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chuckitatthewall

:: 2004 27 May :: 9.59pm

HELLO THERE! I have a lot of stuff I wanna write so I'll just get straight into it and shorten it probably a lot.

Yesterday sucked. Stephanie is mad at me yet again. I wrote about how I told Bobby a bunch of stuff that Stephanie does on the internet. He let it spill out of his flapping mouth that can't keep one thing quiet. Anyway she is mad at me for like the thousandth time this school year. I dont care though..at all. She, Lynn, and Sarah weren't talking to me. She actually was first mad on Tuesday. My mom took Sarah and me to Lunardi's after school the one day I really don't wanna talk to her. The only words we said to eachother the whole car ride and into the store was "bye" when she left.

Today was pretty good. Despite having 2 finals and 2 hours of graduation practice everthing went better. Lynn can secretly talk to me and her and Sarah both lie to Stephanie saying they don't. I'm no longer pissed at Sarah. I think that I needed a day to cool off. I'm not even mad at Bobby. In fact I'm rather glad that he got her permanently mad at me because I'll permanently have a black spot in my heart towards her. The only form of "love" it has is a slight concern for what she will turn into if she keeps going the way she is. Other than that it is dark and full of anger. She treats people terrible. Cheating on her boyfriends. Lying about what I've said about others. The sooner I get away from her the better.

Today at graduation practice we found out where we sit for the morning award ceremony. I sit next to Kyle. YAY YAY YAY! Only thing is that he sits next to Christina so they were talking a lot. I hate her. Shes really mean and always has been. He told me to call her a hippo while we were in line waiting. I did and it was so great. I CANT DESCRIBE HOW IT FEELS TO CALL SOMEONE YOU HATE A MEAN NAME AND HAVE THEM THINK YOU DONT MEAN IT WHEN YOU REALLY DO! Well, if Kyle were reading this I would say thank you for that but hes not.

Finals were this week. So far I know I got a 79% on math and a 76% on science...2 C+. I cried when I got my math result back because I thought I really could have done a lot better. I think I was being too emotional and a bit of a cry baby. Our teacher, Miss Gengras, even made a comment before she gave them back about how the whole year I'd been struggling with negative numbers. When I got it back I missed 5 problems just because I put negative when it was positive or positive when it was negative. I feel so stupid just thinking about it. You'd think that it's just a matter of memorizing the rules but for some reason I just don't seem to be able to fuckin get it! It's so frustrating. I should have asked my tutor for help when I was going to him but I dunno how much you can really help for that kind of stuff.

I'm tired and I don't have homework so I can be lazy so I'm going to end this. Byester

5 did | Go fuck yourself


chuckitatthewall

:: 2004 22 May :: 9.21pm

Hiya. Yesterday was a stupid boring birthday. It was probably one of the worst birthdays I've had. I don't want to make anyone feel any worse than I know they already do but I'm just going to say this and uh..sorry if you do feel worse. I know that Jessica knew it was my birthday and that it was probably just a brain fart but it really sucks when one of your friends says "Why are you in free dress" on your birthday. Then I can't remember if I said something or she just realized it was my birthday. That really sucked. Enough feeling sorry for myself. We went to some Japanese restaraunt called Kyoto Palace. They cook food in front of you. Its pretty cool but I hate Japanese food. Also the cook guy was Mexican. Kind of weird. The best presents I got were from my sister. My mom and dad gave me some ugly clothes and a Beatles C.D. I like the c.d cause the Beatles are good. It has the "When I'm 64" song on it. I listened to it and started crying.

I'm done complaining about my birthday. My sister, Maureen, has really been getting on my nerves. It seems like she only has really mean things to say about my other sisters, particularly Michelle and Monica. She keeps going on and on about how shes so disapointed with Monica because of her decisions and who she has become. She just hates Michelle for everything and says that Michelle brings out the worst in everyone. Maybe she does but I don't care to hear about it constantly. I'm the only one that Maureen has who is willing to listen to everything she talks about so I suck it up and listen. Sometimes I can't help but wonder if she talks this bad about me with other people. Normally I don't just go and insult her and nit pick everything that is wrong with her unless I'm pissed...like right now. She makes me feel bad for liking my other sisters and I really think that thats wrong. Then I try to tell her I don't care to hear anymore about what she thinks about Monica and Michelle she says "Oh, this is just to hard for you to understand." So she trys to tell me that the reason I don't want to hear anymore is because I just am to stupid to get it. I understand..all of it. I think deep down somewhere she knows that what she is doing is very wrong and mean. How can she go around criticizing others when she is very far from being perfect. She has no friends and all she ever talks about is work. I am forced to endure rides in the car with her where all she says is "Did I tell you about this guy who came into the shop?....." (She works at Postal Annexe) It's so annoying. I'm tired of hearing about all those "retarded" people that go into the shop. Or those "pushy,snobby,bitchy" people. I'm sick of even talking about her.

On Thursday I was freed. Freed from being forced to be friends with Sarah. Yes, it is finally over. Let me tell you the past year and half has sucked. I hate being friends with her. She called me a bitch when we were in a fight once but I forgave her because we give her a ride home and other shit. I am a bitch..sometimes. I'm a bitch when I have to be but the way she called me one was completely unfair. She said "Well you always act like such a bitch when your with Louise." YEA WELL GUESS WHAT ASSHOLE?! Shes a true friend. Shes been my friend since kindergarten and I can trust her. Shes not using me. I would go to her with serious issues before I'd go to Sarah anyday. I don't think Sarah really cares. She may be prettier than me (grosser too) and guys may like her more but I'm just gonna bet that I could keep a guy around longer (without talking about sex or promising any things to do with sex) than she could. There is more to love than saying "Oh! I like you!and you're hot so that means I love you" or "I'm single. You're single. I love you". Its so fucked up. You can't just say that you love somebody that you met for 5 minutes. No wonder "relationships" only last a few days or weeks in Jr. high. At a dance when she liked some guy she kept looking to up to her right and fluttering her eyelashes and giggling. Holy fuck. Its so fucked up. The guy thought she was weird. HA! YOU DUMBASS. She completely changes when she is around a guy. I don't think that I change that much. I get much quieter just cause I'm naturally shy. So the way I'm going to end our friendship will be very gradual. When she calls, unless I'm extremely bored, I won't call her back. Then I'll say "I never got the message" or "I was really tired". Technically thats true. I'm tired....of her. I really want to see what she turns out to be as in 10 years. She once told me she wanted to go to St. Marys college but shes kidding herself. Sarah has absolutely no motivation. She'll never make it into St. Marys unless she changes a lot. I'm not betting on that.

THIS IS NOW REALLY BORING. BYESTER. WHOEVER READS THIS PLEASE COMMENT ON THE SARAH THING.WELL YOU DON'T HAVE TO BUT IT WOULD BE NICE

1 did | Go fuck yourself


chuckitatthewall

:: 2004 12 May :: 9.33pm
:: Mood: tired

i hope this isnt too long for u to read
For some reason I feel really weird writing in here. Oh well...I'll do it anyway.

