Today....did a lot of sitting around. Watched Emma on HBO I love that movie it was the one with Gwyneth Paltrow (sp?) I need to reread some of my Jane Austen books....those are truly the only places love works out as it should.

My mom came home and we went to southen to register for summer dance classes. I need to get back in the studio again my technique is rusty and I'm getting way too fat.

After that I went to the bookstore to get another book in my series since I finished the one I got a couple days ago. I love having time to read again it's really the ultimate escape...well the ultimate legal escape that is...

Yeah so then we ate at Panera Bread and I have some communication problems probably due to the extensive amount of time I spend conversing online. I can't call people or talk in person it's becoming a problem. With my close friends it's one thing I can talk to them for hours regardless but everyone else...I don't know. It's a problem I notice in all of us people don't even know how to date anymore we are all relationship dysfunctional because we're not used to relating to people in person....idk my mom was reading some article about it and it kinda hit home. But uhh anyway yeah I didn't feel like talking to the manager to get an application so so much for getting a job there. lol I guess that was the point of that little rant.

I came home and took lucky for a walk. Usually my dad does it but he's away for a night or two...idk where I don't pay attention to such things. But yeah...it was a stroll down memory lane if I ever experienced one.

It was just getting dark and it was really nce outside so I walked all around my neighborhood and the one next to me and around the back of my elementary school. I looked out over the fields and the court and the classrooms and I could picture everything back when life was simple. All of my friends I could remember how to get to all of the teachers rooms and the tree at the back of the field my best friend and I used to sit under at recess. I looked at the playground and remembered playing boys chase girls and having swinging contests my mom picking me up from afterschool covered in sand with my hair a mess. I didn't care then it was all just having fun and having friends. Boys were more interested in me than I was in them....when did that change.

I walked back towards my house and saw a bunch of girls riding their bikes and gossiping about some people they knew. It reminded me of spending every day of spring break and most of summer at amandas house roaming around the neighborhood visiting everyone. All of the stupid games we made up to entertain ourselves going to the pool and pretending we were mermaids...stupid stuff like that.

I always look back and think how sad it is that I never had a childhood...not like the ones on TV anyway a cheap one. But tonight I realized that though it may not have been the suburban fairy tale of the sitcom world...it was simple and it was happy and it was mine...and I miss it all the same.

~just some food for thought~

<3