The Voices In My Head

10 Ramblings | leave Your Two Cents

:: 2005 21 March :: 7.00pm
:: Mood: annoyed
:: Music: None

Fucked Up Weekend
Alright it's late and I just found out some fucked up shit. My 2nd bestfriend who is like a brother to me did some really stupid shit this weekend. After spending the last month or so trying to hook up with this girl he met online, saying all this shit about being in love with her and wanting to be with her, he goes and sleeps with his exgirlfriend who was drunk and upset. Then went to another one of our friends houses and broke there dam door trying to get to the girl he has been trying to hook up with. He has done some dum shit but this is a new low for him. I know he doesn't meen do this stuff but dam its getting old. I love him like a brother so I'm always at his side no matter what but I have to there other people too. In this case all the drama is between a bunch of my friends and its hard to bee there for everyone.
I know he is going to read this and I know he will get mad I wrote it but I want him to know that I'm here if he needs someone to talk too.

In other news I'm getting a motorcycle. This summer is going to rock!

Peace

8 Ramblings | leave Your Two Cents

:: 2005 20 March :: 12.42am
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: Twiztid - Whatthefuck!??!?!

the track says it all. What the fuck? I'm chilling here at this party, celebrating Blu's birthday at Holland, once again, and am not really having a good time. Jenny's here, Jessika's here, Mary's here, and Point Blank is here. But what the fuck is the reason that I'm not having a good time?

Mary and Blu are all over eachother. No, not the jealousy factor that is kicking in or anything, cuz I'm over her, and I'm glad that she is trying to move on and shit... But its in fucking public, and its in front of everyone at the party. Its causing mad fucking drama at the party, and them fucking in Blu's car has pretty much been the topic of conversation.

Mary has been jokingly threatened by JD, saying if you hurt him i'll hurt you, but thats how JD is. Josh (Blu) was trying to fuck Mary in Bella's room, and that ain't right cuz its his fucking niece. That bedroom is sacred for a 3 year old, and Josh was trying to fuck Mary in there... Right now they're fucking in Blus car, which is good because that stops him from driving around, and they're not fucking in front of everyone.

I spoke to Mary and she said she isn't all about one night stands. But I also spoke with Jessika, and Blu is at times... and the one thing that I was looking at was the fact that last night, me and Mary patched things up and we're friends again, and now, cuz I know about her mental stress, that this one night stand is gonna cause more mental stress on her, cuz she might or might not like Blu. I'm not dating her, but I still care about her, and this shit ain't cool, in my book. But Jessika said to me that Blu is gonna do what Blu wants to do.

So fuck it. Mary is gonna do what she wants to do, and I guess thats fuck Blu in his car. At least he isn't driving around drunk. He got pissed off about something and he was trying to leave. But if Mary is gonna fuck him, then I guess that prevents that... that and the fact that JD has his keys to his car. So they ain't going NO WHERE!

The whole thing is kind of a buzz kill, and that shit ain't cool. Oh well. As long as they ain't doing the same thing that JD and Jessika did last week, thats fine. I don't want them to get hurt... either of them. In any way, mental or physical. But since its already going to happen, i'm not gonna dwell on it.

Jenny Loves Me, cuz shes my kittle...

Anyways, Mary is still gonna be my friend, even though I think this is a bad idea. Cuz I think she could get emotionally attached to Josh, and meetup is gonna be fucked up in the latter days.

But I know how Trevor don't like my chapters in my life, so i'm gonna cut this short... You're a dick, son.

Peace n Chicken Grease

-Kreyz McKormik

:: 2005 17 March :: 6.30pm
:: Mood: anxious
:: Music: Avril Lavigne - I'm With You

Thats the song that I been listening to since maybe 2 days ago. I have been driving myself nuts listening to this song because its the song that I chose for Jessika from me.

I miss her so much. I haven't seen her in what seems to be an eternity which in return turns out to be pretty much the fifth day. If its only been 5 days, then why does it feel like months have passed by?

In my last entry, I was talking about how I was trippin' and all that other jazz... fuck it, if you wanna know, then look it up. My point being is that all of my friends... my CLOSEST friends are commenting on it, giving me some pretty good advice, and most of the time i'll listen to it, half the time I wont. But I've been in this predicament for so bad that I'll take anything I can get to help get back into good graces with Jessika, so i'll try to look that entry up more often to remind myself not to be a selfish jackass around her. She isn't my girlfriend, and as much as I'd like her to be, I have to remind myself that I'm just falling in love with her, and she just wants to be friends with me... right now...

But what i'm getting at is while all my closest friends, Jenny, Tom, Trevor... they're giving me this sweet advice... I get an annonymous bastard that says that they think i'm a stalker. Now, only 5 people know that I have a Woohu journal, and thats Tom, Trevor, Jenny, Jessika, and Mary... Jessika won't mask herself, cuz when she does make a post, she may be annonymous, but at least she makes a subject saying that its her. So I can only suspect one other person... so Mary, please leave me the hell alone on my journal and butt out of business that ain't yours. I don't post in your Xanga, so don't post in my woohu.