I was going to write in here on Monday because that was the 1 year anniversary of my aunt dieing but I got in trouble for losing my P.E shorts so I couldn't. Lots of stuff has happened since I last wrote. On Saturday morning I slept until 10:00 because my sister woke me up just to say she was leaving to go pick up her car. (She left her car at her friends house because she was too drunk to drive home the night before) I watched T.V until about noon and then I went on the internet out of boredom. I called back Jennifer and when I was on the phone with her I nearly killed my finger. I was shutting a door that seperates the computer room/dining room from the kitchen and I pulled it out of the wall. I guess I wasn't paying attention and pulled to far because some how it cut my finger really bad. So I screamed and waved my finger around which made blood hit the door. (Aren't you so happy I added that little detail?) I hung up and then went running into the kitchen and my sister put water on it and was squeezing it with a paper towel but it wouldn't stop bleeding so she said that I might have to get stitches. I am deathly afraid of hospitals. I've never been in one to get something done to me but I've seen what they do to other people and since I haven't had another Tetnis shot I was even more scared. Luckily I didnt have to go to the hospital and I didn't have to go to softball either. What a lovely paragraph describing that.

I'm going to skip to Monday. I lost my P.E shorts and then I got in trouble for it. My parents were being such asses. I think my dad really doesnt like me. I know he loves me but I dont think he likes me. (I'm going to go back to Sunday for a second) I was at the kitchen table and my grandma had just left so I said "I don't think grandma likes me." then my mom said "Neither do I." She kind of sighed like she was ashamed of my grandma. (Monday again) So I got sent to bed early for lipping off when I was defending myself. They kept telling me that my P.E shorts were in my room and that I wasn't looking hard enough. Its sort of hard to find something when it isn't there. I kept insisting they weren't. I was right. Yesterday I found my shorts in my softball bag and my mom said she looked there. Guess she didn't look hard enough.

Tuesday was a really bad day. During L.A somehow a conversation about Stephanie got started. Bobby, who sits in front me, turned around and started asking about her. Jessica and I were telling him some stuff that we probably shouldn't have. Lynn was sitting behind me and she said a few things too. Bobby asked us we why hang out with her and I said that I didn't and Lynn said she didn't know. I wonder if she only hangs out with her because Sarah does..maybe Lynn wants to be better but she is afraid to be a leader. I think Bobby was fascinated by her...but not impressed. He called her a slut a few times and said she was dumb. I thought that he wasn't that type of person but I'm glad I was wrong. So somewhere during the conversation I said "She doesn't like me" then he said "Its cause you're not a slut" (or something very close to that) So that made me feel happy that he said that and was nice to me because after the whole thing with Dani and Tyler I wasn't sure any of them would be nice.

When I got home I had about an hour and then I had to go to softball but the game wasn't so bad..I actually got a hit. I also had to slide and I was really scared but I did alright. Then I got home again and went on the computer while trying to do the "To Kill a Mockingbird" questions. (they should have an underlining button on here) I got called to dinner and my mom,who is supposed be on some special diet and shit that she paid $800 for, was eating so much bad food. I really want this to work for her so I got pretty upset when she was eating all the unhealthy food. I sort of whined/yelled at her for it and nobody said anything. Then I swallowed a really hot piece of potatoe and it hurt so I was squirming and trying to make it go down. She shoved a glass of milk in my face and told me to drink it. I yelled again "I don't want that!" or something. My sister, Mary, got really pissed at me for doing that. She yelled at my mom for not yelling at me for yelling at her. My dad has had a tendency to be extra mean and...dangerous lately because he is trying to quit smoking. I think hes compensating for not smoking by drinking more. (Doesnt all this smoking and drinking shit sound like its out of one of those lifetime movies with the delinquent dads who beat their kids?) The drinking causes him to have a shorter fuse and that is on a man whose fuse is normally like an inch. He has always been violent and I think he is more powerful than he realizes. Part of that might be because he was a cop and was trained to be very aggressive. So like a maniac he got from from the table went around and pulled me up from my seat by my ponytail. Then he pulled me backwards right next to the wall and pushed me onto the ground and yelled "Sit there!...facing the wall! For the rest of dinner. You can eat yours when the rest of us are done!" I know that sounds really bad and that the people *Jessica* might not believe the he would do that but he really did. I am not exagherrating. (sp) My mom was very upset and my sister defended me slightly, only saying that he shouldnt be so rough. (I used that comma wrong. GOD DAMN THE COMMAS! I HATE THEM!) My mom told me to come back to the table and finish eating. I went back to the table but I did not finish eating. That sort of stuff makes you lose your appetite. I sat there drinking my milk and glaring at the other 4. Then my mom said to clear my plate and go do my homework. My dad got really mad at that and yelled at her. Trying to impress my she went to drastic measures. She yelled "Alright! Clear your plate, Marilyn, take your shower, and get into bed." I argued saying that I didn't finish my homework yet and she said "Thats too bad. Go to bed." then I said "I will get a detention if I dont do it." so she said "I don't care. You can't get by with being so rude to me" So I said alright and cleared my plate. Then I went to sign off the internet and talked to some people for a while when it occured to me that I should have been doing my homework instead. My mom came in as if afraid and said "I'll get in lots of trouble with your father if he finds out so finish your homework really fast." I finished it.

Today I realized once again how much I hate Sarah. Just staring at her makes me sick. She eats so much and has acne because she is fat. Its so revolting. Maybe some of its genetics because her mom is really fat but my mom and dad are really fat and I'm not fat. She is a very rude person too and shallow. Oh yes, and a hugeass follower. Her and Stephanie are like twins. Why don't they just live together and do everything the same exact way. Today in enrichment class Stephanie was looking at a magazine and making fun of every ugly person or the people making weird faces. Then she would laugh and say "Toot." or "Sarah, look" Then Sarah would begin a "Hehehehhe" type of annoying laugh. I bet if I was in a magazine they looked at they would spend hours laughing at my picture. Dumb bitches. One of the most annoying things about Sarah is how dumb she sounds whenever she talks. I suppose the 2 of them think its cool to sound like complete dumbasses. Sarah started it all. They will say stuff like "continue" instead of "Keep going" or whatever. They also rarely finish a sentence. If you ask them about someone they saw you'll get. short little phrases like "Mexican. Tall. Jersey. Hat." AH! SPEAK IN COMPLETE SENTENCES YOU FUCKIN IDIOTS! I also feel like Sarah is using me again for a ride home and someone for someone at softball. SOFTBALL IS OVER ON MY BIRTHDAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! After that I don't have to be friends with her. I will still have to give her a ride home from school but in no way will I ever feel like I have to be nice to her or apologize when I was rude or anything. She called me a bitch when she was pissed at me. I DONT CARE! I could care less what she thinks of me after that. I know that someday if she continues the way shes going I will have a better life and be a whole lot smarter. I know that sounds really bad and very mean. I'm sorry but I just don't care. I have put up with so much shit from her over the past year and half that she doesn't deserve me being nice to her. Real friends will never make fun of you behind your back. I only do that to her because she is not a real friend and could never be unless she really wanted to be...unless she cared. She even makes fun of Stephanie behind her back. Asshole. They are supposed to be best friends yet she does that anyway. Disgusting. When I get home from graduation that night I will go and take a shower. The shower will not just be a regular shower but it symbolize me being done with everything. When you graduate from anywhere you have to choose to keep your friendships alive. If you don't choose to do that they die like anything would if it was neglected. I CHOOSE NOT to keep that friendship alive. In fact I want it to wither up and die. I'd start neglecting it now if I could but sadly, I still have to keep it alive for 9 more days. I think that maybe all that matters to her is the amount of friends she has. Even if keeping new friends requires stepping on the old ones and treating them like shit. Another thing that bothers me is when she makes plans with people right in front of you. I know that she can't include everyone but still. It is so rude. I don't start making plans and stuff with people right in front of her. She doesn't have manners. Several times Mikaela wanted to go to the movies at softball with her so they began planning it right in front of me. Them Mikaela would say "Marilyn, you can go if you want." She has manners. Even if the invitation is fake at least she makes the effort to say it. I am a bit sensitive but I know what is rude and it bothers me.

