that is so retro

:: 2004 9 April :: 12.22pm
:: Mood: up
:: Music: confessions-usher

do i really wanna keep woohu??..
hmm..still thinkin bout it...lol..so wussup guys???..three day weekend!!! HOLLA!! hopefully i can do sumthin..it sucks bcuz im grounded..i hafta get un-grounded fast!!! i hate sittin at home wid nutten to do..well tha rest of tha year is gonna be madd busy for me..these last couple of weeks are packed wid a whole bunch of cheer stuff..itz koo tho..im excited bout it..we're doin alotta fundraisers..so help out ur ATL cheerleaders!!!!!!!! lol..sameen cracks me up: "why tha hell aren't tha cookies already baked??"..haha.."their versatile!"..dat wuz funny..so how wuz yesterday??..lets see..first hour: amara went delirious on me and kept pokin tha back of my head until mr. morone wuz like "STOP PICKIN ON HER!!"..lol..he def. scared me there..oh and wid dat weird ass poem he read to us..crystal had us crackin up wid tha faces she wuz makin..second hour: sameen tried teachin us wha we're learnin..yea im still confused..lol..and mary ellen beat me to all tha cookie dough customers..lol..fourth hour: BORING..i didnt finsih my test...lunch: talked to my bryan pretty much tha whole time..:D..and carlos butt bounced me half way across tha cafeteria..but me and amy got him back..lmao..sixth hour: me sam n carlos talked bout all tha old school nick shows and tha cartoons we used to like back in tha day..(ninja turtles, x-men, captain planet, all that, pete and pete, hey dude, are u afraid of the dark, clarissa explains it all, adventures of alex mack, and our all time favorite: KENAN AND KEL)..lmao..wow dat wuz a great convo.."who lovvvesss orrange sodaa?? kel lovvvesss orrange sodaa!!! i do i do i do o0o0o0o0o.."

5 . | <3

:: 2004 9 April :: 10.27am
:: Mood: gloomy

our memories are long gone from here. left in the bushes, they've been cut down to the size of a tree stomp. can u see what life is going to be like if u stay on this concrete path for the next ten years? can u see the clouds above ur head, and ur high school acquaintences with their major success? do u feel the longing for making new memories because the old ones are of no meaning to the friends u feel for?

i want to go play with the little kids and babysit and get straight A's. i don't want to work and frustrate myself with classes that i'm taking to impress colleges when i can't even take on the work. i want to have close friends who i can call at anytime during the day, and right there... we are out the door to go see each other and the rest of the day's boredom is cured. i want to know that i can walk outside and go to the mall. i wish i could be able to have billions of names & numbers of people in my cell phone that i met one night while hanging out and can randomly call them 3 weeks from now and just be able to hang out with them. i want to take my camera and snap pictures of crazy moments and then have everyone complain about how bad they looked, or that we took so many pictures that the flash made them go blind. i want to be able to take all the money in my name and spend it on improving myself, green eyes... laser scar removal. i want to take my hard earned money and blow it on clothes and food, and buy everyone with me a new outfit or 2 and take them out to dinner. i wanna have those inside jokes that i can laugh with friends about like crazy, and we can die in laughter over the phone for endless hours and have pillow fights or sit on the back porches of anyone's house and make so much noise that we have to run because the cops are coming. i want to come in at 3 am and be wasted and hit my head on the toilet seat while my friend watches so we can laugh about it in at night. (morning and afternoon i would be hung over) i want to re paint my room whenever i want and buy whatever i want to satisfy me. i want to make friends who will be there for me throughout the rest of my life, and make memories that we will always remember, even if we end up having alheimzers and have to make a scrapbook in our teenage years so we don't forget.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

children, this isn't a sense of depression, so don't think i am so down. its just what i have been feeling the last few days, and the things i have noticed that are taking change are hitting me a little harder everyday. i realize how far away i am to getting more best friends. and i realize how far away i am from old friends and how if i wanted to laugh about something a friend did... i couldn't... because i... don't have any. i mean... there are all u IB people who i love to death, but... look at how many people are fake. how many people shit talk. how many people sit and do homework on weekends instead of make plans with each other to hang out with. don't any one of u ever wish that we can hang out... outside of school? like... ALL of us. just hanging out. making memories. maybe its because i've seen all these Roosevelt middle kids and how good their friendships are... but its because they were all willing to take chances and do stupid stuff. u think anyone in ib would do that considering ur scared of disobeying ur parents, or upsetting them? think. life is great if we make it that way. nobody is ever going to be a perfect child or student or success, so just chill out and enjoy this. because the more u go out and have fun, the more people u meet, and the more chances u will have to get to the top.

