It's gettin' hot out therre
The warmer it gets, the less people wear, the more skin they show.

Have you ever had a time in your life like there was so much potential? Like life is more than you but is completely about you. It's a strange feeling to put into words. I realize that I am living history. Funny thing history is, maybe that is why I love it. The study of the present in the future, ever think about it that way? We're going to war. As in everything the oppostition has a more intelligent arguement, or at least it seems like it. For me I am skeptical of the way a war is portrayed. I still support it, but I can come up with some very damaging questons about needing to go to war. I mean it feels like we've eliminated everyone else who is opposed to us. Now were going after a smaller insignificant opposition. I can't come up with a comparable analogy, but it's like winning all the heavy weight championships and then fighting in feather weight matches. It's almost a feeling that I have to support the war, and to a certain extent I do. I think it is a necessary evil, however it could do a lot of harm in the process.

As far as social change goes, I feel like there is a new era on the horizon. We're stuck in this materialistic society that consumes everything and tries it's hardest to consume even basic human love such as love and happiness. We have replaced love with spending power. Although this isn't our doing (our parents generation), we allow it to continue. I was reading about how college student got fed up with being trained to be corporate clerks and that is what sparked the Freedom Summer of '68 and the Summer of Love in '69, where is that in our generation. People drink and party because, hell, what else is there to do. A lot more, it's just we don't believe that we can do anything about it. Sometimes I wonder if my fantasies aren't something everybody goes through. my dreams of writing, of having a real impact on society. it thought those dreams were unrealistic because I saw so many adults in places where there talents that would be great for those areas were instead in another profession. Perhaps they never had the dream. I do have my dreams like that. Jessa reminded me lately with her posts. It's the freshness of the ideas, the optimism. Not many people here have that. Not many people have that passion. Far too many people who have the Christian faith do not have the passion. They don't like to say things are wrong but they are. I want to have passion. Passion for life, passion for a cause, passion for my cause. I know there are people out there who agree with me, but not many make and idealistic transition from childhood to post-adolescense, and eve less into adulthood. So if your out there, no matter if I agree with you or not, if you hold that passion, I believe that our generation will be alright.

So many questions. So much to do so little time.
Ah, back to school. Break was nice, not. Softball starts today. Good. So many things to do this month. Not enough time though. Have to catch the bus. Bye.

Haven't they made a movie about this already? Well maybe they should.
- A guy that spends his whole life watching an internet journal site observing other peoples lifes by what they say. Of course, the never update, so he goes forever being completely withdrawn.

- A guy who works in a fast food resturaunt, but is really a genious, except no one knows it because he seems to be so inept at his job.

- A musician who gets into the real world and realize he's not as good as everybody says he is. However, he stays true to himself and is never really successful, but is happy with his life.

- A guy who spends his whole life in a bar, however has never had a drop of alcohol in his life.

- A guy who doesn't trust women any farther than he can throw the race collectively.

- A kid who's parents go to bed every night really early and kick him off the internet because they are unwilling to run a phone line to his room.

My take on the CSHS v. Woohu.com situation
To my fellow Woohu brethren,

Today we see a mounting threat aimed at shutting down a part of our lives that is absolutely integral. Something that a year ago, many of us knew, or even cared about. Now, at this juncture, fate has placed us here to defend that which is so important to us. We cannot allow the evil educators who we come into contact everyday to continue to wage war against our community. We must stand up in a great rebellion. We must repulse there threats against us and come back with more of our own. We know what is best for us, not those who claim to educate us. The are righteous and pious, we must reject those values. We must save our language, our slang terms and profanity laden thoughts must not be allowed to be extinguished by their "proper" English. We must bond together to make this community a rally point against their ideals and morals. Instead of letting them turn us into supposedly educated and widely accepted individuals of a diverse and respectable society, we need to fight them. We need to struggle for our communal thinking. Our cause will never be defeated.

Your Woohu.com brother,

Charlie Campbell

Lavity
SO I woke up this morning, sat up in bed and the whole room was spinning. I had no sense of equilibrium at all. Because of this I began to get sick. So I laid back down, it went away. Got back up fifteen minutes later, same thing. Told my mom I wasn't going to my first two classes, laid back down and slept for another hour. I think my body was trying to tell me something. I am working 30+ hours this week, but I've missed one day in each of my classes except Concert Band and Philosophy. Something has got to give. Either my classes, my social life, my spiritual life, or my job have to come out of this stagnate period. If Berkeley was right, and were all just minds that exist and everything that we experience isn't really there, it's just a pattern that is the same to all of us, then everyone has reacted the same way. No one seems optimistic about anything. This season is going to drag on and on, the economy is not going to get any better, were going to war that we won't win right away, my education will be stagnated. My interest in everything except sleep has dropped to zero.

The keys to a successful relationship: Homogeny. Homgeny in everything. The same societal viewpoints, the same aesthetic level, the same socioeconomic level. That's why Cinderella is such a fairy tale, it will never happen in real life.

Some lady spilled pop all over herself yesterday after I had handed her her drink. She asked to see a manager. I almost lost it. I almost broke down and started bawling for like fifteen minutes after that. I don't know why. I don't cry much. When I do have an outlet of emotino its because something has been building for awhile, but I don't know what that is. Nothing is frustrating me right now. I wish it was. I wish there was something that was bothering me, at least it would be interesting. But there isn't. Everything is so slow and so dead right now, there is nothing.