I hope that after all that meaness you will understand that I really am nice...when I want to be. Actually I try to be nice to everyone until they have given me a reason to be mean. Even then I try to suck it up. I don't know how well that works but I do try. Sarah just imed me... bye

Go fuck yourself


LoupGarou

:: 2004 7 May :: 9.47pm
:: Mood: doopster poopy!
:: Music: He lives in You - Lion King II: Return to Pride Rock soundtrack

a looooong entry
Howdy! I suppose I shall start with this weekend. (I like this song - 'tis purdy indeed. You should watch the movie *nodnod*)
This Saturday was my mom's birthday. My sister and I woke up early (7:45. That is THE CRACK OF DAWN FOR ME! I usually wake up at 11 on the weekends) and went downstairs to try and cook mom breakfast. Denise was going to do the eggs while I made the waffles. I toasted the waffles and Denise tried to start the stove. Unfortunately Mom came out and saw, since she was sleeping downstairs in the other room thing. We told her to go back to bed anyway and she did. She was just paranoid when she heard someone trying to turn on the stove (it's a gas stove so when you turn it on it makes a clickety noise). Since mom could live off of fruit and nuts, I cut up a pear and took out some carmelized pecans (those are so good). When the waffles were done I put the pears on the waffles and the nuts as well and put whipped cream on the top. Denise finished with her part (eggs and some cereal with some more stuff Mom likes in it) and (I have a lot of parenthesis in this entry, so I thought i'd add another in just for fun) we went outside to the side garden place with the hammock and carefully picked a few small flowers to garnish the plates. We presented it to Mom and she was so happy. She made us help her eat it because it was too much for her to finish.
She got a lot of birthday calls that day (well duh, it was her birthday after all. [Hey look! It's a parenthesis within a parenthesis!]). Oooh and know what? Invader Zim was on that day! Yush it was was! Dib is so awesome.
Later that day I got ready to go to my friend's house so we could see her in the play Oliver at her school. She lives close to the school, so her family, Cassie ([yet another parenthesis thing] Another one of my friends from my old school) and I walked. Her mom is really cool, and her little brother Ian, is so cute!
We saw David Marusiac, I danced with him at the last St. Cat's dance, and I have to say that since I went to school with him, he has changed a lot. He used to tuck his shirt in, which happened to be a button up plaid long-sleeved one most of the time, during free dress, and now he spikes his hair and is a lot more laid back with his clothing: baggy hoodie sweatshirts and more-comfortable-looking pants. Since I didn't give a very good description of the people from that school before, I will try to now. David M is probably about 5'4" or so. He's a blonde-haired, blue/green-eyed guy with a slender frame that can sometimes be slightly hunched over (I think his posture has gotten better though). Personality-wise he's really friendly and I nice person to talk to when you get the chance.
The play was done very well (they actually have a good drama program, unlike my current school. When I was there I was in the production Peter Pan and it was so much fun.) As usual, Vinton got one of the better parts. I mentioned him in another entry but I don’t think I described him much either. Vinton is maybe an inch or two taller than me with hair he spikes that is dark enough to be considered black unless you look very closely (in the play he was wearing a grey wig and a goutee). His skin is about as pale as mine (and I’m pretty pale), and he has these very noticeable green eyes. He also has a very slender frame and from what Julie tells me, he has a six pack now O_o (this is a good thing, people. Yush indeed). He takes pride in his Persian background, even though we try and convince him the Persians are extinct. His parents even gave him a few real swords and an axe for his birthday, which he keeps hanging over his bed. That’d suck if there was an earthquake, wouldn’t it? He’s one of the best actors in the school nevertheless in our grade, as I believe I mentioned before, and he’s a very interesting person to be around.
Anyway, he played the character Faygen, head of the pick-pockets.
Just to warn you, there be more big fat descriptions ahead, mateys.
When the play ended, we waited for Marianne, who played the mother who dies in the beginning, a chimneysweep, a waitress during “Oom pa pa”, and a pick-pocket. We also waited for Julie, who played a pick-pocket, a waitress in “Oom pa pa”, and a strawberry seller that sings. Oh I know you were just longing for another description, so here it is.
Marianne is either the same height or half an inch taller than me, with thin tawny hair that she keeps pulled back most of the time. She takes a lot of pride in her English background, and if you see her room, she has an English flag rug and a huge English flag hanging on her wall. She’s the type of person that takes and interest in dancing and singing and that shtuff.
Julie is one of my best friends. She’s of Italian background with dark-ish brown hair that goes a little past her shoulders. She has large brown eyes and is probably around 5’3 1/2” or 5’4”. She’s very insecure about herself, even though she is one of the most-fit and smartest person I know (should it be “people I know”?). She has very well set down morals and sticks to them. She does not believe in ghosts or anything else supernatural except for the idea of God, because she was brought up that way. Every time I call her or talk to her or want to get together to do something she is always doing homework, and beats herself up if she ever finds herself procrastinating (which in her case is studying for a test that is on Wednesday on Sunday. Overall though, she is one of the coolest people I know, and it’s pretty obvious that she’s going to go far in life. She takes piano and loves it, as well as singing, though she beats herself up over that as well by saying she’s not good even though she is.
We visited for a little while until Julie had to leave, and then I took Marianne’s chimney sweep and her hat along with a fake cigar that shot smoke out of it if you blew in to it and danced around on the empty stage. A little while later they chased after me because I was embarrassing them and Cassie wanted to take one of the props I was using away from me. So I went off stage for a bit and talked with David Hasbany, a really nice guy in my class that worked as backstage crew during the play. Yes, another description. I shall try to keep it brief. David is already 6’1” or maybe a few inches taller. Maybe it was 6’3”. Anyway, as you can guess, he’s pretty good at basketball. He has naturally tan skin and dark brown hair. He smiles a lot and is very nice and polite. Fun to talk to. He always says hi. Yush he is cool indeed.
So I talked with him for a bit and then went on my quest for hats. I found David’s brother, Zach, who played the bad guy in the play. He’s in the 6th grade and already must be 5’10”. In the play he wore a crumpled top hat and I asked him if I could wear it and he let me. He looks just like his brother, with only a few differences. At the time his teeth were all red because he had gotten shot at the end of the play and had a blood capsule in his mouth that he bit. However I didn’t get to wear the hat long. I think he had to go somewhere so he took it back. I then found Vinton and asked if I could wear his hat, which had once been a top hat. He had cut the top off very short and covered it again so the hat reminded me of some sombraro-like thing. I wore it for maybe a minute or so, Vinton’s little sister staring strangely at me the whole time, and then he said “Okay, your moment of glory is over” and took the hat back despite my protests. So I went back to dancing around on stage with the chimney sweep and cigar (Cassie had stolen Marianne’s hat and wouldn’t give it back).

