moana
|
::
2004 22 May :: 11.35am
:: Music: mercenary - clutch my shoulders
yeah, that...
i had the interview afterschool today for MUN officers and presidents. i don't think i got it. i thought i did pretty well, but i just don't see it happening. i don't stand a chance against ayah, dzaner, amirah, concubine. who'm i kidding? i sat there during the interview, answering real things, giving real answers, and now i think back and all i wanna do is go back in time and do it all over again only differently. i must have been the fool, sitting there with my shoes untied and my pants too baggy and my hair too short and my jewelery too black. walking in after the guy in the dress pants and the guy who wore a belt (A BELT! TO SCHOOL!) and the girl with the 4.2 GPA, and there i was, sitting, defending my 3.2 GPA, trying to make four teachers believe i deserved this. i just really wanted this, it's my last chance. i wanted to experience it once. and now it's too late, i had my chance and fucked up. does it matter anymore? not really. lesson learned too late. all that's left now is regret, remorse, rejection, hurt, all over something as silly as being MUN oficer. i don't know why i'm making a big deal out of it. i guess i just wanted it, to prove to myself i could have. i'll probably not get that kind of chance again. oh well.
3 comments |
Talk to Me
|
cowboy67
|
::
2004 21 May :: 8.56pm
Choose a band/artist and answer only in song TITLES by that band: nirvana
Are you male or female: been a son
Describe yourself: rape me
How do some people feel about you: very ape
How do you feel about yourself: i hate myself and want to die
Describe your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend: radio-friendly unit shifter
Describe where you want to be: on a plain
Describe what you want to be: lounge act
Describe how you live: all apologies
Describe how you love: endless, nameless
Share a few words of wisdom: frances farmer will have her revenge on seattle
this and lists are all you get since laurence's brain is on vacation.
Talk to Me
|
|
moana
|
::
2004 20 May :: 8.06am
:: Mood: buzzed
:: Music: banana OH! banana OH! banana OH!...
wednesday
school, blah blah blah, yeah yeah yeah RIGHT THEN! afterschool! we're hanging around, waiting for barney's driver to pick us up, we're laughing at naser as he tried to pummel an 11 year old with a lecross stick. is that how you spell it? doesn't matter, right, so saleem is there he takes barney n i STRAIGHT to the messilah beach hotel. YES! BEACH! FINALLY! barney takes a walk into the beach, i tan and read king lear for about the fifth or sixth time, and blag calls, he's here. the guy at the gate gives us a hard time, "guests aren't allowed to bring guests" i turn on the charm and viola! he is in! we spent a good hour or two (didn't keep track of the time) just on the beach, talking, laughing, tanning and smoking. barney regulated our intake, not letting us have more than two at a time. that and we made fun, blag couldn't light with matches, and when a friendly gentlemen near buy chucked him a lighter, he threw it back "like a little girl". *sigh* what you gonna do. so we went to the pool, they swam, we joked about my white europenis, then sat at the café. barney had a tuna salad. i had a large pepsi and two more fags. at around this time, of all people, two showed up at messilah, both of which i managed to successfully avoid. (coughZACHcough, asswipe). we went down to the sauna for a while (barney i'm so sorry!) and spent the rest of the day on the beach. the beach is deserted except for us, but then these two guys kep walking by, and finally, they sit, side by side, and watch. it was the most unusual occurence i've seen in a while. they just say there, staring at us. we made jokes, laughed about it, gave them something to watch, it was hilarious. i had my back turned to them but at one point barney goes "they're holding one another!" at a little past 8, saleem came to pick us up, and we wnet to barney's house. hung out with nada, had dinner, and went home. it was one hell of a good day. i'm really really glad i went to messilah. maybe i'll get to go again sometime soon.
1 comment |
Talk to Me
|
|
moana
|
::
2004 16 May :: 9.55am
:: Music: beethoven - moonlight sonata
a memory
i just got a memory of something that happened a long time ago. i was a kid, my parents hadn't gotten divorced yet, but they were in separate bedrooms. i don't know how old i was, but i remember my mother rolled over to look at me, (i was sleeping in her room, on her bed) and said "do you know what your father told me to say to you?" only for some reason i shut my eyes real tight and pretended to be asleep. and i never found out what my father wanted my mother to tell me.
