christini
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2004 15 April :: 7.22pm
sigh. yeah. things, suck. i guess. i dont feel like re-telling all my recent occurances, so, theyre on livejournal. username _asyousleep
have anice day.
like nobody's
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alwaysfalling
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2004 14 April :: 10.58pm
:: Mood: restless
:: Music: rooney
yeah, right about now, i feel like driving through those mountains in california, thanks rooney.
my dad thinks i am going to bed soon. yeah right. i slept for 3 hours when i got home, i can stay up for another 3 hours. doing what? who knows, i'm not ready to go to bed. tomorrow is thursday, this week seems to be going by relatively fast.
i can't wait for summer. first i gotta find a job first and a hot boy to hang out with.
<3
3 watching |
like nobody's
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playmate101
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2004 14 April :: 10.24pm
:: Mood: ditzy
:: Music: josie, your my source of most frustration.
kayli... that song is in my head! lol 850,000 retard points for Carrrrrrr etc. lmao
mmm chem test
mmm ap art hist test
studied all night.
break. fast. haha. back to work.
kiwi & pineapple, uhoh.
how i love morone's class with my brown friends. <3 anand & pretam.
PUNCH ME!
Anand doing my SRI for me... thank u sir.
Mason playing peekaboo... niiiice.
Neil trying to force me to fail my tests for tomorrow. thats his encouragement to get me to go to Park Vista. <3 i'm coming, soon enough.
1: u know if u blow in ur cup... it sounds like a plane is above u.
2: there's a plane in the air... above us.
{silly me, i feel... BLONDE}
i think morone makes us all feel like his dumb bitches. and to think... a pop quiz is going to help us.... HOW?! i didn't even recall the 4 questions, or the definition of duplicity (not stating what the title states) until after the quiz. and... i did read Slaughter House Five. and i still failed that test. 38pt. + 18 pt curve (supposively) = 56% niiiice. damn, homie. i hate it. i can't wait to see what that damn 10pg research paper grade was. ugh!
we need to get these Economics notes down people. let's post that plan tomorrow. lots of work, major extra credit.
MoFo1788: hey ur skipin one day wit me
MoFo1788: and sum friends
MoFo1788: ok?
MoFo1788: ok
.... really... i love how i can get my yes or no in there, in less than 2 seconds. <3 ur the best, moo. quack.
bed time. good luck. xOx
p.s. ellen, holl-er, i'll help ya with ur journal. we'll make it PuRRR-Ti.
like nobody's
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boricuababy
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2004 14 April :: 4.37pm
:: Mood: ehh
:: Music: i pray-amanda perez
"life's tough but i'm tougher"..
being grounded sucks ass!!!
1 watching |
like nobody's
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playmate101
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2004 13 April :: 9.22pm
:: Mood: content
just to tell u... how i feel.
if u are keeping woohu... and plan on giving me the money.. the last day i'm taking it is on friday... because i'm making the money order on saturday <3
s0o i've talked to my dad about leaving atlantic... he said i can... whenever i am ready. i'm going to try out for Park Vista Cheerleading and see how those results come out. if they're good... tah tah atlantic, if they are worse than varsity... imma have to figure out a way to stay at atlantic without being in ib. but i don't find happiness in atlantic. these last 2 weeks have been better... but... its not how i want it. i've got goals, and a plan.... i need time to manage everything... and ib isn't helping me, its just a hassle. score... i'm psyched, but knowing that danielle isn't coming with me... and i won't be in the same school as her... makes me feel so.... empty. just the thought. which makes me not even want to think about it. what's a girl to do?
im talking to my home fry jose & just got done talking to alex, so imma go now. peace homes. xoxo
5 watching |
like nobody's
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spinoangel
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2004 13 April :: 8.10pm
:: Mood: busy
:: Music: konstantine.. cant stop
i feel like i'm in a tornado. and all i'm running on is adrenaline right now. i feel so busy, like i always have something to do. i guess i do. all this stuff is so overwhelming, but i ... i dont know. i feel tired. but then i feel obsessive and then i need to find something else to do. i'm such a freak.