We went back to Marianne’s house, and I had a moment of feeling bad because I wondered if I was obnoxious. It didn’t seem like I bothered many people, but you never know. I have my insecure moments. Because my mom and Cassie’s dad was already on their way to pick us up and we couldn’t go out for ice cream like Marianne’s mom had planned, we made snow cones over at her house. ‘Twas cool indeed. And I like the spoons! Of course, Ian, Marianne’s youngest brother, made sure I had given the spoon back before I left because he was very attached to his special snow cone spoons.

Sunday was Mom’s family birthday party. Not really anything exciting happened there except I saw family. David, my little cousin, is having his first birthday in a few weeks. He’s so cute. He’s gotten a lot more hair and he has these bright blue eyes. His sister, Anna is blonde-haired, blue eyed, and you can tell she’s half Swedish most definitely. She’s so sweet and cute! “Jessie! You want to go bounce on the trampoline with me?” Yush yush cute indeed.

Let’s see now.. Monday. Let me see if I can remember what happened on Monday. Mrs. Gurries moved the science test to Wednesday instead of Friday or Thursday, and Marilyn played hookie that day. Oh yeah, we got a math-free math period and instead helped clean up our principal’s retirement dinner by taking down the big fat decorations. Our vice principal will take over as principal, which really sucks because I don’t like her. And what’s even worse is that a substitute teacher that hates me, Mrs. Duffy, will be vice principal. Blaag! She thinks I’m too random. Well you know what? That’s too bad!
Religion was funny. Kyle randomly asked if the bishop was Jewish. Miss Doherty looked at him weird and he said “Well he was wearing a yammakah!” Miss Doherty explained to him that a yammakah was different than a bishop hat. He didn’t say it to be stupid, just to be entertaining.
A little later in the day Jen said that Anna was going to tell her something about what some of the preps had said. Apparently they were talking bad about her. Once Jen found out, she said that if she felt like it, she would tell me. At lunch, And told me that Dani(ka), Tyler Lefeber, Matt DePaola, Nick Dazzi, and apparently Johnny Cvitanich were talking about the ugliest people in class. Dani and Tyler are major Abercrombie preps while I think the rest were just going with the conversation. They said that Ashley M was the ugliest girl in our grade, and that Jen Chau was the second. Jen is not ugly though. Then they went on naming people and said Louise is ugly (which she is not ) And then they named Marilyn and one of them said “Yeah their whole group is pretty ugly”. And nobody in our group is really ugly. Then they started talking about their own friends. Jessica Lenker is usually really nice. They said “Yeah, if Jess Lenker would just put a bag over her head she whould be the prettiest girl in the world.” Come on! You can’t say that about yoru own friends! “And Shannon look like a dragon.” Shannon is always being made fun of, and it pisses me off how she can just take it like that. She is annoying, but not really mean to any one or anything. It pisses me off. And who are they to say who is ugly? Dani is not pretty. She has dirty blonde hair that is naturally ringlet-curly, but she straightens it. And her straightening sucks. Might as well just call her Miss Frizz head. Her lower lip juts out more than her upper one so much that it seems like there is a crease there. She’s skinny and athletic and most people like her, but my point is that she is not perfect so I don’t know what she is talking about.

Tuesday, I can’t really remember anything significant that happened except I got in an argument with Mrs. Gurries because she thought I was reading a book when in fact I was writing in it. We were supposed to be correcting something and I had my book out ready to correct and was waiting for her to start when she called me up and made me give her the book. I thought the whole thing was funny, especially because it was Erin’s lotr book and didn’t even belong to me. Mrs. Gurries accused me of getting the workbook out to correct after she had called me up. That, of course, was impossible because I stood up immediately and would not have had time to find the page. ~sigh~ some people are so weird. I got it back later.

Wednesday we did our skits in history. Ours was good enough, though boring. Matt’s group, as usual, was the best because it was really funny. They did the Mexican war, so the scene started out with steven and ben sitting with sombreros on their heads playing the guitar. Then Matt shot some Americans with his fake shotgun and sword. Then came the whole war, were Matt would keep shooting people and they would die and then live and die again. Soon Nick Dazzi jumped in in a Zorro hat and a sword and yelled, “I am Zorro!” It was really funny. At lunch we sang song at the top of our lungs and created a whole musical.

Today nothing special happened except I was really hyper this morning and people kept asking if I was high off something. I had to do morning prayer, and during religion class, Marilyn and I had fun being sadistic masochists by hitting each other and laughing about it. Somehow I think I had more fun than she did because later she was complaining to Rose about a “bruise” I had given her when I kicked her. Lol :P Later though we continued our hitting battle after school. ‘Twas fun. Earlier that day though Maria was pissing me off. I was really grumpy, so I was being really mean to her, but she was pissing me off. In Language Arts I’m in a reading group with her and she kept saying how she was going to kill hamsters because she knows how pissed I get when she talks about that kind of stuff. So I hit her and stole her pen and it was fun because most of the reading group was on my side. Yup this is a long entry. I shall shut up now. Sorry to put you through any torture ^_^. Please comment.

1 did | Go fuck yourself


chuckitatthewall

:: 2004 6 May :: 11.00pm

A lot of shitty stuff has gone on this week. I'm so tired out from all the softball and everything else that happened last week. The day off on Monday barely helped. At school there are a bunch of fucked up assholes that I hate cause they are so mean to everyone and deserve to be beaten severely. Dani is the biggest one. She said that I am one of the ugliest ones in the class. Anna over heard a bunch of the assholes talking about it in spanish and then she told Jessica who told me. WHAT MAKES HER THINK SHES SO GOOD LOOKING?! Just because Tyler says it doesnt mean its true. Her lips are huge. She straightens her hair which only makes it look so ugly and puffy and hideous. DUDE! IF YOU INSIST ON STRAIGHTENING YOUR CURLY HAIR MAKE SURE ITS STRAIGHT! NOT JUST ALL PUFFY! ITS LIKE SHE HAS A HEADFUL OF FUZZYS. UGLY,NASTY BLONDE FUZZYS! Then she has to show off her preppiness and say "Shannon,...ew. Don't do that" or "Ew you beast!" Tyler, who also was talking about me being ugly, had to sit at our table for a few minutes this morning but luckily he moved to a different one. Dani sits at my table..that means I would have been stuck with both of the them. I'm done talking about this. All I can say is that I hope they die. Or get hit in the head with a very large rock.
I mentioned Anna up there. That was when she was tollerable. I hate her now. Today during art she was insulting Jen who is one of her only friends at school. She was just trying to fit in with the popular people and stuff by saying that Jen was dumb for trying to get into the same classes as her for highschool. She continued with it when they were agreeing and laughing with her. Why do people do that? Envy will make people do the meanest and stupidest things ever. I feel sort of motherly but I almost want to protect Jen and tell her how bad Anna is.
Lately I have been so sad. The past 2 nights I've cried a long time before I fell asleep. On Monday when I stayed home from school I was flipping through the channels and there was a memorial for Pat Tillman. He grew up in the city I live in and he went to school at Leland. I go there on the weekends for softball. So they were talking about all this stuff and it was so depressing. I started to think about how young he was and all he could have done if he had lived..how great he could have been. Then they started describing him and he seemed really great. Almost like everyone would want to know him. There was a picture of him with his head on his wife's lap and they were both dressed in their wedding clothes. Everything that I saw I tried to find how it could be tied into his death and sort of foreshadow. All my thoughts were set to depressing "mode". So when I saw that picture and how his head was on her lap I thought about how if he was dead he would be laying there like that. She would be holding his head in her lap showing her dedication to him even though he was still dead. If I was a painter I would paint it like that. Sometimes I really wish I had the ability to draw. It sucks. I could paint so many things I have in my head.
I'm tired. Bye

