You are beautiful, but you don't mean a thing to me.

:: 2006 5 March :: 7.58pm

well moms been in the hospital for the past week and shell be gone this week to, shes in i.c.u..
all ive done latly is play D&D which i cant complain but i still am kinda down. i went to breakfast with david the other day which was fun. hung out and played video games. everyone in this family is fighting and angery and worried and its pretty annoying i wish some of the adults would relize there are more important things to do than fight.
but like i said im pretty down..i guess the doctors are saying my mom might not make it which is pretty sad but shes not gona give up even tho here body already is. they have her on a resporator and shes got pumps on her legs that keep her blood moving. they say the cemo triggered it and now shes gona have her second treatment on tuesday so i have to keep my fingers crossed that it wont get worse.

5 kids | you worry too much

:: 2006 5 March :: 10.05am

everyone around me is braking up. it's so crazy.

this winter has been a little too cold.

anachronism

:: 2006 4 March :: 6.44pm
:: Music: James Blunt - Goodbye My Lover

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun.
Yes, I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So, I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over, but it won't stop there.
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart, you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
my heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Chorus:
Goodbye, my lover.
Goodbye, my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer, but when I wake
you can't break my spirit, it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me.
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the [mother] of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts, but now we're fine.
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

[Chorus]

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine, when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
when I'm kneeling at your feet.

[Chorus]

I'm so hollow, baby. I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

:: 2006 4 March :: 2.40pm

i totally just saw a couple get married at mcdonalds on the news.
they met when they both worked there.
that is so cute.
i knew mcdonalds was good for something other than creepy guys hitting on you at the window . . .
well, maybe not for me but it is for some people.

:: 2006 3 March :: 11.28pm

seven days off of work and ten days off of school. or something to that effect.
i am stoked.
seriously.

5 kids | you worry too much

box

:: 2006 3 March :: 7.57pm

Life has never been better!

Thru the ups and down's in life i am finally coming out on top. I am proud to say I am an Independant Business Owner. Things are going great. By mid summer I will be Job optional and financially free of trading time for money like the rest of you 95 percent'ers..

Anyways, tomorrow I will be going to pick up a transmission for my truck. Should be back before noon, Then i have a business meeting from 12:00 PM - 3:00PM After that I will be in the garage putting in my new tranny.

Sunday I will be in another more personal Business meeting with one of my Business mentors.

**Your mind is like a Parachute, it only work's if its Open***

~Cheers.

:: 2006 3 March :: 6.38pm

Have you ever sat there and watched a candle in a glass holder burn for so long, and down so far that it's all liquid. You can actually see the metal piece at the bottom holding the wick. And you are just waiting for the moment the glass shatters. All the suspense is building up. Creating more pressure. So you finally blow the candle out because the more you thought about it, if it were to shatter, you'd have quite the mess to clean up. But then you relight all your candles several hours later, including that one candle you thought was going to shatter earlier.. Thats how my head feels at this moment. My headache is so intense. It went away long enough for me to fall asleep. But came back to wake me up with excrutiating pain through my entire head. Leaving me feeling miserable, like my head is going to explode..

I'm so happy I don't have to work tonight anymore.
Lori told me she'd work for me.
Sadly work was the only thing I had to do tonight.
I have no friends. Well I do, but they won't drive to Greenville to hang out with my lame ass.
Oh well. I'll just sit here, with my candles, and my headache.
And sulk.
Kidding. I called my dad and told him to get his ass off his couch and come over.
And Mike is coming over too.
Funny thing is I think my mom said something earlier about coming over too.
That won't be the least bit awkward.
Eh, Next weekend will be filled with BOTH of my parents.

And I heart tanning. I went for like 7 minutes today. Boobs = slightly burnt already. Could be because I burn fairly easily. haha yay! I'll be tan by next weekend!

7 kids | you worry too much

brokenmentality

:: 2006 3 March :: 9.02am

soo.. there's some seroius talk about us moving to Tennesse sometime this summer. that would be the most wonderful thing.

i was talking to Keegan about it last night, and im not worried about leaving him, because more than likely, he'd come with us. i just hate michigan, and i hate cedar springs. i know that sounds bad because i was the red flannel queen, and i guess hate is to strong a word. cedar springs is my home, and no matter where i go, where i end up... it will always BE my home. and regardless of what anyone says, we will never FULLY get away, because this town harbors all of our childhood memories. we are who we are because we've lived in Cedar Springs, and i'm not ashamed to say i'm from a small town, because there is a "Cedar Springs" all over the U.S... what i hate is the routine of living in the same place all my life. what i hate is living in a town that is so closed minded and traditional. and what i hate is living in a town who's known for dollar stores and pizza places.