Talk to Me
|
|
moana
|
::
2004 14 May :: 3.18pm
ARABIC BEEBOL!
You are an Arab if...
1. You say "bolice" for "police" and.
2. You inherited or will inherit land in your home country.
3. You brag about your kids even if they are bad.
4. Your spouse is also your first cousin.
5. Your dad eats mensef with his hands and forces his son to "join the men."
6. You're fat and blame it on the kids, or you're bald and blame it on the
stress.
8. Your aunt asks you when she can dance at your wedding.
9. You smoke as if it were your last day on earth...and you only
smoke MARLBOROS.
10. You wear more cologne than deodorant.
11. You pronounce "comfortable" cun-fort-a-bull.
12. You say the letter "h" like "etch."
13. You put olive oil in and on everything and brag about how healthy it is.
14. You gossip about your own family...with members of your own family.
15. You have more then 4 kids.
16. You eat humus at least 4 times a week.
17. You cook a meal that lasts 3 days.
18. You talk crap about the abeed, but love them when they buy from you.
19. At parties, you think it's cool to dance and smoke at the same time.
20. You pity anyone who is not an Arab and think all other cultures are morally
corrupt.
21. You have fruit trees in your backyard and when they are in season you live
on them.
22. You don't use the word "tease" in English cause you feel weird.
23. You watch the hell out of the Arabic channel and talk crap about the rest.
24. Your father swears at you with words that effect himself.
25. You have 500,000,000 cousins.
26. At weddings it takes the bride and groom 4 hours to kiss all the guests.
27. You "get down" from the car instead of "getting out" of it.
28. You act like you want to pay, but in reality you hate to pay.
29. You have a gold necklace of your name written in Arabic.
30. You own and/or play a tubleh
31. Your middle name is your father's first name.
32. If you are male, you're named after your grandfather or great-grandfather.
33. You play cards till the break of dawn.
34. You never run out of bizzer.
35. You can't have a meal without bread.
36. You get offended when Americans call Arabic bread "Pita bread,"
37. If you are an Arab woman, you dye your hair an obviously fake shade of
blonde that is nonexistent in nature and swear that it's natural.
38. You feel proud when someone famous or a celebrity has any Arabic blood in
them.
39. You teach your American friends Arabic words (mostly bad ones) and get
Happy when they use them in normal conversations.
40. Your Mom has a creative nick name for you like Susu, Natoosheh, or
Tuntooneh."
41. You have a difficult Arabic name so you come up with an Americanized
version of it like "Sam" or "Mike."
42. You have someone tell you your fortune through your coffee cup.
43. You love Um Kalthoom and if you don't, your dad makes you listen to her and
tries to translate the words into English so you can appreciate her as much as
he does.
44. Three or more relatives live in your neighborhood.
45. If you're a single Arab guy, you tell women you're a "successful
businessman" or that you "own a successful business back home" even if you're
an unemployed goat herder.
46. Your favorite food is warag dawali, but you are embarrassed to tell your
friends that you eat leaves for dinner.
47. You get really happy and call the whole familyto the room when there is a
special or documentary on Arabs or anything Arab-related on CNN or PBS.