I been playing Pokemon for about a week now, and I have caught 34 pokemon. I believe thats counting evolutions, but I haven't made any pokemon fuck yet. Once I get a Ditto, the massive PokeOrgy will commense...

Today is thursday, which is the day that Jessika usually goes to work for her parents at their office, from around 5 to 730 ish. But today, I think she is going to gimme a call, and we might be able to hang out... So far, Its been 5 days like i've said, and I am really starting to miss her. I hope that she misses me too. If we do get to chill tonight, I'm not gonna try to do any advances unless shes the one who does the advancing... well, maybe the cuddling or me resting my head on her, but no kissing... cuz she wants to remain friends, so i'm gonna restrain myself, but kinda also send signals and shit... some subliminal shit... prolly play some bone thugs or something to set the mood, i don't know. Who the fuck knows? I'm a spontanious bastard, i'll tell you that tho... and I really wanna get her something... Something that will show her shes always on my mind from the time i wake up to the time I go to sleep. I got an idea, and DONT GUESS WHAT IT IS! Its gonna be kept secret...

Tom was supposed to help me out with fixing my car today, but he isn't here, and hasn't been here since I got home. He went to the bar with his dad, and now I have to help him fix my car in even colder weather. That is some bullshit... He had an obligation to be here when I got home at 445, and help me out with fixing my car, and he wasn't here, so now how am I supposed so be forced to suffer the cold, even tho I had to do such earlier while i was working... I think its kinda stupid, but if he ain't here by the time that I hopefully get a call from Jessika, fuck him. I'm gonna go pick her up... so he put himself in this predicament.

Well, I guess maybe not... I been outside for a half hour on my back fixing up my Serpentine belt. and it turned out that it was my tensioner that seized up and that caused my belt to fuck up. Tensioner sounds hella expensive to fix, but i gotta do what I gotta do to get my car up and running again.

Well, i'm pretty much done with this. Now all I have to do is wait for Jessika to either call me or get online. Oh God how I miss her so damn much...

2 Ramblings | leave Your Two Cents

:: 2005 17 March :: 6.00pm
:: Mood: lonely
:: Music: Muted

BYE.

:: 2005 16 March :: 6.00pm
:: Mood: lonely
:: Music: Jumpsteady - IF

Another day, another....., God Dam Day!
Not much to say, and no time to say it. Had to wait for five & a half hours to use my computer today. Nothing new. Called the Doc to day and I have to go see him next week. Well not him but I know I'll see one of his many nurses. Dudes never there.

I am so fucking bord! Work all day just come home and sit by myself. Well kev was here (on the computer), but I was deff' alone. It sucks.
I thought about drinking but I think I need to cut back a bit in that depo. La de da.... bord... bord bord bord bord bord.... BORD! I think I'll go into salitary confinement and just hide out for a week or so. Talk to nobody and sleep all day. That sounds fun, ........ NOT!

Life sucks!

Have a nice day.

Kreyz

:: 2005 15 March :: 8.04pm
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: 2Dirte - Get Drunk

These are the rare moments when I really do wanna just melt the confusion away with a few beers. Get my head screwed on straight.

Work was shitty, and slow. I just had a case of the blahs, and all I could think about was Jessika. How I wanted to talk to Jessika at all times, and I was wishing things were different than now. Oh god, I would give up everything I have to just be with her in a relationship. But thats not how things are, and probably won't ever be. Who knows, if I keep pushing myself into her life. The Problem with that is that shes resisting cuz i'm pushing so much, its smothering her, and I don't really have full intentions on doing that. I care about her so much, I'm just bored with all other forms of entertainment.

But I get home, and as usual, I wait for her to get online, and I guess I pretty much scared the fuck outta her, cuz of the smothering. I don't try to, I really don't. But I guess its just natural reaction...

But don't get me wrong. While I try hard as fuck to not do the things I do to stop myself, something slips, and boom... I start to scare her... and shit just keeps happening and happening and happening, and I've lost control... and I DONT KNOW WHAT IM DOING BY THEN!

What the fuck is wrong with me? Someone so wonderful has a slight interest in me, and I go haywire in all ways. I throw myself into these situations, and I do whatever I can to get the girl. This time its backfiring, and I have to come up with a new plan: Just be the girls God Damn friend and see how things turn out.

She tells me that she cares about me and she loves me like mad, but the situation that has been placed in front of her; Mark and his cheating ass, Donavin and her love for the Buddah Boo, Me and my Houdini trick where I just popped outta nowhere into her life... plus she can't move back in with her parents... also me with my smothering her... her life is messed up and she needs time to think about all this...

I say that I understand this, and I believe I do. But i'm becoming an impatient bastard over time... I think i'm losing my mind and really becoming Kreyz. Like Kevin Reynolds is kinda dying or something, I don't know...

