lifesuxsodanz
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2004 17 May :: 12.40pm
this is very long I would suggest not reading
ok...yesterday I don't even know where to begin. I was looking so forward to banquet but fucking mrs. dicillo had to spoil it....o well I'll start at teh beginning.
I had an awesome morning. All of the people that did a captain audition got taken on a scavenger hunt and at the end we findout what position we got. The people doing mine were Hillary, Richelle, Michelle and Fran all of my favorite seniors so it was fun. lol They decided to do teh kidnapping approach so my parents were all in on it and they showed up in my room @ 8:00am with a scary mask and a video camera in my face. They dresseds me up in sum freaky clothes and blindfolded me and dragged me in2 the car. Fran does the most awesome steve erwin voice ever so we she did this whole intro with the video camera about how the rare "jessica brandies" was looking for her mate. My whole scavenger hunt was based on the dane cook commedy CD which we all have a copy of and quote constantly.
Somet ings I had to do were...go to walmart (my LEAST favorite place in the world) dressed in my outfit and no...nobody looked twice at me because that is just the kinda people that shop at walmart. And I found ym task and it said:
"Grab a bunch of banannas and a camera and head over to the pharmacists desk and inquire about the largest sized male contraceptive available. Demonstrate approxamate length and girth of his "bananna"."
...yeah so after showing them my box of trojan magnum condoms as evidence we moved on...the next task was at a mobile station and it said:
"Take this 'legal' tender (legal tender meaning the pink monopoly $50 bill taped to the clue) and buy us some gum. Make sure to bring back the change."
lol yes i did this too and just as the guy looked at me horrified fran ran over and yelled "what are you doing?! thats not even real money!" then she pretended I was retarded and she had been looking for me all day and hugged me and dragged me back to the car. lol when she went back to buy something with real money the guy was all like.."your friend...shes not ok? she is a problem?"
Then I had to go to burger king and order from the drive through in this weird way that you wouldnt get if you havnt heard the dane cook cd...it was funny though
thenn I had to go to Barnes and Noble...
"ask the sales person to find you the maroon 5 cd. Sing harder to breathe to the sales person, sing it like and american idol superstar."
the guy was definately cute on top of it...he was in on the joke though so he ended up making me sing it like 5 times before he gave me my clue. lol a good conversation starter if I ever get the nerve to go back and hit on him.
Then I had to jump in a pool to get my last clue which just said that I would find out at banquet and to go home. Well i wasnt stupid cuz I had seen michelle leave somethign behind in my house when we left. SO we pull up to my house and there is a big banner hangint from teh garage that said 1st lieutenent. I didn't know how to react to this. they stopped the car and said ok now for the explanation. There is NO co-captain this year. They fought ms dicillo on the decision for a long time but in the end she got what she wanted. Me brittney and allison are all 1st lieutenants and lauren is captain. I was pretty upset because I know the real reason she did this isnt that we are all juniors and its only fair...she just has a personal problem with me and she always has.
Laurens scavenger hunt was so much worse than mine she had to wear HORRIBLE costume with boots and a cape and climb the rockwall at the mall in the middle of the day in front of hot guys and scream hi im captain planet. then she had to play guitar outside of walgreens singing the "lauren millcarek" song until someone gave her money. Then she had to go into a crowded dennys asking every1 if they had seen the one horned flying purple people eater until someone gave her a clue. lol funny stuff.
Banquet I had to put on my cheesy smile and pretend to be happy. Jeanna was there I miss her so much. We all ate and listened to speeches which didnt make me cry because I'm heartless. I don't think ive accepted yet that my friends are all going away to college. It will probably hit me at practice on wednesday with the new squad. Then the officer announcements came up and I couldnt control it. Dicillo announced the weird lineup of officers and went on and on and on about how equal me britt adn allison were that there was no deciding. Bull fucking shit. Yes we are the fucking delta of equality over there even though I not only outranked both of them, scored higer on my audition than EVERYONE, got number one dancer on the whole fucking squad, and was nominated either captain or co-captain by every goddamn person including brittney and allison. So yeah yay for equality. I'm going to kill her.
Whatever I'm goign to have to talk to her now because my mom definately bitched at her which I appreciate but I think she just made things harder for me. I cried so much last nite I havnt cried in front of people since I was about 5. And over something as retarded as this just blows my mind. Everyone was crying though so I blended in with all of the happy people and the peopel crying over the seniors. I was cryign in anger and frustration.
I am happy fro Jenn and Liz though Jenn got sergent and Liz got 2nd lieutenent. Jenn is the new lauren...new girl promoted to sergent and Liz is the new me...New girl promoted to 2nd lieutenent. lol good luck you guys we're gunna do great next year.
I was on the phne for hours with lauren last night trying to figure out what all of this new responsibility meant because regardless of my title me her allisona dn britt are still top 4 we are in charge of everything. so we decided on how to divide up some jobs and when to have a meeting with dicillo and everyone else. She is already freaking out from teh pressure of not having a co captain shes going to talk to dicilo about it. so whatever I'm going to have to accept that life isnt fair in this scenario and be gracious about it. I will see what happens next year after lauren leaves. If I don't EARN captain then I wont expect to get it. But if I do and she fucks me over again then I'm just leaving I don't need to devote my life and energy to something that wont even pay off in the end...why can't it just be about the dancing.
Fuck Politics
ps. this is y I stayed home today too if youre wondering
<3
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alwaysfalling
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2004 16 May :: 11.22pm
:: Mood: pleased
:: Music: penny and me
hi people.
i had a nice weekend.
-jazz on the ave. and dinner
-band banquet
-shopping and troy
-cousin's graduation party
the end. good night.
<3
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bocaheath05
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2004 16 May :: 7.58pm
what'd we just go through?
hsaw aknow
what's that? japanese?
no. wonka wash spelled backwards.
<3
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playmate101
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2004 16 May :: 5.43pm
:: Music: Watching// TRUE HOLLYWOOD STORY = MARiAH CAREY
went 2 work from 11-1pm. i was too sick. unfortunately, i left early, which sucked cause christian, michael & walter were there.
walter: go, go, go!
briana: +flicks off walter+
walter: i have a height requirement for those who want to flick me off.
briana: i'm goin' home early.
walter: nah uh. how?
briana: come here... i'll show u.
