<marquee>i LoVeD dEePeR aNd I sPoKe SwEeTeR</marquee>

i LoVeD dEePeR aNd I sPoKe SwEeTeR

:: 2004 8 August :: 1.52am
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: Your Star x All American Rejects

Turning to you is like falling in love when your ten...

yay new brushes.. yay new background :-)

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The six basic sleeping positions and the personality traits:

Sleep Position No. 1: Crouched in the fetal position: Shy and sensitive

Sleep Position No. 2: Soldier position flat on the back with arms at the sides: Quiet and reserved

Sleep Position No. 3: On the side with legs outstretched and arms down: Social and easy-going

Sleep Position No. 4: On the side with legs outstretched and arms outstretched: Suspicious

Sleep Position No. 5: Flat on the tummy with hands at the sides of the head: Brash and gregarious

Sleep Position No. 6: On the back with outstretched arms and legs: Unassuming and a good listener

Crouched in the fetal position is most common way to sleep, assumed by fully 51 percent of women. The most unusual is on the stomach with only 6.5 percent of respondents saying they sleep this way. Once we adopt a preferred sleeping position, we rarely change it.

3 ...iTs 5 O'cLoCk... | ...SoMeWhErE...

silentcriez

:: 2004 7 August :: 11.17pm
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: heaven is a place on earth - the bangles

sometimes i dont understand me..
well.. ive been thinking alot about me.. about my friends.. about my life.. and about this life that everybody is living.. i dont know what to do.. i mean im not gonna lie in here and say everythings fine i mean this is where i spill my emotions where i tell it like it is.. ok so heres the deal.. meg and dave like eachother and its like dude.. why does everyone get what i want.. do i not deserve it? like am i not good enough? it kills me.. i wanna like scream out how i really feel but it wouldnt get me anywhere.. and trying to stop it is even more pointless.. because i am the one preaching about ppl not wanting me to be happy id be the hipocrite.. but im not one so im trying to be more mature.. meg tried talking to me tonight.. but i know whats best for me and what i need.. and thats space.. i need time away from her to think things over... to realize what im missing by being so stubborn.. they say you never truly understand a persons worth until youve lost them..

well on a happier note.. i got to see andre and kevin today for the first time in only god knows how long.. it was fun.. we went home like 6 times lol and baked a huggeeeeeee cake ;-) lol i love you kelsey and lizzy you girlies are the best

welllll im gonna write a poem because i have alot inside me i need to get out..

---

every night i wish on
the first star i see that night
a burning ball of mystery
shining big and bright
my hopes and dreams
flow into the sky
wishing for things
and reasons why
but life doesnt always
give me what i want
it plays with me
and likes to taunt
i get a taste of happiness
and its ripped away
just wish i could get over this
and be happy for a day
but as far as my stupid hearts concerned
ill never have a chance
ill never have a chance to be
in a true romance..
ill have to sit and watch them all
be happy with themselves
holding hands in tranquility
wish theyd go to hell
i cant sit back and wish them teh best
i hope im not out of line
but when i say im through with this
all i need is time
time to think
and time to heal
time to see whats fake
whats real..
a chance to understand my head
make sure that my heart
is not mislead
let me prove to myself
that this is what is best
to leave her now
in this time of great distress
walk away
and think things through
when time has passed
see if its true
ill look around
and see whats real
see whats needed
to be revealed
understand why things
had to be this hard today
and when this life
will finally go my way...

-----------

my new favorite song

This may be the last thing that i write for long
Can you hear me smiling when i sing this song, for you and only you

As I leave will you be someone to say good-bye
As I leave will you be someone to wipe your eye
My foot is out the door, and you can't stop me now

You wanted the best, it wasn't me, will you give it back
Now i'll take the lead, when there's no more room to make it grow
I'll see you again, you'll pretend you're naive, is this what you want
Is this what you need, how you end up let me know.

As I go, remember all the simple things you know,
My mind is just a crutch and I still hope, that you will miss me when
I'm gone
This is the last song

The hearts start breaking as the year is gone
The dream's beginning and the time rolls on
It seems so surreal, now I sing it.
Somehow I knew that it would be this way,
Somehow I knew that it would slowly fade.
Now i'm gone, just try and stop me now.