Tennesse on the other hand, is absolutely breathtaking. i've known that i wanted to live there since the 5th grade when we went on vaccation to the Smokies. i'm not a big city girl. i dont want to live in an expensive appartment for the rest of my life! i want (corny) a big back yard and a little yappy dog that barks at squirls bigger than it! i want a window FOR ONCE with a view. and i want and desperatly miss that feeling of connection with a power so much greater than myself when i look at the mountains. thats what i want. there's nothing here for me. after school... there's NOTHING here. i would have a hard time leaving my friends... but i'd deal.

the one person i could NEVER leave though, is keegan. at least not right now. not when he's my best friend and a big part of my life and quite possibly future. thats why if we leave, he'll leave. we're not about to give up on something so beautiful.

so.. perhaps this a goodbye to miserable winters and tanning salons?! i guess we'll see.......

:: 2006 2 March :: 6.48pm

Open For Business
Well all I am officially open for business so if your parents are interested in my services have them give me a call at (616)901-4044 or 863-6051

$13 a month (this month is 10)
45 gallon carts (small I know but its all I can afford)
Pickup on Monday for the west side of Northland
Pickup on Friday for the east side of Northland
From Sand Lake to Rockford area

Thanx to all who support me

Tuwang

:: 2006 2 March :: 10.16am

Lookin like a long day ahead of me kids... I'm tired as hell and i have to wait till 6. Kind of sucks.

Later then...

:: 2006 2 March :: 8.26am

Nothing is worse than being called a fucking cunt by a BLACK guy.
But being sexually harassed by your supervisor comes real close.

7 kids | you worry too much

:: 2006 1 March :: 4.31pm
:: Mood: *exhausted*
:: Music: *automatic flowers - olp*

*love me for who i am not who you want me to be*
Having trouble sleeping again.
The neighbors baby won't stop crying.
I hate going to the dentist.
Got my hair cut.
A trim turned into about an inch and a half cut off. Whoops.
My best friend from when I was 3, Billy, is going to marry some nut job who thinks he's going to cheat on her with every girl he talks to.
They bought a house together. Neither of them live in it. She won't move in until their married. And he doesn't want to live there alone.

My sisters wedding is next weekend.
Mike's birthday is next weekend.
As well as Addisons.
My dads birthday is today.

My entries are always boring and pointless.
But I don't care because they represent me.
Boring, not exactly pointless.

Chris told me he'd cook for me, at my apartment. He's even bringing the food. You may have to bring some dishes too.

Anyone know of anyone who has a double or queen bed for real cheap? I am in desperate need.
My bed = Hurts my back A LOT.

Woo! I lose a point at work today. If I can make it to may without missing a day or being late, I'll be down to 2 points and I'll get my incentive back and I'll be making more money! Funny thing about that is, when I got my incentive, I didn't realize it until I lost it. haha

Anywhore. I'm done. I quit.
Maybe I'll sleep. Maybe not.
Food sounds good.

Bye.

I lied.

Here is a picture of my piercing that I got back in November...

Better not copy me or I'll put a boot in yer ass.

6 kids | you worry too much

:: 2006 1 March :: 12.30pm

well god damn.....
after only one day at wicked ways i have already been replaced.....
just because i did one bad belly button and i wasent experenced(sp). i feel like i let myself down, no i let myself down and ben. i was so frickin proud of myself and i screwed up. well i need to focus on tattooing anyways. but like i said im still proud to say i was an employee of wicked ways which in my mind is one of the best tattoo shops in michigan. theres a tattoo convention coming up on march i think 15,16 and 17 or its 17,18and 19 but it dosent matter im gona go to that cause it will make me feel better. but yea now my life sucks again.....

brokenmentality

:: 2006 1 March :: 9.02am

me and keegan got a hampster sunday.

his name is Sushi and just might be the cutest thing i've ever seen. (exageration... but awwww, hes the cutest)

we had our leadership convention monday, and last friday i had to send out the award of excellence. im so relieved to have two major things lifted off my shoulders. i was majorly stressin. but its all good now.

now if only yearbook would go smoothly.

:: 2006 28 February :: 9.11pm

sarah, gus, and i are having a giant orgy right now. it is so cool.
i am so hot for them.
oh gosh.

i hit a racoon on the way.
we mourned all the way home.
poor poor racoon.
oh sweet thing.
it's fur was so soft and smooth.
he was such a smart little guy.

except that he ran out in front of the car.

so dumb.

it's been a bunch of months.
seriously.

tuwang

:: 2006 28 February :: 12.13pm

I think.. no I know that I am being slowly driven insane by my utter inability to do what I say I'm going to do... It's sort of like that "you can't do anything right" feeling, but with the conscienceness of knowing that it is infact your fault.

Damnit, I just did it again...

I'm thinking about chopping my hair all off, or letting it grow out. I'll let the democratic system decide this one... insert your votes.

I can see this making me feel bad about my looks...

9 kids | you worry too much

:: 2006 28 February :: 11.57am

well yesterday was my first day at wicked ways. it was pretty cool i guess. the place is soo soo clean. i think ill like it there but i have to get alot better at piercings if im gona stay so im gona need some people to practice on. i only work mondays, wednesdays, fridays and saturdays. i went to dinner with erica davy and ramiro after words which was fun to i havent eaten that much in a long time but yea other than that theres not much else that new so later.