I really don't know anymore. Life is getting fucked up as the world turns... These are the Days of our lives with the Bold and the Beautiful, the Young and the Restless, showing their Guiding Light to ER which is at the General Hospital. Ok, that was odd... Why did I do that? Probably hilarity value, so I hope it works...

But I plan on trying my fucking hardest and damnest to not smother Jessika anymore, at least until she jumps me or something. But I won't do any physical advances anymore, cuz I think that fucks up her thinking about stuff... and as much as I'd like for her to get into a relationship with me, I might have to face the fact that right now, she just wants to be friends. I'm so used to skipping the friends part, I guess that my way to handle it is to smother her. But that shit stops, and i'll try to be her friend... I guess I just gotta act the same way for her that I did when I started being friends with Jenny... It could work...

Well, thats my ranting, so tell me what you think, or gimme advice, and thanks for reading my shpeal.

Peace n Chicken Grease

-Kreyz McKormik

4 Ramblings | leave Your Two Cents

:: 2005 13 March :: 7.38pm
:: Mood: relieved
:: Music: Orgy - Blue Monday

Today from 7am to about 4pm was a fucking wreck...

Everyone from Jess's party was about ready to fucking drop. Jessika and JD wanted more alcohol and Jenny and I wanted to go home. So Jessika decided to go with JD and Jenny and I went home... I wanted Jessika to leave with us because I knew that JD was way too fucking drunk to drive and shit, but I didn't want to really cause confrontation with Jessika. I don't want to get into a fight with her ever, but when shes drunk... she don't really listen to reason. She listens to the back of her head that screams "MORE BOOZE!" and I really should have talked to JD... My mistake.

so we both left, and I told JD that I wanted him to be careful with how he was driving with Jessika in his truck, for she is worth more than all of my material posessions to me... IE my fucking NINTENDO and shit. Turned out I found out later he hit a guard rail and 4-5 mailboxes on the way back to his place. They made it there, but they were so fucking loaded that JD don't remember driving home, and Jessika don't really remember anything that happened once she got toasted at the party, except for her yelling at Jenny cuz she was massaging Jeremy and Blu's necks and making them damn near pass the fuck out on the floor. She was just doing that cuz Jennys dating Trevor and she knew it... but I say that cuz she was drunk, they were both being pissed off at eachother for no reason, and that there should be no cat fight beef here. Both of you ladies gotta know that. So be friends and squash the beef...

Once I left that trailor park, I swear to god I felt that something was going to happen. Granted that Jessika said that she was going to call me, I just had to try to get into contact with her. The whole way home, Jenny started to drift, and I was shaking like I was cold, but the heat was on. I was nervous, scared, and worried out of my mind...

But that was just the beginning. I got home and Jenny passed out on the Jenny-eating couch. I ran for the phone and dialed Jessikas number. 3 Ring... a ding a ding ding... Then I go to the voice mail (you better be saying that like in the ICP song 3 Rings). So i left a message. Paced around the house for 15 minutes, took a 15 minute nap, and woke up in a cold sweat, still shaking. Called again. Rinse, Repeat for about 4 or 6 times... i kept calling and calling, and i kept on getting the same deal. I was tripping like a mug, and I couldn't reach Jessika!

On the receiving end, tho. Turned out she was turning her phone off, cuz she was sleeping at JDs house the whole time... Good thing too, cuz she needed to sleep off the booze.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch... I am constantly pacing around the house, shaking like a leaf, terrified to go to sleep, puking from the medication vital signs is lookin' weak... well, that except for the puking and medication... But I was shaking very violently, and was getting hungry but didn't want to eat cuz the stress cramp was taking care of that.

FINALLY She calls me, and i don't even say hi... i say "Oh, thank God you're alright..." She and I talk, but she still sounds like shes drunk as a motherfucker and we only talk for about 5 minutes, as usual, and she lets me go...

I spoke with Jeremy and there were a few points here or there that did kinda console me... The only thing I had small trouble with was him saying that maybe she and JD were getting down or something. And I doubt that because I think that she is starting to get to like me... :)

Afterwards, Trevor comes over, and I take him and Jenny over to Jennys place. I say hi to Mom and give her a hug as usual... I told them i was gonna consume the internet for a minute, so i could see if Jessika was home and surfin' the webby web... Nope, but Jess was on. And she and I talked for a while, and once again, we came up with the question as to why Jessika would be leaving with JD instead of me. She says that Jessika told her that she thought "JD looked hot" and i said she thought I looked hot too... "aparently, not hot enough." I took that to heart. And I just said well, why would she leave with JD, even tho he was drunk as a motherfucker? "Sex?" Doubt it. "Well, she sure isn't there to play video games, you think?" ouch... Seriously ouch. I felt like a fuckin' scepter rammed into my stomach and twisted like a corkscrew... I just jumped off the comp and told her i had to think about things. So I just hopped in my car and was yelling babbling about whats been going on all day, and my feelings towards her, which are heavily strong. But to whom? Myself, and I started to make myself cry. I don't cry all that often, but when I do, I feel that its something thats seriously to heart. And this was some heart breaking shit, cuz that was pretty much a possibility, but I just didn't wanna believe it...