You wanted the best, it wasn't me, will you give it back
Now i'll take the lead, when there's no more room to make it grow
I'll see you again, you'll pretend you're naive, is this what you want
Is this what you need, how you end up let me know.

As I go, remember all the simple things you know,
My mind is just a crutch and I still hope, that you will miss me when
I'm gone
This is the last song

And will you need me now, you'll find a way somehow
You want it too, I want it too.

As I go, remember all the simple things you know,
My mind is just a crutch and I still hope, that you will miss me when
I'm gone
This is the last song

3 ...iTs 5 O'cLoCk... | ...SoMeWhErE...

krazykelc1

:: 2004 6 August :: 11.47pm

New sn...
kels7216 --add it

So lay down...
the threat is real

seeing red again..
seeing red again..

chevelle

4 ...iTs 5 O'cLoCk... | ...SoMeWhErE...

silentcriez

:: 2004 6 August :: 11.19am

http://midge.bloggage.com/readme/

...SoMeWhErE...

SILENTCRIEZ

:: 2004 5 August :: 10.41pm
:: Mood: angry
:: Music: a sunday - jimmy eat world

^ download that song now bitches

What would we be doing if we were alone in my room right now?

Post this in your journal to see what people want to do with you

6 ...iTs 5 O'cLoCk... | ...SoMeWhErE...

silentcriez

:: 2004 5 August :: 4.16pm
:: Mood: artistic
:: Music: my friends over you - new found glory

The course is set
im out of here
youve made me leave
made me see clear

my heart lay bound
in this heart shaped box
i wont forget
what i've been taught

chorus:
Dangers lie ahead for me
blinded by the light i see
no longer controlled betrayed and hurt by you
as this hazy rain flows into blues

The door's still open
the cigarette smoke cascades into the air
burning on with thoughts of you
still lingering there

the smell is sweet and powerful
intoxicating all of me
room is full of smoke now
i can bearly see

chorus:

I reached for you
but you werent there
i grabbed onto only air
no one to see the dress i wear
to smell the flowers in my hair
no longer will i be afraid
im not alone anymore

chorus

-----

I'm drunk off your kiss
For another night in a row
This is becoming too routine for me
But I didn't mean to lead you on
And it's alright to pretend that we still talk
It's just for show isn't it
It's my fault that it fell apart

Just maybe you need this
And I didn't mean to lead you on

You were everything I wanted
But I just can't finish what I started
There's no room left here on my back
It was damaged long ago
Though you swear that you are true
I'd still pick my friends over you

Please tell me everything
That you think that I should know
About all the plans you made
When I was no where to be found
And it's all right to forget that we still talk
It's just for fun isn't it
It's my fault that it fell apart

yay canobie lake park tomorrow :-)

...SoMeWhErE...

xonixieox

:: 2004 5 August :: 11.21am

ok well i went to genes wake.. and it was so hard.. i couldnt sleep since it happened..

the second i went into the wake i decided that i couldnt go up to the casket.. it was too hard.. then when i saw amanda being so strong and not crying i just broke down.. i dont know why i just did! so i cryed for the 2 and a half hours i was there basically... when i saw big gene and chris crying it broke my heart.

3 things made me really break down...

#1 was when genes best friend Ryan nelt down and prayed and then kissed Genes forehead! that made me lose it the most...

#2 was when Big Gene stood over little Gene and was rubbing his head and kissing him and crying! that was so heartbreaking to watch.. but i know gene is in a better place..

#3 was when Ryan and Adam.. Genes two best friends in the world nelt down next to Gene and prayed for like a half hour..

those 3 things were the worst for me to watch...

Amanda carried around Gens Duck from when he was little and that was really sad... but when Big Gene gave me a hug and wouldnt let go... i started bawling..

