourself
There's no sound, nothing is changing
Been gone away, left you there
Emptiness is nothing you can't share
All those words that hurt you
More than you would let it show
Comes apart, by yourself
All is well and everything is wasted
Runaway runaway [Rodney background:] runaway runaway
[Rodney: Want]
Hold (Want) hold you but your going away
Runaway runaway [Rodney background:] runaway runaway
[Rodney: Want]
Hold (Want) you tomorrow but your leaving today
Sometimes we'll feel around and this dance instead can't be down
All the sound of me on my own
Any sound of me again it's time away surround around a friend
I know where I know where no where to runaway
She falls apart, no one there
Hold her hand, it seems to disappear
Falls apart, might as well
Day is long and nothing is wasted
Runaway runaway [Rodney background:] runaway runaway
[Rodney:] Want
Hold (Want) hold you but your going away
Runaway runaway [Rodney background:] runaway runaway
[Rodney:] Want
Hold (Want) you tomorrow but your leaving today
Runaway Runaway
Hold (Want) hold you (Want) but your going away
But your leaving today, but your leaving today


[four beverages you drink frequently]
1: diet coke
2: water
3. sprite
4: alcohol

[four things to do when you're bored]
1: smoke
2: talk online
3: sing
4: write poems

[four things that never fail to cheer you up]
1: jimmy hugs
2. drugz
3: talking to sean
4: talking to my friends

[four things you can't live without]
1: writing
2: friends
3: music
4: food

[about ten years ago ]
1: i was 5
2: i was at the wellesely coopertive nursery school lol
3: i didnt realize my full potential.. and didnt appreciate how happy and carefree i was

[about two years ago]
1: i was in 7th grade
2: i hung out with katie kelsey and meggy everyday lol
3: i was 13

[about one year ago]
1: i was in 8th grade
2: i fell in love with joe russell
3: i was friends with different ppl
4: i met all the framingham kids
5: i was at the mall everyday haha

[today...]
1: watched goldmember with lizzy and meg
2: talked on the fone with sean
3: picked a ringtone

[3 things you dislike]
1: people that lie
2: when ppl tell you they love you.. then leave you -- deciet
3: ppl who overramatize to get attention

[four CD's from your collection that you will never get tired of]
1: Twiztid
2: Dark Lotus
3: my joe cd
4: hmm.. idk?

[four vacations you have taken]
1: barbados
2: Florida
3: Aruba with kristin
4: Las vegas with meggy :-)

[Three things you'd like to learn]
1: to write a fluent sonnet
2: how to sing high notes
3: how to sing in front of ppl and not be scared



What is your favorite...
gum: dentyne (sperament)
restaurant: ehh
drink: a screaming orgasm :-)
season: spring and fall
type of weather: sunny
emotion: happiness
thing to do on a half day: hang out with my friends and... smoke?
late-night activity: partying ;)
city: boston?
store: hot topic, pac sun, wet seal, blahhh i dunno

When was the last time you...
cried: umm last night with meggy kelsey lizzy and jimmy I LOVE YOU GUYS
laughed: with lizzy and meggy this morning
hugged someone: today i hugged jimmy! =) lol
felt depressed: last night..
felt overworked: school bites my ass
faked sick: ive lost track

What was the last...
word you said: i dont remember
thing you ate: ramen
thing you drank: water
song you listened to: desperately wanting
place you went to: johnson
movie you saw: goldmember

Piercings: ears
Tattoos: none..yet
Height: 5'3"ish
Hair Color: dark brown with light brown streaky things and pink streaks as of now lol
Siblings: a sister
Natural Hair Color: dark brown
Hair Color Currently: you def already asked me that..
Eye Color At Birth: brown
Eye Color Currently: brown
Glasses/Contacts: yes
Birthdate: April 21
Sign: taurus
Current Age: 15
Siblings names: Kaitlin
School: NHS