I got home and hopped back online, and Jess IMed me, asking if i tried calling Jessika's cellphone. Yes I did but how she knew was at first astonishing... but she tells me that she's talking to JD and he just said that her phone started ringing, and she's still asleep. But he wanted to know if i could pick her up, and HELL FUCKING YES I would not mind doing it for a second. This is the girl that i'm so infatuated with, I spent nearly over 24 hours not eating for...

I drove once again back to Holland to pick up Jessika, and i'm going 80-85, with no problems... Once I get to the main roads, I hear a thunk, and I don't know what the fuck it was... i thought it mighta been the tire, but i got lucky... it wasnt the tire... So i continued and finally got to JDs house. She was just getting up cuz he didn't wake her up till i got there, and she was suprised to see me. I just was so extatic to see her, I didn't care what happened over there. Which was that cuz JD hit a guard rail and 5 mailboxes, now his truck don't start. So he couldn't drive her back home, and so I had to.

We drive back on our way, and I notice that my engine temp is almost above normal, so i stopped at a gas station and checked out whats going on under my hood. My fanbelt snapped and got wound up in the heater, so thats what caused my car to not have steering... so I yanked the bitch out of my engine, and took off straight for my place, and I explained the situation to Jessika. She started phoning people to find a ride home, cuz she had a hang over like a bitch and wanted to get home ASAP so she could go back to her motherly duties with Donavin. Understandable, and thats why I love her, cuz shes like a mom, and thats someone that could take care of me... and my young... while i raise them too!

So we get home and she finally gets ahold of Chewy, a friend of hers, which turned out to be my homie Fuzzy Nizzos. Haven't heard from that kid in a grip so it was good to see him. While he was looking for my fuckin' place, Jessika laid on my couch and i put a blanket over her and stroked her hair till she fell asleep, comforting her, trying to make her feel better. I know how bad it feels to have a hangover, cuz I fuck with anyone who has one, pretty much, but not in this case, cuz I believe that I have totally fallen in love with her.

So i just kept her comfy until Nizzos came over and scooped her up, whereas I just chilled until she came online, and thats pretty much where I stand right now...

except where I helped Mary get hooked up with this dude I know, Point Blank, who I performed in the concert with last friday. I gave eachother eachothers phone numbers, and hope for the best for them...

Other than that, nothing else. I got up to the 3rd gym in Pokemon so i'm fresh now... but i'm out so have fun later in life

Peace n Chicken Grease...
-Kreyz McKormik

5 Ramblings | leave Your Two Cents

:: 2005 13 March :: 2.29am
:: Mood: Buzzed
:: Music: Pernod Fils - Could Have Been

Well, i know that today is technically Sunday, but fuck ya'll i'm needin' to update my shit, anyways.

We got home from the concert friday pretty much the next morning around 4 or something. Man, the ride back home was like eating shittles. Before Pernod Fils even got to do his fucking set, Tom Jenny and Jessika had to leave because the girls weren't feeling so hot. I was a little pissed because of the fact that my selfish side wanted to be with Jessika some more, but I was being logical and thought about them first... I decided to ask Pernod if he'd be able to take me home. He was already taking Point Blank and Jeremy home, but theres enough room for one more, and he was really being a nice dude. So he said he'd be straight with taking me home... so I hung out with Point Blank until we helped out Pernod with his set.

The set Idea was pretty fresh. We were the... "something" of the fifth dimension, and what we did was sport some druid cloaks and wearing some strange looking masks, while we were wielding some fake B.B. Uzi Gats. What me and Blank were supposed to do was we were to bounce to the beat, and entertain the crowd... only problems were that 1.) not much of a crowd and 2.) I COULDN'T SEE SHIT without my glasses. Plus the fuckin' masks were made of hard rubber, so it was raining in my fuckin' mask. But it was all good, tho. My fuckin' back hurt, my fuckin' feet hurt cuz we stood still for damn near 30 minutes solid... i didn't move my legs. I just did what came to mind, and Blank did same...

What I did was when the beat played, i bounced to it. When the music stopped and i couldn't hear it, i would stop moving and look slowly left to right. I had mad fun being on stage, it was so fucking fresh.

I did neglect to mention that I did do my fuckin' set at 700, and Tragidy introduced me like i was the next best thing. I have a feeling that I have the talent and the spirit for it, but it was fucking first time jitters cuz i was on a bright ass stage in front of more people i don't fucking know than the ones i do. After my set, and a few hiccups while on the set, i started talking to Point Blank, Pernod Fils, and Wikke. Wikke, tho he was drunk, was a pretty cool guy. He told me a few tips and I hope that I'll be able to keep them in my head for the next time...

