<marquee behavior=alternate>.:*Chubby*:.</marquee>

:: 2004 28 August :: 6.25pm

You and I got somethin but it�s all
and then its nothin to me �yeah
And I got my defenses when it comes
to your intentions for me � yeah
And we wake up in the breakdown of the
things we never thought we could be
�yeah

I�m not the one who break you
I�m not the one you should fear
We got to move to move you darlin�
I thought I lost you somewhere
But you were never really ever there at all

Chorus:
Yeah � Once you get free talk to me
I can feel you fallin�
Wanted to be all you need
Somehow here is gone

I am no solution to the sound of this pollution in me..yeah
And I was not the answer so forget
you�d ever thought it was me�.yeah
I�m not the one who broke you
I�m not the one you should fear
We got to move you darlin�
I thought I lost you somewhere but
you were never really ever there at all

Once you get free talk to me
I can feel you fallin
Wanted to be all you need
Somehow here is gone

And I don�t need to fall out of all the
past that�s in between us
And I�m not holdin on, you know your
last word wasn�t enough to keep me
here

Once you get free talk to me
I can feel you fallin
Wanted to be all you need
Somehow here is gone

Once you get free talk to me
I can feel you fallin
I know it�s out there,
I know it�s out there
I can feel you fallin
I know it�s out there,
I know it�s out there
Somehow here is gone
I know it�s out there,
I know it�s out there
Somehow here is gone

:: 2004 28 August :: 5.59pm

I wouldn't know what to do with another chance
If you gave it to me
I couldn't take the embrace of a real romance
It's race right through me
I'm much better off the way things are
Much much better if, better by far, by far
I wouldn't know what to say to a gentle voice
It'd roll right past me
And if you chalk it up you'll see I don't really have a choice
So don't even ask me
I'm much better off, the way things are
Much much better off, better by far
So keep on calling me names, keep on, keep on
And I'll keep kicking the crap till it's gone
If you keep on killing, you could get me to settle
And as soon as I settle, I bet I'll be
Able to move on
How can I fight, when we're on the same side
How can I fight beside you
So keep on calling me names, keep on, keep on
Ans I'll keep on kicking the crap will it's gone
If you keep on killing, you could get me to settle
And as soon as I settle, I bet I'll be
Able to move on
So keep on callng me names, keep on, keep on
And I'll keep kicking the crap till it's gone
If you keep on killing, you could get me to settle
And as soon as I settle, I bet I'll be
Able to move on

:: 2004 26 August :: 11.15pm
:: Mood: empty
:: Music: this ring x tech n9ne

i dont know exactly whats wrong with me but i feel so extremely emotional.. like i feel so empty.. and abandoned and like i dont even know what i feel i like.. feel like time is passing too quickly and like things are changing and i hate change.. i feel like everything i care about is just gonna leave me.. and im really sad about kaitlin leaving.. im going to miss her so much.. and all her freidns too.. theyre all downstairs right now.. for theyre last party before they all leave for college... i have a bad feeling about this year.. i feel like im gonna do bad in school and lose all my friends idk.. but like kelsey and all them dont even hang out with robbie anymore and i feel like im not gonna be able to see them cuz my friends wont want to and vise versa..

i dont know maybe im just stupid maybe everything will be fine i mean i hope it is.. i just have a bad feeling and i constantly feel depressed now.. like so on edge..

and i miss lizzy.. i feel like i dont know her.. i feel like everything is changing and i dont want it to.. we were so close.. like ever since we first met.. and everything is just getting fducked up

i dont know i dont udnerstand myself..

i gotta go..

- manda

2 .from you. | .to me.

:: 2004 25 August :: 10.39pm

Tech n9ne-Imma tell

The killa clowns in your town raising all hell
Tecca nina with the stamina coming to damage ya buckin'
The bammer when I bust with a bang.
And it ain't no clause that say fraud ain't no tall tales
Women love it when I hit when I covet the booty they
Giving it to me but it ain't no thang

We reppin' KCMO fellas and the ladies know
That we comin' with the killas I'm with the gorillas
The villains will get you when you disrespect us
Even the babies know Tech nina got crazy flow
We be giving the women the willy we sick of the haterz
Wanna pay us go to get this record

This is important we be courtin' every place we go
Get you up in the room ain't trippin' off of the groom
I'll give it to you anyway you wanna have it
Baby is a horse and yes of course Imma have 2 break the ho
Leaving the kids at home I wanna bone alone we hopping
Up and down like jack rabbits

So many kids put this on their daddy's mind
Never will I ever put him out there like that feelin' that
I did Tecca nina take it right back. Tellin' him that the mommy's
Boyfriend's Tech N9ne. Do be lookin' at me like you really wanna fight
Cat all Tecca nina wanna know is where the mic at?