49. You have a uni-brow...and if you don't, you pluck it.
50. You bump Arabic music at all times!
8 comments |
Talk to Me
|
|
moana
|
::
2004 12 May :: 12.31pm
:: Mood: *cough*
right. so i went to the doctor's this morning, missed most of first period, drama. after that was over, i don't really remember much of the rest of the day. my motor skils waver and i tend to be more giggly than is appropriate. i managed to get through the day, though, with only faint memory of being unable to tie my shoe. by physics, last period, i had managed to calm myself and sober up. doppler effect can do that to you. i left physics, feeling a lot better, but still somewhat unbalanced. leahy gave me grief for inapropriate behavior *shakes head* and i've been hearing stories about lunch that i simply do not remember. after school was... interesting. all i wanted to do was lie down and weep. but i didn't picked myself up, plastering myself over everything that had ap enis, and some things that didn't *coughCATHYcough*. andy noticed, but blag got a kick out of repeating "you're high" at every chance he got. it bothered me, but he didnt stop no matter how many times i denied it. how i wanted to beat him, but something about my shoes and i can't remember how to tie them... so yeah... we went to the roof, we started kissing, then he stopped. he said it wasn't such a good idea. he said he didn't want me to do anything i'd regret. he said he didn't want to take advantage. i felt sick and started shivering when he told me all that stuff. how was i supposed to feel? irresponsible? high? weak? maybe i was supposed to feel grateful? so thankful for my noble boyfriend who wouldn't take advantage. i didn't really feel that way. i was just kind of angry at him. so i said "forget it," pickedu p and walked away. he followed, we sat, we watched the plays, we laughed. we flirted, tickled one another, but he knew i was hurt. he caught me staring at him once and when he turned to look at me i didn't look away. he tried to joke, said "you look freaky" but i didn't say anything. i jsut turned to face the stage and kept my mouth shut. i was silent the way i knew he expected me to be. if i was happy i was high, if i was sobered i was still high. so i kept my mouth shut. i regret that now. whatever though, too late. i jsut wish people could put some faith in my ability to decide. it's not like i'm insane. AC pissed me off too. she took me aside at lunch, telling me "what the fuck are you doing? you're acting fucking insane!" i wanted to beat the shit out of her. i remember that. so i avoided her for a while, but i had class with her next. it's jsut been a hard day. i had to keep yelling at people i wasn't high. they must have thought i was kidding. it doesn't matter anyway. so i got a little uninhibited, so i have some major memory gaps of the past few days, i don't care. i jsut wish people would stop acting like i'm incapable of doing anything for myself. i'm not on drugs, i don't need you to take away dangrous tools from around me. maybe i'll expose myself a bit, but i won't do anything i'd regret. it's hard to get people to see that sometimes.
2 comments |
Talk to Me
|
|
cowboy67
|
::
2004 11 May :: 8.39pm
you're so pretty the way you are.
2 comments |
Talk to Me
|
|
moana
|
::
2004 10 May :: 11.07am
:: Mood: *deep breath*
:: Music: the strokes - someday
sometimes, sometimes...
life is good. the weather was shit today. is it weather or whether? i've NEVER been able to keep them straight. like is it camel or dromedary with two humps? whatever, i forget. the point is, life is good. and the climate sucks. i wanted to have a pool gathering this wednesday at my house, but now i have PMS and no motivation. so i'll go to barney's drama thing afterschool. i remember last year when i had to perform those horrible one act plays for drama/speech 1. i had the lead, opposite zeina. and cathy was co-lead (?) opposite noor. it was fun, a lot of fun. it was a shit play, but it was fun. hehe, right before the curtains came up, literally minutes before we got onstage, zeina's behind the curtains crying. she lost it, and i waned to beat the sense back into her. i didn't though. and we did relatively fine. people ket coming up to me for days afterwards going "good show", people i didn't even know. it wasn't anything, just a class grade. one act, one scene, ten minutes. just a skit really. nothing like steel magnolias. how did i go off into this subject? right barney's show... i discovered daniel's gonna play justin timberlake in their show. i find that hilarious. nasser was teasinghim, singing "cry me a but hole" all lunch. i ate crusts. they begged around for enough moeny to buy an entire pizza. they got a whoe KD off me, and i ate the crusts, because i don't eat cheese. they found it wierd. random. so, i think i'll go to barney's show after school today. no i'm already done with school, not today. wednesday. yeah. i think i will.