Current Grade: 9th
College Plans: def college in newyork with all my friends

LAST
Song that was stuck in your head: desperately wanting
Person that called you: sean
TV Show you watched: pimp my ride
Person you were thinking of: sean

DO
You have a crush on anyone: you can call it that
Wish you could live somewhere else: all the time
You think about suicide: uh yeah.. unfrotunatley
Others find you attractive: prolly not..
Want more piercings: getting my belly button done again .. (i closed it up)
You like cleaning: NEVER
You like roller coasters: hell ya

Who...?
Have You Known The Longest: kelsey
Do You Argue The Most With: kelsey
Do You Always Get Along With: lizzy and emily
Is The Most Trustworthy: lizzy and emily!!
Makes You Laugh The Most: meg and lizzy
Always Has A Man/Woman: jess lol
Is The Most Sensitive: sean
Has The Coolest Parents: lizzy
Has The Coolest Sibling(s): lizzys bros pretty cool .. when he wants to be lol
Is The Most Outgoing: lizzy
Is Most Rebellious: meg
Is Most Likely To Become Famous: lizzy (victoria secret model)
Is Most Likely To Become Rich: uh.. ?
Is Most Likely To Wind Up In Jail: cozzy cuz hes shady
Is Most Likely To Have A Million Kids: um no clue
Always Wears A Smile: ...who says that
Without Thinking About It, Who Do You Think Would Die For You?: Majkl :-)
Complains The Least: everyone complains at some time...
Do you want to die: a certain krew... excuding jimmy and robbie and um ppl who are nice :-D
Biggest Flirt: lizzy
Never EVER Betrayed You: lizzy
Biggest Pimp : jimmy haha

well there you go :) have fun

this entry is dedicated to the one and teh only emmy d!!!! i wuvv you emmy :-)

1 Xx.Will.Be.My.xX | xX.Inspiration.Xx

:: 2004 17 May :: 8.46 pm

hello journal im on teh fone with sean :-) nothing really exciting has happened.. been going tanning n shit.. yay tann.. yay summer! lol i can almost taste the summer coming.. i love it

xX.Inspiration.Xx

:: 2004 14 May :: 11.17 pm

you ask me what love is,
contently waiting for an answer
starring warrily into my lucid brown eyes,
bearing reflections of your own blue radiant beads
you tell me im confusing and kiss me upon my forehead
and return to your state of hostility
you ask me what love is,
like youve never felt it
like youve never seen eyes deeper than these
you ask me what love is,
and i answer unstifilled by your opinions
and i say "for u, for u love is anything."
and before you can question my fair reasoning
i intrude you with the continuance of my definition
"love is the sun, and the birds,
and all of its gems and jeweles,
love is also the browns and the greys,
sadness and pain...
love takes part not for beauty
but for an inperfection it absolutely cant resist..
its never shallow, and touches through taste...
for you, for you love is anything"
can you keep me now?
im hungry for your emotions
ive been starving everyday
you ask me what love is,
like youve never felt it
like youve never seen eyes deeper than these
have you never loved til' now?

-----------------

red swirls engulf the sky
as the pain continues to peirce at me
the cold steel is raised to my pale arm
and the slice comes all too easily

this knife slides across the cells
it knows all too well
and i press down as i always do
everything is always the same,
except this time i think of you

and now this blood holds no comfort
no happiness under this veil
containment of inner frality
will this cut continue to swell?

missuse of kitchen untencils
i peirce myself, its teh only way
under clouds of dissillusionment i hurt this mask
this faux temptation, i wither away

swirl me into oblivion
salt these wounds, i like the sting
i hurt whats on the outside
because i hate whats inside of me

strike this match against this interminable path
this white track of silken skin
silver plateaus of infinite life
imortality stays forever within

pour these rivers of blood
rush to the surface with ease
contain me with the prick of a needle
and love me with all that you deem

