Today did not need to happen.
OMG! I am SO freaking annoyed. We found out who our coach was today for softball and just guess who it was, just fucking guess! Sam Huey's mom!! I dislike her with a passion!!! She doesn't even coach correctly. She has no clue what she's doing in most cases and she goes against what Mr. Smith says. But the thing that really really pisses me off is that Sam's mom told her that it was good she got the job cuz now sam can pitch!! No way! I'm not a real braggy person but I pitch so much better than Sam... most people really do. I love pitching... that and left field are my 2 very favorite postion. But I guess if Sam's pitching on the freshmen team that leaves a place for me to pitch on JV. Though I doubt I'll get on JV cuz I'm not really as good as a lot of other people. AGH!! I'm so annoyed right now. Oh and did I mention that she only got the job because mr. wagner turned it down? cuz that's true!!

Yea so swirl is in 2 dayz and I'm not done w/ my dress so it may end up being next years dress instead of this years... that would suck deeply.

Yea well. I'll stop boring you with my stupid problems now. Mucho amor and Rock on.

-J-

nothing at all... just life
Yea so... I'm deeply bored. there is nothing to do. I'm done w/ my annotated bib. and now I'm sitting here in the conputer lab just listening to my somewhat lovely classmates. Joyful. I feel bad for Justine, I looked at Tocatta today and it's majorly difficult. Even Mrs. VanDerHeide thinks it is and she's played the flute forever and a day. It's times like these when I'm very glad to not be in band.
So yea... how's life. I felt the need to update just cuz there's nothing else to do but now I don't know what to say. Swirl is in 4 days! But that could be bad cuz I haven't finished the dress that I'm making and I probably won't have time tonight to work on it because I've got softball conditioning after school. grr. Oh well, softball's fun.
Ya' know I bore you people w/ my problems and life stories everyday and you never complain. I love that. this site is awesome isn't it? I mean come on if you were just to whine and cry to one perticular person about life they'd tell you to shut up and go away but here you can say anything and people can't really complain cuz they choose to keep reading or to click the back button. That is just too too cool.

Well I don't know what else to say... I'd love to keep typing because that would give me something to do but when you have nothing to say it get's old. I wish I would drive. I don't even have my permit yet. Drivers ed starts March 1st but that seems so far away. agh, life.
I still can't believe that Jake's going to taiwan (i know i spelt it wrong don't get all snippidy about it). It's just freaky to think that a guy I met all of like 9 months ago is just gonna' leave. Odd isn't it. But it could possibly be good because then the people who are majorly obsessed w/ him *cough* steph *cough* will have a chance to get over him and meet another guy. Most likely one that has always been right in front of her that she could never see before because he got in the way. But yea... had to say that. And just because I said that doesn't mean that I don't still love Jake. He's the awesomest guy-type friend in the whole world!! So don't take that as an I-hate-Jake paragraph cuz it's not.

Well I suppose I'll go and stop boring you with my somewhat lovely life. Mucho amor rock on. Buh bye now.

-J-

surveyness

What is your favorite..
gum:	orbit
restaurant:	kelly's and or rosie's diner
drink:	dr.pepper
season:	summer
type of weather:	warm and sunny
emotion:	happiness
thing to do on a half day:	see a movie w/ friends or just sleep
late-night activity:	anything that involves partying
sport:	softball of course
city:	Cedar Springs
store:	Rue 21
When was the last time you..
cried:	I don't remember not too long ago
played a sport:	yesterday
laughed:	about 2 minutes ago
hugged someone:	earlier today
kissed someone:	when i left for school
felt depressed:	last week
felt elated:	umm... i don't know
felt overworked:	yesterday
faked sick:	not a clue... i rarely do that
lied:	probably today but i don't know exactly
What was the last..
word you said:	there
thing you ate:	an ice cream bar
song you listened to:	every 6 seconds by o town
thing you drank:	canada dry
place you went to:	school
movie you saw:	freaky friday
movie you rented:	freaky friday and alex and emma
concert you attended:	oh lordy does the youth group all nighter count? cuz sons of caleb played there.
Who was the last person you..
hugged:	allie, cherie, or katie... i don't remember
cried over:	corbin, when he passed away
kissed:	does family count? if so then my mommy but if not then Jake
danced with:	Jake
shared a secret with:	ha. the people on my bus... but it's not a secret anymore.
had a sleepover with:	ariana
called:	umm... too long ago to remember, i'm not a phone person really.
went to a movie with:	steph, mom, grandma and great grandma
saw:	my dad
were angry with:	my parental units
couldn't take your eyes off of:	ha. Rob.... I hate when survey ask evil questions like that
obsessed over:	probably Rob... stop asking these things damnit
Have you ever..
danced in the rain:	yep
kissed someone:	yep
done drugs:	no frickin' way
drank alcohol:	nope
slept around:	hell no, i am a virgin thank you very much
partied 'til the sun came up:	oh yes
had a movie marathon:	yeppers
gone too far on a dare:	no
spun until you were immensely dizzy:	oh yes lol it's the first legal high don't ya' know
taken a survey quite like this before:	not really... the others didn't ask evil questions!!