APRIL 15th ART SHOW. 5:30-7:30. come.
i think i'm going to find some more stuff to do...
random things to say
it's really hard to let go of someone.
it's really hard to see someone let go of you.
it's really hard not to fall into the same mistakes.
it's hard to sacrifice your wellbeing for someone else.
it's easy to love you.
it's to dying in another's arms
and why i had to try it.
and if this is what it takes to lie in my mistakes,
and live with what i did to you.
and all the things i put you through.
they'll never hurt you like i do.
this is to a boy who got into my head
with all the pretty things he did.
you know you keep me up in bed.
this is to a boy who got into my head
with all these fucked up things i did.
maybe you can keep me up in bed.
did you know i've missed you?
god, i miss you.
1 watching |
like nobody's
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playmate101
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2004 12 April :: 6.33am
:: Mood: light headed
:: Music: all falls down:: kanye west
zero to none.
there needs to be a song that i could listen to everytime stupid shit like this happens. cause i really could kick him in the ass right now... if i had the energy.
i can't see out of my right eye, i'm so light headed that when i LAY DOWN i'm still dizzy, my eyes are so red from crying, and my throat is scratchy from screaming for him to stay away & just go to work. i don't think i've ever felt this beautiful before.
so the day starts: 5am- take a shower, blow dry the hair, get dressed. mommy said last night that she would wake up because she wants to do my makeup... how sweet of her. only when i got her up, i had to go. so i was just gonna do it, but my dad's voice, screaming at me that i had to go (which i already was aware of) scared the me so bad that while i was doing the eyeliner thing, the black line ended up across my face, like when someone hits ur elbow when ur writing. so i tried cleaning it off & hurrying up, but... daddy just bitched & bitched. finally, he said, "find ur own fucking ride, i'm leaving." so the end was... he left, came back to bitch at me some more while i layed on my bed and felt the spit from his nasty mouth on my face... so i covered it with my blanket next to me... and he bitched at me for "missing the bus" which technically... he's the one who is always late because he has to gather his paintball shit and everything into the car every morning... which is just bull fucking honkey shit. but i don't know... his words are so abusive. after he is done screaming at me... i feel my body weaken and i feel like my left leg has been broken, my arms bruised, my face scratched, and maybe a few fingers chopped off. its like... thats what he wants to do to me, but because i am part of his family... he CAN'T. thats all that is saving me. but i don't see how he is willing to come back again & offer to take me to the bus when he just bitched about not wanting to chase it & i'm crying so badly that i don't find the idea of being alone with him in a car for 10 minutes... of any comfort. and as far as i am concerned... he plays no important part of my life... i pay for everything i need or want, i go out whenever the fuck i please & do whatever the fuck i want, i take on more than he ever has, i'm paying for fucking college, so all he has to do is work for my brother and sister. mommy can support herself too. hello! o well. this world is crazy... and i'm just glad that i spend it with my family & boyfriend, & friends.
speaking of boyfriend... haha, today is 6 months. can u believe it.... 6 months. this boy is everything to me. if i ain't got u, then everything.... means nothing. <3 "think i fell in love with the 8th world wonder"
i'm out... might as well take advantage that i have time to eat breakfast. yay.
4 watching |
like nobody's
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alwaysfalling
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2004 11 April :: 10.27pm
:: Mood: restless
:: Music: phantom planet - california
saturday and sunday
saturday ended up to be great. first, did errands with my dad since he wanted to see me drive. got home and he was like, "i'm done driving for the day," cause i asked him about taking me and bri. well bri and i definitely did not want to sit at home that night so we figured that bowling could work. Got people together and went. It was fun, all the dancing, dorkiness... good times.
Sunday: Happy Easter!