------------

emotionless, disstressless, containment
you have me
i stare longingly
into your emerald eyes
sparkling
my hands trace your cheekbones
smooth and creamy is your skin
and skin upon skin
you touch me, kiss me, hold me
sweetly
i look at you, looking at me
you see past my imperfections
and i melt into yours
everything you feel
and each word youve ever spoken
they land blankly upon deaf ears
lightly
fore i need not speak
to express my emotions to you
i need not hear meaningless chatter
i love you voiceless and expressionless
you touch my heart
without touching at all
and for that i give myself to you
under the moonlight i give myself to you

1 Xx.Will.Be.My.xX | xX.Inspiration.Xx

:: 2004 10 May :: 3.37 pm

5-7-04

Dear Amanda:

I got your letter this week and it has taken me this long to read and re-read your words; to get the full message within. Your writing and your poetry are incredible - an attest to your talent as a young authot. Powerful, concise and alive.

It is hard to know where to begin, but important to tell you that I do love you with all of my heart. "When, why, how?" are all questions with no easy answers. I do know that I have written countless e-mails to you that have gone unread. ("status unread" when i check AOL.) I have called many, many times, to have you either hang up on me or not pick up. I have written cards, notes a few words, to hear that you read each word in a very mocking tone to one of your friends. That's why i figured you didnt want to hear my words or hear my voice or hear my side, (if there is a side?), or hear how very much I miss and love you.

You are right, I was cowardly in not sitting down, directly with you, and explaining what the future would hold. However, I did call each day i was gone. I understand that a call is not the same as being honest and taking responsibility for your actions. I tried to talk with you before and after you left for your camping trip with Kelsey's family last summer, but you wouldn't talk. I went to get your hair done at the Mall, and you barely walked with me. I'm not trying to make excuses for what i did or didn't do, but communication was fairly difficult at that time. Additionally, I spent week after week maintaining the house alone, doing food shopping alone, working a longer day, and then driving you back and forth. I spent many, many nights alone, after asking both you and Kaitlin if you wanted to spend some time together. I remember asking, as you entered the house very late on a Saturday night, how the night went. You just climbed the long stairs to your room in silence; in your own world, your own place. I guess I should have tried to talk to you about how unhappy i was. Not unhappy with you or Kaitlin, but in my life. It was so very wrong of me not to share what was going on.

At Christmas when I came, bearing gifts and previous requests to see you, to talk, to take you out to lunch, to get your hair done, to go Christmas shopping, you made sure to have Dad drive you to a friend's at the precise time I was to pick your sister up. Again, I am only offering to point out the times we could have talked, could have cried, could have tried to make some sense of your pain and my percieved selfishness.

I feel in you now, still, all the love that i have always felt. I want you to fly here, and spend the summer. To take sailing lessons with me. To go shopping liek we used to; to walk in the open air courtyard malls; to sit on beaches; to look at the pelicans flying and watch the manatees feed. I want to show you theporpoises, to explore Bush Gardens and Universal Studios together. I want to come back to you even one-eighth of what I was before. I am hoping that you will open the door of your heart just a little to let me stick my head in and ask you how i can dry your tears. How I can redeem a fraction of your previous love for me. I want to make amends if you will tell me how, in your eyes, that can be achieved.

I will always remember and hold dear in my heart your loving and very personal gift to me on Mother's Day, many years ago. A time when every cent you had you spent in bicycling down to Memorial School and buying flowers, and the beautiful garden lantern. And then on Mother's Day, having me close my eyes, and leading me through the trail of flowers you so delicately planted for me. That is the Mother's Day of love forever in my heart; the most unselfish and loving thing that another human being has ever done for me. You are the most wonderful nd the most beautiful daughter a Mom could ever have. I hope that you'll let me back into your life, and into your heart again one day.

Every moment we had together was the greatest moment of my life. I'm so very sorry that I hurt you; that I dissapointed you; that I "ran away" from the one loving body who always stood by me. They always tell you that your parents are to be looked up to and respected. But they are wrong; for you are the one who has survived, and the one that i should be looking up to.