The Favorites, Have-You-Evers.. and Last Times! Oh, the variety! brought to you by BZOINK!

!~!Happiness!~!
Okay I admit it I like Rob. Are you happy now? You should be!! lol. Well I feel better now. Guess I'll talk to you all later. Mucho amor. Love to the family.
Rock on!

-Jacqui Jean-

Mucho amor!! LIBERO!

General Information
State your full name.:	Jacquelyn Jean DeFouw
Do you like your name?:	yes i do... well most of the time
If you could change it, would you, and to what?:	I don't know if I would by choice but if I had to I'd make it Sid... that's my nickname
Tell me your age.:	14 but only for a month longer
Relationships/Love
What do you want your wedding to be like?:	I don't know and I don't care... it's just a wedding
Tell me the perfect setting for when you have sex.:	don't know haven't thought about it much
Have you ever been in love?:	yes
Are you in love?:	no
Your opinions
Rock music is..:	awesome, classic rock too!
Pop music is..:	somewhat dumb but can be cool
Your thoughts on anarchy:	whatever you want
Do you believe in God?:	Yes, he's the most important part of my life
Favorites
Type of music:	Punky rock, classic rock, and country
Band:	I don't know... Fuzzy Logic
Food:	donuts and or French fries
Thing to do:	Play softball or be w/ my friends
Thing to say:	something sarcastic
Person to talk to:	a lot of people... the people on my bus can sometimes be cool
Subject in school:	algebra... it's pretty easy
Parent:	My mom, she's not as strict
Color, and why:	Red, hello I am from Cedar
Author:	Tom Clancy
Book:	i don't know... probably some little kids book, they're cool!!
Candy:	anything chocolate
Last, just random questions and things about you.
Do you like yourself?:	sometimes
What do you like about yourself?:	That i can basically talk to everyone w/o feeling stupid
What dont you like about yourself?:	i am a loser...
Can you play any instruments?:	i play the drums... drum set type not like in band or anything
Are you depressed?:	not really
Have you ever been suicidal?:	no... death is not a solution
Do you do drugs?:	that's wrong of course not
Do you drink alcohol?:	nope...
Do you miss anyone right now? Who?:	i dunno. I kinda' miss my grandma... she lives in California i rarely see her
What do you want to do with your life?:	I want to live it and see where it takes me
What's something you know you want to accomplish before you die?:	i want to ride in an airplane... i'm scared as hell to fly
Do you think that I love you?:	sure... whatever you want
You best, because I do.

About Yourself brought to you by BZOINK!

brrrrrr!!!
It is SO cold in here. Jeezz... oh pete. The youth group party was so amazingly cool!! It rocked. We played dutch blitz, went tubing, ate pizza, and sang worship songs. We had a service and they said anyone who wanted to see everyone in Cedar Springs touched by God should go up and pray with the Pastors and everyone from First Baptist was up there w/ Josh. It was so cool. I'm glad I could share that moment w/ those people.

I can't believe all my band friends are leaving in only 10 days! wow. NO! I need them all. I hated when Steph went on the trip 2 years ago... I was so lonely. She's the only one I can hang w/ during mid-winter break really. Yes I know that many people think that me and Steph hate eachother at times (which is true don't get me wrong) but she is my best friend and visa-versa. I'll just have to make sure to get some bonding in w/ my other friends during that time I suppose, but I'll still miss them all deeply.

SWIRL IS IN 6 DAYS!!! YAY! I'm so deeply excited! Dances are my thing. You get to party w/ friends, go out to eat w/o the family and (what else) dance! 3 of my favortite things!
Well I must be off now... ttyl. mucho amor rock on buh bye!

GO PATRIOTS!!

-J-

"I'm leavin' on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again"
I'm SO excited about tonight. Sorry but I just can't stop thinking about it! It's gonna' rock so hard! lol. I'm being a dork again aren't I? Yea... oops hehe.
Matt is now 17... I feel so deeply young right now. Ellie turned 17 Wednesday and Jake's been 17 since December. Larissa Wagner's 17 and Herera is almost 17. Kayla, Kate, Allison, and Cherie are already 15. I'm still 14. Gosh that seems young. But there are only 49 days until I will join the world of 15-year-olds. Yipee! lol. And only 12 days after that I'll be able to get my permit and then in June I'll take segment 2 and in March next year I'll be able to DRIVE!! ha. rock on.