i have no clue where any of this is going... so imma stop here.

i just wanna life, with u in it.

3 more days 1o.12.o3

o by the way... does the word "body" consist of Head to toe, or like... ur features (muscles, butt etc.). leave ur opinion in comments please. someone and i are having a discussion of this... and we need to see who is right lol. <3

16 . | <3

:: 2004 9 April :: 9.12am
:: Mood: weak-hearted
:: Music: kelly clarkson - "i surrender"

help me not to surrender
=*( i can't... i'm just so....

i can't find the little mermaid to cheer me up. is it a sign?

when i decide that it's done, when i decide i'm finally done with all this unnecessary nonsense and feelings, i go to bed and my heart decides to dream that it's not over. i just had the most movie-like dream. and it almost hurt feeling in love again. it felt so real. and in this dream, i was so passionately willing to fall back. and it's just not right. i don't understand. if a dream is a wish your heart makes, does that mean my heart still loves? does it mean its just trying to suppress it all? i don't know. i am so confused. and i don't understand what i'm saying or why i'm saying it. i just wish things were simple. and i wish i wasn't so confused with myself and with other people.

this is exactly how i acted in the dream:

*there's so much life i've left to live,
and this fire's burning still.
what would happen if they ever knew
i'm in love with you?
cuz i'd surrender everything,
to feel the chance to live again.
i reach to you. i know you can feel it too.
i surrender. every night getting longer
and this fire's getting stronger
i'll swallow my pride and i'll be alive.
did you hear my call? i surrender all.
i reach to you, i know you can feel it too
i surrender.*

2 . | <3

:: 2004 8 April :: 11.27pm
:: Music: 3 doors down-Away from the sun

candy bars and fast food are no way to be on a diet...I have the self control of a dog in heat

speaking of dogs in heat lol...

Can I just say that I love so many things...I love movies, I even love shitty movies, I love boys omg do I love boys, and I love how their arms feel around your waist and I love kissing...they should make it an official hobby

Nothing feels more right and safe than being held and kissed and happy you have no idea.

right so...went to see Starsky and Hutch with Evan the movie was ok I guess I wasn't really paying attention. ; )

We chilled outside until my dad came...which is retarded cuz he coulda just taken me home but w/e Jimmy called while we were sitting there I shouldnt have answered I forgot that Jimmy is a sore subject with Evan.

Got McDonalds on the way home after trying pollo tropical and the mcdonalds drive thru we had to go inside cuz ppl are very slow at 10:30 @ nite...lol sat eating a quarter pounder and a bigass cafinated coke @ 11 when I have to get up @ 7 2morrow...called Jimmy back all wired had a nice long conversation with him until he got too tired to take it....why can't anybody stay up when I need them? lol

I have practice at 8 2morrow morning and i'm so awake and my bed has clothes all over it so thers no sleeping until I get motivated to clean it. I still havn't taken my makeup off im so AWAKE!!! aresjkdfnaenfjk

tomorrow's gunna be a happy day just cause I have tonights memories to get me thru the shittiness...idk evan will most likely do something to confuse me as to where we stand lyk...2morrow or sometime soon just cuz that's what we do...but I can be happy for now.

*sigh* @ least danielle is up I need human contact right now...I COULD wake up John but he'd probably cry in the morning.

trips down memory lane are fun...

midnight can be a high in itself...

I love everyone

~Jess~

1 . | <3

alwaysfalling

:: 2004 9 April :: 12.16am
:: Mood: awake

i love conversations with jessica.