Thank you for giving me the special years as your mother; for giving me the chance to see the most beautiful baby in the world at play at slumber and alive. You were always the chosen one, with the perfect heart. I love you and I am very, very sorry to have hurt that perfect heart...

Mom...

--------------------------

4-13-04

Dear Amanda,

It has been far too long that we have spoken -- and high time for you to remember that I am still, and always will, be your mother. I love and care for you deeply.

I want you in my life, just as you are always in my heart. I wanted this to happen when you were ready. But now I know that when I come to visit, I will need to follow the Judge's decree which allows me to visit with you.

I know that it has been hard for you; I know that you have felt alone; and I definitely know how very lonely and different holiday time has been for you. However, if you had chosen to abide by the Judge's ruling, you would have been able to at least start to understand my side of things, and to be able to share a little bit of the old holiday memories, mixed in the with new.

Whatever happens between us you must remember that I have always been very, very proud of you; proud of you as my daughter, but also as a toddler and then as a little girl, and finally as a young lady. No matter what you may do in your life, I shall never stop loving you nor will I ever forget how very, very special you are.

From the moment that your soul entered the universe, life would never be the same; for you were here -- a perfect, delicate and incredible source of energy, character and light. You look around and you will see that you alone make the fun times with your friends, extra fun. That you, yourself, make someone's problems seem so insurmountable; and that you, Amanda Elizabeth, sends some sunshine to a stranger with a simple sparkling smile.

I know all of these things. I hope that you do to. You are special. You are significant. You are my daughter.

I love you.

Mom

5 Xx.Will.Be.My.xXxX | xX.Inspiration.Xx

:: 2004 9 May :: 12.15 pm

Pick a band and answer only using that band's song titles:
twiztid

1. Are you male or female?
Dirty Lil' Girl

2. Describe yourself:
U Don't Wanna B Like Me

3. How do some people feel about you?:
I'm Alright

4. How do you feel about yourself?:
Bad Dream

5. Describe your girlfriend/boyfriend/interest:
Fuckkonthe1stdate

6. Where would you rather be?:
Marsh Lagoon

7. Describe what you want to be:
On The Other End

8. Describe how you live:
Wondering Why?

9. Describe how you love:
Ain't A Damned Thing Changed

10. Share a few words of wisdom:
The World Is Hell

4 Xx.Will.Be.My.xXxX | xX.Inspiration.Xx

:: 2004 9 May :: 11.45 am

you said "wouldn't it be a shame if I knew how great I was five minutes before I died i'd be filled
with such regret before I took my last breath" and I said "you're willing to tell me this now
and you're not going to die any time soon"

-----------------------------------

again and again these tears roll on and again and again this song keeps playing loud...again and again these skies turn grey and again and again you pull your hand away...again and again i try my best to hold you again and again i toy with greens and blues.. again and again i watch your reflection in teh sunset and again and again i cry thinking of you...

--------------------

i must seem to interesting to you
like a monkey in a cage...
stared at through the glass
through the bars
i must seem so new to you
like the smell of smooth leather
stripped from nature
as a luxury to you
i must seem to confusing to you
like a puzzle missing peices
abuptly thrown away in anger
when you couldnt figure me out
i must seem like a mystery to you
try and figure me out
and i get angry
give up and ill be dead
i must seem like an angel to you
i hold myself so immortally
liek i can never do wrong
so we kiss palm to palm
and touch to intimately..
i must seem so alive to you
as im dying your arms..
whispering secrets which cascade down my lips
as we stare off into the stars....
i must seem so interesting... well im really not