*coughs on walter*
walter: maybe i'll get lucky & go home now.
michael: sup?
my mom: don't piss her off... stay away... she'll get u sick.
briana: we tight, right mike? lol
anyways, i found some quotes online:
It's sad cuz everyday we have spent together iz slowly being
replaced by everyday we spend apart
If u* ..look.. inside a girl heart<3 n c
how MuCH she cries u'll find secrets,friends,n lies
but wha u'll c tha MoSt is
How HaRd it is 2 stay :StRoNg: wen *Nothig*
is !right! n ^Everything^is !wrong!
*WaNnA* b the gurl
that makes ur bad day b e t t e r
and the 1one1 that makes u say
"My life has c h a n g e d since I met her."*
**i KnOw yOu kNoW tHiS..
bUt tAkE iT fRoM mE..
CaUsE yOu dEsErVe sO
mUcH mOrE tHeN yOu
rEcEiVe.. LiStEn tO yOuR
hEaRt aNd LeT iT sHoW..
dOnT HoLd oN tO yOuR
pAiN.. JuSt LeT iT gO*
U dont get 2 choose
u juss fall & end-up with
someone in front of u who
is so wrong yet so incredibly
****RiGhT*****
>You< smile =) when >you< ...*feel*... like crying ='(
>You< ~act~ like your "okay" when you /falling\ apart >inside<
And >You< let it ...~go~... >You< move on..
Because there is (nothing) else >You< can do
d0n`t make sum1 ur priority
when u still remain their option
i wanna be like those girls in the movies:
2 have a man s0o in love it makes him drop 2 his knees
that's all 4 now... xoxo, i needa go lie back down +ahhh chew+
<3
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spinoangel
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2004 16 May :: 1.36am
:: Mood: scared
:: Music: ben jelen - "falling down"
i can't say why. scared for my thoughts. scared that what i feel is true. or maybe i'm just dragging myself down again. i just want so badly to run away and be alone because i can't stand this.
but this seems a little bit too hard.
and all the questions come running through my mind.
will i see this another way?
the simple truth is i'm falling down
and i don't want to drag you through the bottom.
and there she says
sit in front of me. turn around, you'll see.
i'm everything you want, all you'd ever need.
come back into my world. you know i'm always yours.
and she makes so much sense.
when she says
don't throw this away.
it's hard to know what's real when it all seems wrong.
<3
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playmate101
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2004 15 May :: 9.13pm
:: Mood: stuffy nose.
:: Music: none.
peanut butta jelly time, SPREAD OUT! lol Alyssa
today was different.
woke up @ 6am, not feeling too great. but i got ready for cheerleading, ran 2 jackies, (woke her up =/ sry <3 ) and then went to gym. 8-3pm wow.
Steph jacked the pizza. lol. s0o much pizza, everyone got their own box. <3 ATL
Courtney tellin' Alyssa & Steph about how she got suspended. STUPiD, STUPiD Bellin.
UCA teaching the dance to the girls. look at the lil' ones... they were s0o cute.
Captain is COMiNG. Good game, good game xoxo Mary Ellen doesn't know what she is doing, but Kaila is winnin' woot!
it was a long day, but we made it. even though this wasn't "real" camp.... i know it brought people together. (me, steph, alicia, kaila, courtney, alyssa) i surely enjoyed.
when i got home, i took a shower & was SOOO tired that i laid in my bed with my fancy robe & was gonna turn on the t.v. but didn't & just fell asleep. then jackie called me and woke me up lol, i deserved it. then had dinner. talked to jonah. can't go back to sleep now. s0o i talked to sherman. he's gotta flight to Maimi on the 29th. maybe i'll c him this time. +shrug+
anyways how is everyone enjoying their 3day weekend...?! its gotta be nice right. 10 more days of school. xoxo enjoy.
hm... i rented GOTHIKA... GOTTA get to watchin' it now...
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<3
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sammibaby
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2004 15 May :: 8.42pm
:: Mood: boredd outta my mind
:: Music: graduation song
DONT GET THE WRONG IDEA..
..just been thinking [again]
im not mad, upset, sad, or anyother name you can think of. i just want to know what i come off as. do i come off as this little white girl with the perfect life? can i pull off the whole 'smiles and giggles' thing? some of you think that and i never thought i could. i guess its good and all that i can pull that image off. but why does me looking happy mean i live in a "perfect world"? whats that saying..oh yeah..dont judge a book by its cover. the thing that really bothers me isnt the fact that you think i live in a perfect world or live the perfect life..but that you pretty much tell me what i have/do. or think that i cant relate to any hardship that one may encounter.
no, i most likely wont tell you what i've gone through and if i do it will be a very general summary. no, i most likely wont show you that im upset. no, i most likely wont cry infront of you. no, i most likely wont ever complain about personal stuff. no, i most likely wont ever show you that side of me. and you guys know that im like this. you know that im not an open person. and sometimes i wish i were. but the fact of the matter is that im not. i keep to myself on the personal things.
now, dont get me wrong, im glad i can hide my feelings or pretend to be happy, because i dont like letting people know im upset. and i love being there for other people. its about one of the greatest feelings in the world. for me atleast. just to know that i could be your shoulder to cry on, or the ear you vented to, or that you chose me to seek advice from. i just like helping people.
...now here comes the but.
BUT..when you tell me your problem or hardship..dont think i cant relate just because of the way i present myself. because more than likely i can relate. and when I TELL you that i understand or that i know what you're going through-- DO NOT, and i repeat do not, tell me that i cant. just because i you dont know, doesnt mean it didnt happen. only i would know what i've gone through, and it'll probably stay that way.
bottom line is: dont tell me what i've gone through, or what i do and dont understand, and do not tell me that i live in a perfect world, because that is so far from the truth. or maybe say it...but then when i tell you it isnt true..DO NOT tell me that i dont know what im talking about. because you're the one who doesnt know what they're talking about.
so think what you want about me, but if i tell you differently..dont argue with me.
again, im not mad, upset, depressed, or anything of that nature. im not hiding anything from you and theres nothing going on that you should worry about. this was just another result from sam not being able to go out and had too much time to think.