1 . | <3

:: 2004 8 April :: 9.40pm

lately i've been thinking about a future career... and i kinda came up with a plan.

Cheer for Atlantic & Graduate, go to UCF & tryout there (study psychology & physical therapy, try-out for NCA & the Spring Audition of Miami Dolphins Cheer Team. From there, work on getting to playboy, but i'd probably become a playboy rep... considering... yeah.

the greatest thing is that i am actually thinking realistically. this would be something that i would enjoy, and then to top that off.... its not dreaming. cause dreaming would be dancing, singing, modelling... which i would get nowhere with... considering that we are talking about me here.

but anyways... it just so happens that a lady is coming to my house on monday to discuss college... my first question will be... should i stay in ib?

The bell was about to ring, i had to walk to class pacingly. Opened the door, stepped over the threash-hold, and the thoughts of that day just flashed through my mind. Back when the event occured, i had no knowledge of where the buildings were located, or what they were for. I recall sitting in the back seat of Laura's car and her mom repeating, "A plane crashed into the WTC, a plane crashed into the WTC...". Thoughts raced through my mind like, "Ok, plane crashes occur everyday."
Laura and i were already late to school, on that day, Wednesday, and it was a half day. We just walked into school, up the stairs, and on the blue line of the right side of the hallway, something our school made us do. As i walked into Ms. William's 8th grade science classroom, I glanced at the television, the news was on. The anchors continuously talked about the plane crash. Ms. Williams left the room and went to spread the news to Mr. Kolarich, Mrs. Stoughton, & Mr. Gianatiempo. By then, Mr. West was sitting in our doorway staring at the television, watching all the gray fog, and people running for cover. Kyle, Justin, Alexie & i were finishing our Lego Spaceship project, and another plane hit another building. From there, i just remember finishing school, coming home, and not being able to watch cartoons or anything... because this top news story was on every channel, however, i found no importance of it.
So as i walked into Mr. Epstein's classroom this morning at 10:33, i had deja vu. The first thing i saw was the television on, and everyone watching it like something horrible just happened. My mind went blank, and the first thing i said to myself was, "Dear god... i'm praying that everybody is ok."

turns out... the students just found amazement in the government issues that they were discussing about 9-11.

3 . | <3

:: 2004 8 April :: 9.28pm
:: Mood: disappointed
:: Music: aaliyah - "the one i gave my heart to?"

how could the one who said "i love you" say the things you say?

how could you not love me anymore?

how could the love that brought such pleasure, bring such misery?

i am done. after that fit of depression, i had never been so close to swallowing water. but instead i just had to swallow the tears. and hopefully i stick to this. and hopefully i'll become immune to it all.

concert.needed.talk.hugs.needed.
warmth.

1 . | <3

alwaysfalling

:: 2004 8 April :: 3.55pm
:: Mood: sick
:: Music: watching mr.deeds

So today I stayed home again but this time I was actually sick. This long weekend is starting to look sucky. Well have a nice weekend all.

<3

3 . | <3

:: 2004 7 April :: 11.14pm
:: Mood: regretful
:: Music: deathcab - "transatlanticism"

i told myself not to cry today. got that tingling feeling so many times, not even funny but not a single tear came out.

here is my first .

all i can do is inundate myself back into work. and maybe i wont feel it as much.

and the second .
and the third .

i need you so much closer.

so cold. now i cant stop sneezing, sniffling.

2 . | <3

:: 2004 7 April :: 9.34pm

hahaha i broke them down! Jessica has a date tomorrow night. I'm happy happy happy. My dad still thinks Evan is going to rape me tho so he wont let him drive...o well he'll get over it soon enough. Even my mom thinks hes being ridiculous. His truck is way to small for anyone to have sex in in it anyway...

umm wat else...tryin gto get a job at american eagle this summer my dad knows the district manager. $$$

I convinced myself I had mono...then I convinced danielle she had it...lol even jimmy said i had him wondering...my paranoia is contagious

took my makeup chem quiz since I failled the last one....we'll see chemistry is the bane of my existence.