1 did | Go fuck yourself


chuckitatthewall

:: 2004 3 May :: 6.15pm

I don't really want to write for too long so I'm going to only write what is really important and nice.
I'm not going to be leaving woohu because Jessica was nice enough to send the money in for me.
Last Thursday was really the nicest day of the week. We were working in our "To Kill a Mockingbird" groups and Kyle was sitting facing the rest of the group who were facing eachother in the chairs. Gabi and I were closest to him. He was sitting in a swivel chair and he was moving side to side and whenever he did his leg would bump against mine. It was so nice. Then he went to the bathroom because he said he had to meet 2 seventh graders there at 2:00. When he came back he was playing with Gabi's foot then he stretched his leg across to put his foot on Jessica L.'s lap. I felt very jealous at that moment. Then he after he was done he had lost his place in the book and looked at my book to see where we were. I know how stupid that sounds. oh well. So after that he randomly said "Marilyn, what highschool are you going to?". When I told him I was afraid my voice would sound really weird like it does when I havent talked for a while sometimes. Thank God it didn't and I sounded like I usually do. That made me feel really happy too. We finished the 2 chapters we were supposed to and then we went outside to work on the questions that were assigned. He started with Gabi and put a blue dot on her arm and said "Now you're cool" He then reached over and put a dot on my arm and said "You got the dot of coolness" Rose, Brittney, Jess L, and Christina all got the dot. We had done some more of our packet when he started to put more dots on people. He said "Gimme your hand, Marilyn." So i put my hand out and he put another dot on it. He was about to put the second "dot of coolness" on Rose but Gabi told him that he already gave everyone one. STUPID GABI. HE COULD HAVE GIVEN ME A MILLION AND MADE MY ARM COMPLETELY BLUE WTIH ALL THE DOTS BUT SHE HAD TO RUIN IT. So thats my very good experience with the Kylester.
Last week I had to play to 5 games in 6 days mixed with tests, homework, and a bigass project. We had confirmation on Sunday as well. Eric Apple was there. He was wearing a white dress shirt and black pants. He looked very hot. My last name is right between the last names of 2 of Stephanies crushes so I was sitting next to one of them only seperated by his sponsor. (The other one had to sit in the next pew because there wasnt enough room) During the rehearsal she whispered at me and pointed to him. It was kind of embarrassing with my sponsor right behind me and stuff.
Hot guy on T.V did bad this weekend v_v. i'm bad at those..
well thats it for now. bye bye

Go fuck yourself


LoupGarou

:: 2004 3 May :: 2.13am

Captain Jack Sparrow
Captain Jack Sparrow


Pirates of the Caribbean - Which character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Go fuck yourself


LoupGarou

:: 2004 25 April :: 10.58pm
:: Mood: exhausted

Adam's 1st communion thingamabob.
Today was mt cousin, Adam's, first communion and conformation. How come he gets to have both at the same time and not have to do all the crap people at our school have to do? Because his pastor isn't psycho.

Adam's head was covered in oil... *ahem* excuse me.... Crisim or however you spell it, and so when dad when up to get communion he patted Adam on the head automatically and got oil all over his hands. Then he went up to get the host and the priest put it right in his oil-soaked hand. Of course, the host soaked up a bunch of the oil, and what was he supposed to do? "uh... Father, could I get a new one?" nope. He had to eat it. lol.
Not only that but a little earlier the soles of his shoes started melting all over the church floor. It was probably some chemical reaction thing between the wax on the floor and the rubber on his soles, but it was funny watching him take all the nasty clumps of stuff off his shoe, while my grandma was cracking up. She always manages to crack up in church. Once, in a church in hawaii, she started laughing so hard that the priest thought she was crying and she had to go outside to stop people from staring at her.
Anna, my little cousin, was so cute. She was all dressed up and had ribbons in her hair. And she's so cute the way she talks.

After the whole church thing, we all drove over to a restaraunt called Trader Vic's for dinner. It took forever ( as in by the time we left, it had been three hours there.) but the food was ghood and I ate like a pig. It was polynesian-themed, and there were Tiki men everywhere. The thing is, my aunt is weird. In Disney World, she got sad when we went to a Hawaiian restaraunt and left because it reminded her of Nick, my cousin that was killed when he was killed by a car. Apparently he loved Hawaii. However, this place was just as tropical and polynesian-themed as that one, and she had been the one who picked out the restaurant.

A priest named priest Tony, who was also Adam's conformation sponser, came to eat as well. He was actually very cool, by a priest. I think he was gay. lol He was cool. When my uncle asked him if we should say grace before we ate, he said "naahh, we had mass...". Then he ordered a gin and tonic.

Michael, my late-cousin's best friend, came too, and he is so awesome. I seriously think he could do stand up comedy. And it isn't crude jokes he makes either; for some reason he is just very good at doing that kind of stuff. I had met him and hung out with him once before, but that was quite a while ago, and I had forgotten how funny he was. I think he's a year older than me, and I have a hunch he goes to Bellarmine, but I never asked him.

When I got bored from waiting for our food, I would go down to the bathroom, which was huge. It was past a giant stone cow and a few tiki men down a flight of stairs. When you entered you saw a few old-fashioned dressers and then the sinks. There was a whole separate changing room with one of those 3-sided mirrors, and outside the bathrooms was a lounge area with a keather couch, dark wooden table and a giant mirror behing the couch. On either side were a few pay phones. There was even an elevator to get back up.

It's late, and my dad is telling me to get off so I can sleep, so I'll say good-bye for now. He's beginning to snore.

1 did | Go fuck yourself


LoupGarou

:: 2004 23 April :: 6.14pm
:: Mood: bouncy
:: Music: Lies - Evanescence

Look who's back!
Well, dudes, it turns out I'm not leaving this place after all. I sent in the money, and just hope it gets there soon.

Today at the end of the day we had a group come in called S.A.D.D which stands for Students Against Dangerous Decisions or something like that. A lot of the advice they gave us made sense I guess, but we had been talked to about that kind of stuff on the retreat so it wasn't anything new and generally made me feel depressed, damn them! First they told us stories, and one girl even began to cry during it, and then we found out it was all a freaking skit! Stupid people. Then they asked us personal questions and had those who agreed with certain choices move to certain corners of the room, which could be embarassing. And for a marijuana question I moved to a certain side of the room when I actually wanted to get to a different corner, and then Rose and all them went in the middle and created their own "none of the above", which pissed me off, because if I had known they were making that up I would have joined them, but did they tell anyone, noooooo!
*ahem* And yeah. It was better than having to sit through spanish, but oh well. My comma button is being a bitch. I have to hit it really hard for a comma to come up.