<3
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sammibaby
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2004 15 May :: 5.02pm
about to go out to dinner and still no signs of going out tonight. :(
<3
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sammibaby
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2004 15 May :: 12.39pm
:: Mood: boredddd
:: Music: hey mama
LA LA LA LA LA LA LA
yeah- didnt get to go out last night. but im gonna try to go out tonight. hopefully i'll find someone.
so last night i watched shrek. i love that movie. lol. i fell asleep towards the end though. then my family decided to leave their mess for me to clean up..12:30- not supposed to be cleaning. heh. then carlos called, we talked for a bit but then he got tired and had to go. and i couldnt fall asleep because i missed my "window". so i just laid in my bed for about an hour and stared at the ceiling.
havent done much today..woke up around 9:45..ate some apple jacks..watched some tv..cleaned my room. now im bored. so im gonna ask again---any one wanna go out today/tonight??!! call me up!
<3
<3
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playmate101
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2004 14 May :: 9.36pm
:: Mood: crappy
:: Music: people come for the party, but stay for the cory!
LALALA
today = nothing. woke up, talked to jonah all day. took a shower, did laundry. got in trouble for breaking the dryer. o well. its old anyways... we were doomed to get another one. haha so now mommy has to get one tomorrow. now, i'm babysitting and i was having a hard time eating my salad. tried stabbing a croton to get on my damn fork, and the chicken flung into my hair. +sigh+ forget that salad.
s0o i was thinking... this whole friend thing. idk none of it works out for me. no calls, no invitations, no nada. its like... i = never part of the girls "group". if i went somewhere, i'd invite u people... altho i don't go anywhere that u people would enjoy. but i'm saying... idk. i just wish i could be thought of. or am i one of those annoying girls of atlantic, but i just don't realize it. cause i think i seem to be. i take the effort to approach people... but they don't approach me. perhaps i am correct. cause i notice... the annoying girls approach people to talk.... but they are never approached. i lie in the same boat, obviously. i just wish someone would have warned me about it earlier.... w/e, i'm done complaining.
talking to pj now... gas money or walk to baseball.... lol
LiLsHorTcaKe2315: MR. PATRICK ZEITZ!
Baseballa4eva17: MRS. BRIANNA EVENSON!
LiLsHorTcaKe2315: ms. briana kristine evenson.
Baseballa4eva17: mr patrick jermaine zeitz
LiLsHorTcaKe2315: jermaine....? interesting.
Baseballa4eva17: u never herd mike call me jermaine
Baseballa4eva17: ?
LiLsHorTcaKe2315: nottttttttt that i recall.
Baseballa4eva17: lol
Baseballa4eva17: my m,iddle name not jermaine
LiLsHorTcaKe2315: ..... then why did u say that?
LiLsHorTcaKe2315: +confused....+
Baseballa4eva17: to have a lil fun wit ya
anyways... danielle g and i are discussing how i feel right now. yeah... i miss these talks. unfortunately i realize i don't have anyone to blab to anymore... cause since her & brittany moved... hell has been my home. it may not seem like it.... but its hard to find a girl to confide in. cause a guy doesn't understand. i know hema, & danielle g have always been there 24/7, whether they pretend to listen to my b.s. or if they really do... but everyone else just gives me a "shrug" or just that look... like... 'why are u telling me this?' s0o i've just not been able to open the can of worms inside of me.... o well.
i'm 0out. hahaha. my throat hurts again. this morning... i woke up without a voice. [stress=losing my voice]
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<3
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boricuababy
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2004 14 May :: 6.00pm
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: tha ATL seniors song (stuck in my head)
sam..u gotta tell me how tha rap goes!!!..lol
"im sittin in ma room..thinkin why oh why oh why..we gotta say goodbye..goodbye"..lol
today no skoo..hollllerrrrrrr..lol..wha i do??..i woke up late..watched hip hops toughest rhymes on mtv2..lol..good stuff..went to meliz house..hung out there for awhile..looked at yearbooks..did u kno that spanish river yearbooks come with a DVD yearbook too?!?!?!?!?!? how frickin tight is dat??..wow our skoo is cheap and ghetto..lol..so we watched tha dvd and made fun of alotta ppl..cracked up bout omar..i saw hema in tha video..and danny runnin tha track..kept rewinding it..lolol..ayy..dat wuz funny..den we signed each others yearbooks and juss talked after dat and watched videos..it wuz fun..we kept juss crackin up..wha i do yesterday??..me and sammi walked to...ahhh!!!..shit i juss burned my pizza!!..and tha kitchen is filled with smoke!!
LiLMiZzBLoNdiE26 [5:57 PM]: burnt it? is it frozen?
LiLMiZzBLoNdiE26 [5:57 PM]: OMG kaila
LiLMiZzBLoNdiE26 [5:57 PM]: stop drop roll
NuYoRiCaN019 [5:58 PM]: lmao
NuYoRiCaN019 [5:58 PM]: hahaha
NuYoRiCaN019 [5:58 PM]: wow..ooopz
NuYoRiCaN019 [5:58 PM]: no dinner for me now
LiLMiZzBLoNdiE26 [5:58 PM]: aww
LiLMiZzBLoNdiE26 [5:58 PM]: i'll bring u food
lol..wow..adrenaline rush..i saved my house!!..newayz..back to wha i wuz sayin..me and sammi walked to veteran's yesterday nite..met up wid carlos, sunil, myeong, and den amara came!!..we had fun..there wuz this lady sittin on tha bench next to us cheering her kids on saying "ra ra sis boom ba!!"..lmao..wow..i needed to show her sum real skillz..we watched tha guyz play bball..and ppl kept getting hurt..and sam n carlos were crackin on me cuz i wanted to call a paramedic for tha guy who hurt his ankle..lol..O-M-G LINE DOT!!..lol..amara..at veteran's i saw tha same guy who wuz stalkin me at paladium that one nite i went wid meli..wha are tha coincidences of that??..wow..scurriness..sam thot it wuz pretty funny..after dat we went back to my house n juss hung out..den everybody went home..:(.wha am i doing now???..talkin to amara and eating burnt pizza..actually not dat bad..lol
X3QTpiEx3 [6:09 PM]: ::burp::
NuYoRiCaN019 [6:09 PM]: wuz it a good burp??