I even gave Lisa a hug (Gene and amanda's stepmom) and she hugged me and was like "im so happy your here.. Gene was so lucky to have Friends like you" i fucking started Bawling there too! the whole 2 1/2 hours were just non stop crying for me becca and lizzy! it was so bad!

i finnaly had enough courage to go up to the casket ot show my repects but i couldnt do it alone so Nikki Z came up with me.. i was so glad she was there because i coulnd do it on my own.. im so thankful for her.. and her brother died so she knows how it feels and she will help amanda throught this..

well im starting to cry writing this so im gunna go .. but.. i just want to say that that was the hardest thing i have ever had to go through in my life!

I really wanted to go to the Funeral but i couldnt get a ride.. everyone sed it was hard so i guess im kinda glad i dint go... maybe

gene is always in my heart

3 ...iTs 5 O'cLoCk... | ...SoMeWhErE...

krazykelc1

:: 2004 4 August :: 4.34pm
:: Mood: anxious
:: Music: Yellowcard-Only One

I've made up my mind...
Now I just need to talk to him..
and I don't know what I'm going to say..

but that's good cuz I'm just gonna speak on impulse.. no planning ahead no thinknign no nothing.. from now on I need to deal with things as they come.. and no making assumptions or anything anymore.. NO ANALYZING no nothing.. I really need to stop.
and thank you to those of you who noticed before I did

krazykelc 1: you kno what i noticed
krazykelc 1: people dont hurt other people
krazykelc 1: people hurt themselves
krazykelc 1: if u dont expect too much from someone you cant get hurt.. its people who expect too much who get let down n thats how they get hurt
krazykelc 1: and u really cant be hurt emotionally unless u let urself.. cuz its not psychical pain its mental and u control your own mind..

its true, people only hurt themselves by expecting too much from others... if only people thought that way... then they would never get hurt

...SoMeWhErE...

xoxchubbyxox

:: 2004 4 August :: 1.40pm
:: Music: unbreak my heart

....
i dont know nemore, i feel like im just repeating what ive already said in the past, but no matter how much i say it or try to express myself, i feel as if i cant say it enough. the cllser i get to moving, the worse i feel. i have become empty, lonely, and i already feel so distant. i dont know what im going to do. this summer, was supposed to be fun for me, my last time here in natick... but it just wasnt, and i say this now becuase its nearly over, for me, at least. all of u will see eachother again at school, just liek i was supposed to, but ill be off in a different town and a completely different setting, alone, with no one. i wish i could be more positive about this but it feels so impossible, everytime i try to think in an optimistic way, it ends up twisting around on me, making me wonder about what ifs? what if i never see any of you again, what if u guys dont miss me as much as i miss u, what if i hate my new life? what if u guys forget about me? i feel so depressed, and lonely all of the time. i mean im about to go, and i have barely seen thepeople i promised to see all the time before i left.i knew i was moving, but i never thought it would be like this... i didnt want to be this sad or distant, but i am. i have no idea what to do. :-(

no matter what, i still love everyone, and ill miss them everyday that im gone, even if thats forever.

5 ...iTs 5 O'cLoCk... | ...SoMeWhErE...

krazykelc1

:: 2004 4 August :: 12.54am
:: Mood: upset
:: Music: Taking Back Sunday-New American Classic

you'll never be what I need
:-[ I dont know

I love him but I'm scared to give in to something thats just gonna crash down in weeks and leave me alone & hurt..

some say it's easy to believe someone when they are telling you exactly what you wanna hear.. well that only works the first time around. when you hear the same thing everytime.. it gets hard to believe its true.. and in 5 days it will be one year....

one year of trying too hard and holding onto something that was never there...
he was never there when I needed him... he only came when he wanted and left when things got bad

but he always came back to me.. and that's what made me hold on for so long. and everytime he returned it seemed he was more and more convinced he loved me.. now its been a year and I don't know what to do.. some say if you love with him then its worth any time you are able to be with him even if it does hurt.. and some say dont bother even for that short period of happyness..

I'm one of the people who believes you should take every chance at happyness you get.. because you only live ones and it's the times you were happy that you will always remember...

..and whether I go with him or not I'm gonna be hurting either way.. but for some reason I still can't do it. I told myself I would wait this time until I actually believed him.. but I don't know what to believe anymore because words just don't get through to me.. and I dunno what will.

2 ...iTs 5 O'cLoCk... | ...SoMeWhErE...

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