I should probably do something productive, like read or work on my story or something, but I don't particularly feel like it. IT'S FRIDAY! Yaaa! There's a dance tonight, but I'm not going.
Stephanie wanted me to go, and I called her this afternoon to tell her that I wasn't coming (she seemed really concerned as to whether I went or not) and her dad picks up and says that she's over at a friend's house, getting ready for the dance. I thought she cared if I went! That irks me somewhat.
Yesterday after school she even sat with me and took out the permission slip and said "Now, let's fill this out for you." Urg! Well whatever. If she's going to act like that, I'm glad I'm not going. Actually, i never even wanted to go in the first place, so i'm happy.
i want to see Queen of the Damned. It got bad reviews, but I want to see it anyway.

Dinner time, I gotta go. bye bye and sayonara!

Go fuck yourself


chuckitatthewall

:: 2004 15 April :: 12.45am

i'm too lazy to seperate this into paragraphs. l
i dont know what the hell is wrong with me! Right now I wanna tell the world to go fuck itself. I dont care about most people that I deal with everyday. Notice the "deal" part. Its cause i dont like them. I am forced to go along working around people. I feel like when I talk to certain people I have to walk on eggshells for fear of hurting their pathetically small amount of feelings. I hate living this dumb life right now. This part is going to sound SOOOOO stupid. I dont give a fuck what you think though. This week I've watched movies about these really cute relationships and like fairy tailish stuff and I wish so bad that stuff like that would actually happen to me. Funny thing is that IT WONT! NEVER! EVER EVER! NOTHING GOOD LIKE THAT WILL EVER HAPPEN! There are several reasons for this. number one is that i have glasses. UGLY! dumb stupid annoying glasses. Nobody likes a girl with glasses. Immediatly they assume that I am a nerd. I'M NOT NERDY! everyone has nerdy moments. I dont THINK that I have that many. If I'm wrong please feel free to burst my bubble. I dont give a shit. I need my bubble to burst if I'm wrong. Thing number 2 is that I'm shy. How can anything good happen if I never know what to say...if i never have anything to say. Maybe its not that I dont have anything to say, but that I'm afraid of what people will think of what I say so I just dont say anything at all. I think thats it. I want to be my self but I'm afraid of rejection. I dont remember the next reason but there are many more. This sounds terrible. I want to kill someone. I know exactly how I'd do it. Yet at the same time I NEVER would. Only out of self defense. I really dont think its worth spending the rest of your life in a jail cell for killing somebody you hate. Then after that its off to hell. The catholic church says that if you are truly sorry God will forgive you. I dont believe that. How can God forgive someone that killed someone else. Anyway, I've decided that I will not spend the rest of my life and after life being punished for one thing. I wish hiring a hit man wasnt a crime... So now I'll describe how I want to murder someone. Beating. Yup. Thats how I'd do it. No cutting or shooting. I'd need physical contact and lots of energy in it. Now that I've scared anyone who reads this.... I try not to fantacise (sp) about this but its really hard when I get pissed. REALLY hard. I suppose I wouldnt be like this if I hadnt been brought up with violence. My parents were always really rough with my sister, Michelle, when they thought she was just a behavior problem. They pulled her hair and hit her..pretty much anything to make her stop being bad. Shes been raped. Yup. SHe wouldnt tell anyone and then she started acting like she used to. She hit my other sister, Mary, and poured a gallon of milk on her. She threw stuff and broke it. She even let Scooter, Jessicas dog who we are dog sitting, get loose. WE FOUND HIM! I dont think Jessica will be happy to find that out. Sorry. My sister gets drunk a lot. Shes lied to my parents. Shes a fucked up dumbass. I hate her. If I ever do any of the shit she does I should hope that someone will beat me.
Wow..i'm tired. bye

2 did | Go fuck yourself


LoupGarou

:: 2004 7 April :: 11.01pm

Well folks, looks like this is going to be my last entry because I don't plan on paying for this unless I get extra features (i know I'm cheap). 'tis sad though, I will admit I have grown attached to woohu. However, if anyone wishes to continue reading my journal or whatever you will find me at Greatestjournal.com under the screen name BloodOfTheNight.

Go fuck yourself


chuckitatthewall

:: 2004 31 March :: 11.02pm

HI! Lets begin with Monday. (it smells really good in my house right now) p.e. need i say more? it was so fuckin hot out there. we had to run 5 laps aroudn the fuckin field then play incrediball. Lynn got so dehydrated that she couldn't see and everything looked weird. She ran into the fence at one point too. Shes okay though. I went to the orthodontist after that. ORANGE IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN YELLOW! (jennifer would understand that). My teeth still hurt. The guy pushes so fuckin hard on them with his little metal plier things.
Tuesday sucked. We went to a jazz competition for kids. We saw this one group of kids perform and they were really good. I saw an Asian guy that I thought was hot. First one for me. Well, he wasn't necessarily hot but he wasn't ugly. English guys are still much better. Sorry Jimsta..not like he'll read this anyway cause of his dumbfuck brother. After we came back from the Jazz thing we had to watch the movie version of Anne Frank. I really liked reading her diary but the movie is soo bad. The girl didnt even look like her and she doesn't know how to say "Peter" its more like "Pater". ARG! Also the girl barely looks like her. Her lips are too full and her cheek bones are screwed up. Her nose is pointy. Anne's nose was not. Also I think for some reason that she didn't act that well. I know that Jessica could have done better had she been alive in 1956. After that I came home and ate my brains out. Not as much as I would have liked cause my stomache started to hurt for some reason before I had eaten to my content. I sound like such a pig. I think I'm growing cause my legs are hurting a lot in that really uncomfortable way that keeps you awake for a lot of the night. I hate growing pains but that is what I use to make myself feel not as bad for eating so much. I'm not all that fat though. I'm around 5'3 and about 120..thats not to bad. My sister is 4'11 1/2 and shes 125. Anyway, back to the day. I didn't study or anything because I got really wrapped up in reading "Little Women". Those who know me, especially my family, would say that it is deffinately a rarity to see me reading for hours on end. I took my shower at 5:00 and climbed into my bed at 5:15. I read curled up very warmly in my bed until about 7:55 when I had to eat dinner. My mom came in to check on me cause she thought I was sick. It didn't hurt that I was only 98 degrees instead of 98.6 so that got me out of doing the chores. She even said that I didn't have to go to school today but I went anyway cause I felt guilty. I wanna miss Monday when we have to run the mile.
Today I finally finished that book after reading for another 2 1/2 hours when I got home. I sound like the biggest nerd ever right now. Oh well. I cried so much as I was reading this book. I cried a lot when I read the Diary of Anne Frank but that was as I was reading the Afterward. I was crying throughout this book because Beth died of cancer..i think cancer but I could be wrong. At one point she wrote "a tear fell onto her thin hands" thats probly not it exactly but it was basically that. That reminded me my Aunt Marie when she was in the hospital and I held her hand. It was so skinny and her arm was bruised. Her hand was so thin that I could see every vein and I swear I could see her bone. Maybe it was just my imagination.
I feel like writing about my aunt..again. It's hard to believe that I've spent almost a full year without seeing her or hearing her. In a way I have heard in her...in my heart. (I don't care how corny this all sounds to anyone and if you feel like being an ass i would just like to say that when someone you really care about dies see how you fuckin feel and see the things that you write) She died on May 10 at approximately 9:00 AM. I remember that I was out front staring blankly at a snail. When the phone rang my heart sank to the ground. Before my sister came out to tell us I sensed it. She looked at us and her lip was quivering and she said "Aunt Marie died this morning. At times like that being the youngest has its very wonderful advantages. My sisters were hugging me a lot and sort of smothering me. Normally I would have headed straight up to my room to sob into my pillow but for some reason I stayed around my family which was probly very important. I've only seen my dad cry 4 times. When his father died, when we found out Aunt Marie died, her funeral, and when he heard "on egles wings" at church once. Its so sad to see such a large break down into tears like he did. I hugged him when we were in the kitchen and sobbed into his shoulder. I feel like we sort of bonded because he had lost someone so dear to him and even though I didnt know her for even half as long I still felt very conncected. Also Mr. Vane was struggling through his cancer so it made it that much harder. No words will ever be able to describe the large void in my heart created by her passing. I only wish everyone could have known her. I'm sure they would love her just as much as I do if they had. In the book it also says that Beth died peacefully with a final sigh to sort of let the world know she was finished. It is so hard to understand how someone could just give up like that. I'm sure my aunt did it. I just can't understand what it is like. I'm sure if you're in that much pain its easy to let go. I'm afraid that even when I feel like that I will try to hold on too hard.
I'm out of time. Good bye.