I hope that by April 22, i will be able to have my voice recorded on my beats, so that way i'll have something to help me pick up when i do more hiccups. Cuz Every time i had a hiccup in my flow, i would admit that I fucked up, and thats something that you're not supposed to do... Cuz for your first time, the fans won't know if you fucked up or not, but its hard when you have just straight beats, and you're thinking about it too hard. WHICH I WAS but fuck it...

I got home around 4am and woke up at 120pm... Where my boy Kyle was on the phone, and he chilled. He told me that he quit smoking cigarettes, but he still smokes weed. Thats fine with me, but I just hope that he don't constantly talk about weed like he did before. INCESANTLY talking about weed gets on my nerves. I mean, I like weed, but its not something I worship. But its all in the good, other than that.

After a while, Trevor came over, and he immediately sat down next to Jenny. I had to go pick up Jessika so I could take her to meetup and we also had to go and get some shit for Jess's party. We got some fresh ass confetti cake mix for cupcakes, and I got a brownie pan for brownies. I wanted to make brownies for Jess, and Jess wanted Jessika to make her confetti cupcakes. We had to stay at my house baking shit for until about 6-630 and we then left for meetup.

When we got there, There was Tom, Trevor, Jenny, Jay, Jess, Mary, Blu, Jeremy, John, some dude named Dan, and then it was me, Jessika, and Kyle. They already had food ready and shit for them so we made our order, and shot the shit with errybody.

Good meetup, i'd have to say. Afterwards, on to Jess and Jays house for the birthday party. From what I heard is that Jessika and Mary kinda got into a dispute about whether or not I will change for Jessika IF we were to hook up. Jessika had my back for real. I'm glad, too, because I no longer give a flying fuck about what Mary had to say anymore. And I had to know that Jessika loved me for real.... she just didn't know how to show it. She's mad confused but i know the love is still there...AND I MUST ADD THAT SHE THINKS THAT ME IN A SKIRT IS SO FUCKING SEXY THAT SHE WOULD SO BANG ME IN HEART BEAT...(added by Jessika) but concerning Mary, Fuck that shit, because I feel that all she causes is drama.

Shit, she even tried to do it while I was driving her and Kyle home. Bull ass shit! She finally told me about why her dad was telling her not to support my act, and its just mainly because of the fact that he didn't think I supported her. Fuck that, cuz I did. I honestly did. But everyone else is all giddy and lookin' stupid as fuck when they do their shpeal, and I just was like hey great, because thats just how I was. I do indeed support her act with the greatest of ease, and I'm glad that I have support from her, but her father is just being a prick because his life went no where he wanted it to be so I guess hes gotta try to make everyone else's lives miserable. Fuck that motherfuckin' Mole-Faced prick.

And She and I were getting into a talk about this, and the fact that her and my friendship is going downward, cuz I guess I don't hang out with her and don't talk to her no more. But what else is there to talk about nowadays except for current events? I've already pretty much told her everything about my life... that I could think of at specific times, and she just constantly complains. And I don't want to have that drama bullshit all around me anymore. She, I guess, don't see it, but whatever. Thats pretty much the only reason why I don't wanna hang out with her.

I know shes gonna peep this shit and say something stupid, so i'll just save you the time, Mary, and shut the hell up aready, because whatever you say isn't gonna make me happy and wanna chill with you anymore...

After I dropped off kyle and Mary, I went back home and got some pillows and a few blankets and a Jenny... but only after Jenny and Trevor finished fucking in my bedroom. That room stunk like so much sex it was fuckin raunchy and I gagged. their sex sweat smelled so bad... *barfs* But I had to get my pillows and Jenny wanted to go, too.

So far, its been a pretty good party, and the girls are getting constantly harrassed by all the drunken ninjas at this party. lol its pretty great, and they're all calling me a fag cuz i'm wearing my skirt. lol I don't care cuz i'm just iggyin' it for the entertainment value. I'm prolly the only one here whose sober, and I kinda isolated myself from the rest of the party just to post this... everyones callin me names and shit for doin' it... I think that Jay went into the bathroom to fuckin' puke, but its all good in the hood, as Jessika would pretty much put it...

JD is here, too. I haven't seen him since last year or so at the Radio Tavern, when we were both hitting on the same girl, Tish. He has talked to me more tonight than he has in the last 2-3 years i've known him. I think its just cuz hes drunk as fuck and so he don't give a fuck. Its all good. Hes a plethora of emotion when hes drunk. Hes nice, but he wants to stab somebody, but i think hes jokin' around with that. And so far, him and blu have been spillin' booze and shit all over the place, but whatever. Its still good.

Jeremy recently showed up, and i think he was already toasted before he got there. Everyone but me and maybe Jess and/or Jenny are drunk. Jay is barfing, and passing out with his head in the bowl. But ive taken too long doing. So i'm gonna slide out and enjoy the rest of the party... so...