-----------------------

i cannot have you
cannot touch you
cannot feel you anymore
when im with you i feel naked
i feel empty
i feel void
i feel no need to be anyone special
i feel no need to cover up my sins
you bandage me like im an open wound
im throbbing and bleeding for you
you touch me like im rotting fruit
once so sweet
now so sour..
bleed with your fingerprints
leave marks upon my back
fore then i will have proof of our encounter
have evidence of when you violated me
i want you and you know it
i need you and you continually push me away
bruise me
bruise me
beat me..
when im with you..
you could slit my open wounds
and i would thank you
i would kiss you when youve tainted your lips with poison
lick you while infested with disease..
this anger shows within my writing
hostility rings true
and i think of what you give me
and its the throbbing my heart
i bend over
to pick it up off of the ground
whipe off the dirt and put it back in
kick me down
ill get back up
shoev me away
and i will follow..
this pain is its own bliss in a way..
when im with you i feel naked
i feel damaged
i feel void
i feel no need to lick these open wounds
i feel no need to cover up my slits and scars
you bandage me like im an open wound
im throbbing and bleeding for you...


------------

your words cascade down my cheeks
through telephone wires they seep
you bleed..
for me...

GR I LOST MY POEM IT WAS TEH BEST POEM I HAD EVER WRITTEN AND ITS GONE GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR IM SO ANGRY

well i went to teh carnival this weekend.. it was fun then i had to go home before i could see sean.. i was lookign forward to seeign him apparenltly corey got locked up cuz he started a fight while he was on hosue arrest.. and obviously wasnt at home lol i cried again today.. as always... gr.. its mothers day.. HAPPY FUCKING MOTHERS DAY not....

1 Xx.Will.Be.My.xX | xX.Inspiration.Xx

:: 2004 6 May :: 11.10 pm

speak not of death..speak not of pain.. speak not of fear and misscomprehension.. speak not of your sins, and of your forogtten truths, these things you hold self evident.. strip me, i lie flacid im lucid look right through me. your eyes peirce every cell of me, every inch of creamy white skin. and your words penetrate me like the knife, i so mock each and every reoccuring night.. each scream i hear peteating in my head. the person i want to kill lies useless now, boundless and out of my power. they only answer to teh silver.. only respond to the pain.. they only pay attention when im jeaprodizing fate...hurting what could havew been.. or whatever went wrong. but i wont speak of lost promises, secrets which were told, each silver plated lie youve ever spoken.. and this steel penetrates me liek you did that day.. slicing deeper into my infected wounds...you are the birth of pain.. and the death of sorrow... the breeding ground of hate.. and your dreams slice deeper into this blueish looking vein than my glass ever will do...
lifeless.. is the promise of a bond.. useless is the promise of love...and you die nonowing what could have been...what should have been caught between teh wrong and the right.. i cannot choose your fate...but i can choose mine.. and i shall end mine with promptness on teh day you say goodbye..

1 Xx.Will.Be.My.xX | xX.Inspiration.Xx

:: 2004 5 May :: 12.19 am

www.picturetrail.com/toxiclove35

this blade has danced across this skin plenty of times before... knowing each cell all too well...my own screams wont stifle the pain.. wont rectify each tear falling...i go to press down once again like allways... eveyrthings teh same except this time i think of you... and this blood holds no comfort...

xX.Inspiration.Xx

:: 2004 3 May :: 10.30 pm

What’s that smell?

There is a cool breeze in the air, sweet nectar caught along its drift. Emotions overflow with beauty, and I watch the pristine buds rock back and forth. On a perfect summer day, all is awake and indulging nature to its fullest extent. I walk along a rigid path of thorns and ferns, to my surprise tempting me further into the forest by a sweet smell. It remained sugary and radiant as it enticed my senses, dancing upon my nostrils and tempting my tongue, after every breath I’d take. What is this scent which toggles my mind, and pulls me into this forest of echoes and vacant melodies? Nature creating its own orchestra, equipped with birds, wind, and the chirping of the summer crickets. Each its own part, in harmony, in its own subconscious beat drawn together by that fragrance. That simple aroma, the smell of warm rain accompanied by heat lightning. Or the perfume of a single flower soaking in each golden ray of sunlight. Finally, the scent I speak of becomes stronger, and it overwhelms me. With a tingle down my spine, I turn a corner overgrown with wild roses and untamed beauty, to see life at its best. A meadow, overflowing with wildflowers, and dandelions. There is a cool breeze in the air, sweet nectar caught along its drift. Emotions overflow with beauty, and I watch the pristine buds rock back and forth.