1 did | Go fuck yourself


dukespartnerincrime

:: 2004 29 March :: 7.05pm
:: Music: whale rider

whale rider
Whale Rider

whale rider, whale rider (both)
whale rider, whale rider
I am the person who likes whales (marilyn's part)
WHALES! (my part)

3 did | Go fuck yourself


chuckitatthewall

:: 2004 28 March :: 9.30pm
:: Music: lets call it...an angry song i dont know the name of

HIYA! Today I've done absolutey nothing. I went to bed last night at 10:00 and "woke" up this morning at 9:30. I suppose I didnt really ever wake up completely. My body woke up but my head didnt/hasnt. I put on a different tanktop when this morning and wore the boxers I wore to bed all day. I actually read for most of morning and watched a little t.v. The stupid book I'm reading is going to get to an interesting part eventually so I tried to read as much as I could without dying from boredom. All I managed to read was about 60-70 pages. The words are really small though...
I took a shower at 5:00 and thats about as much energy I've used all day. It was really nice though. I rarely do this unless I get a "mental health day" off of school. This week has been so long and this day has been too short.
Yesterday was fun at times and at other REALLY boring. I was forced to go to an all day Confirmation retreat my school's gym. We got there at 8:45 and didnt leave until 6:15. We went to mass and had 2 lectures from priests that both lasted at least 40 minutes. Erin H. fell asleep during the first lecutre and Mikaela fell asleep during the second one. I can't blame them. It was incredibly boring. We had a lot of free time though and there was a really hot guy named Eric Apple there. Apple..what a funny last name. If you feel like knowing more about him then you will have to ask me.
Like I mentioned before in a "friends only" entry, my mom works to help disabled children and advocate for them. She helped this one particular girl several years ago named Annamarie. She has downsyndrome and is 16 years old. Her maturity level is that of 7 or 8 year old. When we were in the kitchen waiting for soda she was talking to Amanda and Anna and out of nowhere she said "I just got my period." We all started to laugh becuase we couldn't help it. Then sombody said "Do you like your highschool?" and she said "Yes, there's lots of sexy guys there." We all started to laugh again and the person asked "Oh. Do you have a boyfriend?" and she said "Yes, his name is Manny and he's sexy." We continued to laugh. We were still laughing about it and then she said "Ladiiies, why are you laughing?" Then Sarah started to say because I made a really funny face and then Anna cut in and said "I just told them a really funny dream" so she asked what the dream was about and Anna said it was about her getting shot by a bird. Annamarie looked at us and shook her head. Later on the person, Mrs. Engleterra (sp), that was asking her about highschool talked to us. I remembered her being very mean but she actually understood why we were laughing. She was grabbing my arm kinda weird like as if to say it was okay but to never do it again. It really made me feel bad. I'm just really glad I dont have downsyndrome. I know she doesn't realize that people are laughing at her but it still is really sad that I did and that people do. Its not that I'm laughing at her but laughing at what she does. It sounds so dumb to try to rationalize what I did. oh well.
I'm going to go now cause i'm tired of writing.

Go fuck yourself


LoupGarou

:: 2004 24 March :: 10.22pm
:: Music: Du hast - Rammstein

At long last! An update!
Hazaah! I have returned! Don't worry, I didn't completely ignore my journal, because at one point I tried to type a nice big fat entry, but of course the application quit on me when I was about halfway through! I tried to do it over but then I just lost inspiration. So here I am.

First I'm going to post another one of my lame poems ^_^ that I made after the argument with the guys from st. justin's.

Blind
Misty clouds
Sparkling blue skies
Happiness and hope in someone's bright eyes,
But behind that I hear a voice that cries,
And I know all I've thought has been nothing but lies.

Death and disruption
Terror and fear
Suffocation
Devastation
Screams reach my ear.

All the hope and kindness
I had thought once was
Now lies behind a shadow
And this is all because
Any joys and laughter have been replaced with pain
People are cruel and harmful -
It is hope and love's great bane.

I can do nothing but lie here,
In the void I lie alone,
I try to shut out the angry voices
I'm so far away from my illusion of home.

They scream at me,
They tear me apart,
They're the gremlins of my mind.
I can't open my eyes now,
For the fear of what I might find.

Devastation,
Suffocation,
Terror and fear,
Death and disruption,
The end is surely near.

All that I knew,
All that I thought
Has been a mirage;
In my own lies I was caught.

I couldn't see for real at all,
I was blind until today,
And now I see,
forever more,
I wish I'd stayed that way.
______________________________

There you have it. Please comment.