1 comment |
Talk to Me
|
|
moana
|
::
2004 8 May :: 2.01pm
:: Music: beegees - the joke was on me
ouiser
i am the comic relief of life. i was comic relief in every performance, i am the comic relief to most people that know me in real life. generally speaking, i am there to make people laugh, to let them relax a bit, loosen up, and laugh. that's all i'm good for. not really that great for advice, apparently i'm too blunt for consolation. but i will laugh with people, or give them something to laugh about. it's what i exist for. seriously, it's all i exist for. it's all i'm good for. it's kind of sad, but kind of funny. since i was the little kid in second grade, i've been the one cracking jokes, and when no one laughed at the jokes, i was the one jumping off desks to make the kids laugh. that's who i am. it's who i've always been. it's starting to look like it's who i'll always be, ever, for the rest of my life. i can make my peace with that. i've already made my peace with that. that's why i'm always in character. isn't that funny? screw you i find it funny.
i guess that's probably why i'm already so sick of people coming up to me going "you're ouiser!" it's not like they're complimenting me on a character i played well, it's like they're condemning me to be this woman. and what's funny is, we decided during our little character study, ouiser is really sad. like she's suffered and stuff. that all that exterior is just defensive. and you'd think after all that character study, they'd realize what they're condemning me to be when they tell me "you're ousier." guess not. who knows? maybe they do know what they're doing to me? i don't know. there seems to be a lot i don't know lately. it's sad. it's funny. isn't it funny?
it's close.
i'm almost out of things to say. i pride myself in being able to say anything and everything; just like ouiser in a sense. not afraid to speak my mind. but i always end up being the joke, the punchline. it's funny. it makes others laugh. sometimes, it makes me laugh, too. sometimes it makes me want to scream. but i don't scream. i just laugh. it's what i do. it's become who i am. that's funny.
i started a joke which got the whole world crying. only i couldn't see that the joke was on me.
i look at the sky running my hand over my eyes and i fell out of bed hurting my head on things that she said.
i started to cry, which got the whole world laughing. only i couldn't see that the joke was on me.
it's a sad song, but it's kind of funny. i find a lot of things funny. i got put back on a small amount of pills again, those little harmless painkillers. just for a little while, and then i won't have to take them ever again. but i think i took too much, because i hurt, and now i'm fine. it's kind of funny. isn't it funny? i think it's funny.
1 comment |
Talk to Me
|
|
moana
|
::
2004 7 May :: 2.30pm
:: Mood: craving
:: Music: weezer - hashpipe
my kingdom for a fag
yes i am craving (again). *sniff* *spit* and then...
ok, so after my father's hosue today i've decided. i hate going to his side of the family. they're tight asses, capitalist consumers, insane islamic fanatics. it makes me sick. if they could go out and martyr themselves for the sake of free market, they would. i need to gag.
3 comments |
Talk to Me
|
|
moana
|
::
2004 6 May :: 4.15pm
:: Music: distorted penguins - cloud 9
hoo-hah
right, so the show's done and over with. it's sad, i was kinda getting happy with it. now it's gone and it's not so fun anymore. fun to talk about, but we're not doing it anymore. i'll miss being ouiser (oyyser). it went great. people laughed a lot more, which just goes to show you, having a clump of teachers for an audience will earn you more laughter at the subtle adult jokes than a mass of high schoolers. i certainly felt much more appreciated. it was a good feeling. *giggles* hoo-hah shadow... anyways... yeah. *giggles osme more*. so after it's all done and we step out for the curtain call, we bow, we give flowers, blah, then all of a sudden, i stop the curtains, just before BJ closes them and go "wait! the crying mother, m'linn, turned 16 today" and people started whooping, cheering and clapping! andy turns to look at me, goes "i hate you" with this huge smile on ehr face, i don't mind. well, afterwards, i went to andy's house to spend the night. i attacked her in my sleep, stole her covers, she rolled over on me numerous times. it was ok, we laughed over it in the morning (er, noon). it was a good weekend. i enjoyed it. thank you andy, for moral support, being a good sport, and just big boobful hugs. you rock. *dances the andy dance in celebration of you*.
1 comment |
Talk to Me
|
|
cowboy67
|
::
2004 5 May :: 4.33pm
can i vent a pet peeve?
it's SUR-PRISE. NOT "SU-PRISE." i know you pronounce it like "Sa-prize" but !@#$%^&* learn how to freaking spell.
and it's A (SPACE) LOT.
and YOU'RE = YOU ARE.
and YOUR = possessive. see, what that means is that "YOUR" denotes that something belongs to the "YOU." example: i like YOUR ass. whose ass? you, gisele, i like YOUR ass. NOT: i like YOU'RE ass. 'i like YOU ARE ass'? that kind of talk is only allowed if you're foreign! and don't even think about writing "YOUR special so i think i want to throw you a SUPRISE party tomorrow and invite ALOT of people because ITS fun!"
ick ick ick! you shouldn't be allowed into the next grade until you learn those. i don't care if we have 15-year-olds in 2nd grade, let's learn our own damn language! stop being lazy and get an education you sloths.
