The poems to come are for you and for me and are not for mostpeople.

:: 2003 14 January :: 6.31pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: starting line - drama of summer

if i wrote you a song with all the things i said that weren't true , it would be the shortest song in the world , because i meant every word , and it could never compare to the novel you're writing me this very second .

2 lovers | i love susan.

:: 2003 14 January :: 5.03pm

Lesson of the day: Don't sit on beds half naked in boy's rooms.

Anywho, if you don't know about my last entry then don't worry about it.. just follow my advice above lol

Besides the "incident" i've been doing pretty good which is a huge step up from my usual "eh" <- for those of you who know me well.

I have a wonderful boy now heh :0) we're working through some things but everyone seems to like him and assures hes a keeper :0P

Hes also got excellent friends of which one in particular is super nice and puts up with more of my rambling and crap then all of you! lol <3 for Steven Chris :0P

Right well for those of you who have asked or even remotely care this is the link to his journal (Marc's)
http://www.deadjournal.com/users/fisherofbears/

<3(heart)<3

18 lovers | i love susan.

:: 2003 13 January :: 10.11am
:: Mood: happy

at least i know i'm not the only one falling . i have to type to keep my hands from calling you in the middle of class to tell you i hope you have a good day at work . and we have a million plans but that could never be enough ... i'm sorry ... because i'm so obsessed with you . and maybe i will break your heart but maybe you will break mine . or maybe we will both remain this enchanted and never be disenchanted because i don't think i could be mad at you . and we have to agree before you get in my car and before i get in yours . but that's okay , because we do agree , on everything , all the time , and we are happy . and sometimes , all you want is to be happy . and right now , that's all i am . <3

:: 2003 12 January :: 1.09am

oh my god... o my god o my god o my god o my god o my god...

i'm so sorry...

what the fuck ... i don't know what to say...

i'm so sorry

:: 2003 11 January :: 6.35pm

Gypsy10071: hi
picsxstarsxdream: hey!
Gypsy10071: i hate you and heidi and jessica
Gypsy10071: you all keep going out and having fun
Gypsy10071: i get to sit at home and eat cookies and cry
Gypsy10071: so what's up?
picsxstarsxdream: lol
picsxstarsxdream: nooo cry
picsxstarsxdream: find a boy!
picsxstarsxdream: TYLER!
Gypsy10071: i hate you
Gypsy10071: so much
Gypsy10071: so very much
Gypsy10071: now i'm really depressed
picsxstarsxdream: don't hate me :0(
Gypsy10071: i can't stay mad at you
picsxstarsxdream: :0)

haha its grand being happy!!!

<3s for Rose

Rose + TBob = <3 haha

2 lovers | i love susan.

:: 2003 11 January :: 1.12am

God i'm happy!
My date = soo excellent!!!

wow. lol geez i'm a dork (yeah.) Heidi, Jessie & I are the pimpest girls in the world!!!!! All 3 of us successfully had the most incredible nights and ahhhhh!!!

It was actually funny.. we were guna meet at Starbucks @ 9:30 and I had Chris and Jenn looking for him because I was a chicken shit.. while we were waiting we bumped into Jacob's (Heidi's boyfriend)little sister Sarah & that was pretty cool.. I also ran into Canadian Dave's little sister Jen!

So yeah he go there... exactly 8min before I decided I was leaving. He brought me Bob the Builder stickers & I am forever indebted to him haha it was really sweet though and it just made him that much more wonderful lol well we talked for awhile then chilled @ Borders then Kevin came around 11 and we went to Mizeraks where Marc & I won 3 games of pool (i wish lol)

It was such an excellent night... I don't want it to end...ever lol

picsxstarsxdream: curious. what did your friends say?
The Cow and I: like what?
The Cow and I: well.. they talked about how like close we where and how we hit it off
The Cow and I: and like how they thought it would not work

:: 2003 8 January :: 11.00pm
:: Mood: is "waiting by the phone" a mood ?
:: Music: sublime - april 26, 1992 (miami)

he didn�t notice that i skipped tracks 4 and 10 on the cd player , waiting until he was out of the car so as not to ruin the poignancy of the songs , and he wouldn't know why , nor would he care . there�s a lot he doesn�t notice . maybe i�m only �pretty good� because i don�t want to be here .

:: 2003 8 January :: 8.18pm

Hello. My head hurts less now,thank you hehe

School is actually very excellent so far with the exception of everyone getting kicked out :0( TOK is very interesting too bad Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance isn't.

I met a boy that is wonderful.. Weird eh? It seems kind of weird but hes really cool and I think he enjoys talking to me (hope so anyways lol) Lets see... he likes Radiohead (like canadian Dave) and hes really into SKA and we have excellent conversations :0P hes NOT a republican, not gay haha, a nice guy so far. Maybe after yoga we'll get married heh (that ones for you :0P)

I think for the first time in a long time i'm in an excellent mood. This is kind of nice.

7 lovers | i love susan.