im sooooooo soooooo sry danielle and heather I can't go out on friday my mom is starting to obsess over the briss and all the ppl comming she needs me to help clean and get the house ready. u guys go out and have crazy wild fun i'll be there next time.

danielle u do not have mono and u r healthy as an ox if u r not at school I will come over and poison your chicken soup...

im happy...nobody talk to me you will probably just mess it up

~I Love Everything~

5 . | <3

bocaheath05

:: 2004 7 April :: 7.49pm
:: Music: starting line - best of me over and over in my head

well today was fun, kinda. 1 1/2 fire drills. the one in 3rd wasn't really one so i think it was a half. so brianna jsut IMed me...i;m not fucking paying 2 dollars to keep my woohu. i have LJ fool.

LiLsHorTcaKe2315: hey! u gonna pay $2 to keep ur woohu?
iluvBITP: fuck no
LiLsHorTcaKe2315: lol
iluvBITP: im a cheap ass jew

2 . | <3

:: 2004 7 April :: 6.35pm

Who is keeping their journal? I could always move it format and all to livelog with my private one I guess but I lyk woohu. Idk I think Briana has a pretty good idea if every1 else stays i will cuz its really not worth it if all my friends arent on the same page. Half teh fun of these is keeping up with everyone elses buisness.

Speaking of friends....had an interesting convo with logan. Explained the difference between a friend and an aquaintence and what category he falls under...think I offended him a bit...im crying on the inside...really.

I HATE MY PARENTS! they make things so complicated it's ridiculous. I can't go out thursday nite cuz my mom didnt wanna pick me up late when shes gotta work in the morning. ok so I find a way around that u drop me off at the movies Evan will drive me home problem solved. But noo she has to sit up and wait for me to come home so it still wont work. wtf Im not 4 i'd prbly be home by 10:30 how early do u need to go to sleep?!

So i guess we're trying for friday but we both already kinda have plans on friday we need to work around....why does god not want me to see him? Why does my mother make my life so difficult. She bitxhes when i stay home that I need to get out of her face and find friends to hang out with....when I try and go out I end up having to change every1's plans lyk 40 times and having this fuckin complicated strategy. It's almost not worth the effort to have a social life. This shouldnt e so hard when I have friends willing to drive me everywhere idk how she manages. ugh! im just venting sorry jesus christ do I need a car.

well I have more to say but ill say it later

~Jess~

1 . | <3

:: 2004 7 April :: 4.42pm

any1 who is planning 2 pay the $2 for woohu, (check the main page) we will just bring the money to school, i will collect it, and make a money order, and then send it and everyone's usernames to andy all at once. <3 Call my cell for any questions.

5 . | <3

:: 2004 6 April :: 9.05pm
:: Mood: melancholy
:: Music: death cab - "tiny vessels"

i just feel so majorly passive right now. i almost freaking fell asleep in the bathtub. no, i didnt try to drown myself. and it's already 9:10, i need to get offline. we might not be going to gainesville because my mom cant get a hold of andrew (and is freaking out) and most of the hotels are booked this weekend. but i doubt i shall go to soco/yc even if i am in town. shrug. maybe im just not in the mood right now to be excited.

why can't those feelings just go away and stop haunting me?

i wrote my personal statement for art... kinda BS but kinda the truth. april 15th. be there.

i just have no idea what to say.

this is the moment that you know that you told her that you loved her but you don't.

tiny vessels oozed into your neck and formed the bruises that you said you didn't want to fade, but they did and so did i that day.

all i see are dark grey clouds in the distance moving closer with every hour. so when you ask "was something wrong?" that i think "you're damn right there is, but we can't talk about it now. no, we can't talk about it now."

so one last touch and then you'll go and we'll pretend that it meant something so much more. but it was vile, and it was cheap and you are beautiful, but you don't mean a thing to me.

... but you do.