5 comments |
Talk to Me
|
|
moana
|
::
2004 5 May :: 4.38am
:: Mood: still rushed and somewhat flushed
:: Music: muse - butterflies and hurricanes
we rocked! woohu!
ok so yesterday, as it turned out, blag ended up staying with me at school the whole day. he suggested we go back to his place, but i don't know why i decided against it. (seriously i don't know why.) so we stayed in school, folding programs, walking around, then we got a hold of conway's keys and went to her room for a while. it was really really nice. i'm going to make a restriced entry about it later (for my personal enjoyment *winkwink*). so anyhow, we had a great time, and we talked a lot about everything and nothing in particular. at one point, when all the girls came back to school and started getting in costume and makeup, someone asked him "so are you and fajer dating?" and he goes "i don't know, hey ToTo, are you and i dating?" so i thought about it for a while, then shrugged and responded "you tell me." funny. they laughed. i laughed too. well there's more! the show starts up and we get on stage. it's not perfect but it goes well. people laughed when i got on stage, they laughed at most of my funny lines in fact. well come act1 scene 2 and yes, here comes the screw up. cathy forgot her line. so reem fed her the wrong line. all of a sudden, i'm staring from backstage, jaw open in shock as cathy skips 6 pages of script and starts saying MY LINES because i'm not even on stage yet! well i grab concubine, who is practically crying "it's not use it's ruined! it's over there's no point getting on stage now!" and try to talk some sense to her. i don't get through, so i grab her by the wrist and drag her on stage, literally DRAG her on stage. we cover up beautifully. i was impressed. as soon as the curtain closes we run at each ther, hugging, jumping up and down, not believing we fucked so bad and yet pulled it all together. it was beautiful. when the play was over, and concubine and i stepped out for our curtain call, the clapping turned into whooping. i felt ready to burst. it was one of hte most precious moments of my life thus ar (yes that's al ine from the play). so tonight, i hope to repeat the process, only BETTER and without skipping six pages of script. until then, i go.
Talk to Me
|
|
moana
|
::
2004 5 May :: 4.35am
:: Mood: woohu!
:: Music: happy birthday
MERRY BITTER SIXTEEN, ANDY-CUNT!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOOO YOUUUUU. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOOOOO YOUUUUUU. HAPPY BIRTHDAAAAAAY DEEEAAAAAR ANDYYYYYYYYYY. HAPPYYYYYY BIIIIIRTHDAAAAAY TOOOOOOOOO YOUUUUUUUUUUU! happy "bitter" sixteen andy! i (heart) you!
1 comment |
Talk to Me
|
|
moana
|
::
2004 4 May :: 1.08am
:: Mood: nervous
:: Music: beatles - michelle
sont des mots qui vont tres bien ensemble, tres bien ensemble
i'm nervous. i'm really really nervous. the show's tonight, and i'm gonna be here in school all day. i didn't see andy this morning, so i couldn't get a boobful hug. blag was in a bad mood and kept cussing everyone out, almost got into a fight with nasser over the friggin bass. just unbelievable morning. i hope tonight gets better, because if it doesn't, i... have no idea what i'll do.
3 comments |
Talk to Me
|
|
moana
|
::
2004 2 May :: 12.46pm
:: Mood: spiritual
:: Music: a - starbucks
overload
i feel like i've reached a limit. fuck school, fuck housework, fuck all of it. all i wanan do right now is just drop everything, and go... i don't know where, i don't know how far or how long, i'd just go. i'd leave everything behind, take just the clothes on my back. i'd fly somewhere, to a palce where no one really knew me. start over, fresh, clean. forget school, my home, my family, even my friends. i just need to let it all go.