Anyway. I'm so bored... all they have on TV are reruns of shows that I never liked the first ten times they were on. Oye Vaye.

Have you guys ever heard the song by Relient K called Mood Rings? It's SO awesome. And I agree. We should get emotional people just in general, not even necissarily just girls, to wear mood rings. That would so rock.

Well I must be off now, I shall talk w/ you later. Mucho amor, Rock on.
-J-

"I'll be there for you... when the rain starts to fall"
Okay lovelies, I wrote a poem a while ago when I was deeply pissed off at the world and in the very scary and deep portion of my soul. So here it is... if you don't promise not to laugh then you're not aloud to read it!

...deadly poison...

Dislike builds up inside of me
hatred seeps out through my words
you don't know me... but we're the same
two people trapped in a world where no one cares
no one understands the anger
they blame music or not enough sleep
I blame them
the drama queens
the snobs
the "too good for this" types
They call me a poser
an angry soul
they don't know me
they can't see themselves as I see them
I see sad people
people who drag others down in order to get up
And the hatred continues to poison me
it seeps into my soul
and I am lost.

Thank you... Thank you very much.

So did you hate it? Was it really bad or good?

Anyway... I met my goal of the week! It was to meet at least two people and I did it. I met a sophmore who's name is Eric and the new girl, Katie Link.

Okay so ya' know that surveyish thing that the freshmen class gave today where they'll match you up with those people of the opposite sex who are most compatible w/ you? Yea it was silly, but so fun!! The only question that I deeply didn't like was the kissing one. When they asked if you kissed w/ your eyes closed, opened, peeking at times, or didn't pay attention. I hated that... I've only ever kissed one guy (yea yea wipe the shocked look off your face... it is possible) and that guy I kissed because we were dared to do so. Not that either of us disliked it in anyway but that's not the point! The point is... how the hell am I suppose to know how I kiss when I've only done so once!!?? Agh. But anyway, just thought I'd mention that.
People can be really stupid... they think they own the world and everyone in it. I really don't like that but I don't know cuz sometimes people are completely awesome! I just don't know... but I suppose if I did life would be boring! Well ttyl, buh bye.
Mucho amor Rock on
-J-

SNOW DAY!!!
You gotta' love those days when you just barely wake up and get to go right back to sleep! They rock. What could be a better surprise?
Yea so... Allison is gonna' be beaten! I told her how my mom thinks that I should go to swirl w/ Caleb (who happens to be my friend) and she went over to Caleb and told him that he should go to the dance w/ me! Stupid me... when will I learn not to trust people! agh. But hey what cha' gonna' do. Allie's my firend and I love her.
Ya' know... since the basketball game tomorrow is away I need something to do... maybe I'll go see a movie. That sounds fun. I'll drag shelly and some other people along and we'll all go see some movie. Yay, I have planage!
I want to go play in the snow... go tubing or sledding or play snow football, anything really!! Next Friday I'm going to the basketball game w/ Katie Smith and then we're going w/ her youth group to hang out and play snow football on the feild. Then we're gonna' go sleding and have a bonfire. Then we'll chill at a different church and play video games, eat pizza, and just party. It goes from 10pm on Friday until 7am on Saturday!! How frickin' sweet is that? So cool.
I should propably go and stop boring you now... but I leave you with an inspirational quote that I read yesterday.

"What you do speaks so loud that I can't hear what you say!"

Well mucho amor Rock on.

-J-

Hey guys, I know a lot of people say that Good Charlette is a band full of posers and everything but they have a song called Hold On and I think it sends an awesome message to people so here it is enjoy:

this world,
this world is cold
but you dont,
you dont have to go

your feelin' sad
your feelin' lonely
and no one seems to care
your mothers gone
and your father hits you
this pain you cannot bare

[chorus]
but we all bleed the same way as you do
and we all have the same things to go through
hold on if you feel like letting go
hold on it gets better then you know
[chorus ends]

your days,
you say there way too long
and your nights,
you cant sleep at all
hold on

and your not sure what your waiting for
but you dont want to know more
and your not sure what your looking for
but you dont want to no more

[chorus]

dont stop looking your one step closer
dont stop searching its not over
hold on

what are you looking for?
what are you waiting for?
do you know what your doin to me?
go ahead
what are you waiting for?

hold on if you feel like letting go
hold on it gets better then you know
dont stop looking your one step closer
dont stop searching its not over
hold on

if you feel like letting go
hold on it gets better then you know
hold on

love ya' rock on
-J-

I'ma dick I'm addicted to you.
Guess what?! I got two new CD's today!! Simple Plan: no pads, no helmets... just balls, and Relient K: Two lefts don't make a right... but three do. I'm soo happy!!