:: 2003 5 January :: 9.54pm
:: Mood: in pain... lots and lots of freakin pain

snow = overrated.

sooo Vivi's snowboarding adventures recap: 1st day = very very very frustrating... i could get down the stupid bunny slope but i had no idea how to stop so everytime i wanted 2 slow down or stop i'd totally wipe out... VERY VERY PAINFUL!!! that was at Kirkwood by the way.
Today was a LOT better (well kinda)we went to Heavenly which is a HUGEEE resort on the border of Cali and Nevada. The first run of the day approx 9:00am was ehhhhh evenutally got down lol decided to take a sitter till my 11:00am private lesson. Private lesson = excellent. The best thing I could have done (plus my instructor Adam was soooooooooooooooooooooo HOT!!!!) that actually made the lesson harder cuz I wasn't really paying attention :0P Well... he did teach me a lot though... I can now officially control the stupid board and am an intermediate snowboarder :0D haha welllll I did about 11 runs today which isn't bad... only had 1 bad wipeout (not my fault.. stupid kid skiiers..) lets see... best run of the day would have to be all the way down & fell once at the bottom to avoid hitting skiiers inline for the lift (yay go me!)

That part of the day was just dandy... but around 3:20pm all hell struck (this is guna beat your story Lana!)I went up the lift again in the single line so they paired me up w/a double. 2 boarders... i was on the right. Well... for those of you who don't know where you're sitting on the lift is where you're supposed to go to get off..(left veers to the left, middle goes straight etc) well i was perfectly ready to get off veering towards the right. I was okay but unfortunately the stupid kid in the middle decided to veer to the right also. He ended up clipping me and i fell leaving the chair lift thing to come around and drag me by my hair 3ft backwards (it sucked) when the stupid lift finally stopped i pulled my head away, heard a loud rip and saw like half of my hair hanging off of the chair lift. Fun. I wasn't too happy... kinda ruined the end of my day. Luckily I have no bald spot.. proly just gota get the back evened out.

Ride home was long. Tal... ehh i'll write bout him in a later entry. I guess a pretty good day over all. I'd definately like to do it again :0)

I come home tomorrow, weeeee!

5 lovers | i love susan.

:: 2003 3 January :: 9.52pm

My bestfriend Tal from elementary school is here now Weee! Spent the whole day w/him in the bay area = lots of fun! Now hes playing video games w/my lil bro. Tomorrow ehh 4:30am we leave for Kirkwood to go skiing!!!! ehh snowboarding? heh should be loads of fun. The next day we're going to Heavenly which is supposed to be the best ski place around soo yay! then Vivi returns on the 5th & stupid school starts again.

so far an excellent break :0)

4 lovers | i love susan.

:: 2003 1 January :: 1.25pm

u know your in band too long when:

~You hear music and mark the time
~You walk in step with the person in front of you
~You don't mind changing on the bus
~All the guys/girls in which you are interested are in the band
~You like your uniform
~You've had a trombone-ectomy
~You consider your drill book a necessary fashion accessory
~You practice your instrument more than you talk to your dog
~You consider getting mauled by a drum a part of normal life
~An armed guard means a girl with a pole, not a guy with a gun
~When alone, you suffocate -- no one tells you to breathe
~You name your instrument
~You know your instrument's birthday but forget your mom's
~You can make brown shoes look white
~Your uniform fits
~You see your section more than you see your family
~You think evening practice should last half an hour longer
~You accidentally call your director Dad/Mom
~You CAN sight read
~You can put on your uniform in under 10 minutes
~Your reed tastes yummy
~You think your plume is alive
~Marking tie is your favorite form of exercise
~You have neck strap harness tan lines (right drummers?)
~Numbers past eight aren't important anymore
~Letters past G aren't important anymore
~When you roll step through the cafeteria, you don't spill your lunch
~When everyone in the band fights like family
~When you practice so long the color guard is together
~You know not only your part, but everyone else's as well
~You eat lunch in the band room
~You possess two instruments:
~a good one for concert and a junky one for marching band
~You can't go to movies on the weekend with friends
~You don't see your parents on the weekend
~Your free time is spent doing homework
~Drummers actually seem to make sense
~Your furniture is dented because of you banging drumsticks on it
~The ego of the trumpet section seems normal
~You got all the jokes on this list.

7 lovers | i love susan.

:: 2003 1 January :: 3.55am

finally everyone left. I was the dish/serve slave of the night.. fun. Boring.

A new year, hopefully a better one.

Goodnight everyone <3

i love susan.

:: 2002 31 December :: 9.53pm
:: Mood: cynical
:: Music: bright eyes / britt daniel - southern state

the mother hands the girl at the register her credit card and notices how she grits her teeth as she slides it through ; bites her tongue to keep from crying . rolling her eyes , she puts away the credit card , thinking how easy kids these days have it . and as she pulls out of the parking lot , a young woman hits her toyota with her mercedes sl 500 , bursts into tears , hands her the information , and pulls away . the beautiful blonde with the bruise on her arm , who traded her tank tops for long sleeves with collars , even in the ninety degree weather . the mother gets home , checks on her sleeping children , notices the different perfume on her couch cushions , and sprays them with febreze before the company arrives . the girl gets home to change for the party but instead throws out the half empty bottle and changes her screaming baby sister�s diaper before calling to cancel her plans . the young woman gets home to a surprisingly peaceful apartment � the calm before the storm � and hurries to make dinner before he gets upset . and they all do this day after day after day , year after year . so why celebrate tonight ?