NuYoRiCaN019 [6:09 PM]: or a weak one?
X3QTpiEx3 [6:09 PM]: man...it was weak..
X3QTpiEx3 [6:09 PM]: it was pathetic
NuYoRiCaN019 [6:10 PM]: lol
NuYoRiCaN019 [6:10 PM]: u needa step up ur game gurl!!
X3QTpiEx3 [6:10 PM]: i kno :-(
X3QTpiEx3 [6:10 PM]: >:o ::BURP!!!::
X3QTpiEx3 [6:10 PM]: dat was better
NuYoRiCaN019 [6:10 PM]: good job!!!!!
X3QTpiEx3 [6:10 PM]: lol
interesting convo huh??..lol..datz us chicas!!..we crazzzzzyyyyyy..i mite chill wid my semi bebi tonite..if we can pull rides..talk ta u guyz laterrrrr..x0x0
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<3
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colombiana
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2004 14 May :: 5.43pm
:: Music: Juvi_Slow Motion
surveyy
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<3
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sammibaby
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2004 14 May :: 4.53pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: big pimpin'
im gonna start from AP exams..which sucked major butt. where was the point in me studying for 16515613 freaking hours? and me going absolutely crazy?? yeah- just alittle bit pissed. but i am glad theyre done!! whoo! yesterday was good..didnt do much in spanish. math=me putting on makeup. got a C on my test. i dont think i can possibly do good in that class. eh whatever. chemistry=no kenyon! SCORE! but we had busy work which sucked. but "we beat you" says delirious. holy crap me and amara seriously were out there. just completely lost it. lunch was fun..talked, ate, the usual. then art history was pretty mush a free period. discussed our project. kaila gave me my idea. thanks chiquita!! then we just talked and such. fun fun. until my foot got crushed. but its all good. lol. bus ride.. me and amy got hit on by joe. not fun-he's on crack..whoa. went home..then went to kailas and we went to veterans n met up with carlos..i had lotsa fun!! then amara met us there and we all went back to kailas. amara left right after though and then we watched some tv. carlos n me left liked 30 mins. after. took me home. couldnt get out of the car. lmao! but i wanna know why im the one always getting hurt or the one that has the 'weird' stuff happen?? haha..strange occurance..guess so. but we always have a good time, so i'll live. then i talked to ashley for a while. nice. but then i had to go bc i was falling asleep on the phone and it was only 11! then today i got up and laid out got a tan. go me! lol..im still white though. now i wanna try n call some ppl so i can go outttt!! any takers??
<3
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<3
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spinoangel
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2004 14 May :: 11.58am
:: Mood: contemplative
:: Music: damien rice - "cannonball"
ever get that feeling...
that you know you miss something, but you can't explain why or how? you realize that you still need it. you realize that life is different without it. you finally want it again. and you don't want to recognize it, but you know it's there. and that it's too late to ever get it back. yeah.
<3
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lifesuxsodanz
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2004 13 May :: 11.14pm
Seniors last show tonight....so sad I can't imagine life without them. A bunch of alumni came got to see Ashley and Jenna again that was nice.
Michelle picked me and lauren up from school we went to my house to get ready lmao I love listening to them fight...
michelle: " I TOLD you 4:00 we HAVE to leave now!"
lauren: "buddy why the hell are we leaving a half hour early u can speed and get us there in 15 minutes?!"
michelle: "If your not a half hour early youre a half hour late!"
lol she was busting out with the soccer mom quotes all nite...."shut the door hillary what were u raised in a barn?!"
got to the show 35 fricken minutes early went to starbucks....frappacino was a bad idea before dancing.
Danielle and Heather showed up which was nice. Dances...looked like shit o well me....sick and naseous and dizzy uggghhh lol thought I was gunna puke on the audience.
Mad weirdness everywhere....alberto and alejandro came alejandro was with sum other girl....francisco was there I havnt seen him since our drunken makeout session on danielles couch almost a year ago....lol he didnt come over when the twins did....there was other weirdness too crazy nite.
Didn't go out to dinner cuz it was just the SENIORS lol I see how it is. They had to discuss banquet and who is getting what position and whatever other suprises they have planned...secret stuff psh.
Some weirdass spanish guy called a couple times...claims I met him and gave him my # a few weeks ago I don't remember...his voice sounded like I had heard it b4 tho....idk he freaked me out a bit.
Cleaned out my locker today had to carry so many books like a true IB nerd lol thank god german was by me in the hallway when I was tryin to make it to north lot after chem.
Chem was actually pretty fun we had a sub...ignored the work played cards bonded as a class lol exciting shit.
TWO MORE WEEKS!!!!! TWO MORE WEEKS!!!!!
~fuck yeah~
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<3
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playmate101
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2004 13 May :: 5.00pm
:: Mood: amused
chem:
*ms. swanson is priceless. "i don't know why u have to be such a pussy about it!"
*adam adding the one drop of NaOH to our vinegar! grrr... turned it dark pink, he definitely isn't a good titrator.... nor is he a good shaker. but christina & danielle rock my sox.
stats:
*spoons LMAO!!! omg, mike, pj, anand, avi, stu, logan, ashley, heather, me, pretam... i love this class. "i owe u a ride, don't i?" and a way to hold the hand. goodness.
*mike gettin' hit with the pen in the neck.
*pj gettin' 4 of a kind & not gettin' a pen lmao.
*anand & his baller hat that he wants to get.
*me & heather knocking over that stupid game.