1 . | <3

:: 2004 6 April :: 8.28pm
:: Mood: mellow
:: Music: Do iT To ME:: Usher.

i WANT to be Usher's Bad Girl.
Kayli and i are playing the Yes/No Game between bands, hehe.

no school for danielle or kayli today. crazy. wish i could have stayed home, i'm in like... some sort of stage where i'm striving for the mall, and to talk to my boyfriend. i haven't talked to him since sunday... and he's not answering his phone at home... gosh.

LiLsHorTcaKe2315 : where's prince charming..?
SmilingChica2006 : prince charming.... he's in the forest on his white horse...
LiLsHorTcaKe2315 : far away from earth.

i'm in like that mood too... where i want love right here, right now. hugs, kisses, sweet romance.

i could also go for one of those days where i go to school and everyone says i look cute. i prefer wearing a dress, or something i haven't worn yet, but i can't seem to find that. i'm searching for change and it just isn't working.

can u handle it? can i go there baby with u?

can't wait til' 2morrow. 5:30pm. my first varsity parent mtg. i'm lovin' it. haha. if there was a team above varsity... erin said i would make it! <3 the new coach, nothing like ellis. but maloney was wonderful to me, like i was her daughter. <3333

peace. <3 and chicken grease.

6 dias. 1o.12.o3.

NOTE TO SELF: Bring Twista & Usher to school, for Sameen <3

2 . | <3

:: 2004 6 April :: 5.40pm
:: Mood: Tired
:: Music: Big Shot-Billy Joel

hmm hmm news news nothing to say Danielle wasn't at school today missed my chub mucho.

I saw a fox in the annex today just chillen behin da bush. It was so cool...wanted to take it home and name it foxy...

Slept thru english, (I love how I bring nothing to class and sleep as soon as she starts talking and I'm the only one who doesnt get yelled at for it)...marked all my dances in 2nd hour because I was too tired and pissy to cooperate and do them full out.
Slept thru spanish (I don;t even think mrs. french can blame me for that) got a 48/50 on a spanish quiz got a 91% on my stats test yesterday I was happy cuz I did it all on my own. Chemistry was a lost cause played with janyll's calculator turned in another quiz practically blank (I have to retake the last one I failed tomorrow)

I just couldnt pay attention I had too much on my mind. Planned Parenthood (seems worth consdiering), school, dance show, captain auditions, choreography, officer interviews, friends, guys, dieting

Jessica is back on a diet...i'm running conditioning for Eagle-Ettes this summer no matter what position I get just because no one else will. But yeah I think my depression is becoming linked to the scale or how tight my favorite jeans get everyday. Then when i'm depressed I eat and it's a whole vicious cycle...we're going to fix this starting now.

I'm supposedly geting out of health tomorrow to learn some extra choreography with britney. Dicillo said she needed some strong jumpers to do a duet/backup thing in the Billy Joel medly with Dorianna's solo. That means just a lot of leaping, and that's what we live for lol. My mom'll be happy she likes seeing me on stage as much as possible. After 12 years of paying for studio and costumes and competition and trips she's earned w/e makes her happy I guess.

yeah so came home...refrained from eating, went online, updated livelog, picked a fight with Evan (god knows why), checked maddox's page called my mom, now I'm here updating woohu.

oh yeah my mom got in a car accident yesterday...sum guy hit her at a red light. She's ok though. Just a little whiplash I think. The guy's car was way more fucked up than ours we barely got a dent.

Dane Cook has a whole buncha jokes about accidents...i'll have to play them for her later.

what an incredibly boring entry...you all have no clue what I'm talking about

eh if your dissapointed....

no I really don't care don't read

~2 more days~

christini

:: 2004 6 April :: 5.11pm

feelings of the moment: happy, tired, amused, tired of it all, confused, overwhelmed, at peace, indifferent. i must say that is an odd combination.
i am out of candy as well. thanks to lovelies around helping me.
show saturday night, should be exactly what the doctor prescribed. i cant wait.
other stuff.. eh. i dont understand how my brain works. one day it sees something one way, then the very next it can see it in the complete opposite way. oh well.