The sun overhead warms my heart,
Yet my body remains cold.
My eyes see the light,
Yet my body remains dark.
I feel the sweat in my brow,
Yet I feel no work.
I hear the pounding in my chest,
But there is no urge.
Then I come to a conclusion,
The light you cast is not for me,
But for another I can never be.

People
"Get it now, Valentine's Day is almost over." Can society get anymore stupid? Valentine's Day is one day, Valentine's Day is still nine days away. Why is there this emphasis?

I was listening to NPR last night and I heard something that demonstrates how stupid Americans are. A guy actually said that Colin Powell is the most pwerful African-American in the world. Wouldn't Colin Powell be the most powerful African-American in America? Things have been so desensetized and racized that we can no longer call people black. It was obvious that the context in which the idea was meant was that Colin Powell is the most powerful black man in the world. However, we wouldn't want to offend anybody.

It's kind of like the two girls sitting next to me. Several people have come by looking for a computer to use. Yet they consider to sit there and carry on conversation, not using the computer. This seems like terrible stupidity. No consideration.

Maybe the stress is getting to me. Or maybe I'm just making up the stress. Everything seems like a constant hassle. Going classes that are boring and redundant, working a job that makes me have to deal with incompetent people. Home is fine, but there is always that concern that if I don't do something right that I could get kicked out. So I just try to be gone as much as I can and then maybe I won't get into any fights.

Maybe I'm just sick of winter. I want all this to be done. I want sunshine again, I want fishing again. So am I yet another victim od SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). Even though in psychological terms it doesn't really exist I think I am. I'm tired of the bad roads, the death, the lack of sleep, the abundance of darkness.

I look into the light
And what do I see?
A little bird peering down at me
Graceful as a dove
As fast as a falcon
I pray it will carry me to heaven.

After a while you begin to wonder. With no relationships in the last year and none on the horizon, is there going to be another? I mean I am only 18, but what about three years from now, or even six, when nothing has happened. I don't want to say that I am truly afraid of being alone, because I am not. If the plan for me was to be alone then I will be prepared for it. I don't want to force the issue either. Too many bad things have happened when I have pursued relationships. I am truly lonely, but thsi keyboard is starting to make me mad. It is very stick and I have to pound on the keys to make it work. It sounds like I am typing on a type writer.

I also went to a meeting/bible study on Wednesday. It was horrible. Instead of lending any true insight, all they did was bash Catholics. There are a lot more important things on university campuses to be discussing than bashing Catholics, I think it is a very narrow minded approach. I hate this keyboard.

J.G. Sietz
It's kind of cool. I found a work by this guy named J.G. Sietz. His ideas are really profound. I'll post some his stuff later.

Bump
My classes are so boring. Sure, I guess what most of you out there would consider boring, is actually very interesting to me. Like my PoliSci class were discussing the European political system, pre and post World War I-II. Stupid things too like the father of modern sociology was Max Weber (said as Vehber). Otherwise it's pretty boring.

I got done listening to "Chasing the Dawn" on tape. For those of you who don't know, it ws a book written by Jewel (the artist) while she was on the road. It is all free flowing thoughts, memories and insights. There is so much more I want to explore. Liberal Studies seemed to put it all together for me last semester. I really want to take another one of those courses to see if I was dreaming or if it really does connect with a lot of the ways I would like to approach my education and my life. I want to be liberally educated, there's so much more out there to see.

I feel like I need to find a new job. The one I have is okay. I like the people I work with, I'll be lucky if I can find any other job that has bosses as nice as this one, but it's just getting boring. I kind of need a bump in the road to get me going again. I've fallen into that pattern of dealing with problems as they come to me instead of being on top of it so I can prevent them from happening. Plus I want to regrow my beard because it is so cold outside.

Riddle
Six black balls floating in the sky
Choose the wrong one and we all die
Three bright lights hovering by your side
Choose the wrong one and six universes collide
Two purple squares upon a wall
Choose the wrong one and three kingdoms will fall
Sixty blue dots on a television from '53
Choose the right one and the wall will scream

Can you solve it? So no one dies.

Work
So last night goes fine. I had to do all of the decking and clean the grill. Okay, I got all the shit work because I was the only guy, that's okay once in awhile. Well, today is another day. Forget what I did yesterday, it's all about what I can do today. No breaks for those who work hard, only the slackers. I try to be a nice guy, cover a four hour shift today and tomorrow, well the guy I was covering for is out of jail. So I get to work, he's there, I'm there. Simple right, I go home, no. The other male closer for tonight (which I am closing again tonight) called in. His doctor is going to induce labor in his girlfriend. Nevermind that this is the second kid he's popped out of this girl and he is only nineteen. He's also got a warrant out for his arrest. But hey, cna we ask for good workers, no. So the ask another guy to cover his close. Great, except he's already worked nine hours today and that would put him well over a twelve hour workday. Don't worry though, he won't be on overtime because in fast food there is no such thing as an eight hour work day. So finally I make it home, I'm going back at six to survey the situation. I don't get paid enough for this.