And now for what happened today. Well, today was Wednesday, which means it's early dismissal. HAZAAH! Religion was boring as usual. I was saying something random, I believe it was "ayee.. ayee.. ayee.. OO OO!" and Nino told me to shut up. Kyle told him that he shouldn't say shut up to a girl and I just told Nino to shut up because it was a free country and I could act like a drugged ape whenever I wanted to. ^_^ Kyle is so nice to me. I think part of that happens to be because he completely despises Nino, which is why he sticks up for me just so he can yell at him.
In history we practiced our little skit. I get to be the British Embassador! YAHAHAAA! That means I get to speak with a british accent. (No, I am not one of those people who completely suck at doing an english accent impression. I'm not the best, because I slip up sometimes, but I'm pretty good I guess. AT LEAST I CAN DO THE "'ELLO POPPET" THING CORRECTLY! *ahem* this shall be explained later). Then came math. We reviewed for our test, which is tomorrow, and when it came to one problem, pretty much everybody in the class got it wrong except for Amanda, who is usually the one getting math problems wrong. Needless to say, Ms. Gengras got really pissed off. She shut her book, erased the board, and angrily told us to just do stuff for the five minutes left in the period. We had the choice of talking about anything, but everybody decided to work on math instead. ^_^ We are so super-dee-duper!
During recess Stephanie was busy obsessing over a boy named Joey and Marilyn was listening intently. lol. It was funny. Meanwhile I was getting my books out for the next periods while singing "WEEEEEEEE WEE WEE WEE WEE WEE WEEEE!" at the top of my lungs in an opera voice and
dancing stupidly in the locker room.
In art we started on out wire sculptures. Nick Dazzi did one that made the guy look really fat and I wondered if he was a sumo wrestler. lol. I did one of that famous sculpture thing "The Thinker". Haven't finished yet, but so far it is turning out alright. Toni Ann is doing one of a person doing karate, Amanda is making one of a ballerina, and I don't know what the heck Jennifer is making hers of.
Then came Language arts, where we took our infinitives test. I think I did well enough. Mrs. Saunders, our Language teacher, has started a new thing where she lets us silent read for 20 minutes or so, so I started reading the new book I got on Saturday: The Mists of Avalon . It's really good. I ish enjoying it. It's a story following the tale of King Arthur and Morgan le Faye and all them, and it's over 875 pages long, but that makes it all the better! I hate Gwenhwyfar (guinevere) for she is evil! lol Before we took the test, Eric Z. (I call him Donald-kun), who sits behind me, kept talking about Satan, trying to scare me.
Where was I?
Oh yeah! Science! We had the science quiz and I actually think I did pretty well, except I labeled the Newtons squared when Anna told me after the test that I wasn't supposed to do that. URG!
Throughout the day everyone had been calling me evil. I don't think I'm evil, and even though they were kidding, it made me wonder if I really was mean. I'm sarcastic, and sometimes people can take that the wrong way, but I never actually thought myself as mean. I always thought I was usually pretty nice to people. It started with Jennifer calling me evil in history and then it moved on to Toni Ann. *sigh* I hope I am not evil. I don't mean to be and if I ever am, I'm sorry.
Got off track there a bit. After science was lunch, and... hmm... I really can't think of what happened during lun- OH WAIT! Stephanie had a "secret" that she told Louise and Mikaela and everyone but didn't want Marilyn to know. So Marilyn got all frusterated and eventually guessed what the secret was: that Stephanie was going to ask Marilyn if she'd be mad if she went out with Joey. In case you hadn't guessed, Marilyn kind of likes Joey. Well she got really mad, and started muttering stuff under her breath about how she wanted to beat Stephanie while I stood there laughing maniacally at anything that moved and petting my water bottle because Louise had hit it. I think Marilyn got annoyed at me being so hyper because she took poor mister water bottle and threw him in the trash after I had poked her in the face with him about a million times, collapsing into another hysterical fit of laughter every time I did it. *sniffle* But she ruined my fun.
By the end of lunch stephanie had found out that Louise had spilled it (though might I say you held out quite well, Louise), and was a tad bit mad yup yup. I was talking to Mikaela about drama and she said that her mom (the drama teacher) was thinking of casting me as Satan or Pontious (sp?) Pilate for the Passion play. I started bouncing around being excited because I might get to play Satan, who walks around in the audience in a hooded costume so you can't see his face, following Jesus and being all creepy and stuff. That's when I realized I wasn't going to be here the day we performed the play. I would be on a plane leaving for Easter vacation. I hadn't told Mrs. Borges (MIkaela's mother) this yet, so I decided to when I had drama this afternoon I'd tell her. So after lunch when she came down to the room, I asked her just to make sure, "Mrs. Borges, are we performing the pay on Holy Thursday?" "yes." "Aw. I don't suppose there's any chance we can do it on Wednesday, because I won't be here thursday?"
She was in a pissy mood. "Well you know what? I can't exactly change around a whole school assembly to a different day now can I?"
"Oh right right I know, I was just making sure." I replied, feeling very tiny. So I went in the room and sat down, and she started yelling at everyone for not bringing their poem sheet thing. Then she said bitterly, "And Jessica tells me now that she won't be here on Holy Thursday and asks if I can change the whole thing to Wednesday!" Mrs Saunders was in the room because we used her room for drama, and she said "She can't do it on Wednesday either because we're on retreat." Then she asked me where I was going to be on Holy Thursday, and by this time I had shrunken down, hunched over the desk, so I replied in a smaller voice than I ever normally used "I'm going to be on a plane."
Mrs Borges looked at me and said "Oh well you know what? I'd like to get on a plane and go some place right now!"
It wasn't my fault. I hadn't scheduled the plane to leave on that day. I wanted to be in the play, but all the blame was on me, and I was being humiliated in front of the drama group. Believe it or not my vision began to get blurry with tears. She was so mad at me, and I hadn't done anything but tell her that I wasn't going to be there Holy Thursday.
"Well, Jessica, it looks like this class is going to be a waste of your time then."
Mrs. Saunders gave me some things to do, and I watched the play and what they were doing. I love acting, I couldn't help but take an interest in it, even if I wasn't playing in it. I had stopped crying now, and just watched intently. Luckily no one had seen me cry, because that would have been even more embarrassing.
I took an extra script from one of the desks and followed along. I saw that she had me marked down as pilate. Once Pilate's part came up, Mrs. Borges had to have Jessie S do it instead. But she said that she had cast me for pilate because she thought I'd be a good pilate. It's good to know that she at least acknowledges me as a good actress. When teh period was over I handed her the script which she hadn't noticed I had taken to follow along and seemed sad kind of. I guess she had seen that I was trying to make an effort, or was at least taking an interest in the play.
After school we went to a community service thing so those that needed hours could get hours. I worked in the pantry with a group of people from my grade and some of the teachers. It was interesting doing the stuff with the teachers because thay talk teacher talk and are actually funny to listen to. Mrs. Borges had personally apologized to me for being so mad and explained to me that she had been having a bad day and didn't mean to be so harsh. I told her that I wished I could play pilate, but I couldn't. While in the pantry, we had to package onions. The onions were disgusting! Moldy and rotten most of them were, and if you have ever smelled rotting onions, you know what I am talking about. Sickening. Mrs. Borges was checking the onions to make sure if they were okay or not, so she'd pick one up and go "soft... firm..soft... firm" and then all the teachers started laughing because it sounded nasty. She realized why they thought it was so weird and she laughed and called them gutter brains. Gavin, the only boy in the group, left because of that, which made it all the more funny. When he finally came back we were still doing onions and everything, and Mrs. Borges was looking past us to something else, listening. After all the teachers had said "Yay! Gavin's back" and apologized for what had happened, Mrs Borges, who I had said was listening to something else said "You ran out of bananas, what?" Which started the whole thing again and Gavin left once more while the rest of us were laughing our heads off.
The cool thing about going to this place is that afterwards, if you are riding in the car with a nice teacher, they will stop at Wendy's and buy you something to eat! 'Twas nice. I really g2g. bye bye!

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