*ashley & BS. BS. BS. BS. i KNOW u don't have ANY Jacks. lmao.
econ: sleep. simple as that.
lunch: heather & i talked. & even though she mentioned that she has told s0o0o many people about her situation, i still... felt good because i haven't had anyone like her talk to me in awhile... and i mean, i got so used to listening to jackie & carlos & brittany & groton, that i just.... it felt good to hear someone else talk to me, about something new. idk its like... heather actually found it worth telling me... idk it just was nice.
art hist:
*wrote in sam's yearbook. who thought u could write so much for people u barely even know... i guess... just like writing in liz's book... i wish i had gotten to know some of these people better... cause they look so sweet & they look like if we hung out... we could have fun together.... when summer comes... we're hanging out. <3
*talked to carlos.... it was pretty much a free period. (spain, & ur haircut lol)
*u know i owe u a ride home... don't i?! lol
allaround222: did patrick ride u
allaround222: *give u a ride
anand.... urrrrrr dead. lol <3 come on. i have jonah, lucky me!! <3333 pj just offered me a ride home... which i intend on getting... maybe. tuesday perhaps. +shrug+
bus ride home: determined to win solitaire on Kayli's IPod. but u know what... since i didn't win today... i still have monday. <3
now... i think imma nap... today was a great day... but it wore me out. now if only my boyfriend could make it better.... maybe i will see him, or alex & i will ACTUALLY get together & go for ribs. lmao xoxo
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AVI!
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<3
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playmate101
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2004 12 May :: 9.16pm
:: Mood: pleased
:: Music: what a wonderful world // louis armstrong
school isn't officially out, but its almost over. this is all we have left:
Chem - lab & exam.
Spanish - role play project & exam.
English - vocab quiz & exam.
Bio - buncha stuff.
Stats - done.
Economics - done.
Art History - simple project, then done.
simple. simple. no more AP tests. thank goodness. i forgot the stickers along with pretam, carlos, heather, and ashley t. lol ballers.
i need to go see landaker. need to get papers for departing Atlantic. =/
my kitty: she went to the vet. doctor said she has a cancer tumor. he also said that we will know the signs of when she is too sick to live. the only way for her to survive is to amputate (sp?) her leg.... at which, is a risk considering how old she is. mommy cried. she made me cry. she's very emotionally stressed about the situation. 17 years. its been long... my kitty is my baby. i went to pick her up last night, & i just carry her on my side like a baby and she wraps her paws around me... and nudges at my face. so loving. so sad. that's going to be the day. grandma emily. papa. & now my kitty. i don't want it to happen. *pray, o, pray*
on a better note: jonah & i = 7 months. 1o.12.o3, congratulations to us. we made it. no hell. no no no. feels very refreshing, clean & nice. no matter how i feel, i don't want this love to end. endless.
alex, ribs. lol thursday, por favor? perhaps, we'll try. xoxo
time to blow dry my hair, pick out what to wear, & clean off the bed so i can get some shut eye.
i see trees of green, red roses too
i see them bloom from me and u
and i think to myself
what a wonderful world
i see skies of blue & clouds of white
the bright blessed days & dark sacred nights
and i think to myself
what a wonderful world
the colors of the rainbow
so pretty in the sky
r also on the faces of people passing by
i see friends shaking hands
saying "How do u do?"
they're really saying "i love u!"
i hear babies cry, i watch them grow
they'll learn much more than i'll ever know
and i think to myself what a wonderful world
and i think to myself....
what a wonderful..... world
<3
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spinoangel
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2004 12 May :: 8.07pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: american football - "never meant"
i only write about bad days and bad feelings, because that's usually the only time i need to vent in my journal because i'm tired of venting directly to all my friends. its a lot easier to just talk to myself than try to bring up my personal problems in everyday conversation. no one has to read it... it's just me being my moody self. k? yeah.
it's over. it's all all over. thank the lord. and i feel sooooooooooo much better. greta's dad is very generous. greta's sister is funny. i love greta. thanks for a nice winding down.
<3
sigh. great times from here on out.
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alwaysfalling
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2004 11 May :: 11.07pm
ap tests start in eight hours. don't forget your stickers!
i'm out. going to watch peter pan preview on the love actually dvd just because i love it so much.
imagine a world like nothing you've ever seen where everyday is an adventure, a world where you'll never have to grow up or grow old, come with me, all you have to do is leave home behind but you can never come back...
<3
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spinoangel
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2004 11 May :: 4.37pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: ben jelen - "falling down"
can i just go to sleep and never wake up? goddamn i feel like i'm being crushed with metal plates... physically AND mentally. it hurts so much, and i feel so tired i just wanna lie in bed and be a vegetable. walking home, i felt like i was gonna collapse in the hot hot sun.
why cant we just do this shit without studying. i need rest and relaxation but noooooooo.
mmph. i hope these feelings go away for friday.
<3
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lifesuxsodanz
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2004 10 May :: 11.43pm
:: Mood: BAH
i should be in bed or doing my daybook or studying...bah
I have summeritis I'm just stright up choosing not to do assignments anymore. Its not like I'm evern forgetting about them I just remember and say...fuck it I'll turn it in late. BAH
today me n danielle colored in stats I was the coloring book Nazi and didn't let her give up. It was mad retro cool (lol made up that new phrase for manda) lyk kindergarten all over again...JB knew his disney fairytales a tad too well for my liking....Dr. Baum made fun of us : P
Today was my captain audition and laurens...I'm so glad it's over with. Basically I had to choreograph a minute long dance make up formations and then teach it to the whole squad in only 45 minutes with no help and all of the seniors being obnoxios. They were really ridiculous thank god lauren went first. I wanted to cry they were so mean to her. Danielle actually brought her pet ferret and had the coaches EXTREAMLY annoying 8 yr old son logan release it in the middle of the dance room so every1 freaked out and nobody would listen to her. lol Dicillo eventually calmed everyone down and made the seniors stop so Lauren could finish.
I think mine went a bit better which suprised me. I knew what to expect from the seniors so it wasn't as big a deal. And I didn't run out of time or anything and everyone said they really liked my dance. Nicky said her and a lot of ppl she talked to gave me perfect scores on my evaluation sheet...idk Allison Britt and Charde still have to go on wednesday. We all know we are getting the top five positions we just don'n know in what order. It would be ridiculous for anyone but lauren to get captain since she is the only senior so I'm basically just shooting for co-captain. whatever I'm glad its over now I just have to wait until sunday @ the banquet to find out.