PEACE n CHICKEN GREASE

-Kreyz McKormik

10 Ramblings | leave Your Two Cents

:: 2005 13 March :: 2.00pm
:: Mood: lonely
:: Music: ICP - Fuck The World

Why?
Hay y'all, whats up? This is my first entry so please bare with me. All my friends post their shit here so I thought I would give it a try. I'm not much for airing out my dirty laundry but what the fuck, why not? I ain't got anyone else to talk too. Please forgive my spelling and grammer, my brain does not work right. I don'y even know were to start.

Have you ever been around a 100 people and still felt all alone. I have, all weekend. I spent the weekend with some of my best friends. We went to Detriot for a show my friend Kev was in. It was really fun but the car ride sucked. My fucking legs were killing me when I got back. I went with my friends Kev, jenny, and jess. I met so many people at the show, it was cool. This one guy really pissed me off though. He was some punk with tall ass spikes on his head, my friends jenny & jess thought he was hot ( I wouldn't know ) and he seemed cool at first. Jenny kept trying to get a pic of him on her camera and got into a jello slinging fight with him and his friends (wich were mostly female). She seemed to think he was cool, but I thought differently. I was sitting in the smoke room all by myself for like 15 min and jenn had just left and he started talking to his bitch friends about here. Saying shit about how short she is (now I crack jokes about her hight all the time but its all out of love and I think she knows that) and about how she looked and shit. So I told him to shut the fuck up and he made a crack about me being too fat be with her so I told him that she was my best friends girl and my friend so if he said one more word I crack his jaw over the god dam bar or ice cream counter, what ever the fuck that was. He just smiled and left, I was going to tell jenny but I thought it might just bring her down so I told her he was a dick and she yelled at me so I just shut up. She can think what ever she wants but he was a dick. Other than that one guy the hole night rocked ass. It was one of the coolest indy shows I have ever been too. What sucked was driving home in the worst dam snow storm ever, I thought I was driving in a corn field for a second because there was no light and I couldn't see any markers. We made it home but dam was I scared. I couldn't show it though because I think if I had, Jenn & Jess would have flipped out or some thing. As long as they thought I knew what I was doing It would be just fine.

In other news I haven't realy talked to my friends like I used too, as of late. When ever I talk to anyone it is always about them and thier problems because I'm more of listener than a talker. But Some thing has been bothering me for a couple of weeks and I need to get it off my chest. I think there is something wrong with me. For about the last three weeks I have been getting these really bad dizzy spells and shit, just out of nowere. I haven't told any one but I'm starting to get scared because they are getting worse. I'll just be standing somewere and my vison will get all fucked up and I can't tell my hand from the asshole next to me. It only lasts for a min or so but it fucks me up. I get all dizzy and sick in my gut and my brain hurts. Fuck it! It will go away, or I'll die one way or another it will stop. Oh well.

Well thats all I have to say today It's like three in the morning and shit so I think I'll go But y'all be cool and remember that you should do one really good thing every day. Put out your hand and help someone, hay who knows some day you may need help and it's easier to get some if you have given some. If everyone helps one person every day than the world will be full of love, life is to short to spend it hateing and debateing. So next time you see a friend frown or look all pissed give 'em a hug, if they ask why just say because and hug 'em again. Ones life may not be long, but with love & friendship it can be good.

Please leave this site knowing you have my love, weather I know you or not.
Peace!

:: 2005 11 March :: 9.13am
:: Mood: uncomfortable
:: Music: Lonestar - Amazed

well, its the day of my concert, and i'm feeling quite ok about how i'm going to perform. Last night Mary IM'ed me on AIM and she told me that she has my support, even though she isn't supposed to... cuz her daddy said so... well, "Dad..." FUCK YOU! You don't know shit about shit, and Mary is my friend, so I'm pretty fuckin' glad that she went behind your back to tell me shes got my support. Thats a homie, right there.

Trevor was on the computer at my place talking to Jenny when I got home from work. He said that Jenny was ready to get picked up, and so we left with the quickness... even though we didn't get there with the usual half-hour quickness. Jenny's mom said that 131 was piled the fuck up because of some traffic accident, and that was caused by the fuckin' weather. Fuckin' snow. Oh well, we at least got there, by taking Division from 68th street all the way to her house, once it turned into the beltline. Which pissed me off, cuz I saw something that I couldn't believe... from 28th street up to Leonard, the city is changing Division to Martin Luther King Boulevard. DOES EVERY CITY IN EVERY FUCKING STATE NEED TO HAVE A MARTIN LUTHER KING BOULEVARD?! It really angered me, because granted Martin Luther King was a great man, and an awesome visionary... doesn't mean hes gotta be everywhere. I guess this might be either someones idea of a joke, or a way to "clean up the ghetto." But being juggalos, we know that no one gives a shit about the ghetto. They could rebuild it with a few million dollars here and there, and everything would be peachy. But they don't care, and we know it...

We got to Jennys in about an hour and a half... pretty good, considering the road conditions. What next to do would be for us to go to my place and wait for Jessika to call me.

Jessika did call, and we had to wait from 7 to pretty much midnight before I decided to call her cell phone. I went to go pick her up and bring her back here to my place. Not bad, and we got home, Trevor was just about ready to leave. I blocked his way to make him get out of his truck and meet Jessika for the first time. It was funny.