1 . | <3

lizzy

:: 2004 6 April :: 4.56pm
:: Mood: content

Best Passover Lines:

1. Let's make this night really different from all others nights.
2. Did that just say we were in bondage?
3. What's a girl like you doing at a seder like this?
4. I like my matzah thin, like my women.
5. Maybe when Elijah comes, we can make it a threesome
6. I could never Pass you Over.

lol. a bit funny to me and jews :)

chem that last half hour or so was a friken riot. sooo funnyyyyy lol christine, heather, ashley. omg.

all out of candy :) i'm a good sales girl.

10 . | <3

:: 2004 5 April :: 10.01pm
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: Watchin' the Inferno.

if there was ever 1 test i could pass... it'd be a test of cheerleading.
today i was given proof of that. came out above over 30 girls, some of them in which have been classified as "better than i". however, with proof from: NCA, UCA, and University of NC... i'm ranked the highest of Atlantic Cheerleading this year. FINALLY something i can do, and come out ON TOP of everybody else. it feels great!

thank u for the compliments i received today. i know i got one from ms. jackie <3 and i didn't hear other people's opinions... but those of u who mentioned to me that i was "cute" today, or that i got "tanner" (hehe thank u liz) thank u. (if those were compliments, +shrug+ <3 )

i still didn't appreciate pocahantas. lol.

finished my homework early, and even did art history homework that is due for the following class. hehe i feel good. guess that's what happens when ur boyfriend isn't around to talk to. whatever he is doin' now tho, i loveeee him. iweescreem lol. MUAH!

Siete dias mas. 1o.12.o3 <3333

i'm outtie, like poca-hant-ti. hehe... don't ask, my love.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

lizzy

:: 2004 5 April :: 5.48pm
:: Mood: anticipating
:: Music: SoCo

like that icon ehhh?
my wknd was good...friday was chillin with the girls, wendy's, natalia's, pimp my ride, spice world. Saturday and Sunday i hung out at the hotel with my cousin Pam and uncle and aunt. Last night, all my florida fam and them came over to dinner. Pam and i played with our cousins, it was fun.

well the next 2 months are gonna be crazy! concerts, school, dance show, exams, eagle-ette auditions + practices, parties, banquets...AHH! i'm worried just thinking about how i'm gonna get to do everything. This weekend is the concert- something corporate and yellowcard with my darling christini :) I'm just a bit concerned becuz friday i have practice, my permit test, and then have to go hang out with my in-town relatives. Saturday i probably have to hang out with them all day too becuz at night i'm going to the concert. Then sunday, somehow i will have to read 2 econ chapters, study for my stats test, and probly a bunch of other things the teachers will pile on. Fourth quarter is crazy and i just have to take it day by day and STOP PROCRASTINATING cuz i dunt have much time to waste.

i can do it. woooo. gotta get started! <3

2 . | <3

:: 2004 5 April :: 5.06pm
:: Mood: hungry
:: Music: changes-tupac

"dreading tha doctor visit"..lmao
haha..dat wuz THE FUNNIEST convo everrr..amara's a trip..metal rods..lmao..wooo..dat wuz great..newayz..bryan called me!!!!!!!..:D..we didnt really get to talk dat much cuz he wuz on his way to work..but it wuz great..he wuz tellin me how he went clubbin wid his dawgs..i found out he doesnt really like dancin..but he does wen derz alotta ppl..like a party or a club..so yea we were talkin for a lil while..he sed hez gonna call me back..wen he getz off from work..:)..

~i am sooo happy i wuz able to clear all dat shit up..but for real..i still have no clue wussup wid dat kid and his frickin gay ass self..grr..ok im done..lol~

:: 2004 4 April :: 11.45pm
:: Mood: conceited.
:: Music: Si Ya Se Acabo:: J to The L-O

way beyond self confident.
i'm probably more conceited than this world will ever know. i actually think i can make it to playboy, and there's no shame in my game fo' that 1, because with a lil' make-up, training, and a lil' camera adjusting (fo' da height, u kno, u kno, haha) i cud do it. i love the camera, i may not show it, but haha. it's my best friend. thats the life i need. a hawt boyfriend that wouldn't care either... +shrug+ hopefully jonah doesn't care. hehe. he's mighty hawt already, but i wonder if he would... flip. o well.