Went to church when i woke up, came home and Patrick (cousin that lives in SF) and his girlfriend Kelly were here. They ate breakfast with us and we talked about Asia. They invited me to come spend time with them when they move to Singapore this summer. I'm definitely going there, after high school graduation, Asia, here i come. Kelly, she's from Singapore, is really nice and I hope she becomes a member of our family. She said to any of you IB people interested in going to UC Berkely, that she thinks you should re-consider because their funding is going down and it's becoming not that great of a school. So after breakfast, they left and we left to go to Melbourne to my Grandma's house. I love going there, but today I just felt like the black sheep. My cousin, Megan, is mad at me still from last weekend and she gave me the silent treatment the whole time. I think that's what mostly made me feel like it though. *shrug* Her Mom was like, "she'll get over it when she needs help moving out of her dorm." heh. i'm not helping, the day before i have oral surgery. that's it, that was easter. hope yours was wonderful.
see you all tomorrow. grrr... 5 day week, with tests. i hate it.
<3
like nobody's
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spinoangel
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2004 11 April :: 11.33am
:: Mood: content
:: Music: globes and maps
they didnt play this. but thats okay.
an interesting and awesome memory. i love you girls.
what i did not like about the night:
1) the people who WOULDNT "step back". instead they stepped forward.
2) the huge girls who bad-mouthed emo music/concerts.
3) not being able to hug my christine more and enjoy the music with her.
what i loved about the night:
1) making a lasting memory with ashley before she leaves us.
2) rockin out and wanting to be on that stage someday.
3) its always nice to hear something corporate live.
4) being so happy, i wasn't able to cry.
5) the lead singer of yellowcard playing with his shirt off... damn.
6) enjoying most of the concert with a good view AND lots of space. we're so smart, ashley.
it was just great. i will always be willing to see something corporate again. a lot of time was spent WAITING for people to stop pushing so they both didnt play for that long. but it's okay. <3333 i loved it. loved it. LOVED it.
missed our wonderful katherine who was meant to be there.
the only time i got sad was around the end of konstantine when he sang "i miss you".... yeah.
According to the Which Something Corporate Song Are You? Test...
I am RUFIO.
Find out which band you are!
1 watching |
like nobody's
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playmate101
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2004 11 April :: 9.50am
:: Mood: loved
:: Music: EvEr-BoDy In Da CluB GeTTin'....
TIPSY.
last night was lovely too.
jess, danielle b, danielle g, brittany, shane, jb, emma, and me all went bowling but we didn't set this up until 9pm, and then 9:30 we finally left home. <3
in the car, i got a call from jonah, i didn't know what to do, i was so happy! so i... intelligently, answered the phone. i practically hurt his ear, but that released everything that was stuck inside me... all the love i couldn't give him. he accused me of not being friends with alex, but... i am, because i don't have anything against her & she's sweet. but, we got to the bowling alley, and i needed to get off the phone with him, so, i did. ha.
in the bowling alley, we got everyone together, said our "hellos" and hung out. got our shoes, and paid for our game.... which brittany jipped me $12 for... but its something that always happens. nothing new, thats why i always hated stuff like that. but it was well worth the time spent together. everyone dancing to the music... scoring zero's on every other turn, laughing at random things... <3 this is the life i love.
seTTin' uP Da GaME, G.
Fo' RiZZle
SiStErLy Love <3
Cha, DeFiNiTeLy WaNTed ShAne'S bOOtY
WoRdS CaN'T eVen BeGiN To DeSCRiBE ThiS piC. <3 on OlD TiMEs
2 CooL 4 ThE DiGi CaM.
KiDs, uSaGe oF DruGs MakE u LooK lIke ThiS eVeN if U STOP uSinG thEm.
FriEndS 4eVEr 2.1.12 (sHanE's eYes R ShuT)
EXpReSSiNG LovE 4 ThE VoDkA haha <3 ya Jess
STaTe U ReaCH AfTeR DriNkiN ThE SuBStAnCe iN tHe Cup: TiPsY lol
BriTTanY & EmmA BBFL xox
came home at 12. scared my bro to get the front door open... +shrug+ i forgot my house keys lol <3
3 watching |
like nobody's
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alwaysfalling
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2004 10 April :: 1.36pm
:: Mood: contemplative
:: Music: ben folds - annie waits
yeah i definitely believe that a dream is a wish your heart makes.
weekend is turning out to be not so crappy. thank goodness i got better. Went to Palm Beach yesterday and beached a little and then hung out at this house with my 2nd cousins. Then went to the movies last night with Tina and saw "The Girl Next Door." I like that movie. Today I might go to the beach again and then doing something with Briana tonight. Grandma's house tomorrow.