1 Xx.Will.Be.My.xX | xX.Inspiration.Xx

:: 2004 1 May :: 10.27 am

http://members.cox.net/lxix/ithurts/22.html

go there now or die

1 Xx.Will.Be.My.xX | xX.Inspiration.Xx

:: 2004 28 April :: 10.33 pm

The disease of alienation
the temptation of love burning to be let in
the emotion bursting within me
giving in to this pure life of sin

your vacant stare encaptures me
missusing the soul that you see
I cannot see cannot feel cannot love
how can this person be me?

Im broken but only on the outside
there are cracks embroidered in my soul
weaving sadness in and out of me
my bodies far out of control

a dizzy spell brings stars to my eyes
like teh stars i once watched with you
they twirled and they danced as we watched them
so similar except this time im blue

let me escape from this death bed
this disease filled chateau
i am not unhealthy, stand strong wanted and true
but as long as i'm crippled in this ward, im each day waiting to let go

infections rip at my stomach
im praying just to get by
you asked if i loved you and i said no,
i asure you my words were all lies

i'm blinded by poison and novacain
cannot feel cannot see a thing
the life seeps out from my pale pours
dillusions begin setting in

im strapped to this hard overused hopital bed
alone and confined from the world
they think that im dying they say i wont live another day
that my eyes will blurr out in swirls

dependent on oxygen fake from tubes
shooting drugs into my skin
i rot as i lie here dying
my soul trapped eternally within...

1 Xx.Will.Be.My.xX | xX.Inspiration.Xx

:: 2004 27 April :: 12.44 pm

i walk alone down this dusty road
this old abused abandoned street
vacant yet stirring with memories
memories of a time long passed
people long forgotton..
never again will they return
just another body on this earth
a blurred name in the book of the government
i can feel your presence
the essence of you on my skin
your the mist which falls around me
the moss which grows on the trees
you are everything the earth embodies
you are all that you can be
nature and beauty
life and death
the embrace of acceptence
the fact that when you die you are gone
burried in the ground
can you see me from there?
am i making you proud?
this life is emotionless.. meaningless
why do we even care?
why are we here
when the only promise we have in life
is to die.
inevitably we will be gone
with no ties to the earth
no love to be felt
no thoughts passing through our dormant brains.
and im alone as i walk down this dusty road
because i am the essence of life
i am the explanation of all that is evil
the truth behind every lie...
the gold just beyond every rainbow
as this road spirals ahead of me
i begin to evenesce
just another cloud in this feild of dust
i walk alone down this dusty road
this old abused abandoned street
vacant yet stirring with memories
memories of a time long passed
people long forgotton..

1 Xx.Will.Be.My.xX | xX.Inspiration.Xx

:: 2004 26 April :: 12.31 pm

Some people live for the fortune
Some people live just for the fame
Some people live for the power
Some people live just to play the game

Some people think that the physical things define what's within
And I have been there before, and that life's a bore
So full of the superficial

Chorus
Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everthing means nothing
If I ain't got you

Some people search for a fountain
That promises forever young
Some people need three dozen roses
And that's the only way to prove you love them

Hand me the world on a silver platter
And what good would it be
With no one to share, with no one who truly cares for me

Chorus

Chorus

If I ain't got you with me baby
Nothing in this whole wide world don't mean a thing
If I ain't got you with me baby