:: 2006 27 February :: 10.55pm

hellz yeah

ok here's the skinny

I have a one ton dually f350 w/ flatbed that i'm gonna put sides on.....
a business name, an investor, and to top it all off my family is behind me on this

now i ask all of you to help me in encouraging your parents to buy my service over other garbage companies

here are some of my incentives to them using me instead of another company

My company will have nothing but friendly and timely service
We charge no more and no less than $ 13 dollars
Once a week pickup either mondays or fridays
None of the have it out by 4 am stuff
I do have a limit on the amount of bags to be set out but it is at 6 large bags
You will talk straight to the owner/worker no middle man
No contracts to service
Customer oriented service

How's that for a business plan BOOYAH

Joey

:: 2006 27 February :: 8.48am

I am so sick and tired of everyone not liking who I date. It doesnt matter who it is, no one likes him. You all find something wrong with him. You say I'm wasting my time. You say I can do better. That he's wrong for me. Well guess what, it's my life, and I will date who I please. I don't need permission from any of you. None of you know the whole story with Mike. And if you haven't met him, your opinion of him means nothing to me.

Yeah, he broke up with me and was a dick when he broke up with me. However, he had good reasoning. You would have done the same thing. But things are better now. We aren't back together. And we haven't completely worked through our problems, but we're getting there. What we are trying to get passed isn't easy. I will be surprised if we get back together.

The story: I got drunk and I did cheat on him. I tried to deny it, because I didn't want to hurt him. But I was hurting him more by denying it. "I was drunk" isn't a good excuse. It's not an excuse at all. But it's all I've got. I don't know why I did what I did. After drinking a 5th of Captain Morgan to myself, I shouldn't remember anything. I regret it. But there is nothing I can do to change it. I am ashamed of myself. I always said I would never cheat on someone because I know what it feels like to be cheated on.

If there's someone you should dislike, it should be me. Not him. He hasn't done anything wrong.

I'm lucky he's even talking to me. I'm lucky that we have the relationship we do right now. I don't deserve it. If he forgives me, I don't deserve it. I don't deserve anything, except his hatred. But he doesn't hate me, and I don't understand it.

9 kids | you worry too much

TonyP.

:: 2006 26 February :: 11.47pm

well i guess there is some gold in all this grey

i got a job at wicked ways tattoo and piercing in comstock park.
well i dont really want to say i have the job because im going there to work tommorow but he can say that im not really what hes looking for but i dont really care because i doubt that he'll say that.
but yea thats all i really wanted to say is that im the piercer at wicked ways.

:: 2006 26 February :: 9.50pm

I have a dream
Well let me see...... whats new..... I am gonna start a business, now what kind of business

My business flyer

Bam thats what kind

let your parents know..... oh and they have to ask for joey

thanx bye,
JOey

:new - well it is a garbage company for all those who didnt know what refuse meant jk. but yeah it wont be up and running for about two weeks i think. yeah um yeah

:updated picture that is my now actual flyer

13 kids | you worry too much

sugarmouse0587

:: 2006 26 February :: 1.21pm

i've gone completly off my gord.

but seriously? fucking sheets?

i feel like such a waste sometimes. and also a psycho. i don't know. i need to start voulunteering or something. or maybe declare my major. hmmpt.

i want to work this week. i fianally got Gabe and Adayja to start talking. And i got Paigen to do her tasks. uuuuggggggggg.

brokenmentality

:: 2006 26 February :: 12.03pm

yesterday started out pretty rough.... but fortunately got better.

we went and saw brokeback mountain... it was really good. keegan didnt like it. whatever.

then we went to oasis. that was nice.

and then this morning he wouldnt make me french toast because he has to complain and whine about everything. so i had frozen waffles. i just want to be treated like a princess like other girls. their boyfriends make them breakfast. mine wont even cook.

:: 2006 25 February :: 8.48pm

i hate to bitch and complain soo much but im gona and if your my friend youll listen.
i hate this, i feel like a ass hole. i feel like im a horriable person because im mad at my mom. it pisses me off to see how shes acting how shes milking this for all its worth, i feel like it might not be as bad as it really is. everyone is making her think shes completely helpless and is gona die and thats how shes treating it, its like shes giving up and that makes me mad as hell.
my car is a piece of shit, i was suppose to be getting a better car when i got ride of my thunderbird insted i got a car with a leaky gas tank and on top of that i get in a god damn accident.
i get my hopes up because of chad and getting a job at a shop but nope. once again i think im gona get a job and of course i get let down.
not to sound like a depressed emo kid or anything this is just how i feel......i feel like the whole god damn world is out to get me, i need a break.

Tails

:: 2006 25 February :: 7.24am

i hate the casino...they suck they are loud boring and make you lose 20 bucks LOL>!

:: 2006 25 February :: 1.01am

Well what can I do now. Nothing worse I think. oh well let me know what I can do. ttyl all bye JOey

:: 2006 24 February :: 4.57pm

well god damn
i was driving home from sand lake and some smart ass pulled out of the bank and just kinda waited for me to hit him.... my shoulders alittle sore and my car is too but its all good. the guy seemed nice, poor basterd only had the car for two days.