Talk to Me
|
|
moana
|
::
2004 2 May :: 6.04am
:: Mood: ditzy
:: Music: radiohead - idioteque
i'm alive
life can be good to you, but you can't wait for it to be good to you. you can't just stand there waving "i'm open! i'm open!" you have to get in there. life won't pass you happiness like a ball in a game. you have to go tackle it. sure you don't have any 0padding or protection, but think of it as rugby. get hurt, get in there, it's all good.
Talk to Me
|
|
moana
|
::
2004 25 April :: 11.30am
:: Mood: *sniff* girlie. *spits*
:: Music: drain sth - the bubble song
so let me be your sin, don't know my face, let me sink in...
i adore drain sth. i can't believe they broke up. what a waste of feminism, talent and beauty. *sings along at the top of her lungs* ALL OF MY LIFE, DRAINED OF EMOTION, I NEVER CRIED! (i never cired!) WHAT AM I NOW? A LACK OF DEVOTION? I NEVER TRIED... TO STAY INSANE... beautiful... so yeah.
i just showered, and put my hair in a french braid. it was dripping wet (literally) when i tied it so right now it's behaving itself. i'm so pleased, it's long enough to braid! not really, since there's little pieces of layers sticking out the braid, but still! there's none on my face (it's been washed back) and none on my neck (except the bottom part of the braid). woohu! i feel clean and girlish! i havne't had long hair in a while. it feels wierd. it's gonna be real hard growing it out longer, considering i haven't had hair much lower than my shoulders in about four years, but i'll live. it's entirely likely that i will hack it all off by summer though, despite my resolution otherwise. *shrugs* ah well. my hair. kaifee *sticks index finger to side of head*. i go now, because fay and reem are coming (coming) up the stairs, and we work. *waves*
Talk to Me
|
|
moana
|
::
2004 24 April :: 12.27pm
:: Mood: not quite sober and not quite happy
:: Music: silver fins - butterfly wings
lyrica
butterfly wings flapping in your breast
standing on the moon, waiting for a shameful saying
what a day it's just a way to say you're sorry
the sand in my grasp, scarrs the water that you bathe in
***
falling down, it's the snow from a dead tree
lifted by spring and the streams that melt into me
to learn your wish is a spell that will wash your craving
leave it cold, shivering clean and contemplating
***
growing up to start to like your face and your neck
watching close the ways of breaking and mending it
turn your back on your life, it sounds amazing
you thought it was dust, but it scars you and it's raining
***
silence in adultery, through the winds it's shaded
lifting you up to a place that you once hated
a hand in the clock and another held to your breast
butterflies still flapping tiny wings to your breast
***
Talk to Me
|
|
moana
|
::
2004 24 April :: 12.18pm
:: Mood: curious
:: Music: a perfect circle - rose
i'm so miserably obsessed with this song
i'm sitting here wondering what life would be like without me. i don't mean what MY life would be like, duh, but what would everyone else be like? what kinda family would there be in my place? would my parents have even gotten a divorce? what would my brother be like? my mother and father, what would they be like? what kind of place would they live in?
what about my friends, what would they be like? what kinds of inside jokes would they be missing without me? would there even be any? would they be happier, or less happy? would they have more fun or less fun? what would they talk about? where would they go hang out? would barney have met andy and concubine? what about AC? would she have met them all or would they have just been casual aquiantances? what would faisal be like? what would zach be like? what would fara7 be like? would they be the same, or have i changed any of them?
what would my teachers be like? my classes? the people that know my surface? what kinds of smiles would there be in school? what kinds of jokes? who would people tell their burdens to if i wasn't there to listen? where would they turn to if i wasn't there to say "it's ok, i've been through worse"?
things to think about, things i'll never know the answer to i suppose.