<3
1 watching |
like nobody's
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playmate101
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2004 10 April :: 8.40am
:: Mood: accomplished
last night was all i was looking for. (except if neil could have stopped himself from throwing me in the bushes) lol
i pretty much spent the day sleeping, and neil told me i was going to alex galani's house. now, being that neil always makes up my schedule, i went. jb picked me up, we went to pick up logan, met his parents and his dog, (which isn't really a dog because its the size of a mouse but it is so cute) then headed over to alex's house. logan grabbed alcohol from his house, stuck it in his pants which turned out super funny. at alex's, neil was starting junk with the 8th graders across the street, although alex & i were in the house. jb was knocking over things on the walls in alex's house, and neil was being amused by the fake geese under the table. we went outside too & neil decided to eat a coconut... i didn't know the stuff inside a coconut was called "meat". o and neil threw my ass in the bushes. i almost forgot about that one. jb said there were thorns in the bushes, however, i didn't feel any. but, i ended up sleeping over alex's house. my parents kept questioning me, "ARE U SURE UR SLEEPING AT ALEX'S AND NOT NEIL'S??" they were trying to catch me in a lie... haha, o well, that didn't work because i REALLY did sleep over alex's. she's a real sweetheart, we talked for like 3 hours last night. we definitely have to hang out again because... we relate pretty well. anyways, i have to go get ready for work <3 ttyl xoxo
p.s. i'm still collecting money for woohu, so anyone who wants to pay for it, go ahead and hand over the $2... i'mma send it in this friday (April 16th)
2 watching |
like nobody's
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boricuababy
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2004 9 April :: 12.22pm
:: Mood: up
:: Music: confessions-usher
do i really wanna keep woohu??..
hmm..still thinkin bout it...lol..so wussup guys???..three day weekend!!! HOLLA!! hopefully i can do sumthin..it sucks bcuz im grounded..i hafta get un-grounded fast!!! i hate sittin at home wid nutten to do..well tha rest of tha year is gonna be madd busy for me..these last couple of weeks are packed wid a whole bunch of cheer stuff..itz koo tho..im excited bout it..we're doin alotta fundraisers..so help out ur ATL cheerleaders!!!!!!!! lol..sameen cracks me up: "why tha hell aren't tha cookies already baked??"..haha.."their versatile!"..dat wuz funny..so how wuz yesterday??..lets see..first hour: amara went delirious on me and kept pokin tha back of my head until mr. morone wuz like "STOP PICKIN ON HER!!"..lol..he def. scared me there..oh and wid dat weird ass poem he read to us..crystal had us crackin up wid tha faces she wuz makin..second hour: sameen tried teachin us wha we're learnin..yea im still confused..lol..and mary ellen beat me to all tha cookie dough customers..lol..fourth hour: BORING..i didnt finsih my test...lunch: talked to my bryan pretty much tha whole time..:D..and carlos butt bounced me half way across tha cafeteria..but me and amy got him back..lmao..sixth hour: me sam n carlos talked bout all tha old school nick shows and tha cartoons we used to like back in tha day..(ninja turtles, x-men, captain planet, all that, pete and pete, hey dude, are u afraid of the dark, clarissa explains it all, adventures of alex mack, and our all time favorite: KENAN AND KEL)..lmao..wow dat wuz a great convo.."who lovvvesss orrange sodaa?? kel lovvvesss orrange sodaa!!! i do i do i do o0o0o0o0o.."