We get inside, and the party pretty much starts. Tom came home with a fifth of Vodka and O.J., while Jessika brought two 3-liters of Faygo Moon Mist. We chilled around and watched Super Troopers and part of Texas Chainsaw Massacre... Part of it, because Jessika said she was tired and we went to my room. Yeah, I was tired, too, but I didn't wanna sleep until she was ready to. So we went into my next and commenced with the... sleeping... for about 2 minutes, until we started making out. I believe that she liked it. I don't doubt myself in that field, pretty much. Afterwards, she tells me that shes gonna go out and have a cigarette, and come back in the room with me. I said ok. I had to pee after a short while, and so I go out of my room, and shes sitting with Tom at the computer. That don't look like a cigarette, to me. Tom was trying to find songs from Tales from the Crypt: the Christmas album or something, and she kept on trying to do searches based on ICP x-mas or Twiztid x-mas. Both me and Tom were telling her thats not what he was looking for, but she said that it wouldn't hurt to try...

Well, after about 3 or so minutes of me just standing there, i just said fuck it, i'm going to bed cuz i'm tired as fuck. Jessika says she'll be there in a few minutes. I hop into my nest and i konk the fuck out, only to be awoken by Tom in about an hour cuz Earl called me to try to get me to work for snow removal. Someone must have scratched off my name on the calendar cuz I wrote that i had today off for my concert, and Earl didn't know... even though i been stoked about it for the past month and shit... And Tom also was telling me that Jessika didn't want to come into the bed with me cuz she was afraid of letting me on... so shes gonna sleep on toms bed and toms gonna sleep on the floor.

First off, i didn't understand what she meant by "leading me on?" I know already that she has problems with personal shit that needs personal attention. So she could have slept next to me and there wouldn't have been any problem. And besides, that was KINDA THE PLAN to have her sleep next to me, cuz she said she has problems sleeping at night, and I wanted to be the man who would kinda help her out with that... if not, just to give it a try, but nope, I went from that to a contributer. That upset me, but I didn't wanna cause a scene and get royally pissed about something so menial, so I just agreed.

I go back to sleep after about 1 second, and I wake up around 845. I walk into Toms bedroom to take a shower in my bathroom, and lo and behold, they're in the same bed together. I was kinda tiffed at that cuz tom said he'd be sleeping on the floor. The sealy posture-pedic doesn't look like a floor... that looks like a bed. The floor is hard, but that still isnt' cool.

I take my shower, and its about 915, and they're still asleep. I need Jessika awake so I can take her with me to Sally Beauty Supply to get my shit for dying my hair, cuz I don't know what I need so I can't do it myself. Besides, I need this shit done before 1 and by the time all this shit is situated, its gonna be 11 or so.

I guess i'm done being pissed off, so i'm gonna go wake her up some, reguardless of whether or not i get beat. So i'll catch you on the flip flop...

Peace n Chicken Grease

-Kreyz McKormik

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5 Ramblings | leave Your Two Cents

:: 2005 9 March :: 5.44pm
:: Mood: Apathetic... If I wasn't so lethargic...
:: Music: Usher - Lovers and Friends ft. Ludacris and Lil' Jon

Well, Work sucked as usual. I had to vacuum the window sills and get the dead insects outta them bitches. I wasn't gonna complain about it, cuz I never do... and cuz it isn't groundskeepers work. Around 1115 I decided to go find someone and vent. I also had to help the other three groundskeepers with shoving a heater in a dumpster. We had to flip the bitch over, and shove the heater in the dumpster while it was still up on the ledge, and lifting that heater was a bitch. But it got done in about 15 minutes tops... I am not that strong of a guy, but I think my contribution kinda helped quite a bit.

I don't know how Sam does it, but he takes any water heater he's replacing and drags the bitch to a dumpster at the way end of the apartment complex BY HIMSELF! What, is he taking roids or something? Fuck, man. Hes gonna kill himself he continues doing that. Thats why I don't ever overexert myself, cuz I think that I'll live longer if i don't. Keep in mind I still do throw my weight around, though.

Well, I came to a decision with what i'm gonna start doing with my extra segments and that is that after my concert is when i'm gonna start doing my segments. So far, I have:

STORY TIME BITCH!
rAndOm vEntIng

and thats about it...Hopefully the faithful readers, stalkers and myself will come up with more ideas, possibly random links or something, I don't know, but you people out there have a deadline...

I am dying to try out this new bracket system I came up with, which will be strictly for the juggalos, and it will take for fucking ever. But it worth the wait for the finish.

This is the idea... over the years, ICP has accomplished so much and have met a lot of people. So where I come in is that I will do some research on the people they've met, known, and toured with. Then I will write these names down, and start up the juggalo random fight bracket. What is the JRFB, you ask? Simple explanation. In the past three years, www.gamefaqs.com had done a summer bracket tournament to see who is the most popular video game character, according to the fans of Gamefaqs... Granted more people are thinking "which of these 2 would win in a fight" when they shouldn't for the Gamefaqs tournament... They ARE going to for mine. But thats not just the twist... theres quite a few...