I called michelle when I got home and we talked for a long time...lol she wouldnt tell me what my score was tho which pissed me off....shes supposed to be my informant!! we took some online tests and found out that we are very much certifiable alcoholics and if they are at all acurate....we might need some help lol. fuck it I love life, and if that's living...so be it.
BAH more homework to do...jus checking in
~much love~
Jess
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alwaysfalling
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2004 9 May :: 11.53pm
this weekend was enjoyable.
friday - dinner with the whole Kwan family at buco di beppo. <3 them mucho. then, movies with tina, adam, and tina's mom. saw mean girls and boy were those girls mean. slept over tina's house.
saturday - ate leftovers, kept myself busy while tina studied watching tv and going online, did tina's hair, laughed, danced, had fun times getting dressed-up. boy do i love her. came home and cut the grass because i was so happy.
sunday - did pretty much absolutley nothing much of anything. washed the floors and straightened up mi casa for my mom, a little cinderella action, while the boys just sat around and did nothing. threw away all of my stats stuff, talked to my aunt, tried on my dress for my aunt and little cousin, sat and looked at the yearbook with my aunt.
aunt jenny: you're right, the senior guys are much cutier then the sophmore guys.
i ate a lot today. i love food, such a chub.
two ap tests this week on the same day!! ugh. and ms.french thinks we are coming to class that day... heh.
try to enjoy this stressful week, the end of it shall be wonderful.
love to all.
<3
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playmate101
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2004 9 May :: 6.56pm
:: Mood: crazy
saturday nights get long.
8pm: called hema.
9pm: hema picked me up.
9:30pm: we were at the motel with morgan, neil, zil, jb, renee, zach, andrew, mike & some other kid(s).
10pm: morgan records zach promising to buy us breakfast in the morning.
10:30pm: BOOM BOOM BOOM!
10:30-11pm: busted & laughing with the cops. condoms, the ice, the "guns", the keg in the bathtub, the pizza, etc. nobody's parents were called, hema was the only sober driver out of: Jb, Zil, renee, & her. 3 girls, 7 guys... hema... TIME TO BUST THE COP'S ASS!
11pm: neil, w/o a license, .o9 over the alcohol limit after a breath test... drives hema's car, hema drives zil's car. renee drives his own.
11:30pm: Lake Worth Beach. met up with a bunch of potheads. not safe driving.
12am: Neil grabs me, i get off the phone with brittany & we grab everyone & head for city place.
12:15am: neil is being yelled at by the backseat people. he swerves into the right lane... thinking nobody is in it. nearly hitting a white truck. the white truck follows after us. neil calls renee, telling him to cut off the truck so he can't get the license number in the parking lot.... nice parking lot chase. renee ends up knowing the people. then we stop at some other parking lot, and renee wants to beat neil's ass... cause he almost killed those people.
12:45am: made it to the train station.
12:50am: hema & i jumped in her car & drove off in search of a restroom. ran into city place... then headed to mike's house.
1:30am: got to mike's house.
2:30am: i crashed cause hema & mike were flirting... i didn't wanna interupt.
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8:30am: we all wake up.
9:30am: on the road to drop me off at work after speeding very much so.
10am: made it to work on the dot.
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how'd we get caught in the motel: zil bought the keg.... they brought it upstairs... people surrounded it. obviously not enough people because the manager saw them carrying it up through his window.
------------------------------
good weekend. even though i was scared shitless that my parents were gonna be called... which they weren't... but still... phew. <3 for the record: hema & i were sober... the only ones.. w00t.
"I live for the nights i will never remember, with the people i will never forget." Anonymous (Neil's Profile.)
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bocaheath05
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2004 9 May :: 3.45pm
i'm so random today
HandOfDoom21: hows it going heahter
iluvBITP: weird, you just signed on and i'm listening to satellite, i believe thats the song you played for me on the phone
iluvBITP: and im sick and am horse and i sound like a hooker man
iluvBITP: whatcha do yesterday?
HandOfDoom21: hahhaha
HandOfDoom21: you should get that fixed
HandOfDoom21: go to the docs
iluvBITP: like phone sex man
iluvBITP: all i know is that i keep blowing my nose in the same napkin and its small and wet
flirtygrl202: i used adams deodorant.. i smell like a man
iluvBITP: ahh we're so random
<3
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lifesuxsodanz
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2004 8 May :: 10.19pm
:: Mood: fat
I'm fat
ugh just got back from carrabbas, good food, too much....ughhhh. Oh well I've decided to eat up until summer (A) because I have no one to impress and (B) my mom flat out told me I was going on a diet this summer.
Today was tiring. I had to be at tryouts at this morning all the seniors set up and lauren and I led warmup. Me and Jenn were in the 2nd group so we got it over with right away, my audition went really good I nailed both of my switch leaps and the guy judging from southern just kinda stared in suprise for a sec. Afterwards Shersty drove me Jenn Brittney Rolle and Rashunda to dunkin doughnuts to get some FOOD. yay for food!
Then we came back and Michelle was the senior in charge of watching the ppl outside so I had her fill me in on everything I'd missed from the night before. I was kinda glad I didn't go because it gave michelle a chance to have more fun. When I'm there no matter how drunk she is she is so paranoid about me and who is keeping an eye on me and all the boys (lol) that she doesn't enjoy herself. Whatever will I do without my legal guardian.
Then FINALLY they were done tallying up the scores and announced who made it. Then they announced the top 5 dancers. Guess who got number 1??? thas right yours truly I got the highest score outta like all 50 people trying out. w00t!!!
Thennnnn michelle and I headed to the mall in search of last minute mother's day presents. I came home took a shower talked to heather and danielle and then we went to target for sum shit...saw my half cuban bro there (armando for those who don't know)...then we went out to eat.
Heather and Amy are fighting, it saddens me. lol I know I always preach to heather but hopefully some of my advice is somewhat helpful. I don't like seeing her go through the things I have gone through but it is an inevitability. Close friendships are like relationships they take a lot of work, unfortunately sometimes they are just not worth the effort they require and it's nothing that can be helped. I hope that is not the case with amy and heather.