[Chorus]
This is the town where the clowns put it down baby
(Mama say stop or I'm gonna tell papa)
Close the doe, before ya child hear the sound baby
(Mama say stop or I'm gonna tell papa)

[Verse 2]
151 Malibu rum and pineapple juice
4 those who don't know that's caribou lou origin in Missou
We having fun got some buns on some yac abuse
Rogue dogs and I'm reppin' the smoke a lot regime outlaws
Deuce klick and the zou

Stagga, when you with the nutthowze we gon have ya
Taking everything up in the book from ex to that puff you
Lookin' to get took. Abracadabra, 151 and coke is viagra
Give it to me give it to me give it to me got her in love
From having the bed shook

Look, I'm hella fed up with all the silly rumors dog
Sayin' that we got dropped JCOR that never ever would
Happen I mean what do they know? We kept our
Head up now money's coming to us all.
We kickin' it with strange wollowing in fame giving
The game only when I say so.

So crack some bub wit me demons get some
Love wit me. Do what you gotta do to get what you
Gotta get I gotta get it all Tecca nina's on a roll
Get on some shrub wit me 2 cases of Bud wit me
What you gonna do to get the women on krunk Imma
Hit'em with the funk got'em all like oh

[Chorus]
That's Tech N9ne, sex all the time
Teasing your chakra and ain't nobody hotter
(Mama say stop or I'm gonna tell papa)

[Verse 3]
One and then comes the two to the three and
That was the anthem now this the anthem
Hella rockin' the planet again you can't stand it again
Huns, they been comin' thru to see me man
Then I depants'em and I bust Randon in the bed
Imma land'em dog gwamn it I ram it again

Raves. I love to get high and get paid
Why do I wanna stick'em with another hit up out
Of abyss baby ya don't wanna miss the titts
Babes they love to come by and get laid
Why am I the pinnacle when I rip it Imma
Kill'em in this to the haters I gotta send'em
A gift

Bump this in your ride or in the club
Giving everybody what they need I give it all
So they give it all back to me
Hataz don't you hide just show some love
Do you dig it Imma rep the B. and never ever let the
C. get the best of me

So many kids put this on their daddy's mind
Never will I put him out there like that feeling that I did
Tecca nina take it right back
Telling him their mommy's boyfriend is Tech N9ne
Oh no girl yo babies at the doe

:: 2004 25 August :: 9.02am
:: Mood: sad
:: Music: imma tell x tech n9ne

i cannot stand this anymore.. when one thing goes wrong everything starts falling down with it.. i leave to take kaitlin to college on the 28th.. im gonna miss her :-\ and im gonna be alone with my dad i wont be able to handle it.. im gonna kill him seriously.. until i get my lisence idk what the fuck im gonna do.. my sister told me that after she got her lisence she was fine.. it was the freedom she had to just get out away from the house and just drive to just run away from everything and i need that badly...

but i really hate myself and i hate my family.. and i hate people i dont know what the hell is wrong with me im so on edge emotionally so that one wrong word from someone or one sad thing and i take it so personally and i get so upset.. i was at the school this morning getting my schedule fixed, and my dad asked my fucking guidence counselor about emailing teachers when i didnt do my work.. is he fucking gay im not like 2 years old i wanted to slaughter him.. we were walking out of the building and i started crying and told him i wasnt gonna go to dinner with his parents... i want to like..kill him seriously.. he makes me so angry he doesnt even know me let alone know whats good for me.. he has no idea what ive been through.. what ive seen.. done.. lived though.. what i feel.. he doesnt know anything about me.. i just feel like nobdoy knows the real me.. like ive hidden it for so long i might not even know myself...

and last night it was megs birthday.. and ryan ripped her off.. that was really heartless.. and i felt so powerless because i couldnt help i could just watch one of my best friends break down.. i hate feeling helpless.. and there was nothing i could do.. though i wanted to and i didnt wanna leave her alone because i knew that she would break down.. i love you meg no matter what happens... im sorry that your birthday wasnt what you thought it would be.. but i had fun beign with you and i am always here for you..

ill write some more later...

- manda

1 .from you. | .to me.

:: 2004 25 August :: 2.29am
:: Mood: decent
:: Music: Tech N9ne-Imma Tell

this is the town where tha clowns throw it down baby...

today was my Hammy's birthday..I love her. It didn't turn out so good thanks to Ryan fogarty though :-) he has it comin to him.. it's only a matter of time

just incase you see this Ryan, I HOPE ROBBIE DECKS YOU & COZZY KICKS YOU IN THE FACE AGAIN :-)

I LOVE YOU MEG HAPPY 15TH BIRTHDAY!!

xonixieox

:: 2004 23 August :: 11.11am

this is all about christina cerutti! shes awesome! i finally got my pictures onto the computer!!