First twist is who would win in a street fight/wrestling match/what the fuckever...

The second twist is the way that the brackets are set up. Theres no set way. They all rely on the roll of a die... a 6 sided die that I will roll will determine what kind of match there will be...

1= 1 on 1
2= 2 on 2
3= 3 on 3
4= 1 on 1 on 1
5= 2 on 2 on 2
6= 1 on 1 on 1 on 1 on 1 on 1

Then how they are determined is simple. I take the whole fucking stack (which consists of scratch paper that has specific names for each type of match on them), and THROW IT UP IN THE AIR! Then for the right amount of names needed, i will close my eyes and pick them... these are the selected motherfuckers for the deemed fight.

Then the third twist is how long people have to vote for their selectant... with a Different die...The ol' 20-sided D&D die. Whatever this die lands on will determine how long the battle will ensue. Whoever of the selected has the most votes will continue to the next bracket...

BUT theres yet another twist. Lets say you decide your pick... IE Shaggy 2 Dope. and hes fighting Bizzy Bone... You have to say why you think that Shaggy would fuck up Bizzy... you cant say "I choose Shaggy cuz I think hes a cutie" Because that just says you're an obsessive idiot and your vote is cast aside. Make sense with your reason.

In the result of a tie, they both win, and go into the next bracket... If theres more than 2 combatants and only 2 get a tie, then the two who tie continue, and the third one is defeated...

And the fourth, and final twist... You know how normal brackets have this?

ICP vs. Bizzy & Wish Twiztid vs. Blaze & ABK
____ \____________________/
_____\___________________/
__Bizzy & Wish _ vs. _ Blaze & ABK

FUCK THAT SHIT! This is the twist! The next bracket is chosen at fucking RANDOM! BACK TO THE THROWING THE STACK IN THE AIR!

This shit continues basically until theres a winner.

but heres the bust. Before I start this, I want about maybe 25-50 people in on this, and to pick thier favorite who they think is gonna win it all the way. To ensure one winner, they can't pick someone that is already picked. And whoever is the winner gets to have a basket of Psy shit, courtesy of myself, and a hug or a handshake with a piece of paper certificate bearing that they were the winner of the first JRFB.

Oh yeah, i almost forgot, there will also be a LOSERS bracket which will be done after the winners have their deal.. So that way everyone who lost gets a second chance... but in the losers bracket, you lose again, you're gone for good, paper to the burning barrel...

Sound cool? tell your juggalo homies, and spread the word, see if they're down for free shit...

thats all for now, i'll prolly update later... but keep in the ideas...

Peace n Chicken Grease

-Kreyz McKormik

:: 2005 8 March :: 5.16pm
:: Mood: blank
:: Music: Pokemon Theme

Hey, the Pokemon Theme is better than the Hamster Dance AND Banana Phone, so mleh to you!

I made up a new word... NORK! Its the comination of Nerd and Dork. NORK! I already called Jenny a Nork so haha, its working... YOU NORK!

Ok, I have come up with a solution for what I will be writing down for my journals. After reading this, you, the sheep, will tell me what you want me to write about, and I, the master, will put them up for you... lol

First thing I will do, starting tomorrow, is bringing back STORY TIME BITCH! And whatever you guys want me to write about next will be something that I will add as well, and if i come up with something, i'll write about it... i promise...

BTW, I just defeated a Geodude using a Pikachu... ohhh?

Peace n Chicken Grease

-Kreyz McKormik

:: 2005 8 March :: 5.13pm

~*What Would You Do If:*~
� I died from natural causes:
� I said I liked you:
� I kissed you:
� I lived next door to you:
� I started smoking:
� I stole something:
� I was hospitalized:
� I ran away from home:
� I got into a fight and you weren't there:
~*What Do You Think About My:*~
� Personality:
� Eyes:
� Hair
� Family:
~*Would You:*~
� Be my friend?:
� Keep a secret if I told you one?:
� Hold my hand?:
� Take a bullet for me?:
� Keep in touch?:
� Try and solve my problems?:
� Love me?:
� Date me?:
~*Have You Ever:*~
� Lied to make me feel better?:
� Wanted to kiss me?:
� Wanted to kill me?:
� Broke my heart?:
� Kept something important from me?:
� Thought I was unbearably annoying?:
~*::And More::*~
� Who are you?
� Are we friends?
� When and how did we meet?
� Describe me in one word.
� What was your first impression?
� Do you still think that way about me now?
� What reminds you of me?
�. If you could give me anything what would it be?
� How well do you know me?
� When's the last time you saw me?
� Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
�Are you gonna put this on yours to see what I say about you?

I found this on Jessika's Xanga, so since I put yes on the last question, i thought i might as well live up to the bargain...

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