I want this week to be over...banquet is next sunday I cant wait. I get to find out what position I got next year but I will surely cry during senior speeches.
Once the AP government exam is over I can relax a bit until finals....not that I have started studying or NEthing : \
~I love~
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playmate101
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2004 8 May :: 9.44am
:: Mood: sad
:: Music: Don't Tell Me // Avril Lavigne
go shorty, its ur birthday
let's just say i'm lucky to become part of the first varsity cheerleading team at Park Vista High School. Michelle, Chelsea, Shay, Nikki, etc. we all made the team. i can't wait for the school year to start. just walking off the bus with jb & britt.... it felt s0o.... high school - ish, not like, we have to go home & study & sit on our asses. its more of... we are going to do sports & its traditional to hang out with football players if ur a cheerleader. plus, they are my guiding hand, or my big brothers, as i go into this year. its like... weird talking to britt on the phone too, but he always returns my calls, & he isn't such an ass when he is on the phone with me. like.... i told him about making varsity & he said something along the lines of, "well we all knew u were going to make it. u just hadda believe u would, cause i definitely knew u would." so idk he's cool... and jb, i believe took home britt's cleat. and britt wants me to go get it from jb... in hopes that i will return it. idk i'm just glad they will be there with me. plus i have: Michelle, Neil, Ashley, Shay, Alex, Chelsea, Nikki, Scott, etc. whoever is going. so i'm excited. but there's definitely going to be an empty place after leaving atlantic.
i'm trying not to say goodbye to anyone. i don't want to lose touch with anyone at all. but there is always that time....
Danielle: my sister. we've been thru hell & back, & all the crazy memories we shared and this life long friendship that can't be outdone. i mean everything has been so great, i don't know where i would be without u, and now i'm scared to be without u. i think ur the reason i've stayed so conservative & ur the reason i am who i am. and i thank u for it. but i want to make more memories with u. cars, boys, drinks, friends, etc. all that.
Anand: bitch / hoe relationship. its been awesome. ur like so... "all around" lol. we've shared so many laughs & u've been there to cheer me up all the time. i love how easy it is to talk to u. and just to make fun of each other continuously & still, "feel the love."
Avi: our relationship grew steadily. u've become my cheating buddi. always the one there that was able to "hook me up" or just to make fun of, or crack on someone, or just laugh. i know we've complained about Atlantic for s0o long... but its going to be s0o odd not waking up in the morning & going to school to watch the enjoyment of u begging carlos to do ur spanish hw. lol. sadly enough stats is over... the rest of my math classes.. i will fail... without u. imma miss u.
carlos: wow. thats all there is. i mean talking... all the time. like 2 close friends should. i always seem to understand how u feel, but we can never manage to make a solution to it. u & i talk so much... its kinda like... idk. the stuff we talk about, the moments we have. there's nothing like it. priceless. i will always be here for u.
pj: damn, from elementary school til now. its been fun. now ur living around here... we're still gonna hang out. i don't want no1 else callin' me "Tiny one" or givin' me scoops. u've been wonderful. s0o shy & afraid of girls, but s0o easy to talk to. laid back & simply sweet. i couldn't ask for more. ur gonna find the perfect girl. she's gonna be s0o lucky. don't hold out on her. <3 ya.
pretam: ur the shit man! yeah. yeah! damn, without u.... english wouldn't be so entertaining. u have the funniest personality & i love it. i could never in a million years find anyone like u. ur hands in ur pants, ur dirty dancing, ur obsession with outkast, ur funny remarks, etc. ur just unique. bi-curious lol. ur the best.
sameen: this year has been great. i can't imagine what economics would have been without u. so sweet & adorable, i just wanna pinch ur cheeks like a grandma lol. how do u play dominoes? hehe. but i'm definitely going to miss u next year.
logan: bb. my short red head friend. i am still shocked that u got outta ib. i mean... yeah... cheating. whatever it was a funny laugh while it lasted. ur the one who seems to cause all the tension between ib people, and yeah, u may be one of those kids who benefits himself, but i still enjoy your company. its hard not to like u, even after the stupidest arguments we've had... u always find something stupid, yet slick to do that will always make me laugh.
sunil: homie! who's gonna turn around just to pinch my cheeks, give me a high five, or to call me a bitch? art history is the only class we've had together, u know, imma miss u. its like cRAzY. u give me hugs just for the hell of it. and when i need one... u always manage to give them to me at the perfect time. i wish i could be brown, just like u. i wanna be related to u lol. anyways, imma miss ur stank ass, xoxo lol j/k
adam: ur personality is so great. although u piss heather off lol, i know she still loves u deep down. but u always make ib less stressful, and make me smile everytime i don't feel so good. ur a perv, but ur also a guy lol. xoxo imma miss making fun of stupid ms french & jb. lol
ashley t: we've been friends since 7th grade. and its been a long journey. i never figured we'd make it this far... varsity, classes... everything... but i'm glad u are my friend. we have that problem... that results in making fun of ugly people & stupid people... and that problem where we just laugh about people. idk i'm just gonna miss u. i wish we could have hung out more tho. xoxo
heather: i'm glad we've became friends this year. altho i wish we could have been closer.. but don't listen to what anyone says. all those feelings and emotions are just a part of growing up, stay happy as frequent as possible cause ur pretty & there's no need to feel pissed off about anything.
kailannie: this year has been so much fun, and even though cheerleading is the only thing that really holds us as friends, i don't mind, because i enjoyed it. i mean checkin' out the cute guys, watchin' the basketball players be stupid... i mean... teaching me how to "be black" with dances... its been a trip. but now that i'm leaving, i wish u the best of luck on JV & be sure to have fun.
christina: i wish u & i would have become better friends. ur accomplishments always amaze me, and ur like a role model. i know u have those up & down days, but everyone does, just continue to stay the strong person that i know u can be. ur going to find ur one true love, i know it. if the guy is smart... he won't turn away from u. with all ur different talents, ur going to be big. i wish u luck.