Anyway... how was the half day for ya'll?? Mine was alright. I hung out w/ my grandma and Steph. Not exactly the funnest thing but it was pretty cool. I'm gonna' hang w/ my grandma again tomorrow and we're gonna' go rent some movies and chill at her house. Fun stuff.

So is there a dance tomorrow after the game or no?? I hope so! Oh and I talked to Mr. Reed about taking Drivers Ed in March and he was cool w/ it. He said drivings important so we'd work around it for softball. Yay rock on!
Ya' know... we're thinking about redoing the hang out portion of our room this pretty soon and I just don't know what I want it to look like. I know I want it to have Red and Black in it... they're my two favorite colors don't ya' know... but Stephy likes bright colors and Hawaiin (sp??) things so I just don't know. We definetly need an area for my drum set and our keyboard but we also need more storage and a place to watch TV. Too HARD I tell you! lol. This shoud be interesting don't ya' think?! heh. Give me your suggestions here people... I certainly need them!
Have a lovely day. Mucho amor, Rock on!
-J-

Nothin' at all!
Yea so I'm bored... no softball tonight. GRR on that. But w/e. Ya' know what sucks?! Drivers Ed is no longer gonna' be offered at our school as of after March and I'm signed up so that parts okay but it interferes w/ softball badly! AGH. Stupid people. Oh and here's my thing, on these days when it snows and the roads are bad why is that the schools theory is "You can die on the way to or from school and so can your family members who drop you off or pick you up but HEAVEN FORBID that you get killed on the way to an extra curricular activity!!!" lol. Dumb people.

So what lovely things are happening this weekend? I'm goin' to the basketball game w/ lil' pfeif. I want there to be a dance but IDK if there will be cuz... well ya' never know w/ our school. Ya' know I think Mickey D's stole I'm lovin' it from this Christian song that I'm listenin' to right now... seriously! They might have... ya' never know....

lalala... I'm bored. Do you guys like Fuzzy Logic?? I LOVE THEM!! ha. I know I'm a dork but still. *sings* "You steal my heart, you steal my mind I still can't answer the question why... you love me, just the way that you do oo ooo" *stops singing* hehe awesome song. Well I must be off now g2g buh bye. Mucho amor. ROCK ON!!
-J-

Life.
Guys I gotta' tell ya' I am having one of those reflecting days. A day that so well goes w/ poems like "Sonnet 30" and "The Road Not Taken". It really does. You see I was up in my room looking through a photo album that my grandma gave me for Christmas which is filled w/ pictures of steph in band and me playing softball and awards night last year... just tonz of awesome memories. While looking through it I started to miss the times that I had last year and earlier this year. So I decided that I would make a list of some of the best times from 8th grade and so far in 9th grade. But before I do so I have to tell you that Sam Gould is right, though we all express ourselfs in our journals don't let what you say in vain here effect your attitude towardpeople in school or in extra curriculars... it's just not worth it.
Anyway... on to the list!!

My Favorite Memories!!
-Lightbulb (that was hilarious)
-Cedar Point
-Last years Collage concert
-Awards night in 8th grade
-Shaner League Softball (except one specific game but these are suppose to be GOOD memories so we'll forget that!)
-Northview league softball (Go Coach Smithy!!)
-The first day of school this year.
-Homecoming
-The 8th grade dance
-Football games
-new friends coming and mixing w/ old ones
-dances after football games
-Pithching camp w/ my favorite Kitty (hehe)
-meeting my lovely new friend Robert
-bowling w/ my core last year
-making fun of Rouse and VanHamburger
-becoming Cupcake Hitler ;)
-pretty much anytime when all the fun people ride the bus
-tennis season
-riding the heated and airconditioned short bus!!
-learning to play euchre (finally!!)
-playing phase 10 during biology
-smilie faces on our faces at C.P. last year
-sleep-overs
-Adam's pool partys
-the lake at Larissa and Ariana's
-tassel fights at work
-getting to know "preps" who work w/ me and actually liking them!
-the Jenison show for Steph when she and Ellie dragged me (literally) over and made me sit by the band people.
-Meeting Jake... I like having a guy friend
-becoming a tad more rebellious
-Cherie's mom having little Joshy
-Getting my Falcon
-but mostly moments w/ my friends that will be forever inbedded in my head because of the wonderful things that have happened.

Mucho amor, rock on.
-me-