--------------

Feels like I'm going in circles
You're like a maze i can't get through
Should i go left should i go right
Should i let you stay for the night
It's like a see-saw when it comes to your love
Boy when you're up this girl is down and i just can't figure it out

[Chorus:]
Cause you know that i want ya
And you know that i need ya
Is that any way to be
Just have your way with me
My body is cryin
These tears can you wipe'em
Is that any way to be
Jus have your way with me

I'm goin out with guys i don't wanna go
Places that i've been before
(they pitchin the same game)
Boy it's a dam shame
(how i wish it was you) callin me
(i want it to be you) holdin me
(Boy it needs to be you) kissin me

Cause it's like a see-saw when it comes to your love
Boy when you're up
This girl is down
And i just can't figure it out

[Chorus]

[Bridge:]
(have your way) have your way with me
Anytime anywhere
However i don't care
Have your way with me
I don't care
Cause tonight
Boy tonight
Tonight................

[Chorus]

[Ad libs]
Cause you know that i want you
And you know that i need you
Huh huh huh
My body is cryin
These tears can you wipe them
Is it any way to be
Baby have your way with with me
Cause you know that i want ya baby
And you know that i need ya baby
In my life i need you
I want you
Body is Cryin for you baby
Boo hoo hoo hoo
Boo hoo hoo hoo
Shoo doop doo doop doop do doooooo


--------------

im home sick.. not much too interesting...

1 Xx.Will.Be.My.xX | xX.Inspiration.Xx

:: 2004 25 April :: 8.14 pm

its so insane how my emotions bounce like this.. i can be sitting in my room online just relaxing and then all of a sudden i can get so depressed.. or so angry, or restless, or pissed off.. over nothing... gr i dont know whats wrong with me...

gr..... ill write more later...

xX.Inspiration.Xx

:: 2004 22 April :: 8.40 pm

Your Tongue's Talent is Giving Head!

Your thick, wide tongue is the perfect size and shape for giving him pleasure. Not to mention, you know just how to work all the curves.



You'll do just about anything to make others happy, and when you're uncomfortable, you don't like to say so.



So that probably means your mouth is starting to get worn out. Slow down, and learn how to speak your mind!



You'd be most compatible with a Nipple Sucker. They're sure to give you the attention you so desperately need.



You've been giving everything for so long that you forgot what's it's like to be pleasured. It's time for you to lay back and get licked.



What's Your Tongue's Talent?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

You Are A Screaming Orgasm

An unexpected bonus for just about every guy on the planet.

He’s plowing you and you’re yelling for more.

Talk dirty, talk cheap, scream his name, scream complete gibberish. No matter.



You are the Mariah Carey of the bedroom and he loves every fucking syllable that spews from your luscious mouth.

Maybe you’re the "Mary the Librarian" type by day.

But by night, honey, watch out.

The vocal chords let loose with everything your heart and mind have been thinking about all day long.



What Cocktail Are You?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

xX.Inspiration.Xx

:: 2004 21 April :: 4.58 pm
:: Music: mad world - gary jules

1 Xx.Will.Be.My.xX | xX.Inspiration.Xx

:: 2004 21 April :: 8.53 am

well yesterday was 420 :-) lots of fun. shmoked like hellllllllllll

i still have like alot left.. hmm i wonder what im doing today....?

--------------------------------------------

its my bday this morning well not just this morning the whole day.. i was bvorn at 6:18 pm so ill be a whopping 15 years old in a matter of hours. goodbye 14ness. a very very eventful year... i will always remember my 14th year :-[

well ill write more later when im actually awake
All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow

And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very mad world mad world

Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me

And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very mad world ... world
Enlarge your world
Mad world

xX.Inspiration.Xx

:: 2004 17 April :: 1.43 pm

questions

MissGolightly9: okay....if you could do anything with the rest of your life wat would it be?....wats your favorite color?.....wats the best memore u have?