2 comments |
Talk to Me
|
|
moana
|
::
2004 23 April :: 2.53pm
:: Music: silver fins - waiting so long
damn bakasan!
manga isn't out yet. *waits patiently*
not sure where to begin. wednesday was blissfully sleep-filled. yesterday was fun to the bone. i woke up at 7 (which wasn't really fun) and carried my caffeine and sleep deprived ass to school. faisal was there too, for SAT workshop, and we spent the morning together, making fun of the chemistry kids who were in class on thursday morning. what a way to spend a weekend. well when my class finally arrived, we started filming and working and i'm pretty impressed with how much we got done. it's looking good. thats not interesting, but after my mom picked me up we went to marina mall and i asked the lovely people at virgin about getting a summer job. they gave me a number to call. i'll do that sometime this next week. i also bought a posable chun-li model. i'm obsessed with it. my brother took me to this part of virgin where they sell collecter's item action figures from ancient animes, games and such. there's grandizer, street fighter, twisted land of oz, spawn, terminator, it's insane. there's even volume 1 statues. AND AND AND! LIVING DEAD DOLLS! i love it there. i (heart) it. so after i ran some errands with my mom, she dropped me off at barney's, where we hung out until 5:45 (i know this for a reason, dont laugh) and went to marina AGAIN. this time, with freshmen! well all these good little girls are so facinated by me, keep asking me about boyfriends and kissing and that kinda thing. it was funny and flattering. i taught them to play penis! woohu! well at around 7 or 8 we went back to Tara's house and about half an hour after we get there, blag calls. let me put it this way. we didn't get off the fone until saleem got downstairs, at around 10. it was nice. today i went to my dad's, as always. we barbequed for lunch, then hooked up the game cube to the 500inch projector screen and the 7.1 stereo surround system. naruto is beautiful upsized. and there you have it. i spent most of tonight doing math homework, and her i am. not so productive weekend. but fun! woohu!
1 comment |
Talk to Me
|
|
cowboy67
|
::
2004 22 April :: 1.59pm
as documented throughout the history of the world, hate will solve everything
i don't understand war. sure, teach me the politics, the historical background, the fighting tactics, etc. and i can understand how and why it happens. anyone can understand stats and data written in a book. but i don't understand this sick preoccupation with power. this incessant need of control over everything and everyone. this insatiable hunger for corporal things that last only as long as your dollar has value. i don't understand how a person can be so intolerant of another as to murder them. i suppose this is because i use common sense in my life. for example, if i'm walking through a park and come upon some flowers, i will probably think, "oh look, there's a flower. it's natural. it's beautiful. it grew from something i had no part in. it is completely indepedent of me. it is its very own being; life is flowing through each tiny petal. so delicate, yet so intricate - just like me. that's amazing." walk away. not, "oh look, there's a flower. i think i will crush it with my super-awesome human strength just because i feel like it. just because i can."
i guess if i was fed lies, hate, and guns my whole life, i wouldn't understand a person like me.
2 comments |
Talk to Me
|
|
moana
|
::
2004 21 April :: 10.57am
:: Mood: awe
:: Music: akeboshi - wind
unreal
this is a post inspired by cowboy67 (that's you!) but think about it. every person you know via woohu or LJ or whatever else you blog on, every person you meet on dance.net or deftonesworld.com or wherever else you live (both me, yes) who happens to live far off on another continent on the other side of the world, they KNOW you. like they KNOW YOU know you. these are people that get glimpese of deep personal moments in your life and majorly private insights on what you think is best for the world. they know your likes, your dislikes, your political views, your favorite songs, your religious values. and yet, if you ever bumped into them on the street, you wouldn't know them. you probably will never meet, yet these are people that you either talk about with your fellow bloggers (andy that's you) or that talk about YOU. and you've never met and you'll never meet, it's just like, people in a faraway land are thinking of you. it's so unreal. *ponders this for a while* yeah so that's the end. just think about it, it's so trippy. but don't think for too long cuz then you'll get wierded out or something.
Talk to Me
|
|
moana
|
::
2004 19 April :: 12.42pm
Lisping angels are cast out quickly and that's why I'm so quiet all of the time.
There's something wrong with the world when everyone drowns in mindless sanity.
Violence does not happen outside of my control. The only violence that occurs without my control is inside, inside my skin. In my head, there are violent words crawling.
It's dark where I go in my head, and there's nothing but a cold marble floor and people having sex on it. And all I can think about, walking strip naked among them, is "Aren't they cold?"
Madison Garths-
Talk to Me
|
|