jonah & carlos definitely knocked me out of that... "i may have problems, but they're too stupid to worry" stage, because naturally my problems are stupid... like the shit talking... haha, those people can suck my left nut. JUSTTTTT KIDDDDDINNNNNNGGGG. i hope u found that humorous... because i really don't have a left nut. i have a right one only. lmao woot. i feel like i'm on sumfin right now, but i'm not.

n e ways, shhhhhh. i'm bored. and talking to carlos, which is neat-o. but imma bounce, cause i've got sparknotes callin' mah name. peace homiez. xOx

:: 2004 4 April :: 1.01pm
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: roses-outkast

ugh..change tha clocks..
well..im up..i woke up at 11..n it wuz really twelve..i wuz so confused..it seems as tho tha day juss went by in like a heartbeat..i pretty much juss finish eatin breakfast n we're bout ta have an early dinner wid family b4 we head out..i wuz helpin mami make tha sum of tha dinner but gave up..lol..i made an ankle bracelet..it came out really cute..it has a charm on it wid sum black beads..neways datz pretty much it for now..we shudd be leavin around like 4 maybe..n den we get home around 7-8 ish..n den back ta skoo..ehh..i hope dis week is a good week n everything dat i want to happen happens already!!..see u guyz soon..x0x0..<3..kaila

alwaysfalling

:: 2004 4 April :: 12.55am

lalala. danielle was in lala land throughout that whole movie. i put myself in it instead of julia stiles. then it ended and i realized that i am still single and alone. got in the car and decided that i should start taking more chances. i hope my thoughts aren't just thoughts anymore and actions do actually occur. we will see.

<3

2 . | <3

:: 2004 3 April :: 10.47pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: yea-usher

juss got back..
so we went to steph's party..it wuz iight..saw alotta ppl i havent seen in a while..lotz of good food..lol..i got to chill wid taina..dey wanted us to watch tha kids..which were about 25 lil kids..psshh..lol..i ended up only watchin baby alex..he's soo cute..he's really tiny too..4 months..n taina juss watched her lil brother marc..newayz we walked around tha neighborhood..n i had tha baby carraige..n ppl were givin me weird looks when we took dem to tha park..lol..oh well..so tai wuz tellin me bout all her boy drama..n wanted me to help her out..so i heard her out n gave her advice..but itz tha middle school kinda puppy love drama..lol..so she had me crackin up..but dis gurl is goin out wid a junior n tha gurl is in 8th grade..derz definately sumthin wrong there..lol..so yea im madd tired..it wuz a busy day..we went shoppin earlier today n i got a really cute bathing suit at marshall's..itz white n red..can't wait ta wear it..guess datz it for now..x0x0..<3 kaila

:: 2004 3 April :: 9.54pm

plain jane.
woke up, made myself some honey nut cheerios with a sliced banana. drove myself ta work. put in more carts than i did bagging. damn. mike came in @ 4, s0-o did jay, -n- walter came in @ 5. talked ta mike -n- jay, buh not walter. i thought it was scurry cuz around 5pm, i started thinking, "i need walter right now, him -n- i wud be crackin' on that lady s0-o bad, speakin' of him, i haven't seen him in a long time." literally 5 seconds later i glance ta my left -n- he is bagging 4 the cashier next ta me. how FURRRR-eeeeek-y. finally, at 5:30pm, i got out of that hell hole.

came home, took a shower, did some yoga, relaxed and just enjoyed my own company, did my nails, made myself dinner, watched t.v. -n- now i'm writing about it... here.

my bro did sumfin ta his ankle from sk8-boardin'. he's in the emergency room now. they still haven't come home.

daddy is home with me. alone. i don't like it. its bad enough the things he says and does when everyone is around. how i dare not push his buttons when i'm in a house alone with him.

haven't talked to jonah all day. +shrugs+

<3 --- <3 --- <3 --- <3 --- <3 --- <3 --- <3 --- <3 --- <3 --- <3 --- <3

maybe i'll go take a walk outside now.