5 watching |
like nobody's
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playmate101
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2004 9 April :: 10.27am
:: Mood: gloomy
our memories are long gone from here. left in the bushes, they've been cut down to the size of a tree stomp. can u see what life is going to be like if u stay on this concrete path for the next ten years? can u see the clouds above ur head, and ur high school acquaintences with their major success? do u feel the longing for making new memories because the old ones are of no meaning to the friends u feel for?
i want to go play with the little kids and babysit and get straight A's. i don't want to work and frustrate myself with classes that i'm taking to impress colleges when i can't even take on the work. i want to have close friends who i can call at anytime during the day, and right there... we are out the door to go see each other and the rest of the day's boredom is cured. i want to know that i can walk outside and go to the mall. i wish i could be able to have billions of names & numbers of people in my cell phone that i met one night while hanging out and can randomly call them 3 weeks from now and just be able to hang out with them. i want to take my camera and snap pictures of crazy moments and then have everyone complain about how bad they looked, or that we took so many pictures that the flash made them go blind. i want to be able to take all the money in my name and spend it on improving myself, green eyes... laser scar removal. i want to take my hard earned money and blow it on clothes and food, and buy everyone with me a new outfit or 2 and take them out to dinner. i wanna have those inside jokes that i can laugh with friends about like crazy, and we can die in laughter over the phone for endless hours and have pillow fights or sit on the back porches of anyone's house and make so much noise that we have to run because the cops are coming. i want to come in at 3 am and be wasted and hit my head on the toilet seat while my friend watches so we can laugh about it in at night. (morning and afternoon i would be hung over) i want to re paint my room whenever i want and buy whatever i want to satisfy me. i want to make friends who will be there for me throughout the rest of my life, and make memories that we will always remember, even if we end up having alheimzers and have to make a scrapbook in our teenage years so we don't forget.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
children, this isn't a sense of depression, so don't think i am so down. its just what i have been feeling the last few days, and the things i have noticed that are taking change are hitting me a little harder everyday. i realize how far away i am to getting more best friends. and i realize how far away i am from old friends and how if i wanted to laugh about something a friend did... i couldn't... because i... don't have any. i mean... there are all u IB people who i love to death, but... look at how many people are fake. how many people shit talk. how many people sit and do homework on weekends instead of make plans with each other to hang out with. don't any one of u ever wish that we can hang out... outside of school? like... ALL of us. just hanging out. making memories. maybe its because i've seen all these Roosevelt middle kids and how good their friendships are... but its because they were all willing to take chances and do stupid stuff. u think anyone in ib would do that considering ur scared of disobeying ur parents, or upsetting them? think. life is great if we make it that way. nobody is ever going to be a perfect child or student or success, so just chill out and enjoy this. because the more u go out and have fun, the more people u meet, and the more chances u will have to get to the top.
i have no clue where any of this is going... so imma stop here.
i just wanna life, with u in it.
3 more days 1o.12.o3
o by the way... does the word "body" consist of Head to toe, or like... ur features (muscles, butt etc.). leave ur opinion in comments please. someone and i are having a discussion of this... and we need to see who is right lol. <3
16 watching |
like nobody's
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spinoangel
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2004 9 April :: 9.12am
:: Mood: weak-hearted
:: Music: kelly clarkson - "i surrender"
help me not to surrender
=*( i can't... i'm just so....
i can't find the little mermaid to cheer me up. is it a sign?
when i decide that it's done, when i decide i'm finally done with all this unnecessary nonsense and feelings, i go to bed and my heart decides to dream that it's not over. i just had the most movie-like dream. and it almost hurt feeling in love again. it felt so real. and in this dream, i was so passionately willing to fall back. and it's just not right. i don't understand. if a dream is a wish your heart makes, does that mean my heart still loves? does it mean its just trying to suppress it all? i don't know. i am so confused. and i don't understand what i'm saying or why i'm saying it. i just wish things were simple. and i wish i wasn't so confused with myself and with other people.
this is exactly how i acted in the dream:
*there's so much life i've left to live,
and this fire's burning still.
what would happen if they ever knew
i'm in love with you?
cuz i'd surrender everything,
to feel the chance to live again.
i reach to you. i know you can feel it too.
i surrender. every night getting longer
and this fire's getting stronger
i'll swallow my pride and i'll be alive.
did you hear my call? i surrender all.
i reach to you, i know you can feel it too
i surrender.*
2 watching |
like nobody's
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