i would sing. forever and ever. singing songs i write it makes me happy :-)

my favorite color is blue

my best memory i think.. hmm i dont think i have a favorite memory i liek all of teh happy memories.. and hate all teh sadness

iceyhott1769: if you could go anywhere in the world where would it be?
iceyhott1769: hmm and then......if you could have one thing in the world what would it be
iceyhott1769: if you were to change one thing about your past..what would it be

i would go to venice italy and look at all teh amazing art... the structures.. the gondola boats the romance.. but id never go alone...italy is romantic...

if i could have one thing it would be a singing career.. or not even that big.. just to be noticed and appreciated, as something great.. to make a difference

i wouldnt chaneg anything from the past because everything that has happened has led me to where i am today and iwthout all fo teh bad times iw oudlnt be who i am now..everything happens for a reason and u cannot toy with those reasons...

BronzE322: who has always been there for you and how important are those ppl in ur life
BronzE322: would ur life have changed at all if BJ Brondeau hadnt moved
BronzE322: what do you think would have changed in ur life if ur parents hadnt split up

always been there... well theres noone whose alwys been there.. i guess ive always been there for myself and even then i fail myself... but my friends are here for me... liek emily and lizzy and kelsey and meg and katie and everyone.. and ic are abotu them so much i woudlnt knwo what to do if i had to live without any of them...

i would have another best friend.. if bj b hadnt moved.. i think i would have had someone to talk to who actually understood me.. someone to save me from myself.. and i miss you bj :(

i wouldnt be in this much pain if my parents hadnt split...i would be happy and be a normal teenager doing normal things not doing what im doing to get away from my emotions.. to get away from myself and i dont think iw ould have to search for new flaws inside myself every day iw oudltn have to look for a reason i am unwanted....

Dannyboyy002: why does my heart skip a beat wen i c u? why does my soul laugh wen u say the simplest joke? why am i all into u

cuz of those little butterflies flying around in your tummy silly

cuz im just so funny lol jk

i dont know cuz im nothing special.. really... i dont see anythign in myself and i dont see why u should!! but thank you for flattering me

Juggalo 1110111: 1. Will you fuck me?
Juggalo 1110111: 2. Will you fuck me?
Juggalo 1110111: 3. Will you fuck me?
Juggalo 1110111: Have you ever wanted to kill someone?

yes

yes

yes lol

omg yes all the time.. but most of all myself.. because i could never hate anyone more than i hate msyelf... gr

Fal3nT3arz: why is life so fucked ?

because we allow it to be.. we are obsessed with ebing in control of things in life and one thing u cant crntrol is life.. its teh oen things taht is unobtanable and you cant control your emotions.. and we allow ourselves to get caught up in teh heat of teh moemnt and act upon impulse.. and noone takes teh time to understand eachother we just stick to what we think and what we feel .. and never listen to anything else...that we dotn agree with and we take eveyrhting for granted.. and want and want and want... until we use everything up and are upset.. we cause our own misery... every inch of it...

xX.Inspiration.Xx

:: 2004 17 April :: 1.10 pm

It's words you forget
To anniversary songs.
The bottles bite back,
Your tolerance wrong.

Your good intentions count for little anymore.
You're sorry why wage war?
I'm not fully convinced.
There's something wrong with this.
Could another point of view,
Biased and untrue,
Tear me away from you?

Will you be my valentine
If I'm a world away?
Apologies
Are breaking me.
Constants aren't so constant anymore.

Two days I wait for
Calls to come through.
Tonight for me translates
To yesterday to you.

Bend and you wave
You're barely away.
I wish I could say tonight
When you bend and wave goodbye
You'd take me with you.

Will you be my valentine
If I'm a world away?
Apologies
Are breaking me.
Constants aren't so constant anymore.
The constants aren't so constant anymore.

Will you be my valentine
If I'm a world away?
(Constants aren't so constant anymore.
Constants aren't so constant anymore. )

xX.Inspiration.Xx