amanda f: what are we going to do without being in school together next year?? ure so sweet & ur stories about ur friends are great. ur definitely not the person i expected u to be... member when we first met in McManus's class... and u thought danielle & i were going to be snobby? and the plays we put on. and then having english together this year... hanging out with u has been fun. and then all the poetry analyizing we've done. and bitching at peter. imma miss these days. love ya.
ashley c: tampa... is lucky. they are getting u. but i hope u enjoy it there. i know atlantic is gonna be worse next year too. but we've made a few good memories... even though i will cherish those, i wish we made more. ur so beautiful, idk where ur lover is. but he needs to find u cause he'd make ur life so much easier. xoxo come visit us every once in awhile.
jessica c: although we've only had english class together this year, its been so much fun. messin' around.. makin' fun of.. u know who. and figurin' out pretam's sexuality lol. i know u can do better in ib... pull through. <3
jessica b: long year, few memories. i'm glad i at least got to hang out with u twice. the time u lost ur cell phone at the club, and then during homecoming. u know i've always wanted to be friends with u, but knowing that ur very picky with friends... i just accepted i wouldn't really ever have the chance. but i'm glad there is this woohu thing, otherwise i would have never known u at all. ur an awesome dancer, & i hope that brings u somewhere in life. and all ur reasoning for situations... its just funny. great personality. keep it real. xoxo
liz: i feel like i know u so well, yet we barely talk, but i put u here because u impress me. ur always so happy & sweet & caring. ur brighten everyone's day & i look up to ya. stay sweet & don't change, u definitely have some angel wings that just happen to invisible to everyone. xoxo
ashley p: now that u're there, i'm leaving... i didn't want it to come to this... but it must. u've been a friend that i could never ask for. so wonderful, caring, beautiful, funny, sweet, smart (in some ways) lol.... etc. i love how we can make fun of each other and neither of us get personal about it. and the stupid things we say... that just make my day. haha that rhymes. <--- like that. lol anyways, make some more haitian friends for me... and enjoy the rest of the atlantic. don't forget our tree. xoxo imma miss... the smell of ur feet. jk. lol miss ya.
jackie: this is pointless because im about to repeat everything i said in ur yearbook that i wrote forever & a day in. but ur a great friend. u've been there through thick and thin and we have made so many memories together. from typing class to the cruise to late night talks to laughs & few tears & hard times & summer days. i can't imagine what its gonna be like next year, not being able to look forward to seeing u every morning. but i know summer is coming & u have ur car... and i will get mine... then it will be beach, sun & boys. love ya... sis.
to those at ATLANTIC that i missed. i love u still... and all of u... continue IB... its well worth it. enjoy the '04-'05 year. stay strong, i'm always hear for everyone. this entry is way too long, so i'm out xoxo
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lifesuxsodanz
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2004 7 May :: 11.24pm
I couldn't tell you how today was, I'm so tired I guess it is for the best that I couldnt go to that beach thing with Michelle and Danielle and the applebees crew. Yeah they were having a party at the beach all night along with Gary's guitar and all the leftover alcohol and such...would have been nice I do love the beach at night. Oh well I hope they all have fun without me....my parents continue to suck.
Tryouts in the morning I'm so nervous....not.
I am nervous for my captain audition which is on monday. And the Government exam on wednesday.
I'm sorry everyone I have things to say but nothing seems important right now, I can't stop staring at the wall.
...you wish you knew what CHUB was
~Jessica~
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boricuababy
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2004 7 May :: 6.29pm
:: Mood: hyper
:: Music: dickey ride..
wooooooooooo...im feelin madd hyper..i dunno why tho..lol..today wuz a good day..and imma have a good weekend..lol..psshh..studying for examz and all..x0x0
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alwaysfalling
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2004 6 May :: 11.11pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: third eye blind - semi-charmed life
Sophomore year is coming to an end, 15 more days of school left. It makes me go through a whole bunch of different emotions. At first, I'm happy... 2 years left, we are half way done and I'm so very satisfied with the past two years. Then, I wonder about those people leaving and become saddened. Those people leaving, they aren't just those friends... the ones leaving are my family. Briana, JB, and Ashley Cline. My memories from my teenage life so far come from them mostly. Briana... she's my sister, the one that became my friend in Ms.Barbose's class in 6th grade, she's the first one that took in my funky personality. We both have learned so much from each other and have been through so much together. I believe though that our friendship is able to with stand anything. I know 5 years from now when she is cheering in college, I'm going to go and see her and cheer her on. Then there is JB... that boy that gave me my first kiss, let me know that is fun to be friends with boys, he's leaving and going to grow up and be such a wonderful man and person, he tells me not to worry though because he will always come down to my house and visit me. Lastly, there is Ashley Cline, that girl that became one of my best friends in school during the past year, the one I have experienced so much with, I'm scared to see her go, I will miss everything that she has to offer. I can't wait to be able to visit her in Tally though. I like the person I have become with the help of these people and others.
I miss spending time with my family. My older cousin still isn't talking to me and she just moved back to her home in North Florida and is not coming back next year to Palm Beach Atlantic most likely. =( I miss her. I know it is my fault for all this and it's just... sad. Who knows, maybe during my brother's graduation, when they are all down here we'll make-up.
I'm tired of living at home, but I'm sure most of you know that. My dad works til 11 every night since he is teaching the afternoon and night class, the only time I get to see him is when he drives me to the bus stop in the morning when I'm not in the mood to chat that much. My mom refuses to take her thyroid medicine and everyday she comes home and is tired and worn out and ends up just falling asleep and leaves me and my brother to find whatever we can to eat, which leaves me in charge since my brother has no clue. And when she does wake up she is irritable and then my dad comes home from work and is irritable too and then they argue. Next year I imagine it will be worse, but thankfully I will have a car. My brother is leaving in less than a month, for a pretty long time and I will miss him dearly. He's my brother, that guy that when I was little, beat me up and teased me, but we grew up and he is weird but I still love him so much.
I wish my bruises would go away, they still hurt when I touch them and they make me feel insecure with a big mark on the side of my arm. I wish I had someone to kiss and hang out with. I wish summer would come now, so I can forget about school and just have plain fun.
peace. <3
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