[Random christina]

[Hot Stuff]

[Sexxay pics!]

hhahahahah funny pics! :)

going to last day of work :( im so sad

then cheerin!
\
<3 NikkiE

:: 2004 23 August :: 12.07am

Marilyn Manson-Tainted love
Sometimes I feel I've got to
Run away I've got to
Get away
From the pain that you drive into the heart of me
The love we share
Seems to go nowhere
I've lost my lights
I toss and turn I can't sleep at night

Once I ran to you (I ran)
Now I'll run from you
This tainted love you've given
I give you all a boy could give you
Take my tears and that's not nearly all
Tainted love
Tainted love

Now I know I've got to
Run away I've got to
Get away
You don't really want any more from me
To make things right
You need someone to hold you tight
You think love is to pray
But I'm sorry I don't pray that way

Once I ran to you (I ran)
Now I'll run from you
This tainted love you've given
I give you all a boy could give you
Take my tears and that's not nearly all
Tainted love
Tainted love

Don't touch me please
I cannot stand the way you tease
I love you though you hurt me so
Now I'm going to pack my things and go
Touch me baby, tainted love
Touch me baby, tainted love
Touch me baby, tainted love

Once I ran to you (I ran)
Now I'll run from you
This tainted love you've given
I give you all a boy could give you
Take my tears and that's not nearly all
Tainted love
Tainted love
Tainted love

good song.. haha props to Derek and Kaplan

cocopuff

:: 2004 22 August :: 10.49pm
:: Mood: horny
:: Music: Oasis-"Dont Go Away"

hellooooo

yea well id have say things are FUCKED up.. and ther not getting ne beterr... but on the good side i dont think there getting neworse :-/...

other then that whole fucked up situation tonight was VEY nice lol...

yea well im not in the mood to write nemore soo..

1 .from you. | .to me.

:: 2004 22 August :: 10.48am
:: Music: pop that pussy x pastor troy

i think its funny how people who should be so close to you still manage to see right through you.. look right though you and completely act oblivious to how you feel.. i could be crying in my room and its like.. beyond my walls nobody knows whats wrong nobody knows what i feel or probably even cares its like im quarintined to my room.. like out of that room i have to put on a mask hide how i feel.. cant let them know im sad.. but i shouldnt hide it but i know he doesnt really care.. so i just shut up and cry to myself looking for somebody strong enough to hold me :-\

welll i just got out of the shower dont ask why im up this early.. i dont want to be.. robbie fucking called me at 10 and woke me up :( bahhhh

well im taking care of yoshi down the street hes so god damn adorable i wanna squeeze him lol.. oh yah yoshi's a dog if your wondering lol hes an akita and hes so cute!

well idk what else to write...

im gonna bake some cup cakes today :-)

2 .from you. | .to me.

:: 2004 22 August :: 2.25am
:: Mood: refreshed
:: Music: Master P-I always feel like somebody's watchin me

So here's my plan for this year.....
this Summer was everything I wanted.. it was perfect. I spent almost every day with the guy I labeled as the one I "love" ..but who the hell knows what the word means at 14 & 15 years old..

anyways.. yeah the perfect summer ended sadly a few nights ago.

but from a different point a view, it could be a good change. a chance to get my life back together and do things I wasn't able to do this year because of the priorities I had chosen... which are fun for a while but after a year of all of that... its like one big long vacation and no hard work. too much focusing on drugs and friends and...robbie.

well thanks to a few of my inspirations :-) Serge,Tori,Ryan, and an old friend..., I will be recovering hopefully... I came into high school different then when I left junior high... and I think it's time to change again... or atleast try, I need to see what else is out there.. besides what my heads been focusing on this past year.

and as far as robbie goes, obv me and him aren't supposed to be together right now...
and maybe not EVER. so whether or not that day ever comes he will remain in my heart and I can start a new life......

to my old friend who probably will not read this... I respect the reasons why you did what you did, I didn't understand then but I understand now. and I'm sorry.

:: 2004 21 August :: 2.58pm
:: Music: spread x andre 3000

ok so this is so gay.. god damn my dads girlfriend doesnt fucking leave my house.. shes always here and i cant even fucking come downstairs in eth morning without the fear shell fuckign see me in my pjs.. its so gay cuz ive asked my dad time and time again not to have her sleep over.. and what dopes he do.. has her sleep over...

well im going shopping in a few minutes so im happy..

ill write more later mwahhh

- manda